I'm a piece of shit depressed loser who does nothing all day, how's my list of what I want to do regularly?

I think that‘s still way too fast. Also, have you ever stopped to examine why you feel such an intense need to „improve yourself“? Who told you that you‘re not good enough developing at your own pace and in the areas that come naturally?

What's wrong with setting a schedule

In my city legitimately every security position requires driving around.
I looked for days for these legendary American jobs where you just sit and whistleblow but it seems I'm missing something

There‘s nothing wrong with it per se.
It just made the impression on me that you are pulling very hard on your own grass to make it grow faster.

What i‘m getting at is that i sense some kind of inherent „if i‘m not being xyz, doing jkl and knowing tzu then i‘m not a worthy person“ vibe. I‘m all for self improvement, don‘t get me wrong. I also think you‘re ideas are good. But it seems very forced and i suspect that you‘ll not be able to follow trough because you‘re trying to alter the direction and speed of your naturally development. I don‘t think you lack selfdiscipline, quiet contrary. What i do think is that this will leave you frustrated and feeling like a failure.

My humble suggestion would be to instead find that quiet „voice“ inside you that tells you what you‘re enjoying and what you‘re not enjoying. You mightnot believe me, bit that voice is a lot wiser than you might think. Aure it might first tell you stuff that runs contrary to everything you‘re trying to achieve, like „lay in bed all day and bingewatch netflix“ or „govble down 3 burgers and 2 donuts“. But that‘s because it‘s like a little kid who wasn‘t allowed to wach tv, be idle or est sweets for YEARS. It‘ll get around, don‘t you worry. People who never get out of those habits are the ones who try to fight it instead of permitting themselves to let lose and go with it. I‘ve done it myself and the urge to eat better and take care of your life will come if you‘re patient and don‘t kudge what you need right now.

>I'm ... depressed
For those of us who don't pop pills, our own clout is the only thing left between us and the vast, empty ennui that depression threatens to pull us into. We're often victims of our own actions thanks to our thoughts and most often our efforts are stopped by a sheer wall of apathy and lethargy that seem to have neither top nor bottom, neither end nor start.

I think OP is trying to help himself. Will he attain all this day-one? No, but having the high goals means he can approach them and has a rough rubric to follow, which can be all the difference in a situation like that.

I‘ve been depressed all my life (with diagnosis and medical treatment/therapy). I could have saved my self some very miserable years if i had found out that one of the main reasons i couldnmt get out of it was that i was using all my energy to fight against myself. I got significantly better pretty fast after i gave up that war. Might not work for everyone, but it sure worked for me.

Try making your bed daily, and exercising.

Its all nice and easy to plan shit but you should just do it instead of making dumb ass lists for the """future"""

You are starting from the wrong end of the problem. Yes, incremental progress through gradually adopting good habits is the right way to go, but you need a proper goal to keep at it. If this list of random things is all you have, then I think you will stop seeing any meaning in it quite soon.

What you need to do first, is formulate some worthwhile long-term goals for yourself. Really just sit down (or go for a walk or whatever helps you think) and imagine who and where you want to be in like 5 years. Something like "i want to get a job as a programmer, have a gf and get a bit Jow Forums, so my knees don't hurt when I move". Write it down and put it on your wall or some place where you can see it regularly. And only THEN you start thinking about how to get there, decompose it in little steps and make a list of specific small tasks like yours. Then the big goal keeps you long-term motivated and the small tasks give you a sense of progress.

Start with meditation and or/walking, make sure you keep it up, and no distractions. No music, nothing. maybe start with less then 30 minutes. 10 minutes meditation and 10 minutes walk, uninterrupted every day.

One of the biggest problems causing depression today is lack of concentration skill, and yours is most likely damaged as fuck. 20 minutes of uninterrupted peace a day doesn't sound much but if your anywhere close to average depressed person it's going to be a pain in the ass.

I would also suggest cleaning up your diet. Here are some tips:
>be autistic about nutrition labels, if it jad more than 5 grams of sugar, do not eat or drink it
>if something is a sugar free product, look for sucralose, aspartame or stevia in the ingredients area, if it has those, do not eat
>do not buy or eat frozen or canned foods
>eat whole foods baked in the oven
>buy a rice cooker and a huge bag of Jasmine rice
>buy skinless boneless chicken and veggies such as brussel sprouts, carrots, broccoli and zuckenni
>eat eggs and sausage for breakfast
>eat peanut butter on wheat for luncj
>drink only water and a lot of it

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