>go out on date with girl >goes well, we hit it off >hold her hand on way back home, she doesn’t mind >as she’s rushing to her buss I pull her back for a second and kiss her >we kiss for 5 seconds before she pulls away, really blushing hard >says bye and leaves >get on my bus and tease her by sending her a text saying how red she was >she responds back like an hour later saying “haha I was completely unprepared” >feeling a little cocky text her back saying “But you kinda liked it ;D” >no response
I mean she is a pretty bad responder, like it takes her hours but I really like this girl and I don’t know if I’m being an autist and overthinking it, was it too much? Was she not interested? Was the emoji a little too gay or something? I thought girls liked being teased.
Bear in my mind all of this is pretty new to me so if anyone here can lay it down it would be appreciated.
Also just to be clear l’m not some clingy, needy double texter type. Like trust me I know how to take a hint and I know how to move on from a girl if she’s not interested. But this one kind of baffles me considering we hit it off so well.
I took a japanese bish to a state fair once. Took her by hand feelsgoodman Won her plushie Food’d Ride’d >o hey i can expect a goodbye kiss now Get her an uber, go in for kiss >YAMETE.jpeg
Yeah it was awkward. Couldnt text her after that really. Point is i shouldnt have assumed i could kiss her, specially not being that she was a foreigner. But it probably was salvageable after that, i was just too embarassed.
Idk do whatever u want, just read the situations better next time. & dont say stupid self affirming shit like that last line u texted her
Ryder Foster
Damn I didn’t actually mean it like you actually sort of liked it but more like how say kinda in everyday situations but yeah I guess it was, whoops
Bentley Green
seems fine
Liam Garcia
>she is a pretty bad responder, like it takes her hour
>I’m being an autist and overthinking it Yes.
But also, avoid surprise kissing people. Even if they’re in to you, it’s always a shock (I speak from experience in both directions)
Jacob Thompson
>“But you kinda liked it ;D” You where probably ok until this. You don't tell others how to feel. It's a coinflip if she's ok with it or if you really messed up.
Andrew Gonzalez
So is it salvageable? Or did I completely ruin my chances?
Oliver Bennett
Kissing on the first date is a big surprise but to me it seems you didn't fuck up horribly
Aaron Bennett
>I’m being an autist and overthinking it Yes. Chill, wait, see what happens.
Grayson Cruz
So what’s the fine line then? People always tell me to be confident and assertive but it seems I kinda went overboard with this one.
Owen Rodriguez
this is just my opinion, but i think it takes some balls to pull the whole thing off. now you either win it all or lose it all, you'll see. my guess is that if she's interested, she liked it and you'll hear from her soon enough. if she isn't, you saved yourself time. win-win.
Cooper Scott
How do you make it not be a surprise?
Bentley Sanders
Don't know, it's one or the other but if she's still interested she'll get in touch with you.
Joseph Sullivan
Ask. Or if want to be the confident and assertive type tell her that you want to kiss her, but don't do it until she lets you know it's ok.
Jordan Price
>too aggressive Yes
Dominic Allen
Ignore dis fag OP youre doing fine
Camden Diaz
So what’s an ideal way to act on a date then? I wouldn’t of kissed her if she didn’t respond to me holding her hand which she was okay with. And if I’m too hands off I feel like it would of been passive and beta.
Jordan Bennett
>Ask Really? I'm not OP but I'm going on a second date with a girl later and I keep having awkward date-endings where the girl is clearly waiting for something but I pussy out. I actually texted the girl I'm seeing tonight after our last date that I got nervous when I dropped her off and guess I didn't weird her out. But now I want to make sure that if this is the last time we see each other (out of our control) that I don't pussy out again. But asking to kiss seems very weird. On one hand I've already shown that I get nervous so it's probably not the most unexpected thing I could do but I feel like it ruins the moment. I've never even kissed a girl so I'm worried I'll fuck it up. Also this may seem dumb but last time I dropped her off at an apartment complex (couldn't walk to her door) so I didn't get out of my car but she stayed in it for a bit before getting out and I didn't know if I should have leaned all the way over my center console to kiss her.
Angel Cox
Actually, when and how are you supposed to kiss her when you're on a date? Should I always expect her to make the first move or is there some kind of signal that can let me know?
