Bf likes video games more than me

Haha I was thinking the same thing now that this is happening. Daddy issues lol? My dad was quite absent lol didn't think that is actually a thing tho haha

If I were to guess he is distant, try to shake things up to make that change...but n all honesty if he is that far away he is likely doing this from guilt.

Men tend to believe in duty, and you moving and betting your life on him means he may literally be walling off his emotions so he can not have to confront not loving you like he should.

Try a change but be prepared to discover he is just gritting his teeth to avoid hurting you.

play vidya with him
duh

As a guy whos gf left him cus I played dota and hearthstone over spending time with her.

Yeah once they leave everything that had meaning loses it. I do not play video games anymore my gf left me start of the year.

Once she left I started feeling the worst feelings ive ever felt. That motivated me to work out. Take up fighting. Set goals for myself like starting a relgion or rewriting out shitty education sylibus.

My advice? Break up with him then get back with him in two months

That's tough. I'd talk to him about it again. I don't think he has to completely give up video games but he HAS to cut down on them. Some guys just use their gf as a 'mother' figure to take care of them and provide emotional support for them. I would know, I've done the same thing with two of my girlfriends and I've lost them both. Didn't learn my lesson the first time and lost the second one, though it was on much more complicated circumstances.

If you love him, tell him. Explain to him maybe you two should do more, go out once in a while. Tell him you don't want him to quit but you just what there to be a better balance between games and you. I think this would be healthy for everyone involved. Yes guys need time away from their gf but not too much and not all the time.

get some hobbies of your own. you're probably boring as hell. btw this is what marriage would lead to. if its not videogames is whatever hes into

The thing is... If I ask him to do stuff with me, I feel like I'm forcing him. Like why can't he WANT to do stuff with me? Why do I have to push him?
I mean I understand what you're saying and to make it work I guess I have to put in the work but it's just frustrating. Constantly reminding someone "hey I'm still here".

I do admit I "baby" my boyfriends. I cook for them, clean for them, shop for them, and do everything to make him happy. He hasn't washed dishes and vacuumed in 3 years. I bet he would if I asked, not really blaming him for that, I just do it because "he works soo hard" even tho I work too. I just always feel like I deserve less so I shouldn't complain.

Thanks anons. I will try everything you asked. I might talk to him in a few days when my emotions are lower, because if I did it now I would cry and I am really over being this pathetic bitch. For the next few days I'll try and focus on myself 100%.

I have hobbies of my own. I have a job. I go to the gym. I just want to spend time with my bf sometimes besides eat dinner together. Am I asking for too much?

>convert consciousness into pure code
>insert code onto tamogotchi pet with extra memory added
>mail self to bf
>be loved
>???
>profit

shit i was going to suggest multiplayer but now that just seems kind of scummy. You seem like a catch op, I'm sorry. I definitely couldn't see myself giving up gaming completely as it's my social link to friends abroad, but that's not even close to necessary every single night or sometimes even weekly, although I play singleplayer games quite a bit.

maybe you could try some low effort, but routine additions to your schedule like going for walks or somewhere else on certain days, and encourage him to challenge himself from sinking into that routine. It's ok to game, but he shouldn't be coming in and plugging in the controller immediately, or waiting until he can do so. his mind needs to be open to other possibilities, and he can challenge himself to think of something to do other than hold a controller once or twice a week, especially with help. Does he have any other hobbies/goals? (even if he has a stable/good paying job, he should still have other goals) maybe you could learn a new skill together

I'm assuming of course that you have your own interests/games you can play if you're into that, and allow for a sufficient amount of time away from you in general

I love love love games so I don't mind him playing at all. But I do mind him literally saying "byee" as a joke whenever he finished dinner and puts his headset on. And okay maybe I am boring. I like walks and watching movies and taking photos, I'm a basic bitch obviously, I don't wanna do bungee jumping. But he knew all that when we met and started dating. He even said he wouldn't like if I all of a sudden started going clubbing or something. I hate clubbing but I'm literally considering it because I'm turning into one of those "how to get my bfs attention" bitches.

