I don't trust my girlfriend. I reliased the depths of that this week, and it feels really weird. For starters, I'm not a jealous person at all - I never had any jealousy problem with my previous girlfriend. But its simply hard to trust my current girlfriend...
>she's very slutty >she wants sex all the time >she gets mad/upset/weird when we don't have sex >she seems great at sabotaging her own relationships >she gets drunk really easily >she casually says shit that only reinforce all the impressions mentioned above
She is really nice and I really like her, and I know she's sincere when she says she also likes me. But deep inside I worry that if I stay away from her for only a few days, she might do something stupid, which in turn will make me not want to be with her anymore, and ruin things for us. I want to avoid this because we are great together. So what should I do? Should I talk to her about this? Should I just let it be? Should I just give up?
Btw, she has planned a trip to go to some Oktoberfest with some coworkers sometime this year, and staying a few days away on a trip with heavy drinking seems that is 100% likely that she will cheat. I hate this, but I feel like I should tell her she shouldn't go...
>denying her sex You may want to have your low test problem checked out.
Non-meme reponse: Relationship where people have different libidos don't work out.
Liam Russell
Can't you just.... Ask to go on the trip with her? What makes her seem slutty? Is it a crime that she loves your dick?
Juan Myers
>You may want to have your low test problem checked out. I don't deny her sex, but ultimately there will be times when we might be apart for a week or something.
>Relationship where people have different libidos don't work out. We don't have exactly the same, but I can keep up. Its not a problem when we are together. its when we are not together that I worry.
>Can't you just.... Ask to go on the trip with her? I don't want to. Its quite expensive, and I'm saving money for something I want for a long time. Also, I don't think that following her everywhere because I'm afraid to leave her by herself seems like a good solution. And going to places I don't want to won't really help the relationship much.
>What makes her seem slutty? Is it a crime that she loves your dick? She simply is. There's nothing wrong with that. Even she says that she's slutty, and on the first two months she used to say she missed going out and being a slut and stuff like that. The problem is not that she likes sex, or anything she might have done before we met (since thats none of my business, and honestly, i don't care). The issue is the combination of that and the fact she seems to struggle not to fuck up the relationship.
Example: > she had a crush on a guy before meeting me > we started dating, and we get serious > one day she sends me a message "sorry i need to tell you something. that guy i was into texted me asking me out and i said yes, i don't know why i did it but i cancelled later but i feel horrible for ever accepting going out with him"
Dylan Carter
She lacks self-control. She is probably trying to stay faithful to you but may stray given the opportunity. I wouldn't try to control where she goes but be on your guard when it comes to these things. I don't think the relationship will end up working out though, something always goes wrong with these types of people.
Jackson Ramirez
I can understand where you are coming from. I too have a gf which has a slutty past. However she was always monogamous and faithful in both relationships and fwb arrangements. Furthermore she enjoys drinking and does get pretty horny from it, however she only drinks together with her best friend at her place or sometimes with me.
Ultimately you have to talk to her about it, sort our you fears and see if you can trust her.
Cooper Hall
Honestly, slutty or not, she seems immature. Saying she missed being a slut is fucking dumb. Saying yes (even if she canceled) is fucking dumb. A mature partner wouldn't give you a reason to be concerned at all. Being insecure about her is one thing, but her openly telling you she missed fucking around and then telling him she'd go out is disrespectful and shows she likes attention more than she likes you. You can try talking to her, because that's always recommended first, but I don't have high hopes for this one.
Lincoln Lopez
>She lacks self-control. She is probably trying to stay faithful to you but may stray given the opportunity. Yes, I know that. But i'm really not the forgiven type.
>I wouldn't try to control where she goes but be on your guard when it comes to these things. The thing is, I really hate this idea of controlling someone like that, but this trip seems off. She literally said she wanted to go to get drunk and slut out (if that wording even exist in english), and then asked if I wanted to go with her. I said no, because I honestly don't feel like going. But I mean... she's really putting me on a hard spot about this thing...
>I don't think the relationship will end up working out though Most relationships end sometime. Ours probably will, eventually. But I do want it to last as long as possible, because like I said, she's awesome and its awesome when we are together.
>I too have a gf which has a slutty past. I honestly don't care about her past. I don't ask about it, because I don't feel like I she doesn't own me anything about what she did before we were together.
>Ultimately you have to talk to her about it, sort our you fears and see if you can trust her. But in the end, it doesn't depends only on me. I probably will feel like crap if I don't trust her and she cheats on me. And maybe if she knows about that, it will prevent her from ever cheating. But also maybe it will just prevent her from telling me if she does... which is not something I want
Luke Diaz
If you don’t trust her, you can’t build a stable relationship. You either have to talk to her to reach an understanding or drop her if you can’t settle your suspicions
Austin Scott
She seems like a good open relationship gf. If you can't keep her might as well share her
Dominic Perez
>she seems immature > is disrespectful and shows she likes attention more than she likes you I wouldn't classify her as plain "immature". I honestly think she's struggling with this, and maybe it would be immature of ME not to help her with that. And I also don't think she's seeking attention because I already give her plenty of attention. But she's the sort of person who just says what is on her mind without much planning ahead, so that's likely why she said those things.
>If you don’t trust her, you can’t build a stable relationship. You either have to talk to her to reach an understanding or drop her if you can’t settle your suspicions My goal is to enjoy what we have as long as possible, but I also want things to end (when they do) in good terms so I can have good memories about it. So that divides me between either breaking up with her before she does something like that, or try to hope she just won't.
