Help

I'm in a relationship where I don't know why I'm so unhappy. Or, I feel like everything and nothing is wrong. My boyfriend is very intelligent, but he can be very cold and distant sometimes. He also has "an eye for an eye"- mentality. So if I'm cranky one day (on my period or something), I feel like he's being moody only because I am. And I just want someone to be there for me in that particular situation. We fight often, I feel like I have started to resent him because I dont feel like he's giving me enough. I feel like I do all the heavy lifting in the relationship, and he's too lazy to give the same back - or he just doesent know how. I dont think he's a bad guy (even though he can be an asshole sometimes), but I just think we have different worldviews. We really love each other, but I am starting to become very miserable. I feel like I have done some really huge things for him, and he can't even do "small" things back (for example he knows how much my birthday means to me, and last birthday he didnt give me anything because he didn't know what, and everything he thought of was "cringy" to him). While I literally have risked many things for him and provided him a better life (he is from another country where life conditions are shitty). Idk, I just feel like I'm not appreciated and that we don't understand each other. What shall I do??

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This sounds like it calls for the most basic yet most effective solution when to comes to relationship advice:

Have you tried talking to them about this? Like everything you just said, parrot it back to him.

You just listed a load of reasons you're unhappy and no reasons to stay. If you want to keep the relationship, talk about how you feel with him. If you don't, end it.

It's hard to be anything but cold with somebody when they're being angry or grumpy with you. Even though you've made the connection that you're mad because you're on your period, he doesn't get that, so as far as he's concerned he just has to be around someone who is being a bit of a bitch. That is going to take its toll after a few hours of trying to cheer you up.

It sounds like you're feeling unappreciated and unfulfilled in your current relationship. This could be because you're both incompatible, or it could be that your expectations of him are too high.

I'm not judging you for this - I put a lot of effort into my relationship but my boyfriend is very low maintenance himself. It took me years to realise that we just have different ideas of how to express love and gratitude to each other. It doesn't necessarily mean your boyfriend doesn't care for you, but perhaps you need to be clearer about what you want and need in order to feel happier in the relationship.

You have to both get on the same page for things, does he understand that you feel like you're doing all the heavy lifting or is it a situation where both of you believe you are doing more than the other. If you don't see on the same page you will just be butting heads with each other and end up resenting each other because of it. Fights aren't always bad if they are productive and you are both able to understand each others point of view. He could be using you or it could end up being the best relationship of your life. Like what everyone else said, talk about how you feel with him.

I have tried talking to him, we have had "the talk" millions of times, and every time we say it will be better next time. It just feels like when we are in a heated discussion (which often happens over small things), everything just gets out of hand..

He always convinces me that he loves me and that he is just wired differently. The "scary" thing is that I dont think I will find someone who is a better fit for me, because I will admit, I am also demanding.. We are a great couple when things are good, but I feel like a single stupid thing can get us fighting

Of course, people do have different ideas of how to express love - but I dont get his. We have talked a million times, but it all just comes back

We always joke about him being autistic, or he's just an asshole - but I'm starting to wonder if he is either autistic or just an asshole. It started out as a joke, but I cant seem to understand his behaviour.
The problem is - I have had some mental problems (still have them), and he often says I'm delusional and such. So, I dont know where the problem lays - in me or in him - or maybe both.

Sounds like it's time to split then, if you've talked about this many times and he's promised change and nothings changed, it's time to let go.

And do NOT worry about being too demanding, you have no idea how many neckbeards there are here and out in the world that want nothing more than to appeal to the every whim of a pretty girl (assuming you're attractive).

The problem is not the fight itself, but mean language, curse words etc, feels kinda like bullying. Its awful, and we both do it - but I feel like he is pushing me to be mean to him