ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

>but this one is confusing

Personally I'd say you're entitled to bring this up with her, using these things as examples of why it's confusing you. You can and should be nice about it if you'd like it to continue, stress that it's your issue and you just want some clarity/that you just want to be friends/that you want to be more than friends/whatever it is that you're trying to say you want in this situation.

>porn and bating
>cant get it up sometimes with gf, if I can I can't cum
>quit porn
>diamonds every time but cum in minutes

How do I enhance stamina?

How do I invite someone I only know online but lives near me to hang out?

I'm being ignored by a girl who I've talked to for months and felt like I was getting to know well. We would text a lot and she opened up a lot to me when we would hang out the few times we did but when it finally came to making out I was a inexperienced dipshit but she knew beforehand I was a virgin that needed experience. She would be pretty open minded to me usually about my life and say talking could fix things but after this situation she seemed annoyed with me that I was awkward during it but continued to act friendly while we were still hanging out. She didn't bother to text me afterwards when she usually did so I sent an admittedly cringy text to her a few days later to try and clear up my actions which was ignored and It's been nearly a week now.

Based on this should I just move on or should I make an attempt to ask her what her perspective of things are now? I'm just confused and feel shitty everything could be tossed in the trash this easily over this when she was so open before.

She wanted to tell me her feelings before we hang out together again, so I think we will see each other in person...it was in the back of my mind the entire time that I'm sadly too grown up for my age (21, grew up rough) and she is pretty innocent (18, grew up bouncing around military bases with family). I was honest with her and told her that I planned to put being friends on the table next time we hung out anyway, as I have my depression and lack of a family to deal with as baggage and I don't blame anyone for not wanting that in their lives. Frankly I don't feel capable of a relationship, I think friends is good. I like her too much to fuck and never talk again.

Real talk though, you can't go back to being just friends with someone whose nipples you've sucked. There will always be a sexual tension between you now.

I'm only good at niche video games and music and it makes it difficult to talk to women about things. I'm not unattractive and I front pretty well as a normie but when it comes to talking to people I can't talk much.

How do I talk to qts when I don't know to conversate

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HOW CAN I GET MY COCK SUCKED OR A HANDJOB FROM A CHICK?

practice

Best ways to sweeten a man over Skype and text?

I'm a girl BTW.

Why do girls sarcastically flirt? I'm an autist it's already hard enough to tell when you're flirting or not.

Just compliment his looks with honesty and be playful with him a lot.

If she hasn't responded to any of your other messages then she's not going to respond to more of them.

Thanks, this made me smirk like an idiot because of the delivery. You're probably right, I think it'll be harder for her than for me, the combo of my mental state and pills makes me pretty numb. It's been a tough day, I hope all is well with you.

Pay

Besides paying or forced sex, how can I?

I only sent her that single text which I didn't feel like really opened up much for a response like me asking her a question would but I suppose if her interest was still there she would've made an effort to say something by now.

"So when are we going to hang out?" vs. asking to hang out normally?

Flirt with women until you find one that is willing to act on it

Do it normally and don't be a retard.

How do I not be a retard?

Never works. People act like I'm a gremlin in person but I get foreign LDRs online and compliments from overseas girls.

He's a pretty quiet and reserved guy. Do you think it will work on him?

As long as you don't make anything up, yes. But if you pick a feature of his that's either ugly or completely average to compliment, he might brood over it.

Based

Don't be creepy IRL

Goils:
What colour lipstick makes a man just irresistible ?

I'm not. I live in Cousinfuckensas so maybe I don't fit in with country girls and hoodrats.

You need to adapt to your prey.

Yes. Nothing wrong with your attitude.

So I should tell him: "You have a beautiful soul." Because, that's what I find most attractive about him.

Yes. Nothing. I like goth chicks and I sport a mohawk and wear band tees. These girls aren't even my type.

I am at odds with myself. I want companionship but I know and believe firmly that people are not things to be wanted. I know well the anxiety and stress that can come from having to turn someone away, or to have a difficult conversation, and how they can be unpredictable or even dangerous. I never ever want to do that to someone if I can help it, but I don't want to die alone. I wish I could make myself accept that I always have been and always will be alone and that people aren't things, but it is a base urge that I can't rid myself of. It hurts but I have to fight it; anything else is to become an animal. I don't know what to do.

It depends how well you know each other, and what his personality is like beyond just being introverted. I doubt he'll be offended or upset by you no matter what, so don't worry about that, but some personality types would either find it very sappy and not know how to deal with it, or would brood over it in private because they don't agree with the compliment. However, I say this from my experience, and I also doubt that this guy is anything like me.

