My dad has made it really obvious he dislikes my boyfriend, it’s super uncomfortable...

you know why? because Dad was naive and thought you might actually marry the girl, but of course you faggots are just serial monogamists so you all break up and now his daughter is a worthless whore.

That’s crazy. Because I just want him to be normal him, and us to have a normal family dynamic. I think my boyfriend being quiet/not typically masculine (to my dad he’s masculine) and from the city (If you’re not familiar with New York, we live on Long Island like 2 hours away from NYC while my boyfriends from the city) are the things that bother him the most and they’re just such dumb things to dislike. I dunno maybe your right maybe it’ll pass though but it’s just gonna be so awkward all summer and I can tell my boyfriend is starting to get irritated with him because the last time we were there my dad was being a dick about how my boyfriend dressed and my boyfriend just got up and walked out. I have so many nightmare scenarios of them fighting they both have tempers.
You’re projecting mad hard right now. I’m in a committed relationship and I have a normal amount of friends. I barely go out. I don’t know what about a person you know nothing about is getting you so hostile for but it’s really pointless. +no, most humans are not crazy purityfags. You’re the weird one.

Maybe it’s normal then. I guess I should just let it be maybe I’m overthinking

>projecting
Nice buzzword vernacular. You don't even know what projecting means or do you actually believe I have lots of casual sex and obsess over social media?

>I’m in a committed relationship
Are you married? how many "committed relationships" have you been in? How many has he?

> crazy purityfags

Most people, even the most primitive have a strong belief in honoring thy father and they mother. Especially the father, and especially with daughters on matters of sex. You will only find morally retarded people who think otherwise in the west, and even then they are far from the majority.

No man is ever going to be good enough for daddys little princess, so try not to worry.

No man who would ever go near her or who shy would ever go near anyway.

she actually was a whore who cheated on me.
I legit wanted a life with her.

The moment you had sex with her, you both became one flesh. You have had sex with everyone she has had sex with. She has made you an adulterer. You are on the level of murderers in Gods eyes and in the eyes of all who are righteous.

should have picked a better woman or been a better person.

True, you’re right. It’ll probably just take time.
That’s hard. My ex cheated on me too. I don’t know why people don’t just break up if they’re not motivated to be with someone, it creates such trust issueswhen it comes to relationships. I mean I’m pretty much over it now and my bf is a thousand times better but I’m sorry you went through that. Hopefully if you haven’t you find someone amazing. anyone that cheats is a fucking dick/bitch and a coward.

i'mm never understand why you serial monogamists care about infidelity. You are just going to break up and move on to some other cumdump anyway for a few months/years. it's probably just some vestige of morality left over in morally retarded individuals.

>i'mm never understand why you serial monogamists care about infidelity
You don't have to understand, user. It's alright.

You clearly don't care if your partners have been fucking other people because you could care less about virginity. It just seems like some irrational tradition to formally break up before perusing fornication with someone else. You aren't upset they are tired of you. you're just upset they didn't give you the heads up before hand.

Write your Father a letter.

Express yourself clearly and without judgement.

It may not work, it may take time, but at some point you need to understand this is not something you have control over. All you can do is control how you respond.

Staying calm, clear, and determined always goes further.

This is fucking autistic and an insult to the father. The letter shows there is distance between them, the daughter is so rebellious she can't even have a personal conversation with him.

No point in trying to talk about it to someone who admit they'll never understand.

That’s really excellent advice user, I feel like a letter would be a good thing so he could read it and we wouldn’t immediately be confronting each other because I honestly fear just letting it be is gonna lead to them arguing eventually. Plus it’s not as much on a time constraint but we need to start coming from a place a mutual respect, I’m young but not that young I’ll be graduating my from undergrad next year and he’s gotta understand I love him but it’s not his life.
You still having fun? Don’t you have better things to do then attack people trying to give me some genuine advice.

it's a figure of speech. I know exactly why you still hold onto it, it's shame and humiliation. The break up ritual allows you to displace these feelings and rationalize you just fell out of love or some shit and avoid the reality that they don't and never gave a shit about you or your feelings that cheating makes all to clear.

i'm making fun of you for caring about something as significant as infidelity in such a shallow way. Keep trying to gotcha though. It's you who'll never understand the true nature of how horrible adultery really is, because you yourself are an adulterer.

