I have been dating a girl >about 8cm/3inch taller than me for almost a year. Things have mostly been going quite smoothly and we have never brought up the height difference. I personally don't have a problem with our height difference and even enjoy it. I don't don't try to draw attention to it in any way.
We conduct yourself normally in public, holding hands, etc. and she doesn't seem weirded out by it. Nevertheless, I have noticed from the beginning that she slouches or leans on what leg when talking or standing next to me in public. This makes me a bit uncomfortable, because I don't want her to be/feel uncomfortable or embarassed with me.
>Why is she doing this? >What can I do to make her more comfortable? >Should I being this up with her? If so how?
Bend down more then so you are still shorter than her...
She wants to feel that you’re a man and can protect her. She obviously isnt feeling cery secure with your ability right now.
Xavier Ward
>Things have mostly been going quite smoothly and we have never brought up the height difference. I disagree with the other user, her slouching probably means she thinks it may bother you, never mentioning it would reinforce her thought. You did make a thread instead of just talking to her, guy. Talk to her about it, tell her it doesn't bother you and if she doesn't slouch with other people then you might mention that also.
Daniel Cook
>Talk to her about it. >She thinks it might bother you. I understand your reasoning, user. Then again, from what I've read online*, many people seem to recommend just not bringing it up at all. And if I do bring it up, I am worried it might lead to misunderstandings: >I appear insecure (I just want her to be uncomfortable) >I appear fetishising (Aesthetically I do like her height, but it is of course not a me in problem)
*IRL i don't have friends who have been in this situation - girl taller seems rather rare.
She thinks you're embarrassed. Tell her forcefully (but lovingly) that you're not. Nudge her every time you catch her slouching. Let her see you're proud to be with her.
If you think she'd enjoy the joke, point out that everyone you pass thinks "He must be fantastic in bed to catch her."
Christopher Thompson
Thanks user. How can I confirm that she isn't the one embarrassed?
While we joke *a lot*, I'd be worried that such a joke could be perceived as fetishising her.
Joseph Thompson
Honestly OP, I think you’re over interpreting things. I doubt she’s doing it on purpose or because of your height difference, if she’s doing anything at all (i.e., presuming you’re not just imagining things).
Thomas Rivera
>if she is doing it at all She also does it on photos of us. Connected to this, she also mainly wears flats when around me (which I also find unfair towards her).
I am mainly apprehensive about bringing it up, because I don't want to make this a big deal, if it turns out that she is doing it 'to protect herself from embarrassment'. It is more something that bothers me for her sake.
My best friend is dating a guy who is ever so slightly shorter than her and she does the same things your girlfriend does.
She has brought this up in conversation with me and it seems like she's doing it more for her boyfriend than she is for herself. She doesn't seem to want to draw attention to the fact that she's slightly taller, as she assumes he's self conscious about it.
You could try and ask her about it, but if she is worried about your feelings then chances are she will try and avoid answering. Perhaps try and have an open conversation with her, but ultimately the only outcome you could possibly get is her stopping the slouching.
Hunter Bailey
Are you a femanon? I am looking femanon opinions here. My GF us rather non-confrontational in nature, so dodging is a possibility.
My apprehension mainly comes from my reading that women are usually the ones 'obsessing' over such height differences more (I don't know whether it is true). Has she brought it up with her BF? Or has done so?
Isaac Murphy
I have a friend that is really tall for a girl, she's usually the same height or taller than all the boys and she also does that because she is super unconfortable and insecure in her own body, she has talked about it
Tyler Carter
Then don’t bring it up. I still say you’re reading too much into it.
Dylan Sullivan
slap the booty hard and say it 'quit crouch dashing' booty slap is a low crush so it will work 100% good luck
Angel Moore
I might be over thinking...but there seem to be differing opinions here.
Matthew Clark
I've been with my gf for 3 years and it's made me realize many things about women. Mainly that they're not as complex as we think they are, and that communication is the key to any successful relationship. The slouching is one of four things: entirely subconscious, something she does when she's comfortable with people, she's worried that you're concerned about the height difference, or it's something she does around everyone shorter than her. I have a female friend who is 6'8" and she slowly widens her stance until she's at eye level with whoever she's talking to. It's entirely subconscious and looks like she's sitting on an invisible horse for most conversations, and friends of mine who meet her feel uncomfortable even though she means nothing by it.
Talk to your gf about it. Ask if her back is bothering her because you've noticed her slouching. If not ask why she's doing it because it's making you feel insecure about your height. Even if it isn't she'll make efforts to change her posture. Or if you want to keep it lighthearted, next time she's slouching give her a hug and tell her you can feel her boobs more when she stands up straight. If her back is actually bothering her offer a back massage- she'll likely accept since it's been a year already. Have her lay fully clothed and belly down on a couch or bed, take 10 minutes to slowly work from her neck to the hip, then give her ass a smack and say time's up. Don't let things escalate from there. This is one of the few ways you can consistently blue ball a woman, she'll appreciate that you're doing something nice for her without wanting anything in return, and she'll return the favor tenfold.
This should be a non-issue to discuss, if it's difficult for her that's a bit of a red flag that there's something else under the surface that needs to be addressed/worked on.
Dominic Hughes
>communication is the key to any successful relationship Without a doubt. This is can be hard depending on the person you're with.
Whether she slouches with others is hard to tell for me, as I rarely observe her talking to others when I am not present. For now the most likely thing to me seems that she is slouching because she is worried about my feelings (as mentioned). I vaguely remember once asking her how tall she is/why she wears flats so often when we started dating (impolite, I know) and she dodged the question saying she prefers flats in general (which I doubt). I have also joked about it in the past in passing, that slouching isn't healthy. But this didn't seem to have changed it.
