What can i Do?

This is a dumpsterfire respect yourself and find someone else, it's guys that stay with girls like this that make them think it's ok to do it in the first place

you do realize she can still see him in person and all you see is messages?

Its probable there were hook ups after you made it official with this guy or some other. If it meant nothing for her to have a threesome two weeks prior then no stretch for her two weeks after. Think about this OP. While she was dating you she was secretly planning with another man to have a threesome and she and groomed herself in anticipation. Then she stayed in contact with the same man. That doesn't sound like a committed woman.

I understand wanting to make excuses in order to live with this and not end the relationship but you really don't have much of a relationship. Sounds like you care much more than she ever has.

What about the other person in the threesome, who were they? Another guy? Someone she even knew? Someone she is still in contact?

How can you see this as anything but a betrayal she hid from you. I realize she told you of the threesome while the two of you were dating but you still wouldn't know what she did had you not stumbled upon the messages.

Dude dump her ass wtf. Have some self respect.

He's in another city...
No, a random girl
I see it as a betrayal. I'll talk to her tomorrow. I only want to know how hard is a betrayal, after a year and an half...

And how to start the talk to her. I tend to give reason to people and i don't want to screw up and give way prematurely or be too hard on her...

You sound like a total pushover desu.

I know sorry xD
I can't make people sad by myself, and I tend to just say what the interlocutor want me to say...
I tryied to work on it and i am a bit better than years ago (at least now i can talk to people) but still overworking myself to make others happy.

And she's damn insecure, self-lesionist (sporadical) and tendent to depression, worsening this year. Is for that that i say she's not doing it in this year: she was the type but now she can't even start to think to do something without me or my approval (and i swear, that is maybe making even more damage that this old betrayal)

So the only reason she's not seeing him still is because he's in another city? Ever occur to you that may be the only reason she's with you?

Who found the random girl?

You just ask her why she wanted a relationship with you when she had a threesome while you were dating and getting serious. It really won't matter what she says because you have already decided to stay and come up with her excuse.

Let me leave you with one thing. It meant more to her to have that threesome with him than the possibility it would ruin what the two of you were building. Nothing she says now changes that fact.

there you go again coming up with excuses for her behavior. She made you a fool on purpose, that isn't love OP.

This. From what I gather you two were in the process of getting together but she decided having a thresome was more important. Is that really someone you wanna be with?

I'm usually in the "never forgive" camp but maybe I'm getting soft in my old age... she seems to genuinely regret it, and my ex that I dated for almost six years I met when she was still with her ex and they still fucked once while her and I were talking and getting to know each other. I'd say give her another chance, it's been a freaking year and a half, and she probably hid it because she regrets it and knows it would hurt you which is why she lied about it, might've figured it wasn't important so it was better to forget and move on. However, if she does anything like this again or so much as kisses another dude then bail on her ASAP

The guy found it.

>It meant more to her to have that threesome with him than the possibility it would ruin what the two of you were building
yeah... that thing is what is bugging me most.

A month ago i dumped (or at least tried) her for the other problems... But we started coming back together only this weeks. But i don't want things like this to be between us anymore... for that i decided to talk

well that is obvius... The first negative sign and all those thing will come up again

Fuck that. Hiding the real details about something like this from someone for over a year should not be forgiven. It's clearly important information when deciding if the guy wanted a relationship with her and she knew that and lied. Fuck her.

The smartest thing is to end it. Not only does this women have no self control, she appears to bend situations to fit her needs. She's going out with someone but at the same time gets railed by two guys, that's not exactly something that makes a person stand out for their principles or trust

>she seems to genuinely regret it
where did you read this? she said she had a threesome not that it was during their courtship

I also don't understand dismissing bad behavior and lying by omission so the party harmed isn't hurt more. Damn, thats an easy out.

Like I said I think I'm getting softer in my old age, I can totally get behind this rationale too. The big thing is she kept it a secret, and if it really meant nothing to her then she would've been open about it and treated it like it was no big deal, but the secrecy and lying is the big issue.

You weren't committed, anything is fair game.

Oh maybe I misread, I thought she felt bad about doing it

nvm fuck her dump her ass

So, your gf and this guy wanted to have a threesome really bad. All while you were blissfully ignorant and in love.

If you are already having other major issues (enough to break up over) then this should tell you breaking up is the right decision. Not as the thing that repairs a broken relationship.

Other problems? What other problems?

mayba i have to update on how we came together.... it's a bit screwed up i can say.

The first six month she was triyng to leave her boyfriend without hurting him. I broke the line of boys she was with, she was ruining herself with these story. I even risked to punch one of them. I remained until she built the streght to leave him.

That makes it worse OP. You did the heavy lifting and support and she was out having threesomes. Goddamn it just gets worse.

I had a nevrotic breakdown due the pressure of the university and her occuping my weekends.. when i leave she tend to have strong crisis of depression. I know what are u thinking, she's manipulative and made them up, but on that i can assure it's a medical problem(in fact she had meds prescribed)

Not your responsibility. Jesus Christ OP man up.

I KNOW!! But how can i go to a person that depends now on me and breaks down and hurt herself if i simply goes away for even a couple of days, and say "Remember ur worse period? the one u still have shame every time u think about? the one i promised to forgot about u? It lasted a time too much, and now that we had built a new thing in a year i am dumping u for it"

With the other user and you take care of yourself and not this girl.

I'll say no more.

You were not together. Let it go brother.

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You don't stay with someone who's lied to you because they might feel sad if you leave. OP grow up

She's a piece of shit OP and taking you down the toilet with her

well... i think i got the picture. Thanks u all for the support and advices... I promise that anyway it will go tomorrow we will resolve this, a way or another. Certanly i won't be as positive as ever