If you are only going to listen to the advice you want to hear you never had any intention of listening at all, you just came to justify yourself to yourself.

Autistic is the inability to place yourself in her Father's perspective.

There is distance already. If a normal conversation worked, that's where it would have ended.

A letter is still personal and allows her Father the chance to view it and internalize it without being able to respond immediately.

She's spoken to her Father about her boyfriend and he won't give clear or constructive criticism. Deciding to go your own way at that point is not rebellious.

>he’s gotta understand I love him but it’s not his life.
are you trying to sound like such a caricature? your posts read like a shitty teen drama. You speak but you don't converse, you're just parroting vapid platitudes and life lessons you learned from pre-teen TV shows, movies and books.

You think "worked" means the father will agree with her. The problem with the scenario is the father is right.

>She's spoken to her Father about her boyfriend and he won't give clear or constructive criticism

she refuses to listen because she can't comprehend that not all of wisdom brings joy.

> Deciding to go your own way at that point is not rebellious
no, it's still entirely rebellious.

You don't even know what I meant by distance. you think emotion and argument means they are distant and not a callous, formal letter that really just says "fuck you dad you are unreasonable i'm doing what I want hope you comes to terms with it! bye!"

It’s really good advice user, I’m gonna take it and I have a feeling he might take it more seriously when I write it out like that. Thank you. I’m just gonna abandon thread now because this troll is obviously sitting here refreshing this thread but everyone’s (legitimate) advice was really helpful and gave me some perspective on the situation but yours in particular was great. thanks guys/girls. have a great day

Is this an advice board, or a "put people down because their life is not as hard as mine uwu" board?

Guess I'll never understand, no clue why you're still harping about it then.

>if people criticize me, it's always because of some freudian inadequacy with their life because I could never do anything wrong!

I pity your father. see you in the next thread talking about problems with the next boyfriend.

It's infested with christbots who are consumed with virtue signalling.

I guess it's easier to deal with being a virgin loser if you convince yourself that you're willingly that way because you're so "righteous" and women and society is unworthy of your holy company lmao.

I agree with you about the Wisdom.

However the letter has to be neither formal or obsinante. As with anything there's an appropriate way for it to be addressed.

>chastising others is virtue signaling
Your vices are not my virtues. You can see this same kind irrational thinking here Your posts are just firing from the hip hoping you'll guess something that will insult someone/make them insecure. You don't actually have any principles. I'm not trying to insult anyone, i'm telling them the truth, at the very least it might create some cognitive dissonance if any cognition is actually going on.

The whole notion that "dad might be right" is advice that's past the overton window is laughable.

The only proper way to address it would have the focus be expressing concern about the ability for the two to communicate and set up a proper talk. The boyfriend shouldn't even be mentioned because the goal should be an attempt at repairing the strained relationship the father and daughter have.

If the letter is just a sentimental ploy for the daughter to get her way with the boyfriend she isn't going to fool dad, she's just going to insult and confuse him.

No, you're not trying to help anyone, nor try to tell "the truth." You are just insulting people to vent your anger at being lonely and a social failure, all while wrapping it up in some fantasy of nobility and virtue.

Basically, you christbots are Elliot Rodgers with a Bible. Your sermons are just sour grapes.

the correct buzzword you wanted was purity spiraling not virtue signaling, I haven't said anything about myself.

You've already tried playing psychologist with this "you just mean because you jelly, no one could really believe things I don't beleive" do you really have no other guesses?

I'm not OP dude

Your "proper" does not necessarily match.

If it's written as a sentimental ploy it'll be a mistake and lead to a more frayed relationship. If it attempts to bridge the divide and find a way forward, a way that respects both views, than it'll have done all it can.

I would agree that the boyfriend should not be mentioned but she's already told her Mother that the boyfriend is the reason for the distance. The Mother will have told the Father. To not mention it would be even worse at that point. It shouldn't be the central theme but it also should not be left as "the elephant".