The bottom line is that you don't have much to lose by saying your feelings.

I don't see why I should move to New York, Seattle, Portland, or Los Angeles, just to be found attractive and to get a date.

> I want companionship but I know and believe firmly that people are not things to be wanted.
This probably stems from one of the biggest mistakes of modern thought--an emphasis on and primacy of the individual. People already inherently understand how to act as individuals, so no further justification will help in that regard--it often makes things much worse for some, as in your case, because thinking about our desires comes off as extremely selfish and narcissistic. For example, in the case of relationships, I'm sure you've heard (if you're in the US, at least) and been put off by conservative Christian speakers talking about what they want in a wife: it usually goes like
>"I want a wife who keeps a clean home, raises our children, and has a warm meal ready when I get home from work"
which sounds blatantly self-centered. But this is because we've been conditioned to think only in individual terms. In reality, a relationship is a partnership, and neither partner is properly an independent unit. When you say you want companionship, think in terms of the ideal of said partnership itself, not in terms of whichever person shares it.

tl;dr companionship should be desired as a shared value, not just a person

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To add on to the example I gave--it would sound just as bad at first glance if a woman said
>"I want a husband who works 80 hours a week so I don't have to"
because it is a statement of desire alone, without any regard for reciprocity or the relationship itself.

It's that bad? Just move out of the South and find girls your type in person.

I see the point you are trying to make but I am not sure that is quite it. I feel guilty and selfish for even wanting companionship at all. I feel like some kind of monster. That's not who I want to be, but no matter how hard I try I can't change that, only contain it. Maybe that's enough?

>"I want an other who does X and Y and Z"
I don't know how to articulate this well, but even that feels somehow less selfish than "I want an other so I don't have to cope with loneliness." Like I am some kind of social parasite.

There's a 50/50 chance the girl I ask out next week will either say she's single or just turn down the invite to a date.

Is it okay to then ask her why she told me she had such strong feelings for me and how she told me it was crystal clear to her that we are meant to be more than friends and shit like that, only for her to refuse any attempt at forging a romantic relationship? At this point, I'm just more curious than anything about what would drive someone to lie about something like that.

How do I bring up a to a girl that I'm dating that I currently live with my parents? I'm finishing up university right now and planning to move to a different state after I graduate so I'm in the process of saving money for that plan. Should I just kind of mention it casually or let it come down to when she asks? Would most girls be put off by the fact I live at home?

i'm an ugly fat idiot with daddy issues and an ED with a boyfriend who needs to leave me so i can kill myself

This isn't the get it off your chest thread lad

>Is it okay to then ask her why
No, she's a stupid vapid whore that's playing with your emotions you fucking idiot. Get her out of your head. You will dwell on her stupid answer and it will mean less than nothing. Forget. About. Her.

Easier said than done. It's not like she's just some girl I met a month ago. We've been friends for years now.

>is it okay to ask her why she is rejecting me?
no it is very confrontational and honestly creepy

I'm not asking why she's rejecting me. I'm asking why she told me all that shit.

Of course it's easier said than done, who ever said what's healthy for you was easy? Now you always have the easy option of continuing to orbit and waiting for her to toy with you some more next time she needs validation.

of course it's ok to ask that. why wouldn't it be?

>Based on this should I just move on or should I make an attempt to ask her what her perspective of things are now?

Move on. Period.

>I'm just confused and feel shitty everything could be tossed in the trash this easily over this when she was so open before.

There’s a limit to everything. As a former kid with no experience, I can more or less read between the lines and guess what went down.. and in short, your insecurity became obnoxious and a pain in the ass to deal with.

Dealing with someone that’s inexperienced is actually not that bad, it dealing with someone who’s doubting themselves every 5mi utes and needed constant moment to moment reassurance every single action they take? You want your partner to AT LEAST be an equal, not a child you feel like you have to baby and tell what to do every single step of the way.

Deal with your shit and grow your own self confidence.

>Why do girls sarcastically flirt? I'm an autist it's already hard enough to tell when you're flirting or not.

Not a chick, but as someone who is both highly sarcastic and flirty... why not? Honestly, half the fun of flirting is the uncertainty behind it, and if that’s not your cup of tea, then clearly you’re not going to get along with that person anyway since you’re temperments and senses of humor probably don’t match up.

>"So when are we going to hang out?"
Is a line people drop when they’re not really serious about hanging out. Its a “Hey wouldn’t it be cool if...” casual/speculative statement with no commitment or seriousness about it.

