How to stop feeling hurt after a breakup

you're not sure how to be happy? do you know what stuff you like? what about a place you can go to meet people and be with friends?

Is just that every time I try that I can't stop feeling like shit even though I'm with my friends

What .. are .. you .. doing ??? Don't you realise the fact that if you keep contact with her, the "depression" will last longer? I guess she left you, right? In that case, she is just writing to you, just to know that she can have you anytime she want, and THAT, my friend, its not something good for you. I strongly recommend you to block her on every social media right now, to make her realise that she can't fuck with you anymore. If, in the future, she wants to contact you again, she will still knows your address, phone number, email, and those things. Be strong my friend, I know this is a hard time, but you need to do things right, from this exact moment. You will be better.

I forgot to mention, the only way she comes back to you, is: 1.- she still love you, and 2.- realise she completely lost you (and you wont get that by keeping contact with her). And realise too that she ERASED you from her life, so putting it that way, you still want to be with someone who did that?.

could you play a sport with your friends or get something to eat or play a videogame? what about going for a scenic walk with them?

I had someone who used to be a very good bro. I would talk to them about girl shit and it would seem so trivial because we could talk openly and admit that girls these days are hoes.

For my long term girlfriend taking me almost a year

I also went through a break up and feel like shit. I've been drowning my feelings in video game murder and alcohol and it seems like a temporary fix. The feeling of when I think of her is no longer a sharp pain. She wanted to stay friends and texted me a week ago and I said I needed more time. Probably going to text her after finals are over because I want ask her some things about why she broke up with me.

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should be replying back with great found another GF!
she WANTS to know she ruined you. all chicks do.

plus turn your phone off get on with your life.
anything to take your mind away from her dont matter what it is: work, project you have been putting off whatever.
the more you sit and think about it the more you will sit n stew on it. so best thing is keep your mind active.

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Delete her from everything you dumb fuck. Move on. It'll take time and sucks, but don't talk to her, she's a cunt.

You seem yet connected to her, eliminate this feeling.

As said, consider that she wants to know she ruined you.

I know it's hard but you'll achieve more in life if you look from now to the future, not the past. Cut communications with her if it makes you better (probably will), and focus on other women. Get things to do, go out more with the friend you probably neglected. It'll be fucking hard in the beggining, but it's a necessary leap.

GO FUCKING NUCLEAR OP

Only the passage of time worked for me, that or getting a new girlfriend.

Don't try to convince her to get back together. The feelings aren't there, so she will not say yes no matter how much you try to reason with her. It's actually just pushing her away more every time you try because you look needy and desperate. You have to spend some time working on yourself. Go out and meet new people, learn a new hobby, work on your appearance/health, etc. Don't talk to your ex at all for a while, or at the very least don't initiate conversations. If she talks to you, you can respond a bit (try to make it look like you're always positive and happy and productive) and after a little while act like you're busy doing something and have to go. After at least a month of focusing on yourself (longer if needed) go get lunch with her and don't bring up the relationship or negativity at all, be the best version of yourself. By then you will have an easier time figuring out if you even want to try getting back together or not. If you do still want to get back together, you should try to make her want you instead of seeming desperate all over again. Before trying to ask her to be with you again, make sure there is new chemistry there and that the issues that caused the breakup won't be a thing anymore. You wouldn't want to go through this all over again later, right? Also keep in mind that you will have to keep this up. You can't only act positive, you will have to genuinely work on yourself and be better.

I can't vouch for whether or not this is productive advice for getting a girl back, but I'm in the same boat as OP and doing just this and it's absolutely good advice.

I kept trying to see her after the breakup and apart from some flirting, the odd kiss, and drunken phone sex, all I achieved over a few weeks was proving that I was still over-emotional and messy and desperate for her. I must have reeked of desperation. We cut down the contact naturally because I struggled to keep everything together, and I realised that if I actually did want her back then by trying so much and struggling I was just working against myself and making it more difficult. None of that shit like crying in front of her or digging up the past anymore, fuck that.

