Hey, this is kind of a long story, so it’ll be sent through multiple parts of the thread, but any advice would really help me here.
I’ve been in a relationship for 1 and a half years. I’m currently 19. I’ve been dating my girlfriend since I was 17, a month before turning 18. So, we’ve been together for a while. At first, like any honeymoon stage, everything was incredible. We spent every moment we could spare together.
The honeymoon stage lasted us about a good 9 months or more. For the first time in my life I could say I was TRULY happy, but it started to crumble rather fast.
At about 5 months in, her best friend kissed her. He immediately regretted it and she immediately told me. He had claimed he was gay and whatnot, though I knew he had feelings for her. (He’s also a professional actor and photographer, and actually making some headway) I wouldn’t ever say he’s a truly bad guy, just someone who has hurt me in some huge ways. *To claim I think anyone should be friends with any gender, you shouldn’t cut yourself of from half the world for dating someone, that's unfair*
>PART 2 I never really got to know him, she’d always distance her friendships from me. They remained friends after about a few days long fight.
Back to 9 months in. Its about December now, and her and her best friend have become very close. She talked about him, often. We started to fight more, which back then were very scattered. She’d always claim I was cheating if I talked to any other girl, but after some time (dealing with her ex cheating) she got over it and stopped claiming these things. Now, we’d be fighting almost constantly. It was a daily routine, we’d fight about something petty, and neither of us would let it go, until I would ultimately admit I was wrong and tell her she’s right.
During these fights she’d claim that “at least my friend (the one who kissed her) treats me right” and would constantly, constantly compare me to him. Any sort of sex and intimacy in our relationship just… stopped. The only time anything happened was christmas eve.
Evan Edwards
>PART 3 I can’t say I was perfect, I would hold onto stuff as well and get very petty and mean too. My parent’s had always yelled when I was young and it became a defense mechanism, which is what I would do when I panicked, but have worked on it and lessened any of that by an extreme amount.
She talked to her friend, every day.
In January, she’d start to blow me off for him, and hang out with him over me. From december to here, she’d never talk to me when she’s with him, because “when I’m with him, he deserves all my attention, and all my time, he is the one who I’m focussing on, so I won’t talk to you” though whenever she was with me she’d race to answer a text or call from him, no matter what it was we were doing.
I was concerned she was cheating. She told me she didn’t know if she had feelings for him or not, that broke me, eventually she said she was over it, and that she never had feelings. I asked her if she cheated, she was honest with me and told me no. The best I could do was believe her, at first it was hard, but now I believe her until I look back at these events, and I question it again.
William Foster
>PART 4 I do know for a fact she “emotionally” cheated by giving him what she should have given me emotionally. I never got a single compliment from her and etc.
This had continued up until February, where she tried to distance herself, but would still pull the same games when she would hang with him or talk to me. The fighting continued, so she said that wasn’t the problem and started back up hanging with him a lot again in March. The fighting continued, but they would always end with us threatening to end it, but me giving in and apologizing.
In April, same shit. We went to prom. It was a wonderful night and I thought it rekindled some things that were slowly, slowly coming back, the fire was still there but it was very dim.
The next day she hung out with her friend again and never answered or even told me she was going out. I felt alone and abandoned and I told her that, her response was, “We need to take a break.” We met up in person and decided to take a break for a week. She stated “This means I can do whatever, and I may go on a date with her friend” I was. broken.
We talked during the break and all the time she was complaining about how sad she was and how distant I was being. We got back together, after the week and we had a chat. She didn’t go on a “date” but hung out with him 5/7 days we were on a break.
Jason Moore
>FINAL PART We had to compromise a lot about what was going on, the fighting, him, and anything else that was on our minds.
She wouldn’t let me speak to him, or see them since that was “intruding” but she would “try to talk to me if she could” since then, up till now, she usually fails to do so and now states she doesn’t have to tell me when she’s going to see him, up until shes already about to go or coming back.
Whenever she is upset or anxious she takes it out on me. When I try to help she says it never works and my help is wrong and never reinforces me that what I am doing is right. She says “Just love me” but how else do I love her than try to help her by giving advice or listening, anything.
