I've been with my boyfriend for about a year now and we live together now. Recently he got a job working with his cousin doing construction.
About a month into this job, his cousin presents this job offer to move to another city that would be paid by their employer to go do some government construction that would pay them both a ton of money for about four months.
My boyfriend really wants to do this because it would help us move out of where we are faster even though I have explained to him several times that with my job and his we can make enough to move out but he thinks its more important to make a ton of money at once and invest it instead of just doing that over time. He's really impatient so of course he wants to take a short cut to try and get a bunch of money.
From the moment my boyfriend told me about this I was not on board but he doesn't seem to care about my opinion on this and thinks I'm wrong. It is almost like he thinks that doing this is more important than me.
Here is the kicker - his cousin told him the company wouldn't let him go because he doesn't have enough experience. But now he and his cousin are trying to coax the employer to do it anyway. He told me he wasn't going while I was at work only for me to come home and find out he is now still trying to go.
Am I wrong for wanting my boyfriend to stay with me and for us to move out on our own instead of relying his cousin for our life decisions?
Btw, his cousin is a complete dumbshit that knocked up some crazy bitch and is now a single father because he makes bad decisions.
You’ve gotta make hay while the sun shines. Don’t hold your boyfriend back just because you don’t want to see less of him for four months. There’ll come a point when you could use that extra money. Don’t be stupid.
Seriously, trying to hold his ass back like this is asking him to break up with you.
Aiden Hernandez
You sound really jaded and bitter when talking about this by using words like >he thinks it is more important >of course he wants to take a shortcut >doing this is more important than me >also bringing up his cousin is x when is in no way related to the topic at hand
It's only 4 months that he has to invest so he can have a better future and frankly it is a hell of a lot less annyoing than "well lets save up on our own", i would not want to work extra for the same goal if it meant i could do it quicker.
Yes you are wrong and if he wants to do that so he can secure a better future for you BOTH than lay off him and let the man work. I would JUMP at the oportunity to make a ton of money especially if its in such a short time frame, i would not even consider it. Its not likr he is going to do this forever hopping from city to city because THEN it becomes a problem. Since thats not the case just stop and let him be.
OP, I changed countries just to be able to make more money faster. These opportunities don't grow on trees, he has a chance to improve your finances quick and is very well aware that he'll be away fromyou, but thinks with his brain and presents you with the final decision not because you don't matter, but because he knows it's a very difficult decision and you would feel a lot of pressure if he asked for your opinion. Trust me, he loves you and cares about you, but it's his duty to take care of you and he has found a way to make that happen.
Zachary Cox
How is it a short cut? He's going to be working for it.
If he actually gets the job then he isn't relying on his cousin because it's already set up with him personally to go.
Not wanting to be away from him is fair enough but your other reasons are dumb
Joshua Cox
So me making my own money and moving us out is dumb? How?
Andrew Hall
I have money set aside.
The fact that he wants to leave me regardless of what I say had us both wondering if that would be the end but I said it wouldn't but I feel like it's just setting me up to resent him. I don't give a fuck about money. I just want him. But he want's money so we don't want the same things.
I brought up his cousin because that guy is the only reason he has this so called "opportunity" - it sounds like a god damn scam honestly. Wouldn't you be pissed if your girlfriend got roped into selling kirby vacuums door to door? I bet you would be.
His cousin is only doing this because he is the kind of dumb ass that sticks his dick in crazy whores without a condom and then has a kid he doesn't really want. That kind of person is scum to me.
I do not want my life decisions based off of some moron like that.
Hell yeah I'm pissed. I'm getting left behind for money and some retard who can't keep their life together.
Eli Perry
If they get the contracts and guarantees before they make any unnecessary risky big decisions then he should do it. If that's the situation and you still want to go then you are holding each other back and should separate so he can continue to grow, and you should advocate and push for that. If he can't get a serious contract and promise for work and increased payment then he shouldn't uproot everything for a wish.
Ian Lopez
If the situation is he gets the contracts and promise of work and increased pay and you still DO NOT** want to go then you should separate as you would be holding each other back. My bad, I fucked up the original sentence
Michael Bailey
>I have money set aside. This is the stupidest response I’ve ever fucking seen. You don’t deserve this guy. You shouldn’t waste his time anymore.
Jackson Rogers
>he has a chance Yeah, it's just a chance. It's most likely not even going to happen. It's so sad that he just jumped at the dollar sign.
I've been making it on my own for awhile. I wanted a partner. Not someone who wants to chase money.
I think it's sad how many people in this thread think money is so important that you would be willing to throw someone away.
Hudson Jones
I don't want to separate from him. I want his mind to stop being clouded by this dumb bullshit his cousin is roping him into.
Brandon Hughes
An entire generation (mine) almost unanimously defined by the term "missed opportunities" and your first thought is 'how can I stop him from going, I'm important.'
