Did I Fuck Up

I just got fired from the job I thought I was going to retire from. I had been there a few years, slowly moving up, I was a manager. I started chasing after one of the younger girls working below me and she ended up cheating on her boyfriend with me.. Then somehow HR caught wind of our relationship, and that she had been staying at my house, and I just got fired. Did I fuck up? How badly?

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Pretty badly. This can go a lot of ways, not the least of which being that by use of your position you had blackmailed her into sex.

Yup, you gon dun fucked up OP, fucked up real good. I would say that the best course of action is to find another job identical to yours, but I don't think you could use them as a reference now, but you can't NOT use them because then there's a suspicious gap in your employment history.

Yep, you dun goofed. Don't shit where you eat.

But she came over willingly? We just slowly started flirting more and more at work and hanging out outside of work..I don't think I blackmailed her?

Do you think potential employers will have to find out about this??

Yep, that’s what got you fired. On the plus side, they aren’t allowed to tell your next employee why you were fired. Also you’re still eligible for unemployment.

Next employer, I mean. They cannot tell them anything on reference.

>can't tell them
Are you sure?? I admitted to directly violating the fraternization policy

I would just put down a friend from there as my immediate supervisor with their cell phone number as the way to contact them. Clear it with the friend first of course.

Yeah great, tell him to keep acting like garbage

Oh shit I thought they could, I mean if they ask the employer why they were let go the have to tell them something, I figure the potential employer would poke and prod until the truth came out. Illegal or not, they'd find out and not hire him due to some other legal excuse.

>She came over willingly
And so long as that's HER narrative too, you're fine.
So plan for the instance in which it isn't. Fortune favours the prepared.

Well, her now ex-boyfriend kicked her out of the house when he found out and she's basically been staying at my house ever since.. I don't see her turning on me

In many cases it’s against the law for them to tell why you left. Because of that, if the employer said nothing in some cases and positive things in others, the employer saying nothing would be telling the new employer that the employee was bad... which would be illegal. Moreover, most HR departments have concluded that it creates an unacceptable liability to even say it if it were legal.

The new employer also doesn’t want to find out necessarily because finding out derogatory information through an illegal means, and making an employment decision based on that means you could sue the employer.

I know, how would you find out? Well these nuisance lawsuits happen enough that most HR departments don’t even bother. When bad shit comes out in discovery, it costs way too much. This, by the way, is why employers stopped asking for social media accounts as part of the preemployment screening process; it’s way too easy to, say, find out the candidate is gay or Muslim and then create an impression that you don’t hire gays or Muslims.

Nah. It’s standaed business practice for HR only to confirm that you worked there and the dates of employment. They literally do not give anything else.

>On the plus side, they aren’t allowed to tell your next employee why you were fired
While this is true, depending on the industry word gets around and people do talk. Ultimately this could prevent you from getting hired. It's not entirely ethical but it happens and it's usually not on an HR level but within management who will be reluctant to to move the HR process along and stomp out your progress of getting hired. I work in gas/oil and I'm always surprised how well people within my region know each other. There's very little degree of separation. Someone typically knows someone who know that person.

Yes this is true, but it’s not nearly as common as you might think.

You're right, it's not common, but ultimately you shouldn't do anything to sully your reputation in any career orientated job and I think that's the final take away because you don't know what will follow you.

Oh absolutely, I agree. OP’s already a little past that point of course.

Bump

I guess I probably can't get a job back with the same company ever again?

Eh. I don’t know. It depends on the company. I’d spend some time working elsewhere though (at least 3 years).

nope

No he's not fine. At the very least, he also broke company policy. Anyone on the outside might also think that he pressured or manipulated her into saying that too. There's no recovering from this, at least with this company

And OP, if you're going to get yourself fired from a job you seem to have valued that much, you don't deserve to work there. Your actions speak louder than words

>And OP, if you're going to get yourself fired from a job you seem to have valued that much, you don't deserve to work there. Your actions speak louder than words

dubs speaks the word of god

If he was in a position of power over her, it’s definitely fatal. If they were just random coworkers, it depends on the company.

It's literally in the OP that he was a manager and that she worked under him. He fucked up, and in the stupidest way possible. There's no excuse for thinking with your dick here

I was her manager and I'm a few years older than her...

Why don't I deserve to work there? I worked hard, I don't see how I hurt anyone

>Why don't I deserve to work there? I worked hard, I don't see how I hurt anyone
Well for starters, you admitted to blatantly disregarding a company policy. Not to mention, if it was a job you truly valued, then you wouldn't have done something this fundamentally stupid. Its not hard not to fuck someone who works below you, and it's not difficult to see how it looks to people on the outside. You've shown a) you're not loyal to the company and b) you're too dumb to work for the company.

>I was her manager and I'm a few years older than her...
You’re not working there again because you’re a sexual harassment lawsuit risk.

different user but

If you fucked a subordinate of yours THEN YOU DON'T DESERVE TO WORK THERE, that's a SEVERE breach of company AND ethical policy, if you seriously can't see the problem with this then I'm GLAD they shitcanned you and I'd never hire your ass either. If you REALLY cared then you wouldn't have fucked around idiot.

This guy takes shit way too seriously. Company policies are often unfair and unreasonable. In many cases, fraternization policies are considered stupid and not followed. What matters here is the power gap, which means the girl can sue the company. That’s ALL that matters.

>dating a subordinate is unethical
Oh god almighty grow the fuck up. It’s just a litigation risk. It’s an unacceptable one, and because of that he won’t get hired again, but that’s ALL it is.

I don't think she's going to try to sue me, like I said she's been staying at my house most of the time since she got kicked out. She also got fired from the same company (before me, not for this. For being late while sleeping at my house)

Now you know first hand why people are advised not to date coworkers especially subordinate coworkers. Don't shit where you eat

Do you even know what favoritism or nepotism is? If OP really cared about his career and company he wouldn't have don it.

Are you even reading the shit your posting? Do you realize that all your doing is trying to rationalize your actions after the fact to justify your firing? Grow the fuck up already and take responsibility for what you've done instead of blaming company politics that have been put into place in every reputable company in the modern world, I'd be more willing to believe their collective experience versus one guy who wanted to get his rocks off with some young slut.

I'm out, you're too delusional to accept any real advice, no reason for me to return to this thread.

> Losing your job for some whore pussy
lmfao got job at cucking yourself

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But that's not me

Want to explain how that's cucking myself?? Sounds like she wanted to cheat

You decided that fucking a cheating whore was worth losing your job over. You cucked yourself.

I didn't expect to lose my job over this. I feel like someone must have overheard something, or the boyfriend reported it..

Well you got what you deserved either way.

So you thought it was okay as long as you didn't get caught?

I mean, kind of? What does it hurt if I fuck some dumb girl I meet at work? I was a hard worker
Yeah thanks like you've never done anything wrong

>all these incel-tier cucks crying because op got some young pussy in it's prime

Lmao keep it going bros.

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lol shay cmon son

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