You're all apart of the same hivemind

>a way that respects both views
Dad isn't looking for appeasement or a middle ground fallacy. Either she convinces him otherwise about the boyfriend which she can't any other way than tricking him because he's obviously right about their relationship, or she follows his advice. Those are the only options. Dad doesn't care that your letter says you agree to disagree, dad cares about his daughter.

her rebellion is the reason for the "distance" (which is a word I guess we're clinging to now)
I'm sure dad isn't opposed to the concept of a boyfriend in general just this manifestation of one. he's worried about how his daughter is turning out in general, the boyfriend is a symptom not the cause, her wanting to be with him in the first place is the issue.

tl/dr
dad is mad his daughter is or more specially has the mentality a vapid whore and wants to salvage what he can. Personally I don't think it's possible at this point judging by OPs comments, But I do hope she gets some of her shit together at least. same for the boy. I know you can't turn a whore into a housewife, don't know if a whoremonger can be turned into a husband.

Buzzword doesn't matter really, intent is the same thing. You want make sure everybody kniws how noble and virtuous you are. If you had any of these qualities though, then you would be doing something to actually help people instead of sitting on the internet and trying to inflict it on people in the most scornful and obnoxious way.

I'm sure you do believe it, doesn't change the fact that it's a psychological crutch, even if you compartmentalize it away from your conscious mind to protect your ego. I don't need any further assurance that I'm right, it's written all over you.

>Dad isn't looking for appeasement or a middle ground fallacy.

You're fixated on your perspective.

> Those are the only options.
You keep repeating this. That's a horribly flawed system of thinking. Forget her for a moment. You need to take some time and look at yourself.

You're right about much of what you've said, but you have a serious underlying problem with your thought process. It's going to come back to haunt you in your own life. I'm not attempting to shame you or lecture you. Take it as passing advice or don't.

Thanks for contributing.

>You want make sure everybody kniws how noble and virtuous you are

I haven't said anything about myself. I'm not talking about nobility or virtue, i've only been pointing out vices. A lack of a vice is not a virtue, and I haven't espoused any lack of vice.

All really is jaundiced to the yellow eye. It's sad you really think you are living the ideal life and thinking the ideal way. You really think I have "sour grapes" about being stressed i'm in a relationship my father doesn't approve of?

>You keep repeating this

because i'm not a relativist. The option of the girl being right is impossible due to the nature of their relationship. At worst Dad is right for the wrong reasons. My lens doesn't matter, you also can't rhetoric your way into me taking you seriously, I know the general tactics. Compliments, arguments veiled as genuinely concerned and non-confrontational (it's insulting you think I will not consider you if you are attempting to shame/lecture me, I care if the shame/lecture is warranted)

I know you won't listen OP but from my own experience, one day you'll have to admit to yourself your dad was right about your bf.

And when that day comes dad will be totally wrong about the new one.

You cannot know that but I knew you wouldn't listen, I didn't.

However, you've made your choice so I don't understand why you are concerning yourself with what your dad thinks or how he may feel. Make the clean break from your dad and have no contact with him. Your bf is all you need.

OP abandoned the thread it’s just people debating now.

It was a joke. I'm not OP. OP is either lurking or naively writing a letter thinking it will fix all her problems. And her big problem is she wants her dad to tolerate her boyfriend and stop bothering/preventing their relationship/embarrassing them. she doesn't care if he actually accepts him.

You are one fucking retarded kid. Leave your bullshit and religious bias where it belongs to be, in the trash. It has nothing to do with reality or any situation described by anyone.

I haven't said anything about myself either. What makes you think that I believe my own life or mode of thinking to be ideal?

Why should she? She's an adult and has autonomy and agency over her own life.

because you think pre-modernist values are so far passed the overton window that no one could genuinely believe them. I don't think you are being disingenuous and don't actually think what i'm saying is anathema, i just know you're a bad person.

youtube.com/watch?v=BLPM-P7mNQw

>I’m an adult and I need to make him understand my boyfriends not going anywhere and this is my life
As an adult you should realize that your father is not obligated to approve of your bad choices, and realistically your boyfriend probably isn't going to be around as along as you think.

