Hey everyone, so every time that I have sex with someone I come close to finishing (ejaculating) but I can't actually orgasm during sex.
Whoever has sex with me orgasms and they ask me but I just can't, no matter how much I try. It's not that I don't find it pleasurable; it's just that when I'm about to reach the climax this sense of disgust kinds of turns me off and makes it impossible for me to orgasm. I think it's because I was raped when I was 15 by some old fat fuck, so there's something in my subconcious that won't let me fully enjoy it.
Like do I even have erectile dysfunction? It still gets hard and I enjoy it but I just can't finish. I've always wanted to wait till marriage for my first time but that's long gone, unless it's possible that I need that strong emotional connection? I've had many one night stands with people I don't really care about- could that be a factor as well?
Idk what to do- if I find someone I love and wait till marriage then what if I still have the same problem and can't finish? Help :/
Google "ejaculatory incompetence" - a terrible name for a not-at-all-uncommon condition
Jason Williams
>ejaculatory incompetence The old phrase for this situation was ‘ejaculatory incompetence'. Most sex practitioner’s now want to say delayed or retarded ejaculation.
Have you ever gotten help for dealing with the trauma of being raped? This sounds a lot like you haven‘t really been able to release this. Ofc it will have a huge impact on your sexuality to be brutalized that way. user, come on... you‘re not a robot!
Jack Ross
I also need to add that „asking someone to cum“ is almost inevitably going to result in the opposite. Pressure is the natural enemy of orgasms. Never sleep with someone again who pressures you for an orgasm until they have seriously reconsidered their attitude.
Josiah Roberts
I'm not belittling, I'm seriously concerned about how it'll affect my future relationships.
Yeah the counselors at school said that I compartmentalized it very well (?) and that if I needed anything I could talk to anyone. I spoke to the vice principal, counselors, and the cops bc they kept asking if I was okay.
I don't feel like I'm necessarily traumatized but I did feel pretty gross and dirty for a while. I guess I'm not as over it as I thought then?
Nah it's more like ayy I wanna please you cum on, are you close type of thing, usually when they're having an orgasm and feel bad that I'm left out
What do you mean by some fat fuck? Can you explain it through greentext to give us a better understanding?
Jayden Parker
> guess I'm not as over it as I thought then?
Most likely not. It‘s hard for a MALE TEEN to admit that a traumatic incident has had a big impact on him. At that phase it‘s all about being tough and hard and unshakeable. Chances sre huge that you just oacked all the emptions concerning the assualt into a neat littlw package and hid it in some dusty corner and try to forget it is even there. Which worked pretty well. The obly issue is that it actually IS still there. You can forget about it all you want, it won‘t disappear. And as it seems you have hidden it in the „orgasm“ corner, so that‘s where it is acting up now. You can try to overcome your „delayed ejaculation“ with a phlethora of techniques that will leave you frustrated and feel like a failure who dissapointa his oartner in bed or you can get that package out of it‘s corner, open it and deal with whatever is inside it. Maybe there are emotions inside that you never allowed yourself to have, like sadness (which is common for guys, since „guys don‘t cry“), or believes that you made tere that are still ghosting around in your mind but you might not agree with them anymore (like „this was also my fault in sone way“). Take a look inside and toss out what you dob‘t need anymore.
And seriously, stop sleeping with so eone who pressures you to „have a good time“ so they can feel like they are good in bed. This shit is toxic.
Owen Thompson
this isn't what I expected when I clicked on this thread
John James
Fuck off man I've got my dick in my hand and you're trying to steal my greentext from me faggot
Mason Miller
Just go watch rape porn or make up your own fantasy.
Nathan Carter
I think I might take a break from this whole sex stuff man, you're right. One more question before I go though; is it weird if I look back at it kind of fondly? I hate that fat fuck and hope he burns (eternally) in hell but I sometimes find myself jacking off to the thought of having his cock slid up my ass. I won't get too graphic with these fantasies, sorry, but I know it's not normal and I can't ask anyone else about it
David Garcia
You're making me hard man, more details please
Christian Sanders
>running around lake >I make friends everywhere I go including spontaneous visits to the park so I don't think it's weird to talk to people >while I'm sitting down on park bench dude besides me strikes up conversation about how he bought a home gym to start working out >I wanna work out too >Walk to his house (the lake has a few neighborhoods beside it) >check out the gym >turns out its an entire room >pretty cool >check out the rest of the house >see him lock the door behind me when I walk into a room (I don't remember well, it's like he had a tv and couch in his bedroom or something) >__ >??? >lights are off I dont know whats happening >freeze up >I want him off me but cant move or say anything >??? >___ >feel some wrinkly shit in my mouth >___ I seriously don't remember what happened here >See him walking to bathroom (?) >Make a break for it >see sidewalk with pine needles below me as I run >look up there's a street >go home >throw up and cry in the shower
And that's my story! I faintly remember there being something red (blood (?) ) in my stool? I'm not sure if there was penetration but to this day I hope not.
I actually got tested for STDS last week and I'm clean so that's good, I really freaked out about possibly having a disease from that though can you imagine
My hookup from two days ago felt bad they couldn't please me at all but that was because they smelled kinda funky. I didn't care about that one bc ew but it did remind me about the problem that I have.
No. That‘s fairly normal. It‘s your way of coping with it and it is also because fear and pain can release similar hormones like sexual relevant stimulation, so sometimes the body kind of snaps and makes weird connections. But that‘s probably extremely relevant. You feel guilty for being aroused by the memory, yet it makes you cum. at the same time you‘re unable to cum during sex with a partner (where you’re less uninhibited). Something strongly suggests that there is a connection. As i said, looks like you parked that package in the „cum corner“.
Was there force involves in the rape or was it more a „taking advantage of you in a friendly mentor“ way? This might be relevant...
Brayden Carter
Lake Tahoe? And fuck man, you made me cum. Thanks. That's fuckin' awful buddy. Hope you get that shit sorted out
Hm, ok, that‘s pretty intense. How long ago has this happened? How did you feel the days right after it happened? What emotions came up? How was it to have sex again the first time after the assault?
Jordan Fisher
>How was it to have sex again the first time after the assault? All I could long for was the fat sweaty dick of that old man, and his muffin top which seemed to nearly overlap it.
I can't seem to find that I am aroused anymore, especially with girls now. I have a strong urge to sit on more dicks, specifically older white men because of this. That is why I suffer from this ED, because I am no longer attracted to females
Liam Miller
It's pretty weird and gross that you're doing this. It's obvious that you're not OP. Do you think this is funny or something? I really don't understand.
Benjamin Peterson
Like four years ago, it's a feeling of ambivalence and disgust for me, it's weird to me how can be turned on by it but whatever.
Sex isn't different from the first time after it happened until now. I've had sex like 10 times but can't climax, that the flashbacks of being held down and grossed out occur less and less though so that's good.
I'm trying to look for a solution or a good, cheap, therapist that won't just tell me to talk about my feelings though. I want results
