How do I leave the incel mentality?

If that's you, you're doing fine. Get over yourself.

>How do I leave the victim mentality
Ftfy

this!!! too many incels don't even take care of their gross asses, never clean their fucking teeth, never wash their damn greasey faces, never clip their nails
as long as you aren't a gross ass, you can totally get a girl.

Change your circumstances
Do you think your body is gonna change by doing nothing everyday?

Let me put things in perspective, just so you know why I believe you can change.

>be 34yo
>be king of manlets
>more month at the end of the money, than money at the end of the month
>been NEET for months at a time, several times during my mid- to late twenties.
>been sleeping at my workplace, and in guestrooms, since 2013
>recently moved back into my parents' (will get them to move within a year's time, due to old age, and take over the apartment, but still...)

I had oneitis twice during my twenties, with moderate depression as a result. Since I turned 30, I've fucked 13 women, one of which has been my primary for 18 months (25yo), another who's been my fuckbuddy for about 8 months (23yo). Both adore me, even as I got no place of my own, I don't drive a car, I often got mere cents to my name, and I'm ten years older, give or take. /Soc/ rates me a 6, possibly 7.

I decided I didn't want to live a life deprived of women, so I learnt how to hold a conversation as a man, and made it my task to understand what women want. The competition isn't even worth mentioned, because most guys, both incels and guys who are getting some, don't care to understand women. The incel echo chambers are lazy, unimaginative and fatalistic.
It's a lot more fun to date women, when you don't take it so fucking seriously.

Why not start disliking people in general for 99.99999999% of them just being courteous to you and likely never even giving you a chance to be friends? If you're just looking to fuck get a nice escort, otherwise to have a relationship you have to have a strong bond, and a friendship imo is born of a coincidental bond. You have to not only make yourself appealing to spend time with by being an interesting person to talk to who has hobbies, experiences, ideas and stories to talk about. If it seems like an overwhelmingly large group of people are shitty, including those you've never met that are relevant to your city, you just might be shitty or an uninteresting unestablished person who needs to make yourself into something.

i have to ask..

how tall are you

OP I know that feel and have no clue how to escape it either. There isn't a logical response that can refute it. Just a load of just-world-rationalisers

That's very kind of you to get those ham planets laid. You're truly doing good in the world.

You've got more problems than height if that's your question. Find your real problems rather than latching onto what you're insecure over.

I told you already. King of manlets

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OP here I workout, have good hygiene and the bench press record at school, like I said I suffer from a mentality, not a physical issue.

Recognize it for what it is
It's just poisonous self-indulgence

Change your beliefs.
Like actually change your beliefs.

>Women are great. They're not like men, but you're not attracted to men, are you
>Women are available. It's YOU who have made yourself unavailable, by listening to the cancerous incel tribe and their lazy mentality
>Good women want what's best for you, but they are vulnerable, so can't trust that you're worth it, until you trust yourself that you are
>Be the change you wish to see in the world, and don't expect to see results BEFORE you've convinced yourself that the aforementioned is gospel

>OP here I workout, have good hygiene and the bench press record at school, like I said I suffer from a mentality, not a physical issue.

honestly I wouldnt suggest this type of advice to 99% of people but since youve already delved in to the abyss I would say that Real Social Dynamics (a pickup artist sellout seminar series) might actually help you with the mental block youre facing.

Its kind of a bridge between incel thoughts and healthy thoughts on women.

Only Tyler. Don't listen to RSD people who aren't Tyler

You're right I don't believe you.

I actually think you should get out there with women and interact with them as much as possible. I feel like incel communities are breeding grounds for every negative and insecure thoughts. Jow Forums too can be quite negative and destructive for your own mental health.

You're on a board that would rather date teens than grow up
I appreciate that you tried but it's really not worth it

>Only Tyler. Don't listen to RSD people who aren't Tyler

yesss
I honestly have barely listened to anyone else

Yes, I'm coming to this realization every fourth month or so.

However, I'd like to think my advice applies for any sexually active age. You'd still be fucking more than not at all, if you knew how to turn girls on.