Unfortunately-- and this will be especially true of Disney princesses like you-- real life is a shitload more than mutual investments and lovey dovey poetry. Getting his foot in the door with the government is fucking radical beyond all hell, and having someone vouch for him to take an opportunity is a unique experience he'd do well to capitalize on. Put his money where his mouth is and he'll get a reputation. With a rep, he'll get work. Getting work, he can build his own clientele. Having work done for the government will be amazing for his CV.
I'm dying to know why you don't want him to go? Absence makes the heart grow fonder. And if physical distance is all it takes to shake your relationship, maybe it's already over.
Julian Martin
You sound like you're taking this personally.
Anyway. I could move us out of where we are now with the money I have set aside. I've lived on my own for awhile now. I have my shit together but I fell in love with this guy and moved in with him. Now we want to move else where but he thinks he has to do this complicated get rich quick scheme and we don't have to actually.
Does that make more sense now?
James Hill
I don't think you understand. This is a construction job, not getting his foot in the door to be a fucking FBI agent.
Not only that but it most likely won't even happen. The company told him he didn't have enough experience and now his cousin is trying to suck the boss's dick to get him to go. It's lame.
Juan Jenkins
So he wants to earn his own money instead of using your savings and this bothers you?
Wanting money does not equal materialism. Money and job experience (aka the ability to make more money reliably) afford peace of mind and allow people to live comfortable and stable lives to focus on what is truly important to them.
Brandon Lopez
This just sounds like it bugs YOU. Also nobody mentioned the FBI but successfully, and thoroughly completing work for the government is going to do a hell of a lot more for him than bitching on Jow Forums is going to do for you.
You need to realize you aren't his only opportunity. Of course his cousin is fighting for it, it's a good course of action to consider and is temporary to boot.
You can't possibly think acting like this would be charming or endearing to him. Belittling his pursuits because "you know better (TM)"... You're so vehemently opposed to what would be a sound pursuit. He'd be chasing cash if this were some get-rich-quick scheme involving entrepreneurial interests. But it's not. It's a job that will pay good money, afford good experience and hell, who knows if the opportunity will get his name on someone's mind or good list.
On the other hand, stymying the potential because you want to micromanage parts of his life that don't belong to you is a great way to give everyone around him ammo to use when it comes down to a choice of you vs just about anything else. The least cool thing about all this is that I'm delivering serious replies to obvious bait.
Dominic Peterson
The cousin is trying to pull strings to afford him an opportunity and you're talking shit about him this hard? And trying to help someone gain experience in their industry of choice is "lame"?
My advice to you is to grow the fuck up and quit being so selfish.
Zachary Rogers
You're an idiot for being so prideful that you won't accept help from family. You have an opportunity to move somewhere else. If that's what you wanna do anyway then take the opportunity.
Adrian Hall
I don't have a family and I don't need one.
Joshua Perry
Yes, but you can do construction anywhere. You're saying you want to go to this place anyway. Go, do the job and he'll have others lined up
Joseph Nguyen
Better project your problems and insecurities onto him You're right. You don't need a family. You need a fucking professional and some meds, bitch. You cray.
The man is getting experience, money and connections for 4 months of work and the only thing you have said is, well it might not happen, it may be a scam, i know better what he can he do with his time and energy better than he can reeeeeeeee!!!!!!
Let the man work, what is the WORST thing that can happen, he loses a few days/weeks because of this enterprise because it didnt work out, at best he will make a ton of money and the both of you will be better off in the long run.
The rewards outweigh the risks he is taking stop being a fucking bitch
I can already see this bitch talking to her bf when he finally gets the job
>user if you take that job and move for 4 months i will LEAVE you and KILL myself and it will be YOUR FAULT! >*teleports away to the construction site* >pssshhh nothing personell bitch
Honestly kudos to your bf for finding this oportunity i hope it goes well for him
>But it's not. It's a job that will pay good money, How the fuck do you know? I know it isn't.
Ian Evans
Post your bank account.
Yeah, that's what I thought.
Caleb Price
It's a fucking government construction company contract. That's not some scheme. It's about as locked in a gig as any could be.
Sure, if he moved out there before having a contract on his cousin's word, then he'd be a total dumbass. But if he gets the contract before going then there's no risk.
Caleb Cruz
>Wouldn't you be pissed if your girlfriend got roped into selling kirby vacuums door to door? I bet you would be. How does a construction contract signed by the government at all equate to that?
If he has the contract signed by the government in front of him then his cousin being full of shit has nothing to do with that.
Sure he could be talking smoke and your bf won't get the position. But if he actually gets the fucking contract in front of him then theres nothing for you to be so worried about.
Your BF sounds like a reasonable, intelligent person. I doubt he would move out to wherever this job is unless he is for sure locked in with the construction company. So that would be over his cousin's head. All the cousin is doing is getting his foot in the door.
Chase Cruz
Because now you can keep the money for other shit or keep it around for peace of mind/inevitable emergencies.
