Prison stories

Singing = sexual favours

Whatever people wanted to hear or I came up with (provided I know the lyrics and they slip me a little extra every now and then as appreciation)

At first I mostly sang blues and folk songs and even pop songs (oddly enough often requested).
Later I got a small guitar and was able to play more classic rock and metal songs, albeit in a toned down acoustic version.

I didn't really make an effort of not getting caught. I made a good amount of money and going through prison is the easiest way to get back at a boring lawfull life again.
Sure, you pay some fines and stuff, but it's actually costwise a win for the prisoner; you're literally housed for free all that time, worth quite a lot!

Ever get any tips/favors for performing?
And are you willing to post your art?

>Ever get any tips/favors for performing?
Just small things. Like a free ciggarette or some piece of candy every now and then.
I think the most valuable thing I got was someone helping me to get a job as some sort of janitor; cleaning the showers and some hallways

1999 conviction for manufacture of a controlled substance with intent for delivery, possession of precursors with intent to manufacture and several weapons charges.
sentenced to 80 months served 63

Where are you from? What country?

>And are you willing to post your art?
Don't have them on my pc. most were just doodles, simple portraits and small comics.

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>flag
Got your answer right there.

Does dick taste like it smells?

Had a rough time or did you manage well?

Tree Hugger Ville?

nono, I mean, the Netherlands.
I was jailed in the Netherlands.
I'd been selling weapons and they claimed I knew about a few murders, but that's never been proven.
I'm glad Dutch sentences are so laughanly low.

>gets sent to prison for tax fraud in..

3...
2..
1.

You made silencers for gang members? How much did you sell them for? Did you stash your cash? Did you get get it when you came out?

>>sell and make meth
>>Make so much money I stay in a ritzy hotel downtown in a big suite as my house
>>Always pay cash for everything
>>General manager that works night shift buys meth and weed from me, doesn't care I throw loud parties or what I do
>>Usually have a middle man do deliveries
>>Be high, up many days, decide I'll do my own delivery
>>Limo driver crashes into some dumb nigger
>>Police report needed, police show up and I'm fucked
>>Pound of weed and a bunch of meth
>>Go to prison for 5 years
>>Spend most my time playing cards and reading books
>>Only jumped once by a insane psrson which I responded and spent a week in seg
>>Seg is horrible, it's fucking jail in a jail
>>Get out on good boy behavior on parole

Been meth free 5 years now. Wasted my 20s.

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I simply sold weapons; mostly kalashnikovs. I sold them relatively cheap and was able to deliver faster than most (I guess). Prices varied a lot depending on quality, ammunition included, speed of delivery, risk of delivery. Cheapest I sold were about 300 euro's. Most expensive weapons were marksmans rifles for more than 10k.
As for the money, I'm living in a criminals paradise. So I did have to pay a fine, but none of my money was confiscated. I left prison with a large profit still.
And thanks to our governement I was housed for all that time for free and was helped into a cheap apartement directly after my time.

This country is just way too nice to criminals, most of the others are most certainly not as "good" as I were and won't rehabilitate at all.

Everyone has a hustle in prison to make it more like the real world.

>playing a fucking guitar
>in your cell
how was it not taken away?

>drugs
>5 years
Oof! that's needlessly harsh...

>Been meth free 5 years now. Wasted my 20s.
Good being clean! But wasted? Wasn't it all adventurous and interesting?

> did 23 months computer felony
ezmode slow motion, don't act like a mark you won't be a mark

Prisons over here aren't as rough as the US or what other place. You can get lots of cool stuff for good behaviour easily. But the punishments for bad behaviour are far worse.
Basicly, just laws, but no mercy.
I've seen people sent to maximum security prison within 2 weeks of arriving.

Also, I guess the staff liked the sound of some music as well, I mean, they are not able to listen to music as well. + you are under 24 hour camera surveillance.

>I simply sold weapons; mostly kalashnikovs. I sold them relatively cheap and was able to deliver faster than most (I guess). Prices varied a lot depending on quality, ammunition included, speed of delivery, risk of delivery. Cheapest I sold were about 300 euro's. Most expensive weapons were marksmans rifles for more than 10k.
That's interesting
Where were you sourcing them from? Former Yugo? Who where the main buyers? What sort of quantities did you sell?

Why the fuck do they not take your money?

A suprising amount of people just turn into zombies, maybe even less than that, and just shamble around for their entire sentence.

what's a computer felony?