Jordan Bennett
>She seems like a good open relationship gf. If you can't keep her might as well share her If I could deal with that, I wouldn't be worried about her eventually being with someone else. But being on an open relationship with her will probably mean she might be with someone else's anytime she is not with me, which is not something I want
Joshua Davis
Also, I know I should talk to her. But should I do it now? Or should I wait a while so we have this talk when she's more engaged into the relationship and will be more willing to try to work it out?
Gabriel Peterson
If she was struggling, she'd be the one sitting down to talk with you. She'd tell you that she wants to be committed to you but she's struggling. You THINK she's struggling - you don't know because she hasn't initiated the conversation. And it is immature to say yes to him, and she's clearly seeking the sexual attention she got from others by saying yes and saying she misses being slutty. It doesn't matter if you give her all the attention in the world if she misses the attention from other people. Please trust me on this. I cheated on a high school boyfriend for this exact reason, I was cheated on by different people in college for this exact reason. I'm now happily married with a partner that is mature and respects me, and I respect my partner, and we have open communication and a very healthy and committed sex life. I don't say this to shit on your girlfriend. I'm genuinely trying to help. If she's not engaged in the relationship now or willing to work on it, it doesn't seem like much of a relationship.
Caleb Gonzalez
I get upset when my boyfriend and I don't have sex. I also get drunk really easily and I am very good at sabotaging relationships (often due to self deprecation though). I also want sex all the time.
I would never, ever cheat on my boyfriend though. I love him far too much to risk losing him and I try to reassure him as much as I can. He has no worries about me and trusts me implicitly.
Have you tried sitting down with your girlfriend and discussing how you feel? You don't necessarily have to tell her you think she might cheat, but tell her you're worried about her behaviour sometimes.
She might never cheat, and by assuming it's inevitable, it's probably more likely to happen. Speak to her and if you're still worried, you may need to accept that you're just compatible.
Asher Sanders
>If she was struggling, she'd be the one sitting down to talk with you she actually said she's struggling with this she also said she knows she's often self-sabotaging herself
>she's clearly seeking the sexual attention she got from others by saying yes if that was the case, why would she even mention that to me? at the same time she self-sabotages herself, she also sabotages her self-sabotaging, which for me is yet another reason to think she's struggling with it
>Please trust me on this At the same time i want to say "i know her better than you do", it also seems exactly like someone who will get cheated on would say.
>respects me, and I respect my partner, and we have open communication and a very healthy and committed sex life she respects me, and we mostly have good open communication. In fact, I feel a bit bad for not raising this issue before, because we usually talk about everything
Also, there's other factors. I want to help her. i don't think we will be together forever, so she will likely face the same problems on future relationships. So I honestly want her to overcome her self-sabotaging tendencies and get better at relationships, so both that our thing can work longer and that her future relationships maybe also flourish, so that eventually she will find someone and marry that someone and etc
Also2, do you think it is too obvious asking her if she ever cheated on her ex?
Noah Bailey
>she wants sex all the time >she's very slutty
Man, if she wants to fuck you, just enjoy the ride since it is highly likely that you are the only guy to be fucked. But if you notice sex fades away and disappears, then start to pay attentiin immediately. Been here, done that.
Christopher Robinson
>attention fix
By the way, has she given any reason to think oherwise recently?
Christopher Gutierrez
anytime a chick goes away on a vacay by herself your ass is dead to her.
you obviously aint giving her enough vitamin D WTF are posting this dumb shit for? go start getting some right now! before she leaves dingus
Benjamin Lee
Yes, I agree with that. I'm not worried about right now because we always see each other and we have a good sex life. But the problem is that I can't be there 100% of the time. For instance, if either one of us travel without the other, we might be a week apart, that's when I worry things might go sour.
>By the way, has she given any reason to think oherwise recently? Otherwise what?
Xavier Ortiz
Would she be behaving bad? Mentions other guys, demeans you, acts colder than before, generally what would you describe as bad behaviour?
OK, going to the trip with guys and alcohol is a serious danger. I would be mentally prepared to swap the girl.
Evan Myers
Fuck off fox.
John Parker
Sorry, had to go to bed
>Would she be behaving bad? Mentions other guys, demeans you, acts colder than before, generally what would you describe as bad behaviour? No. She does ocasionally mentions other guys but because she doesn't have much a filter about what she says or don't say. But she doesn't demean me in anyway, she actually has been acting warmer than before (because even though she struggled, it seems she finally accepted that she does like me more than just for my penis). I feel very confortable when i'm around her.
>OK, going to the trip with guys and alcohol is a serious danger. That is why I worry...
>I would be mentally prepared to swap the girl. I always am. That is one of MY problems. I'm very unforgiven, and I get unattached really easily. I give up on relationships easily, and I don't want to waste potential relationships anymore just because of I gave up. But I know I'm unforgiven as hell, so if she does something that bothers me, I know my natural reaction will be just to cut ties and stop liking her immediatly. That is why I'm worrying beforehand - since I don't want to give up on her, I don't want her to give me a reason to.
Tyler Barnes
I understand. In your case I would pay an attention to her behaviour after the trip. If it changes dramatically, goes colder and avoids confrontation, start to "nag" her asking what's wrong.