You're not wrong for wanting more attention than his toys.... judging by what you say you do, he definitely takes you for granted.

Should I stop doing it or is it too late? Should I just cold turkey stop cooking and stuff for him, no explanations? Like do I have to play hardball?

U need to rock his world if he feels comfortable enough to dominate u like that.
He feels overly secure, which will make him not think or act straight. Scare his ass. Go out more, get into social physical activities, hang out with friends more frequently.

Either he will change his act or youll meet someone more ready to appreciate you. Either way you end up with a better relationship.

I would think so. If he has cold turkey stopped doing things for you or doing things you like, then I don't think it's unreasonable to respond in kind. He is coming across as a manchild by the way you are describing him. Whenever I'm with friends or family or anyone else is in the room with me, they have my attention, over a game. If I had a gf I'd not dream of ignoring her in favour of games.

Nah that passive aggressive cold war shit is just cancerous & most guys would just think “damn my girl is Crazy now!” So ud get nothing out of that. As soon as a guy can confidently label you as “being crazy” you will accomplish nothing with him, regardless of the intents or reasoning.

U 2 clearly dont communicate properly.

I'm tired of telling him what I want and him not listening. But I still love him and can't just be "fuck this bye"

She said she already raised her concerns with him and after a single day he goes back to his console. He's ignoring her. He has to be aware he's bound to start driving her away. She won't put up with being ignored forever. She said she's been through it before already. The lad needs to take some responsibility for himself, and put his toy down for a while.

He doesnt listen to u when u tell him your honest feelings with a reasonable approach?
Dump him.
No amount of comfort or past memories is worth appreciating someone else more than appreciating yourself.

Sorry but please stfu if youve never had a gf.

I love all your guys advice but I'm too weak for most of it. Whenever I act cold or distant he comes to me. But I can't keep acting like that, as soon as he gives me a tiny bit of attention I go back to my old ways, being all "I'll do everything for you baby" shit. I can't play hardball for longer than half an hour. I suck ughhhh. I wish I could be a bitch I truly do.

>Whenever I mention it to him he says he's gonna change but it lasts about a day. And I feel shitty if I have to force my bf to spend time with me.
So here's the thing to understand. It's going to take more than a day for him to lose the cravings. And yes I mean cravings because video games are addictive as fuck.

I dunno if it's dopamine spikes or love for instant gratification or whatever fancy terms people throw out there but it becomes a habit and ignoring the habit is fucking difficult. Just like drinking alcohol every night or even nail biting.

I struggled in school and with relationships and even pursuing hobbies I enjoyed because all I needed to be happy was to fire up a game of Dota or Starcraft 2.
I finally deleted the games and turned into a straight A student practically overnight. I got into a PhD program (electrical engineering) and everything.
Then over the summer after I graduated but before the year started I let down my guard and started gaming again -- all my "real world" interests and stuff I did for fun, my work ethic, etc. just kinda slid -- I started procrastinating a LOT, drinking and playing games every night instead of staying on top of my work, so I had a pretty lackluster year and I'm going to have a lot of explaining to do (grad school has high expectations by default). The whole time I was telling myself "I won't do this tomorrow" every night.

Cus bottom line is that a relationship is a 2way street, and if hes treating u like this now, however long youve been together, its not going to change.

U know how business works? If u go in to buy a car but you arent willing to walk away if the salesman doesnt tell you a number you like, then he will tell you only numbers that HE likes.

You have to be willing to walk away from a bad deal, or else you will get the shittiest deal.

>assuming I've never had gf

lol

>But I do mind him literally saying "byee" as a joke whenever he finished dinner and puts his headset on

yeah that's what i was afraid of

Damn OP, that's some childish manbaby shit that you might just have to hit rock bottom to come back from. If you come back at all. My advice would be to hone yourself. Don't allow yourself to feel trapped by him. Don't try and scare him or give him an ultimatum, but YOU need to act on your needs and get out more, spend time with your friends, whatever. it doesn't have to be going clubbing, but get yourself out and do things that you want to do. As you develop your independence, you can continue to extend your hand, but he has to be willing to take it at the end of the day. if you two grow apart naturally, that's how it is, but you'll be more free for it. He may very well see you branching out and seek to join you The absolute worst thing you could do in this situation is to sit alone and wish for him to turn off the game.
and if it goes south hit me up.