Dylan Perez
I mean... the ask thing the other user said works too and is reasonable depending on the person (some are more conservative/flighty about physical contact than others)
But there’s always this moment where you’re looking in to each others eyes and things just feel kind of fidgety, like there’s all this tension and heat in the air and it’s becoming thicker and thicker until it almost feels palpable. Eventually things just get close and closer until it’s like you’re both In a vacuum where nothing else exists and you just kind of get sucked in together.
That’s a good—almost movie quality—kiss and it’s about the environment and the setting.
If you can’t learn to recognize that sort of scenario, default to asking because apparently, you currently lack the social experience and intuition to see things yet.
Jaxon Rogers
>she gets on bus >you text her >she doesn't respond for an hour >she doesn't respond to your reply at all Not looking good
Ayden Jones
She’s a really fucking slow responder but regardless of that I think I blew it anyway, so what do I do now? I’m thinking I just ask her on Thursday if she wants to go out Friday or Saturday and if she still doesn’t respond then I cut my losses and move on. Or should I just not contact her at all?
Hudson Brooks
>She’s a really fucking slow responder Yeah, because she was super busy and had so many other things to do when she got on the bus, right?
>I’m thinking I just ask her on Thursday if she wants to go out Friday or Saturday and if she still doesn’t respond then I cut my losses and move on. That's fine. You have nothing to lose.
Liam Peterson
Sometimes you just have to do what feels right. It's a date, not a math test.
Cameron Ortiz
Man girls are always on their phone, like it took me 3 days to set it up a date because she takes 4 - 12 hours to respond. And she seemed into me when we finally met but whatever I guess it’s pointless to debate this hypothetical
Anthony Howard
You should probably not go for kisses on the first date. It's too risky a move, most of us don't like kissing until the second or so anyways
>like it took me 3 days to set it up a date because she takes 4 - 12 hours to respond. They don't want to appear 'easy' and want to see if you are desperate enough to immediately write back all the time.
>I’m thinking I just ask her on Thursday if she wants to go out Friday or Saturday and if she still doesn’t respond then I cut my losses and move on. Or should I just not contact her at all? I'd just wait a week or so and see if she replies. By kissing her, she might think that you are all over her. By not contacting her for a week or so, she will lose that impression. If you go from full thrust to no contact for a little time, you'll confuse her and it'll keep her interested.
John Sanchez
A week? I mean I will but I met this girl like 4 days again and we barely texted before meetings. Are you sure she won’t completely lose interest? Also when I do respond do I just play it off like nothing happened?
Austin Phillips
Nah don't listen to that guy, your meaning was 100% clear to anyone without autism
Landon Lee
bullshit, a kiss is a perfect ending if the date is going well
Juan Nguyen
>I met this girl like 4 days again and we barely texted before meetings. She doesn't know you from a bag of potatoes and you're surprised that a) she doesn't respond to your texts and b) that she didn't seem to take you kissing her well?
James Price
I disagree. On some level it could come across as arrogant. Having said that, girls seem to respond well to cocky arrogant guys. He took a chance, took the lead and was unafraid of rejection. She could just be shy
Juan Jenkins
Again the whole not responding to texts thing is that either she actually isn’t interested anymore or she’s just being herself and taking forever to text.
Yeah the kiss was a surprise, but she kissed back and it seemed like the right thing to do, yeah it was arrogant and assuming but I’m always reading conflicting reports about how either I should be assertive and confident or laid back and passive, at least on the first date.
By the way guys I know I said I like this girl but it’s not gonna get to me if she doesn’t respond I don’t care, this entire thread is more about learning how to not be an autist.
Camden Hernandez
But why? If it's a good date with someone you like, it's worth saving for the second date. Girls that kiss on the first date probably aren't looking for anything serious. It will most likely put you in a favorable light with her too. I got a really sleazy vibe from guys that try to kiss me right away, and my current bf and I didn't kiss until date two when we knew we liked each other a bit more, so our first was that much more special.
It just depends, it it’s right on the first date then fine, if it’s not then wait for it. There isn’t some formula on when to kiss, either it happens naturally whenever it comes, or you ask or you just go in for it
Leo White
Femanon here--I think it all sounds sweet. Relax, she's probably trying not to seem overly eager. Breathe.