I do love her, and we have a lot of good moments too, but this where I view all the negatives are drawn from. I don’t think she should abandon her friend, but I wish she’d let me in, or be open, or talk, or just, anything more than I’m getting. I would love to here more positive things and reinforcement that I am trying to help fix this as well as my body, I’d love for things to be more intimate. There’s so much I wish would get better, and before you ask, “have you talked to her?” Yes, I have. Almost every day, all the time about this stuff.
I just, don’t know what to do anymore.
After the break I told her lets wait a month to see change, I have seen little to none, and we are about to discuss it again, and I just don’t know if I should wait longer for change or whatever, I don’t know. Help me please.
Austin Ross
bumping my post
Christopher Roberts
Dump her completly. She absoloutly in some way touched sucked And fucked him whenever she was feeling low.
In her head she is most likely in full chess mode trying to see if she can get her relationships to work anyway.
Dump her and block her. Blocking someone compleltly cucks their hierarchy of you. In 6 days of being blocked she will want to spend time with you over him.
It will be like drowing a cat no matter what. You need to drown that cat. Or you will find your mind like lands stalked by her sway on you
Peace
Carter Harris
Whenever we are close to anything bad happening, aka it ending she talks about suicide and how I'm to blame for it because I'm not supportive enough and when I express my problems that I'm just attacking her, so it has me in a bind.
Aiden Roberts
>*To claim I think anyone should be friends with any gender, you shouldn’t cut yourself of from half the world for dating someone, that's unfair* You invite shit like this, then.
That reasoning would be fine in an ideal world. Guess what we don't live in?
Anthony Brown
Dump the bitch. Face it, man, in her eyes you're old news.
Dump her and don't take any shit. This is how you end up raising another man's kid.
Oliver Bennett
I am friends with plenty of girls, its only fair to treat your partner with the same respect and not fear about them, because without trust a relationship can't work. IMO
Andrew Sullivan
Whenever we are close to anything bad happening, aka it ending the relationship and etc she talks about suicide and how I'm to blame for it because I'm not supportive enough and when I express my problems that I'm just attacking her, so it has me in a bind.
Noah Morales
Not really a bind, man.
You fucking dump her and refuse to contact her.
She's cheating and she's been cheating. Next time be more wary of male friends.
Hudson Martinez
yeah. but it can always be so much harder than just saying dump her.
Mason Parker
Every single gf every threatens suicide
Josiah Thompson
do they? She's my first serious relationship.
Daniel James
They've definitely got chemistry and she thinks of him in romantic ways. Her pushing you away, accusing you of cheating, growing colder and creating distance show that she's made her decision. She's more interested in keeping him then you. Instead of making the hard decision of breaking up she turns the relationship sour, arguing and creating insecurities inside you. That way nothing you do is right anymore, you'll slip often and she'll find reasons to justify her feelings towards him and actions against you in retrospect. If I were you I'd walk over to her place, tell her it's over, give her stuff back, take mine and leave. Don't argue, don't try to fight for her, just say that you've come to end the relationship and the moment you walk out the door again it's over. After you walk out block her on every device so she can't contact you. This girl has already stabbed you in the back.
I tell you this as someone who's done it himself and who it was done to.
Logan Sullivan
thats, the best advice I've gotten, thank you, it really does help.
Isaiah Bailey
Nah man normal people don't do that.
My father has a similar way for arguing with my mother. Everything wrong in his live is supposedly caused by her not being good enough or not being able to support him enough. It's plain wrong and the most destructive way of arguing with people in my experience. The only thing it does is hurt the other person as much as possible
Parker Richardson
You'll just have to kill yourself my friend
Asher Gray
I don't have any advice but this thread hurt to read. One day you're going to look back on this and laugh at yourself. This girl is mad immature and has a questionable character. You really do teach people how to treat you.
Elijah Nelson
Glad I could help. I saw my old self from a few years ago in that story. It will heal like all other wounds heal and you'll bounce back from it. Just keep friends and family close now and give it some time.
Leo Taylor
threatening suicide is very abusive
Cooper Perez
Listen to this user Threatening suicide to get her way is the biggest red flag in your story. She's using it to manipulate you and it works every time. If you do end it with her permanently and she pulls the suicide card again, just inform her friends and/or family about it and ask they watch out for her. You're not responsible for her behavior and you don't have to acquiesce to her demands anymore
Isaac Scott
no, it fucking cant. fucking block/ghost her, fucking retard. if she tries to talk to you ignore. if you can't do that, looks like you'll have to kill yourself, fag.