If you raise someone else above you then they will take up a rifle and shoot down at you.
No healthy relationship will come until you learn to love people on even terms, meaning you dont put yourself above or below them at all.

All my girlfriends are really strong and they all say what they want loud and clear and don't take no for an answer.
I wish I was like that and I don't know what it would take for me to be like this.

I just can't believe this is happening to me again. Like it must be me, the way that I'm such a pussy ass bitch so they're allowed to be to walk all over me.

I regret posting here...this bitch is self centered as fuck and could care less WHY its happening and just wants it to stop...

Fuck her and you gaggle of mindless cucks feeding her attention complex.

Enjoy having your pussy be his 3rd favourite console you selfish ninny.

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Who hurt u user.

wow, the attention of faceless anons, oh wow, I'm sure she is just fingering herself senseless...... get well soon, user.

Her using 1st person context for 500 hundred posts and nobody caring this dude has distanced himself from his Gf and his dick.

Y'all know she cant MAIL you pity pussy right?

That's not true. She could get molded and mail it over. Use your imagination, user.

Sorry user and I agree I'm probably being selfish

All these people saying "it can't change" and "he chose gaming over you, instant break up" wouldn't be saying the same thing if it was alcohol or drugs he was doing every night, they would be giving you strategies to mitigate, reduce, or remove the issue.
A full scale ultimatum/intervention won't work any better than it would against a heroin addict, and in fact he may feel justified in defying it ("it's just gaming"). But gaming is slowly being accepted as a legit addiction.
americanaddictioncenters.org/video-gaming-addiction/

Hell, just look at this news from today. Some kid is about to fuck himself out of a contract worth MILLIONS of dollars a year because he can't resist playing video games all night.
cbssports.com/nhl/news/a-top-pick-of-a-prominent-nhl-team-is-reportedly-ruining-his-career-over-a-video-game-addiction/

Games nowadays are incredibly stimulating. The reason his reform only "lasts about a day" is because after a day the cravings get so strong he just can't resist. It's even worse if you play an online game because there are friends alongside you doing the same thing and it makes you feel it's okay. Then once it becomes a habit it's ingrained and you do it without thinking.

I had today off, it was warm and sunny outside, I got my morning coffee, sat down at the PC to check my emails and thought of the things I should do. I should hit the driving range, maybe work on a paper a bit, maybe hit the gym.
While thinking all of this my hand double clicked the Dota2 icon and I thought "it's a day off, I have time" and next thing I knew it was 1pm and I still wasn't even dressed. But gaming is also mentally tiring, so I felt like taking a nap, and boom the whole day got wasted by Dota2.

if you actually care about him, look at this through the lens of an addiction; he likes you, but he's not thinking rationally. You need to replace the bad habit with a good one, and you can't rely on his willpower alone to do it.

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I have a 3D printer.

Have a real talk with the man and see if he's hurting too....framing this as one perspective is probably why this happened.

For all you know he is fucking in shambles and is squeaking by right now.....confirm the context and come back.

If hes just literally choosing games over you then do all this AA for nerds bullshit.

Nah ur a fag, the kind of fag that projects his own weakness over entire populations in order to justify them.

Plenty of people can manage their time effectively and still play videogames.

Also DOTA is for fags.

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Stop using emoticons on an imageboard.

PS yes u had a free day and thought about all those funtastic things u could do outdoors, then spent at least 10 minutes typing that transparent rant.

Doesn’t look like videogames are the real problem. Maybe u should try adderall.