Hudson Howard
Well maybe, but my point is why take the risk? Kissing on the first date Is a risk without that much of a reward. Like unless the stars align and it would be more awkward not to, you're more likely to leave a better impression by holding off.
>Was the emoji a little too gay or something? Yes, but women like that kind of thing, get used to being a fag
Austin Watson
OP you did fine but you need to learn to stop while you are already ahead. One victory lap is enough. Get the fuck away from your phone for awhile and let her process.
Lincoln Wood
First kiss is best done at the end of the date it makes things a lot less awkward for you both. Yes there are many signs she's ready big one is her looking at your lips a lot
Cameron Baker
Was gonna say the same thing, the playing hard to get thing is real kids
Luke Moore
I’m thinking of doing what the other user said mentioned earlier in the thread and just no contact her for like a week, then see what happens. What do you suggest?
James Ramirez
Not going to finish reading the entire thread, so apologies if this is repetitive.
The devil is in the details. Your posts come across as you've been reading up on PUA, and you're not half bad at what you're doing.
tldr it's fine. Her not responding to the last one isn't necessarily bad.
I agree on the posters who point out the 'kinda'. More important, you could've expressed about the same idea, without stating her current emotions for her. This is more safe to do face to face, namely because facial expressions are an important part of communicating emotions, especially when you're teasing. It makes her able to read a smirk, and you'll be able to dedect how she's reacting to it, which in turn gives you thw opportunity to salvage, in case it doesn't go down well. When in doubt, never tell her anything over text that might be taken as shaming. Teasing is good, but at this stage you shouldn't corner her. You should always provide a way out.
>haha I was completely unprepared >aw, I bet you won't be next time
This is implying she liked it enough for there to be a next time, and also gives her reasons to think about a future date - which is more powerful than simply questioning the moments past.
Dylan James
all girls I've been witj have literally been asked "can I kiss you" lsst time, it was a friend of a few years, so I said >you know I've always wanted to kiss you right? >"i actually didn't user" >well, you know now. can I? >"well not really" >well, ok, but don't let it ruin our friendship. I wanted to be close to you one way or another, because I think you're great and we could have a good friendship fast forward, we fucked the following week(and she puked on my johnson unfortunately)
according to her, that wasn't part of the plan when she set up our "date". but she said she ended up wanting because of my honesty, and the way I said it was ok if she didn't want it anyway just be honest bro, bitches love that shit
Nathan Davis
Whenever men tell me that I enjoyed something and use emojis, I laugh in my head and remind myself that he's just tryna for the pussy. How would you know if I liked that? Especially on a first date? Yuck. The kiss is fine! Your text about it, not.
Charles Wood
Guys...
This.
Unless you got something stuck in your teeth, this is a 100% failsafe way of telling. First if all, you don't ask girls for anything, you either tell them what you want, or you tell them they can have what you know they want.
>the formula Eye contact when standing close. If she doesn't look at your lips first, you can look at hers. If she doesn't mimick you, cancel and go for the hug. If she looks at your lips, and then up at your eyes again (for approval), look her in the eyes for another 2-3 seconds, then back down at her lips for 1-2 seconds. Back up to her eyes. If she looks down at your lips a second time, it's most definitely on.
Eier move in, but let her meet you. Lean in about 80-90% of the way, and let her lean the remaining 10%, or Tell her "it's alright, you can kiss me if you want to"
I usually do the latter. It has never failed. When you do this depends on the moment, but it doesn't have to be at the end of the date. Waiting until the next date is risky, because it gives her time to question your intent and assertion - but again, if she doesn't follow the formula stated above, it's not the right moment. Create a new one.
Sebastian Ortiz
Wow, you must be a whore.
Logan Carter
I’m really not trying to just sleep with her, I was just making a cocky joke, I see what you’re saying tho
Jaxson Ortiz
Try to stop planning ok. Your spontaneity worked with the kiss so let go and stop trying so hard. I promise she's going over this in her head, baffled it happened (something from a movie in her head), but don't keep trying to get positive feedback for your own ego. Relax, you did good already, she'll respond she just doesn't want to seem too eager and neither should you.