How hilarious for me

It applies pretty broadly if these guys would step down but this is Jow Forums. It's Facebook for edgy manchildren of the lowest caliber, and that's being nice about it

Although at least we're Jow Forums and not Jow Forums or /soc/

what's your race?

Even if that is real, the only even average thing is her butt and that's probably because of the angle. I suppose you should be thankful you're getting laid at all... although if that's what you're tapping then you really don't have much to brag about my dude.

The concept of social "frames" is something that is really interesting to me. Do you have good resources for this? Redpill information contains a lot of useful stuff, I'm turned off by most of it because it's so dehumanizing and seems to focus only on sex and not relationships.

>redpill information contains a lot of useful stuff, I'm turned off by most of it because it's so dehumanizing and seems to focus only on sex and not relationships

Yea I agree. The main benifit with RSD type thinking is that its more focused on "inner game" and the belief in not manipulating women to sleep with you but becoming a better version of yourself and having women as a byproduct of that

the blueprint is a good place to start, but dont give them money just torrent that shit. Like the other poster said tyler is the one you want to hear speaking. And of course as with all pua shit please take it with a shaker of salt. Really sift through the dirt and you'll find a couple of good nuggets that have helped me immensely with women throughout my life

Light quadroon. Half Scandinavian, half Atlantean for lack of a better description. My father is mix between European and African.

I was almost tempted to prove it to you, but I'm pretty sure you won't care anyway. She's on the skinny side, I'll give you that, but she's got the cleanest ass I've ever encountered. Tastes like nothing at all. Also, wasn't bragging, I simply wished to disprove the ham planet statement, and furthermore I never said she was the best I've ever had. I used to date a Norwegian TopModel contestant for five years.

>Norwegian top model
Ok now I now I'm getting trolled.

Now I know* fucking auto correct

online dating is cancer and can make people even more depressed

>Things can't happen because I said!
Who cares what you think anyway, incel
Or maybe you soon """"volcel"""" on it. Loving every laugh

Well, you're not. I came her to provide advice because I actually know what I'm talking to, when it comes to attracting women. It's therapeutic.

Awww are your feefees hurt because someone on Jow Forums doesn't believe you? Gosh nobody on an anonymous image board would ever lie about things! That's impossible!!

I came here* I'm not even a phoneposter

That wasn't me btw.

I'm not that poster but nice try, I just wanted to point out the irony of an incel bashing other peoples' sexual accomplishments
Literal, actual projection

I think this is a better board for you.

underrated

In that case, what would you say to me?

>Never make moves on girls ever
>Lose my virginity straoght to the third girl I ever decisively go for
>Now so eaten up by my sexless past and countless missed opportunities I'll never get back I can't flirt with women anymore

Whenever I try to talk to a girl, I realise I'm not trying to get to know her or fuck her, but prove to myself that I can be chad and act as if my past never existed. Which leads to it being horribly unfun and awkward and unsuccessful.

how can I hope to gather all the experiences a chad makes in his youth and be as if I started fucking in my teens?

Although screwing around with my first was surprisingly good, I feel as if one woman alone is a drop on a hot stone and I'll need to bang hundresds really quick to ever "get there"

This is it.
The hope for true incels is that there is more to life than women. Not too much, being a sexually reproductive species and all, but enough to make life somewhat worth living.
I advise finding a career or pursuit that is meaningful and has a community (not incel) and diving headfirst into.

It really is the only and best advice but its difficult making incels agreeing to it.

>some men will have it and some men will not.

Real nice cope. I know personally a guy who lost it at 31 and has by now probabl fucked dozens of girls. All that I've seen where at least reasonably attractive.

Pray tell, what would happen if you'd apply that cowardly, defeatist attitude to other things in live? Like getting a job, an education or a social live?

I'm pretty sure you just assumed I'm an incel to fit your stereotype of me because I'm critizing you. I don't really care which one of you I was responding to as the person who it was intended for read it anyway.

I'm also pretty sure I said I was glad that the op was getting laid. Stay mad that you're porking uggos

>poking uggos

That chick is average at worst. Let me guess, you're one of those incels who for some reasons thinks only the most uper of models are barely good enouh for them?

Most people fuck average people, duh. Even chads mostly bang average chicks, because you guessed it, average people are the majority ba nature.
Nevermind that women are naturally made to be hot even when flawed ,and it shows.