Stop clogging this board with your non-problems, stupid thot.

Haha you don't know anything about me.
I'm from rural Tennessee bud, raised southern Baptist. I'm surrounded by people with "pre-modernist" values, and they believe them so genuinely that some of them will relate to you personal conversations that they had with God that morning, as he were an imaginary friend. Traditional religion may be a novelty or some form of contrarian escapism in the cities and centers of liberal opinion, but where I'm from, it's pretty much assumed that everyone is religious and bigoted.

I could care less if you think I'm "bad person" (really infantile way of putting that, btw.) Every non-cult member is human trash to a christbot, the weight of their judgement falls on 95% of the human race, but at least it's light. A mild nuisance, like having a fly land on you. Buzz buzz.

Find out what is bothering him.

Is this your first boyfriend?
Does your dad knows you're not a virgin?
Describe your bf relationship with your dad please.

Attached: murica.jpg (920x783, 141K)

>her dad is obviously right!
How the everliving fuck did you draw this conclusion? What actual evidence do you have that this is the case? Going by what we have in the thread, it seems like the father is being extremely disrespectful to his daughter and is unwilling to engage in any meaningful dialogue about the subject.

This is most likely a very well executed exercise in trolling OP, who isn't quite sharp enough to see it or even call the bullshit properly. This whole time you've been giving (You)s to these rants about morality when you should be ignoring them.

>protestant
>modernist
pick one.

I'm not preaching gospel. i'm not even christian. Logos is Logos regardless of the source. All you've told me is you subscribe to the "don't judge me!!" modernist mantra and that you really hate Christians who keep telling you to get your shit together. You are mentally inept, morally retarded and spiritually dead. You are a bad person-- objectively, not in anyone's opinion.

I wish I could go back to Christianity. I just feel a lot of them are fakers

not-modernist*

The protestant revolution was the first major step into the "enlightenment" era whose fruits are modernity.

OP here’s some real ass advice for you:
Sometimes especially this one where the family dynamic must be changed or you’re trying to change a persons point of view it almost always never works unless the person with the wrong opinion wants to change it
The best answer to this is to work around this problem
So maybe try and find times when dad is around but your mom is and come to the house with your bf then
Hope this helps

The hypocrisy or disingenuousness of religious people doesn't invalidate the truth of the religion itself. It is just a redflag as it shows the religion is bearing rotten fruit.

>real talk just avoid the problem
lmao

And there it is.

Buzz buzz, christcuck.

>y-your just a nuisance! I bet it makes you really mad you don't make me upset!
>i don't know the difference between theology and religion

user I don't care how much you tip that fedora, you're still going to be a bad person whether the big bad Christians tell you so or not. The wages of sin is death, and you are certainly earning your wage.

Lmao jokes on you, I'm a gnostic who reads Spinoza.

Keep thinking that you are some kind of special know it all who is on to some kind of secret though, dummy.

Buzz buzz.

>pissing off your parents while theyre supporting you in college

you have your whole adult life to ruin things for yourself. for now you should do what your parents want and say thanks for helping you get through school.

dump the "boyfriend" and focus on graduating.

>gnostic
oh going maximum special snowflake fedora tipper. Couldn't settle for Buddhism or some shit. This is virtue signaling.

what kind of gnostic do you identify as? (identify because you aren't actually gnostic,)

You could call me a Buddhist and toaist too if you want to but I don't really identify as anything. I believe is some Buddhist principals but I am opposed to empty rituals and the pollution of the philosophy that occurred through the concept of reincarnation becoming literalized. I don't believe in the gnostic cosmological shit either. But gnosticism is full of useful metaphors for what I do believe as the godhead comes closest to what I believe God truly is and the demiurge is a useful metaphor for the anthropomorphisation of the Divine and mythological characters like the judeo-christian God who are depicted as insane because they are really just the human ego projected onto the Divine nature, which is why worshipping such beings leads to religious zealotism and self serving ego-centric behavior that disguises itself as rightousness.