Now I'm getting fit and going to the gym again, going out again and reconnecting with old friends (a female one as a bonus as well, which she's noticed), and most importantly I know now that I'm the most important person in my life, not her. So long as I'm happy and successful then if she doesn't want me it's her loss, because someone else will. Same goes for you, OP.

I saw her last week after about a week or so of only minimal messaging, and for the first time in forever there was no significant awkwardness, strained conversation, or emotions spilling out from me. It felt great to be in control again, and she seemed to struggle saying goodbye to me.

OP if you're capable of cutting off contact, then fucking go for it. I wasn't able to because I didn't have enough support from elsewhere to get me through rock bottom, but even just having space has allowed me to recalibrate my life and realise what's important. Me. It doesn't matter if you get her back or not, what you want to do now is do everything you've neglected. Sort yourself out, because then everything else will follow. Start a fucking adventure.

It's normal to be upset after a breakup. What you need to realise is this happens to everyone at least once in their life minimum. Work on improving yourself, best advice I can give is get to the gym and improve your physique. This will help is several ways, firstly it will improve your confidence and self esteem, which will improve literally every aspect of your life down to the smallest detail. Second you will start to attract attention from other girls, which is important when you feel like you will never find love again, the realisation that there is more than one girl in the world is liberating. Also, cut contact for a while, ignore her messages, it just digs it all back up again. It's over user, and one day you will look back, when you have an amazing girl under your arm and realise that this was a great turning point in your life. Sorry for the wall of text

This. Perfect advice

Good on you, user. I'm going through the same kind of thing right now and after about a month and a half of minimal contact I finally feel okay. I hope OP tries this too.

thank you user(s) for your advice. im not op but i did break up with my girlfriend and she lashed out at me hard, saying some really hurtful things, and she kept begging me to get back with her when i would check in on her. ive finally blocked her and im not going to talk to her for a long while. but I still cared about her.

But I see a lot of myself in OP. I'm depressed. I'm so anxious all the time. And it's because I kept looking onto others for my happiness. I can't do that. That's why I broke up with her in the first place. And if I don't change my act now, I will be the monster I broke off from. So thank you for taking your time to say these things for anons like us. I appreciate it.

OP here, thank you so much to all of you, yesterday I was so fucking depressed that i turned everything off

As for what I'm going to do I'm leaning towards minimum to none contact with her until I feel I can take that shit again, also start to do more things once this depressive state of mine starts to wear off because most of the time i have zero energy to do anything. There is nothing I want more in my life than the two of us being together again and that sucks, specially because every time we talk I end up bringing up the subject of getting back together and it always explodes in my fucking face.

I do hope however to get to that point of feeling good again and stop feeling sad all the fucking time, I promise you guys I'll get there and I will always think about your words, thank you so much

You're gonna make it

Not op, but what if it's been five months. What if we've followed the cutting off on social media and everything else. What if we finally reached a point where we thought we had gotten over her. Then one day she comes back and says that she still supports you in everything you do. And you try to reconnect, not even in a romantic way, and you're met with the same level of disconnection that you had been left with in the first place. How do I finally get over her?

Even though she says she supports you, sounds like she's not willing to put in the effort to actually develop a friendship. If talking to her still brings back those memories and makes you feel bad, you may have to cut contact again.

Block her. Trust me. Stop talking to her.

I'm only a couple weeks in and I've found that working, or working on something helps mend things. Exercise goes a long way too.

The fact that she calls doesn't mean that she cares. It means that she still wants to keep him around just in case things don't work out with Chad.

We get 20 of these a day I swear do these op's even look at other anons threads that cover the same exact problem ? Dude you make her jealous, you make her chase you by not being her little lap dog that's gonna come running every time she's whistles for you. Act like you don't give a damn about her, let her see you with another girl and she will be jealous and want you back, that simple

This. Gotta shift that power dynamic. Right now she complete control over whether you and her are dating or not.

Each time you break up you're saved from being stuck in a bad relationship. If you stayed together her lack of interest would become apparent and probably cause other issues later on. It hurts, but try to take it as a good thing