It's tough because it's just something that non-incels cannot relate to. I didn't lost my virginity until I was 19, which is bad enough.

>got laid 3 years ago
>thinks he isn't involuntarily celibate for being dry since
Being 23 sure is tough, huh

>It's tough because it's just something that non-incels cannot relate to. I didn't lost my virginity until I was 19, which is bad enough
Oh yeah real tough life you got there

Well, first of all you're not outcome-independant. You wish to prove to yourself, and I'm pretty sure by doing that you forget to actually have fun - which was what made you chad for the girl you lost your vcard to.

Also, you would grow tired of fucking a lot of different women, a lot sooner than you'd like to suspect. This is the thing. You're reaching way further than you're actually comfortable with. The idea of fucking hundreds shouldn't even concern you. The idea of having a pleasant evening among women, where you're in control over your own boner, where you can take it or leave it - even if a hot ticket is offering - that's where you should want to be. Become more comfortable with the idea that even questioning whether or not you're getting any, is not something that falls natural to anyone. People are attracted to people who act natural, sensual, lighthearted - if all you're doing is desperately wanting to be chad, that's hardly natural. Sex should be fun, not this aggressive hunt for satisfaction, and how you're communicating with your words and body language, is really telling where you're coming from. Change where you're coming from, and then be honest about it.

I never called anyone ITT an incel.

I'm not posting her face. Never said she was the most beautiful woman in the world. I've even told to her face that she's beautiful in an okay-ish way. But she isn't half bad.

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I fucked up and didn't include what I was replying to initially.
I have incel friends who are my age (mid-20s) and it's awful, I feel for them. Not trying to be obtuse user.

/thread

I'm the been-dating-a-top-model-user, I've fucked 18 women, several of which have been official GFs for 11 years combined, and yet
>my very best friend of 16 years is a virgin incel neet. At 34. We meet and have deep conversation several times every single week.
Pretty sure I've sat through enough stories to relate, somewhat at least. It's basically the reason I found this thread interesting. And no, I've never made fun of him, I just think it's sad - and so does he. He's basically a volcel at this stage, and we both believe what's happening to young men with this mindset is tragic. He can't change what he's been through, but older guys like us can still contribute to threads like these.
>volcel
>yep, I used the word I just learnt was a thing

Agreed. I could easily have been an incel if I was about ten years younger desu. Times have changed quickly.

You'd be guessing incorrectly. An average girl with a personality that works with mine is more than enough for me. Then again, I don't go around bragging about getting laid by uggos or even average girls.

I don't know who you think you're referring to by its not me.

It's difficult to tell who's calling who an incel.

Leave this site and never come back
Also Phenibut

The only sure way out of a predicament is to behave intelligently, not to subscribe to hateful ideologies made by the lowest people.

What does your participation in incel shit really earn you?

>My incel thoughts will take over again.
If you believe them to be untrue or unjust opinions, why do they take over?

Maybe the incel stuff is just a mask for you feeling neglected, abandoned, or inferior when it comes to your relationship with society.

The prevailing culture sometimes outcasts more people than it lets in, so there’s an undercurrent of sad people, including men who are counterproductive and hateful because they don’t have easy access to sex.

I use this site and don’t let the heathens change me into them.

The difference is that the way of thought OP wants to get away from exists mainly online, and this site might just have about the biggest concentration of it.
Staying away is going to keep him from reinforcing his already prelevant thoughts trought selective bias.

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>if all you're doing is desperately wanting to be chad, that's hardly natural.

Yeah, no joke. It also feels horrible, because I'm normally not someone to try and fake stuff. But around hot women I feel compelled to do so, which is a shitshow obviously.

>You're reaching way further than you're actually comfortable with.

Yeah, before my first time I catually could've had sex on a club toilet with some girl, but didn't go through with it because I wasn't comfortable. Not much of a romantic, but thats quite a bit for never having fucked before.

>Change where you're coming from
That is the hardest part. I know I'd much rather be myself than some abstract idea of "Chad" and just have fun with women. I'll have to write off the past as the past, accept it as a loss but also see that it doesn't dictate my future and present.