If I had a Bible I suppose it would be Spinoza's 'The Ethics' and tao de ching mixed together.

Because this guy is supposed to be “the one” and her shithead father is fucking it up.

Tldr

I don't know your dad or you. Your dad might be scared of Daddy's Little Girl relying on another man. Maybe he does realize that your bf is a mistake or you're too serious with him. Have a talk with him. If he cares about you, he should be able to explain why he's shows disdain if you approach in the correct manner.

You type, and most likely behave, like an idiot. I wouldn't like you.

Every girl who has brought me home to dad has led me to this experience. Dated her for 3.5 years and even had a successful ldr college situation for two of those years. Her dad called me his son, bragged on me, dropped the whole "I will kill you thing" after he realized who I was. Then she decided to treat me badly, most likely started cheating on me, lying to everyone, getting bad grades, get drunk off her ass every weekend, etc. She realized her major didn't make her happy, that she can't be fulfilled having sex with only one human in her lifetime, and that she no longer wanted a marriage or the life she had been explicitly stating she wanted. After we broke up, he thought I was the issue, but now he calls and texts me from time to time asking to take his daughter back. He'll probably never live to see grandchildren. Fuck that stupid bitch.

You need to leave, faggot. This is terrible advice and religion is not required not desired, even for most people who try to live good, honest lives. Here's your (You).

Some individuals such as myself have actually felt committed love, such as the feeling of utter care for another individual without the implication of inherent reward, in long term relationships without marriage. My ex felt the same way for a few years before she got hit with the college girl meme, then it was a slow cancer. I never wavered, and was too patient. Troll.

You haven' felt "committed love" you are just part of the common filth, you can't live a good or honest life when you are morally retarded you don't understand the severity of your sin, you don't even know when what yo are doing is wrong, and infact, confuse most vices for virtues like a typical redditor.

"we were committed until she just stopped being committed because she loved being a college slut more than being with me" lmfao nice commitment. If you were committed you would have gotten married and stayed married. All you were were masturbation tools for each other. Love is a two way street, you were never in love with someone who didn't love you.

Why is everyone jumping to the conclusion that the father is right about the boyfriend when we literally have no info on the dude whatsoever?

Because all we need is the girl to know she is foolish. Her writing style alone makes this painfully obvious.

You're so radical, I geniunely hope it's trolling. We were both planning on getting married, and she talked about how exciting that it was for her. She made quilts in anticipation for our future house and would talk about how she couldn't wait to start making baby clothes. Then, she became an alcoholic and lost HER values. If all that I did was use her as a fuck tube, then her dad wouldn't love me like he still does six months after the relationship ended. She realized that she didn't want to be married because she was "liberated" by the college meme and let things die terribly instead of being honest with both her and myself.

I shit you not, you're ruining this thread. I'm even tempted to think that you are OP who made this thread just to troll it. Let the girl get actual advice, she deserves it even if she's stupid.

We can all tell by your autistic sermonizing that you've never touched a woman in your life so what should we expect you to know about love anyway?

Buzz buzz, Christ cadet.

I mightve liked this thread had u ended it with “Also i’m gay.”

an intellectual

I don't care about your venting of how some slut dumped you once she was board of you. You accuse me of giving terrible advice when you are trying to hijack the thread with your own anecdotes.

"i hate god!! you must be a virgin reeeee"
still upset no one bothered to read your "i'm a unique individual my "spirituality" is complex! post?

I am trying to explain to you that you're not always correct about people. I literally didn't do shit except be unlucky enough to make plans of marriage with an eventual alcoholic. Come out of the mental state that you're in. I know that you're trying to piss me off, but realize that you're so irrational that many people have focused on your problems instead of OP's. This thread isn't for you.

I know for a fact that you're a virgin. You can deny if you want to, but then you'd be a sinner.
Assuming you mean the character Jehovah, I can't hate a being that doesn't exist. It would be like hating Hercules or Baron Samedi.
I typed that post because you asked me what I believed. It's not my problem if you lack the attention span to read it, although I doubt you have anything else better to do.