How do you make a girl break down and cry?

Have some kind of position of power over her where you have what she wants, then yell at her. Women use tears as a tool to get what they want, they can't feel actual sorrow like men.

Stop talking to her.

Not the user tat you’re replying to, but there’s absolutely no way that you can say that line after being rejected without sounding like a whiny bitch that’s butthurt as all hell.

They’re right, it’s confrontational in a pretty passive aggressive and creepy way. Like you’re trying to guilt tem in to changing their mind or like you feel like you’ve got some entitlement to them having to like you.

Been seeing her for a month. 4 times a week. Both have feels, agreed to be exclusive etc and I know she wants a relationship BUT has said she wants to see me with my mates and how I act around them before its official?

Last night she got weird with me after sex and I could tell she wanted to say something to me. I asked her a bit to tell and she said "its too soon" so I made some jokes and we fell asleep.

I have brought up feels talks with her twice so far which she responded equally to but I don't know what to do next. I'll invite her to chill with some mates soon but after that, should I just play it cool and wait for her to initiate the bf/gf talk?

I feel like she wanted to say some mushy shit last night but chickened out. She even was a bit insecure when I first got to her's and was asking what I've been doing and said she feels like I'm hiding something.

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make her dependent fully on you and threaten to take away the safety you have given her. she will use tears to play off your emotions.

what on earth is this delusion?

Since guys can't fix our face (except plastic surgery) what's the next best attribute to get a girl?

Why are women contradictory in what they want in a mate? Here you are here, preaching how you want a man who is respectful, caring and understands you, but in reality seeks the most selfish arrogant man who stirs you up deep down, why should i bother to make myself an 'ideal' man when it's a waste of time?

pic related

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because how else do you expect to fool a girl into thinking you are who you present yourself to be long enough to fall for you so you can toss her aside when you inevitably get bored with what you said you wanted?

rephrase please?

>Why not
I guess because it just feels insulting. Like it's bad enough I don't really get hit on normally but then someone comes up and does it to you for a joke.

Then that’s not flirting, that’s called making fun of you, which falls under this category of the FAQ:

>>This person did something that hurt my feelings. Why do guys/girls do this?
>Because shit people are shit people. It's not a gendered thing.

Filling in a birthday card for a friend of mine that I dated briefly. There's a good chance it's the last time I'll see her too.

Is it too weird/corny to write some message like "I'm glad we met" or some shit in it? Feels weird because of the brief dating, like I'm trying to get her feeling things again or some shit.

My ldr bf keeps pressing on his ex crush on random conversations because he believes I should get over it
He says stuff how easy it would be to fuck x girl or how he would be probably dating y girl if he wasn’t dating me
I asked him to do whatever he wants as long he doesn’t cheat on me and stop talking about these girls to me
But he keeps bringing back because “I would never cheat on you ! You have to trust me” it’s not like I believe he will but it’s extremely hurtful when he does
It’s wrong for me to just ask him to not talk about it with me also it’s wrong for me to not wanting to become friends with his friends? I realize I’m really insecure but I’m far away and I don’t want to think about other girls close to him that are more attractive than me
He works part time and doesn’t go to college he works at a small company related to graphic design

He's treating you mean to keep you keen. Tell him to stop.

I have told him before he starts to ramble a self pity party
It’s not like I don’t pay attention to him or ask about his day/work every day

This. Letting a girl you are going out with know that you still have options keeps them in check. It's proven.
Now he could be going over board with it but my general advice to you is just deal with it. As long as he hasn't given you a reason to not trust him it all just talk. Doesn't really hurt anything. He's with you so there is no reason to be insecure. Also him letting you know what he's dealing with, is honest. If he was keeping it a secret then there would be something to worry about.

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>He says stuff how easy it would be to fuck x girl or how he would be probably dating y girl if he wasn’t dating me

Drop.

That’s a fucking air raid siren of a warning.

Dudes got his own issues and he’s either passive aggresively take it out on you, or has absolutely no respect for you and is trying to chip away at your self-confidence so he can sage his own insecurities.

Either way, he’s toxic for you.

Now you’re probably going toignore this post because you think you love him, or you don’t want to be alone, or he doesn’t mean it, or whatever. But the truth is, in the long run this relationship will only ever get worse for you the longer this goes on.

Get out.

Ive seen and tried to stop friends from continuing to walk the path you’re taking (which is why I know that there’s a 95% chance you’re going to ignore this) because it never really ends any other way than bad.

This an "ask the opposite gender" thread. You are not the opposite gender.