Yeah as nice as she seems now she probably fucking sucks to be with.

>try to lower your standards

I get this advice all the time. I'm not OP but I'm not sure why some people assume problems with women mean my standards are too high. I go after "average" girls, the issue is even average girls are getting pursued a lot now, especially if they frequent apps like Tinder. Hell even the girls I know that have some issues and complain men don't want them still have guy always hitting them up for relationships etc. Meanwhile I actually don't get any action because women only see me as a friend but not attractive enough to date. And when I say attractive I don't just mean looks either.

never talk with an incel about standards. it’s irrelevant, and they printed have distorted views about it.

most incels are too angry, scared, and dysfunctional to find a partner, but they rationalize it with all sorts of nonsense so that they can escape responsibility.

Its shit advice, Women smell when you're desperate, and they also know if you're taht thirsty you're willing to take anyone who'd have you. Suffice to say, it's horribly unattractive and will limit you to equally desperate (read : fat and nightmarishly ugly) women.

>women only see me as a friend

very often the reason for that is that you present yourself as afriend to them in the first place. Show your interest, risk getting rejected instead of playing it safe and you will get some.

It's only a loss if you can't find anything to learn from. It got you to where you are right now, writing here. Now, when is the right time for you to let go? Ten years from now? Five? One year? Next week?

Letting go is something I'd encourage you to do continuously, throughout your day, every time you interract with someone, and they do or say anything you didn't expect or didn't want. It's what makes you easy and pleasant to be around. There not the present, past and future, as much as it is attitude to the living unfoldment. Shit happens all the time. Sometimes in the form of the shit test, and this is where the fun begins. Women will be shit testing. I kid you not, they will always be, at all stages in any form of relationship, as long as they're not your employees. It's biological, but a lot of guys feel as is this is some evil plot to make fun of you, when the truth is (or at least the truth I wish to believe in--) that the shit test is a compliment. As I wrote early on, women are vulnerable, and they need you to provide reason to trust you. That's what the shit test is for.

Learn to fall in love with it. Go out and try to experience it as much as possible. You'll get them served whenever you approach women, so it shouldn't be difficult. Learn to love to fail them, because what you're actually doing, is prepping yourself more and more, thickening you skin further, and during the process you'll also learn what actually works. When you walk up to a woman, fully released of anxiety over whether or not she wants to talk to you, changes are you're communicating enough courage and confidence, she'll actually want to. And then what? Aim for another shit test. And if you're really feeling lucky, serve her one (but don't nag, just question something she just said, playfully.)

Don't make it your purpose to fuck women - that'll happen when you're ready, and know how to trust that you'll both enjoy yourself, it's better not to fuck it up by rushing into it.

Read "The Game" by Neil Strauss.

Got me out of it at 20 and I've been happily married, happily divorced, and happily banging away ever since.

>It's only a loss if you can't find anything to learn from.

True that. I *did* learn plenty, even though maybe not in regards to flirting. Not like I spent my life on WoW servers.

Tough yeah, being open to allow things to happen as they happen seems to be key and also what I'm keeping myself from.

>Sometimes in the form of the shit test
Funny enough, I talked to this with my first at length becaus ethe concept irritates the hell out f me. She freely admitted to doing it to me all the time, yet I never consciously noticed. Sehs aid she wanted to see if I am who I appear to be (what you said about trusting someone). And since I'm rather genuine when I'm in the moment (I remember talking to her abou Israeli tanks in the seven years war at length while at a club, because she was from there and it was the first thing that popped into my mind), it seems these test ran into nothing by default.

though I admit that I get pissed off at it sometimes, especially with this "wait here for me" bullshit. I mean, at least have the basic respect to be subtle about it. Though next time that happens, I'll probably just tell her I'll find her and get back to doing my thing instead of standing there for another minute like a stooge in hopes that it wasn't just bullshit this time.

Oh, and thanks for your well thought- out posts user, much appreciated.

>present yourself as a friend

Is this true? Because I see women stay wildly interested in men who are already taken/aren't interested, even if the guy has made it pretty clear he doesn't want more.

What part of "this pill, once swallowed, cannot be unswallowed" didn't you get?
You can live a life of happy ignorance or you can know the truth. You can't just choose to stop knowing the truth once you learn it.

