The Thought Of Killing

sounds odd, and maybe a bit disturbed. im sorry you’re going through a difficult time. I can’t promise you that everything is going to be okay, but I assure you that things can get better.

i guess a better question is to ask, how do i hide it and make others think that i feel like they do.

Most are the same way if its some random person or some fuck off the TV etc. Same way most people don't have any particularly strong feelings towards reading about Palestine or school shootings (those close to it not included, obviously). Most are aware its some horrid shit but most won't lose any sleep over it.

Do you still feel nothing if you think about doing something horrific to say, your mother? Or someone you're close to?

Just shrug and say bad shit happens if somethings brought up. What're you going to do, time travel and fix it? Become a vigilante?

that’s probably not something you need to do. you could most likely use some kind of counseling or mentorship to reconnect with your humanity again.

do you lash out?

i more or less dont feel anything if it happened to anyone whether i do it or another does it. like the feeling of straggling someone wont faze me at all or the death of people close to me wont provoke any strong emotions

no, i try to act normal and act like people around me

maybe pretending not to have a problem isn’t working so well.

and it doesn’t help that a lot of people’s reactions to you opening up about your issues would be negative.

that’s why I said, specifically, to try finding a counselor or mentor figure, someone who wants to learn about you and offer guidance.

This.
Definitely become a vigilante.

But really, if u feel this way OP, i’d bet that u’ve been this way all your life. And as such, asking normies about non-normie problems will give u no answers.

Just accept yourself as normal in & of yourself, and teach yourself how to effectively Act, so that people don’t hate you for not feeling the same as they do.
Again it’s really not a problem, unless you ask a normie. So then where does the real problem lie? Well so long as you don’t wig out and do something stupid & proveable in court, not in your lap.

You’re fine. U dont have to justify yourself. Dont wonder about it anymore.

but what if they log it and that prevents me from doing things and possibly has a negative effect in the future like if it was leaked or they told people about it?

How old are you, OP? This is important.

i turned 18 recently

>the normie/robot philosophy
yeah, right. why don’t you hit him with some alpha/beta stuff while you’re at it. any false dichotomy that can take focus away from the specifics of his real situation.

you can ask for help without explicitly stating you have homicidal thoughts. there’s probably a lot of problems that are causing the homicidal feelings, and that’s what ought to be addressed.

Sometimes I feel homicidal when I’m really scared or hurt.

Okay people, thread over. He's literally just an edgy teenager. Knew it before he even replied, lord almighty.

You'll feel differently in a couple years.

Why dont u project a little more? Normie refers to more than just normie-robot matters these days. Update your memes. U are a normie in relation to what I posted & what OP posted, so there’s your example. Now fuck off.

but yeah, do practice caution. plenty of state processes exist that will fuck you over.

basically avoid inpatient hospitalization or talking to a police officer, unless you *actually find yourself plotting to kill someone* (which most likely won’t happen).

I’m thinking you could use some good old fashioned mentorship, counseling, guidance etc. esp considering you’re 18.

the word normie existed way before robots ofc. Im able to tell what you meant, and I think you’re leading OP blind by telling him not to try to improve his circumstance and to neglect the advice of any and all “normies”.

i have to say, making this tread has helped highlight somethings to me, despite the skeptics, and will be booking a visit with a doctor, but which type do you guys think would be best?

Because you're thinking about it. Not doing it. You're one on those that just *needs* something wrong with you aren't you?

elaborate

doctor? a PsyD who specializes in counseling.

kid, you don't need a doctor, what you need is time to grow up and i mean that in the nicest possible way. see a doctor if you really feel you must but theres nothing wrong with you, you've only just turned 18, its a time where many are literally fucked up in the head - all the hormones, the fresh young mind pathways forming etc. its like the creation of the earth, this huge cataclysmic event that was pure chaos until it settled and life began to form. the life forming is you growing up and finding yourself.