>I am trying to explain to you that you're not always correct about people

I can only work with what you give me, and you have given me more than enough. You literally can't stop telling us about the thot who dumped you. Now she's an alcoholic.

>dindu nuffin
you are a fornicator who spits on the reality of love by rationalizing that the shallow relationship you were in was more than what it really was.

Go make your own thread. I'm not trying to make you upset, you just default to this assumption to deflect away from the reality of the situation. Not everyone who chastises or laughs at you is not being serious or "projecting" You really are at fault.

>Come out of the mental state that you're in
>stop making me feel bad for being a bad person

>many people have focused on your problems instead of OP'
sounds like your jealous

I believe standard female protocol here is to have sex with a black guy

>Assuming you mean the character Jehovah,
You aren't fooling anyone. This is cringe worthy. You're obviously fronting like every boring "spiritual but not religious" person who want's to project themselves as "deep and cultured"
>i'm a gnostic but don't believe in the abrahamic God
lmfao

I know you're joking, but I don't think he's jealous. He is trying to point out that your autism is so raging that you have been singled out as the most pathetic person ITT and the thread is now more about your bullshit than it is about OP.

To be honest I wanted to hate you at first but I kind of feel sorry for you because you remind me of myself when I was 14.
I hope you grow out of it but you have to admit there's a problem before you can make a change.

This. You need to make it clear that you want to be with him and you will he whether he likes it or not. But don't write off his concerns just because you disagree with him. He's your dad, he probably has your best interests at heart, at least in his mind

Fuck that!

I met a girl of higher social living than my family. Her family was so nice to me, then I had her over for dinner to meet my parents and my fucking dad actually made her cry in the middle of dinner.
Being that her and her family were so very social, we broke up because her family wanted to have my family over and we just couldn’t see that as being a good thing.

Have not talked to my dad in years...

>why aren't you a relativist like me!! stop caring about what other people do it doesn't affect you!!!

>To be honest I wanted to hate you at first but I kind of feel sorry for you because you remind me of myself when I was 14.

You are really getting desperate with these tropes. "actually i feel sorry for you! because I was like you before I GREW UP" Stop regurgitating what you think are clever things to say when you think you are in an argument and just write what you actually think, if you think anything at all.

Like I said, it's not my fault if you didn't read my post. I don't take any mythology literally, gnosticism just contains useful metaphors.
Also, are you trying to imply that the abrahimic God is the Monad?
If anything, he would he the demiurge.

I'm not fronting anything. If you think that I'm boring that's fine, I think you're boring too. At least I think for myself, all you've done is fall in line.

>pick the temporary boyfriend over your Dad.
Hope he just disowns and/or honor kills her desu.

>Also, are you trying to imply that the abrahimic God is the Monad

holy shit you can't stop yourself. I didn't imply anything. I made it clear that the gnostics believe the abrahamic god exists. It isn't the philosophical "everything is allegorical and we aren't actually superstitious" pseudo-intellectual wet dream you think it is.

The irony is that you think I just want to sound clever and you can't even tell that I'm being perfectly sincere.
It's not really about growing up so much as growing out.
Everything I write is what I think. I think it, then I write it. I assumed that it worked like that for everyone.

>The irony is that you think I just want to sound clever
I know you are, every post you make is a non-sequitur so you can brag about "reading a wikipedia article on gnosticism"

If you want to picky then I am not a literal gnostic.
I believe in a conscious substance that is infinite, indestructible, and indivisible, one that is everything and everywhere at once, omnipresent and omniscient. This concept is similar to the gnostic conception of the Monad.
I also believe that there is a sort of quasi-entity that exists in the collective consciousness, born of the ego, who feeds on suffering and negativity. This being is similar to the demiurge and tradional old-world gods and some gnostics did believe that the demiurge was literally yaweh, but not all of them.
I am aware that literal gnosticism is not the same as what I believe.

I hope that was short enough for you.

If you think that's all I base my beliefs on that that's your problem; I've already said more than you're willing to read. I can't make a horse drink.