>especially with this "wait here for me" bullshit. I mean, at least have the basic respect to be subtle about it. Though next time that happens, I'll probably just tell her I'll find her and get back to doing my thing instead of standing there for another minute
That's the spirit.
Here's a one hour video as a token of my appreciation. You've shown that you actually care about improving.

youtube.com/watch?v=b-a1jXgAsQI&t=63s

I'll continue if the thread isn't dead tomorrow. Heading out to turn a couple of cold ones.

Not him, but I'll try to answer.
A ' friend' in the sense that she don't want to take anythibg further than friendly conversation. The taken guy isn't that. The fact that he's taken makes him attractive, so he's on her to-do-list for when they break up.

Thing is, none of this matters more than to serve as a pointer. It tells you whether you've done a good job or not. You haven't but that doesn't mean you can't still. You just have to change your game with this particular one.

Switched to phone and walking downhill, so note sure whether that was intelligible

I agree on the phenibut you will see social situations in a whole new light, that's my experience at least

>whether you've done a good job or not
As a human being that's attractive to other human beings, or as a human being that's attractive to one particular human being?

Are married ugly and fat people living happy lives of ignorance? Sorry still trying to figure out how you retards's lore works..

IMO it's better that you're realistic about it. Some guys are just genetically more gifted and therefore more attractive to women. Same goes for women too. It's not "fair", don't listen to anyone telling you it is.

You don't have to suffer and feel like this but IMO you're better off realistic, even if the reality is rather grim.

youtube.com/watch?v=dlIpttfUTts

Guy who you responded to here.

I have a degree, a decent paying job (71k starting. In 5 years it will be around 100k), a house, a car, lots of friends, and a family that loves me. Yes, I am missing out on the sex and relationships part but am doing pretty well in the other areas of my life, thank you.

What a fucking lying ass nigger. This is why I hate people who label themselves as "incels". You niggers aren't suffering from true despair, you're just a bunch of failed normies looking to circlejerk and shitpost.

Fuck off, asshat. Try putting your picture online for the first time ever, on tinder, and only receiving 3 fucking matches. Stupid nigger, I don't even have the courage to message this fucking whores through the app.

Fucking hell, people like you piss me the fuck off. You're all over Jow Forums, reddit, and that shitty """incel""" site. Fuckin' get wrecked you bitch.

Go into therapy. You have some deep issues that you can't solve on your own.

If you make it to 25 as a virgin by anything other than direct choice, you have a mental disorder. Think about this seriously. It's something that 99% of your peers will have just stumbled into by that point, and we all know how stupid most of them are.

It's not the game or women or the other men. It's your cerebral malfunction.

Those few sad 30+ virgins are so far removed from normal human experience on the matter that they will never be able to approach sex or relationships healthily. Unless they've got some specialized skill or other advantage, it'd honestly be better to conscript them or cull them or something.

Your life is up to you. The clock is going to tick regardless of how much you whine. Don't make excuses. No one but you cares to hear them.

Yes.

it's not a mental disorder, it's a social disorder. mating is a social event, not a personal one. societal change can lead to mass quantities of men not getting laid that if born 30+ years before they were would have scored fine.

I don't get it.

Nevermind then, I just know how seeing perfect models everywhere can fuck people up

You need to stop being a failed normie who thinks fornication is virtuous. Incel is a meme because you can literally pay for sex which is what some losers do who are insecure about their virginity. What you want is a proper relationship which you confuse for wanting a concubine since you've been convinced falling in love is impossible either for you due to personal traits or for anyone in modern society.

its funny when the west has their very own pariah caste suddenly

this made it even worse for me

This 100%

Bullshit can start making sense to you once you if you're constantly surrounded with it.

Watch the Matrix. Realize that the way incels abused the term red pill doesn't match up with the red pill in the Matrix. Learn that the actual reality of things is that humans are not so different from each other, and that this is the true red pill. And from there you can actually start bonding.

God damn it, you fucking idiot, thinking hurr sex will fix everything is 99% of the problem. FUCK OFF.

You naive little fool. As if social interaction is uninvolved with mental process.