>6'8" That's a tall independent of gender. I guess she doesn't have a lot of choice when it comes to taller guys.
>massage I do that in general, as I like giving massages.
Carter Reed
Here's a scary truth for you, OP
If you ask your girl, and if you ask any girl, they'll say she's doing it FOR THE GUY. As in, she doesn't want YOU to feel embarrassed or insecure.
However, you know very well that you aren't embarrassed or insecure about this in the slightest. There is good reason to believe that you also demonstrate this belief non-verbally. As in you don't even act insecure, and there is no reason for her to believe that you are.
The truth is that SHE is insecure. SHE is the one slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed by it. And she slouches, either consciously or unconsciously, for her own insecurities. She projects this insecurity on you. And it's something a lot of women do when dating shorter men. If you ever hear a woman say "Yeah I dated a shorter man, and it just didn't work out. He was insecure about it/made me wear flats/etc," there is a good chance the guy was ok with it and she was the one who did all these things to herself.
Talking to her about this will be the first step in making her believe YOUR the insecure one. I'd recommend doing nothing and saying nothing. It's her own issue and talking about it probably can't help it. Maybe try sweeping her off her feet to make her feel smaller and secured.
Im the same way brah, I love tall/taller women (I'm 6'), its just one of those things that I just find insanely attractive and makes my heart skip a beat when I see a tall beautiful woman. Any /tallgirls/ ITT? Where the fuck do you all hang out, you all are like unicorns where I live
>She wants to feel that you’re a man and can protect her. She obviously isnt feeling cery secure with your ability right now
Think he'd alleviate those feelings if he started lifting and putting on muscle (assuming he doesn't) so that he could at least be strong and look strong despite being short?
Not but I recommend you'd talk to your GF about this issue. Communication is key to a healthy relationship.
Andrew Torres
I wish I could get myself a taller girlfriend. That's total badass.
Jaxson Moore
women, as nurturers, like to get on the level of the one they're speaking to. they also like to seem equal to the one they're standing next to. discord us.
Before i dated her, I wasn't ever aware of these 'height politics'. It's just when some friends called me 'lucky' or mentioned it when they saw photos of us, that I really noticed. Do people notice that much? What do people actually think (people remark, but usually don't say anything)?
>slightly uncomfortable and embarrassed by it As much I like to believe she does it because of her consideration for me (which would make things easier). I somewhat doubt that is completely the case. Especially because i have a naturally smaller frame, but take my confidence from +10 years of martial arts training - I know what I can do when push comes to shove. The point you're making about 'girls projecting their insecurities' is logical to me, although I must say that I've met quite a few guys who say they wouldn't be able to date taller themselves.
>making her feel small I cannot lift her off her feet. With height comes heft. I try to give her this general feeling through small gestures...kissing her forehead, leaning over her during sex, taking charge. From the research I've done on this topic, this feeling of being smaller is apparently still very important to many girls. Possibly also to girls willing to go smaller (like mine), it is only fair for me to do my part.
Op, my 2 cents is do what the anons suggested, which is make a joke at her not to slouch. Shows your confidence and makes light of it, which is the perfect balance here. (I'm a grrl, just sayin cause you wanted grrl opinions)
Tyler Cooper
might not be you, Ive dated really tall girls and theyre just insecure about how tall they are. Kind of like how short guys try to appear taller. Talk with her and let her know you dont mind and she should be confident
John Wilson
I don't know of a irl situation either. I'm ten inches shorter but as you mention its usually that way. If she doesn't slouch with other people then the reasoning is about your dynamic and not that's just how she is. What exactly it is, there's really only one way to know.
Anthony Morgan
As I said here I have done that before early when we started dating. But nothing changed. I waited whether that would change with time and us getting closer. But it didn't.
I have read similar things...but I don't know how tall 5'10" is for a woman. I am surrounded by taller women so that doesn't seem overly unusually tall to me.
So you too suggest addressing it head-on?
Levi Myers
I do the same with my boyfriend but I'm embarrassed about his height, not mine. This way I fool myself into thinking we're of similar height
Julian Johnson
Two options:
1) Make yourself taller. LL surgery is the most extreme option. Wearing lift shoes are more reasonable.
2) Make yourself bigger/stronger. Be visibly muscular af next to your gf.
Keep in mind that your gf doesn't mind your height. If she did, she wouldn't be together with you in the first place. What she minds is feeling uncomfortable around you because of you height, and you not doing anything about it. You're the one who's short, she shouldn't have to accomodate you. You need to do this for her. Figure it out and solve it!
And don't tell her about this stuff, only actions no words.
Sebastian Kelly
>only actions, no words what’s the point of having a relationship if you’re not willing to have clear communication?
Kevin Brown
Has he brought it up to you? Or have you brought it up?
Robert Gomez
So you think my current status is only temporary and she's going to bail if I don't go full manlet?
Jayden Brown
>assuming that it's a femanon that wrote that even though it's super obvious it was a dude
Grayson Morgan
I'm a femanon and I think guys obsess over height just as much as women, maybe even sometimes more. The women who truly obsess over it are usually 4'9 crazy midgets who are shallow and you shouldn't be going for anyway. I've noticed alot of men are insecure about their height.
I'm quite tall and I wouldn't mind if my boyfriend was shorter desu Just talk about it with her, I doubt it'll lead to something harmful. Say you're not insecure and don't want her to be either.
Hudson Brown
>So you too suggest addressing it head-on? If its just with you, yes. Non-accusatory though, you don't want her to think you're mad about it.
Ethan Rodriguez
Oops, wrong post
Julian Wilson
>Bend down more then so you are still shorter than her... fpbp
Also, have you considered actually talking to her about it?