I remember you from last thread.
Big point to take home is quit expecting a mind reader.
Additional point, there's a healthy balance between 500 cal a day ana, and gaining ten lbs in a year

Unless that was a dude asking about his boyfriend, I am indeed the opposite gender.

Just pretty fucking annoyed and triggered because there was a point in my life where vividly remember I feeling like I had three girlfriends at once because, in addition to my real girlfriend adjusting to a new BC and getting horomonal, a friend I think of like a little sister was dating some guy who was mentally unstable and PTSD to hell and back from being a child fucking soldier, and would pull mind games all fucking day because of his own insecurities and issues. Simultaneously, my closest female friend of a decade was having her own relationship problems where SHE was the one acting fucking crazy because she was feeling pretty fucking self loathing, and she knew it, but see end up taking it out in her partner anyway.

I swear, I felt like my head was going to fucking explode and it still gets my fucking heart pressure up that I couldn’t just tell them to pull their heads out of their fucking asses and just leave.

I still get triggered over that shit.

the girl in that image was a narcissist, and you are suffering from delusions.

lucidphilosophy.com/7-cherry-picking/
lucidphilosophy.com/15-hasty-generalization/

Stop asssuming genders or i will call the swjs police squad!

>LDR
Like clockwork. Find real bf you can see in person, cuddle and hold hands with.

>interacting with ex
Stop that. Live your own life. You own her nothing.

Women dont do logic, they do feelings. If you dont believe me, google about how their mate preference changes based on their ovulation cycle. During ovulation women find buff aggresive assertive"chads" more attractive. Other times they find nonthreatening feminine men more attractive.

If you are man, nobody cares about your face. It is all about being confident, assertive, having social gains and asking girls on dates and brushing off rejection. I bet you cant even flirt.

Ask her on more dates.
>inb4 wall of text
Trying to understand women is pointless. Maybe she wanted to tell you she has herpes. Or that she is single mother. Who cares? As long as dates are happening, it is good.

Be manly assertive man and simply state the fact. Dont have a single shred of insecuroty in your voice. If she will have any insulting notes, counter tease her with queation how many flats she owns and if you can move in with her to save rent.

Stop thinking bullshit and ask her on date.

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She's not an ex. We were never official. Just friends who went on some dates together to see if there was more there. We're still friends.

If you were truly only "friends", you wouldnt post about it here. You just secretly love her and build a facade about "friendship" so you can keep secretly orbiting her.

Move on with your life, will you? This shit isnt healthy for you. Stress kills.

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She's the one who confessed to me. I'm the one who broke off the dating. She confessed again a few weeks after I broke things off that she wasn't over me. I have the exact opposite of the problem you projected onto me.

>projecting
If only somebody wrote the real question from the start so anons wouldnt have to guess where is burried the problem...

My advice stand still. Stop leading her on, dont give her attention and mind your own life. Sending her wishing card is just another fake hope for her that you might love her back one day.

You cant be friends with people who rejected your love. That shit is juat super bad fpr both sides. Move on and let her move on, will ya?

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Girls

How would you feel about your boyfriend (who’s a few years older than you, has money and settled in his career) like to take vacations abroad several times throughout the year? Most of them he goes alone because for scheduling reasons and other responsibilities you can’t often go.

Girls, what do you think of self-harm scars on a guy?

Wife told me to kill myself last night. What do?

>inb4 kys myself, we have two kids

How long would these vacations abroad be? I wouldn’t be too upset about it, depending on my boyfriends destination. Iffy he were traveling to some sketchy part of south east Asia I’d be worried.

A week or so.

Typically Europe and South America. But he is wanting to go to Australia and NZ too

I think that’s allowable. It really depends on how open and honest about your schedule you are, or wether you stay in contact with your gf over that week or not.

red flag, do not approach

Not a total deal breaker. It really depends on how far they’ve come since they harmed themselves and where they are in their life now.

Girls:

Would you still get jealous of a guy getting with other girls if you had a boyfriend?

A girl I know (that I am close with), has a long distance boyfriend, but is very attention seeking (i.e. pressing herself against me (the other night she danced on me, and recently was grabbing me and holding me as we walked home together), holding my hand, speaking only to me etc) on nights out if she hears about girls I got with that day.

fwiw I have self-harmed in the past but I would consider myself a mature, functioning adult, albeit one who was been through a few rough periods in his day. Overall it's probably made me a better and more complete person. I'm not the user who asked btw and I don't have scars, but I would say consider a person's current state over their past.

>woman seeks attention and is a shore
gee whiz someone tell the BBC