Only mods can tell me what to do >:]

Next time he's online with his friends get next to his mic and seductively say "you have 5 minutes to join me for cuddles or you can play with yourself again" then listen around the corner. His friends will talk about how they miss cuddles, how they'd drop everything for you, how he's gay for choosing them over pussy, he'll lie about his sexual prowess, and it'll all take over 5 minutes. Once that time passes, get close to the mic again and say bluntly "time's up, guess you'd rather rub your dick to old memories tonight instead of making new ones" and go see a movie or something. His smarter friends will berate him and kick him from the party.

If he doesn't care leave his sorry ass. It'll hurt you more than him but it'll be the wake up call he needs. As a guy who logs at least 80 hours a week on games, I will say your boy needs to be slapped with the reality that he has a good thing going right in front of him and that that good thing occasionally needs his attention for 5-20 minutes. His bros can make do without him- they probably need to take a shit and want a smoke break anyway.

Which games did you suggest that you two play together, out of curiosity?

Heh. My gf has tried this tactic and failed. 3 of my online friends are married do they know, and actually kekd when it happened.

Also, after that time, i always have push to talk active

>samefagging this angrily
Seems like you might be in a bit of denial faggot.
You remind me of potheads who say "b-but plenty of people can control it"
It might be true, but in any case I can't. And perhaps her boyfriend is the same as me. Not everyone experiences life the same.
As for my "weakness" well as I said I turned into a straight A student and actually graduated with a 3.94 gpa, got into a PhD program in a leading research institute so obviously I wasn't that weak after all. And after typing that post I uninstalled my games again, so I guess I'll go back to winning pretty soon. My life is fine. Maybe you need to worry about your own.

>all those funtastic things u could do outdoors
I was a 6 handicap.
In other words, these are activities I enjoy and legitimately put a lot of time into. But they don't hold a candle to the addictiveness of video games.

>Nah ur a fag, the kind of fag that projects his own weakness over entire populations in order to justify them.
webmd.com/mental-health/addiction/features/video-game-addiction-no-fun#1
en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Video_game_addiction
psychologytoday.com/us/blog/freedom-learn/201803/sense-and-nonsense-about-video-game-addiction
deadspin.com/an-nhl-prospect-is-reportedly-ruining-his-career-over-a-1826124656
addictionrecov.org/Addictions/?AID=45
newsweek.com/world-health-organization-says-video-game-addiction-mental-health-disorder-are-759660
espn.com/video/clip?id=16657868

I`d say 1:, work on yourself. Relationship problems cannot supercede personal growth. Invest time in your career, hobbies, skills _dreams_.
2: try to mix your hobbies and pastimes with his in whatever way possible, just being close together, showing interest, and engaging his interest into what each of you is doing
3: try getting into his hobby(by really understanding what pulls him into it) so that you don`t get isolated from each other and so that you thus retain the ability to pull him out(when he wants it, if that moment never comes, it shouldnt matter to you since you have spent that time developing yourself which he should not mind if he is a decent bf) of the hobby and most importantly
4: suggest to him to channel his video game addiction into something creative like working in IT for example, it doesnt have to be exactly like what he is doing but _anything_ related will do. For example, an avid reader friend of mine did not go for writing books, or becoming an editor. She became a graphic designer, designing book covers and voila. She was as addicted to it as she was to reading, it just came naturally to her. Gaming is usually problem solving, so anything IT/game related should do(you cant imagine the power of the ability to sit in front of a computer screen for 4 hours straight).
Generally relax, be open, rushing only reinforces the addiction panic/paradigm ruining objectivity and relationships. Each half of the couple should be totally free to do as he likes. The rest(help, guide, suggest, share) we do out of love for each other. You are only responsible for your life and goals(set only by you). If you seeks goals unattainable with present partner switch partner, but first weigh your personal vs your relationship goals to choose wisely. Talk to him about your and shared goals and dreams, not about do`s and don`ts.

This is probably the answer you don't want to hear, but he doesn't love you. He's simply tolerating you, staying with you because it's comfortable. You shouldn't have to fight for his attention or play games to get him to spend time with you. The worst part is, you brought up this problem multiple times and he doesn't give a fuck enough to change. I normally don't say "break up" as advice but you have to let go. He clearly has checked out of the relationship.