Ur response here is reasonable so i’ll reason with u a bit further.
Ive felt similarly to OP since i was a child, though I understood that it was generally seen as “not-okay” to express these things. I don’t dwell on those kinds of feelings, I don’t act on them, and I know that the only trouble occasionally considering such could bring would come if I was ever dumb enough to divulge such information to someone. I’m sure there’s plenty of people like me.
So I disagree fully when I see people admit such and see the others try to tell them that XYZ is wrong with them, because as someone who relates, i know that A) the admitter will Never change, and B) the adviser will never fully relate. So it’s not worthwhile for any party involved. U see what i’m saying?
OP just has to fit in, and everyone else will be fine with him.

it’s important not to think in extremes. ofc thinking of killing someone is not unusual, especially for a 18 y/o male, but it’s not a sign that everything peachy.

neither is feeling numb when people die, though I suspect maybe even the majority of wagecucks are at that level of burnt out.

he didnt specify who was dying though. its normal to feel little to nothing if its not anyone you know or its some situation in bumfuck nowhere half the world away.

if he was talking about a close family member though then yes, i'd agree, something would be wrong there.

I agree. I’m saying that, if OP is feeling unhappy enough to think about killing, maybe he should talk to someone about feeling unhappy.

I totally agree with you that mentioning the killing part explicitly is a bad idea. Conformists, in the form of state workers or ‘medication naive’ shrinks, can definitely do damage to OP.

gotta go now.

id actually recommend a mentor sort of figure before a psychologist, but one thing about psychologists is that they’re relatively dependenable.

peace, all.

Here's a protip about real life: Most people don't care about the death of others as much as they say they do.

This isn't the case when someone dies who is very close to you, but in more cases than not people act like they feel more sad over a death than they really do because it's how we are "supposed" to behave or because they've been conditioned that way.

OP doesn't sound like he has anything wrong with him, he just sounds like the average young person who hasn't had anyone close to their heart die. There's nothing wrong with that. The first important death comes for us all eventually and life is a little less scary beforehand.

This is why the military prefers to enlist people when they're 18~19, because they haven't had those close-to-home experiences that force them to comprehend death on a personal level.

Of course he’s unhappy, he’s irregular & lonely, and no amount of counseling will ever change that. Only coming to terms with one’s own self on an honest and productive level will ever make him happy, and while one could definitely argue that some counseling/guidance etc would help that, I say that he might as well learn how to shoulder his own burdens Now.

Shine on u crazy diamond.

most people you and I know are numbed out wagecucks, including people in the military

Sorry, I'm not going to take you seriously if you're using the term "wagecucks". And I'm definitely not a wage slave.

You're not much better than OP, looking for reasons for something that really just boils down to human nature.

not him but i dont see how being a wagecuck is relevant? just because a person works 9-5 and isn't rich does not suddenly make them into emotional voids without empathy. shit, some people even enjoy their dead end jobs.

to be sure, you will get burnouts who go full purge mode and shoot up their office, but the majority of people arent like that and i dont agree with your assessment that everyone who is a wagecuck is numbed to horrific shit.

>Only coming to terms with one’s own self on an honest and productive level
that reads like a therapist’s bio.

though I wasn’t specifically suggesting therapy. I’ve found more help by interacting with people in an organic way.

you might not believe in OP’s improvement but that’s fine. ppl tell themselves what they need to. I don’t necessarily think OP will miraculously heal, but I don’t believe in giving up on life and personal growth.

Pink Floyd is good but very morbid

you guys are hung up with semantics and looking to argue.

its ok. I already gave OP advice, while all the other men in this thread did the old fashioned “buck up” thing

>is there any reason why i dont feel anything?
Yeah because it's a meaningless hypothetical that will 99.9999999% likely never happen. Unless you think it's actually gonna happen why would just thinking about it make you feel bad?

holy fuck i just came back and now theres so much more shit wtf

thats because "buck up" is what he needs to do. hes young and not fully formed, everything hes feeling is a normal part of being a teenager. going on about how "wagecucks" are numb to death is just fucking retarded and pretty much invalidates everything you've said as worthless trash.

it may also be helpful for me to state that i have Asperger

then for the love of christ its even MORE normal for you to be feeling the way you do or lack of feeling even, you're literally wired in such a way as to be clueless to a lot of emotions those without aspergers feel. i take back everything else i've said in the thread, because that changes things. go see someone who can help you manage yourself.

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