You got close enough to smell one, don't act like you didn't give it a little lick.

not going into too much detail. But I didn't have to use the former Yugo like some pleb. I knew people elsewhere.
As for the buyers, just sold to whoever could find me and had the money. Except for negroes, I was not going to get involved with batshit crazy maffioso who want guns because they are cool and/or are genuinely stupid enough to pull a weapon on an armsdealer.
Quantities varied. Often when selling Kalashnikovs it was just about 5 a time, but marksman rifles sold per piece, even if someone wanted more.

>Why the fuck do they not take your money?
Something with not being able to know what amount of money you have is gained illegaly, the money itself is valid so aside from some fines they don't touch it. Although your bank account comes under direct investigation for some time after your sentence as well.

Told you, this country is just too good for criminals.

I got NJP'd multiple times for being drunk on duty when I was in the Army. DUI'd more times than I can count. That's the closest I've ever been to prison.

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Eh, I know that going to jail and getting arrested is degenerate and all, but when you can go to jail simply for having an open container in a vehicle and not even be the driver, it can happen. They can arrest you for the tiniest bs nowadays. He let me off though and gave me a citation and a court date. Said he could have arrested me and had to actually.

I had a prior conviction for drug possession and a DUI, so the judge told me to fuck off basically.

And it's not interesting spending 5 years being told when to shit and shower. Theres so much oppurtunity out in the world. And your 20s you have all this energy and ability. And yeah I spent some of it high fucking strippers, buying motorcycles ,cars, whatever i wanted, even knocking up a mega thot. Same cunt is crazy but I managed to get my son from after prison because she was tweaking around him. The worst part is I'm not allowed to own a gun and I wasn't a violent offender and I really enjoyed hunting. Now I can't pass that on to my son because of decisions I made.

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oof! that does sound rough, right.

>Went to prison for being American while white
>walk into my cell
>see op
>raped the fuck out of him for 11 months straight

Na I did do some time though and unironically told white inmates to come to Jow Forums when they got out lmao

Aha, Hence Stef Blok in the OP. Whom did you vot for last elections? are you even alowed to vote?

Aye, "the block"'s cool politician.
I voted for the "Hiddemeister".
There are no parties I could get behind, so I thought: Who would be the most interesting to see in the debates in the parliament? Some others like Dijkhof obviously would get a seat, so I went with someone who was on the edge of getting on or not.
Everytime that man speaks in parliament I forgive him for sticking with Baudet.
As for voting: You're still allowed to vote when in prison (wasn't in prison during any election though). You just don't get to leave prison for it. So you have to go through a lot of paperwork if you want to vote, as far as I know.

That's wild
Firearms trafficking carries a sentence of 5 years here in Canada.

Oh it's a serious crime as well over here, often should get you 8 years. But the lack of evidence made them go for this. They could either sentence me for jackshit, or keep trying and keep the investigation open for longer. Didn't want the trouble.
Also, had a good lawyer, helps a lot.

>The worst part is I'm not allowed to own a gun and I wasn't a violent offender and I really enjoyed hunting.
you can still hunt with bows and black powder go take your son hunting user

>Oh it's a serious crime as well over here, often should get you 8 years. But the lack of evidence made them go for this. They could either sentence me for jackshit, or keep trying and keep the investigation open for longer. Didn't want the trouble.
>Also, had a good lawyer, helps a lot.
How did they catch you anyway?

I simply didn't put an effort into not getting caught desu.
I just didn't use internet and what I did through internet was written in a simple but impossible to decifer code.
I knew that as soon as they got a serious investigation on me I'd be caught relatively quickly. But by scaling down the bussiness as soon as I noticed an investigation was started is how I got such a light sentence.
Even turned myself in just before the official summons and/or arrest.

However Adolf Hitler went to jail, therefore, under the right circumstances, going to jail is actually way cool, but only if you become Adolf Hitler

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Did 28 months in a county jail on a 10 year sentence for armed robbery when I was 19.

I drove the car.

So anyways I got a job in the kitchen where I had access to food,lifted weights everyday and became the baddest motherfucking 175 lb guy in there. I beat up guys way above my weight class. I didn't have any choice.

>I beat up guys

You were one of those guys...
Fucking annoying.
I'd say they should add up a whole year to someone's sentence everytime they fight with someone.

You fucking fag. There comes a time in every mans life where he has to fight or flee. I couldnt run,so I fought.

Iknow that's a weird concept for a homo.

so what? Did you defend or did you actively seek and fight others?
The former is okay, obviously, the latter is as degenerate as it gets.