ITT: ancient shitposting
>Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
>Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates
>Amplicatus, I know that Icarus is buggering you. Salvius wrote this
>I screwed the barmaid
>Lesbianus, you defecate and you write, ‘Hello, everyone
What...the...fuck.
>Restituta, take off your tunic, please, and show us your hairy privates
Much more poetic than tits or get out!
>Theophilus, don’t perform oral sex on girls against the city wall like a dog
>What a lot of tricks you use to deceive, innkeeper. You sell water but drink unmixed wine
I.4.5 (House of the Citharist; below a drawing of a man with a large nose)
Burying the lede
>(atrium of the House of the Jews); 2409a: Stronius Stronnius knows nothing!
Oy gevalt.
Bump.
>Secundus likes to screw boys
So homosexual intercourse was NOT as accepted in ancient Rome as we have though.
Post the screencap
>(House of the Centenary; in the atrium); 5213: My lusty son, with how many women have you had sexual relations?
No.
>I.10.7 (House and Office of Volusius Iuvencus; left of the door); 8364: Secundus says hello to his Prima, wherever she is. I ask, my mistress, that you love me.
>VII.9 (Eumachia Building, via della Abbondanza); 2048: Secundus likes to screw boys.
>VII.15.11-12 (House of Verus; between the two doors of the house); 4838: Secundus says hello to his friends.
>IX.8.3 (House of the Centenary; in the latrine near the front door); 5243: “Secundus defecated here” three time on one wall.
Secundus would have really felt at home here...
It sure doesn’t seem that way from all these writings. The one you post is the “worst” and it’s not even bad.
Face it, europe was lit before the catholics took over
>pompei
>HAHAHAH THE GOY WILL DIE AND RABBI JESUS IS COMING BACK.
>JUST LOOK AT THEIR VOLCANO!
Revelations Ch. 1
>(Vico d’ Eumachia, small room of a possible brothel); 2145: Gaius Valerius Venustus, soldier of the 1st praetorian cohort, in the century of Rufus, screwer of women
I feel this should be a thing.
>>Weep, you girls. My penis has given you up. Now it penetrates men’s behinds. Goodbye, wondrous femininity!
/lgbt/
>VIII (Street of the Theaters); 64: A copper pot went missing from my shop. Anyone who returns it to me will be given 65 bronze coins (sestertii). 20 more will be given for information leading to the capture of the thief.
>VIII.1 (above a bench outside the Marine Gate); 1751: If anyone sits here, let him read this first of all: if anyone wants a screw, he should look for Attice; she costs 4 sestertii.
Wow, Based Pompeiians. Women were cheaper than the pots they pissed in.
>muh ebul gadoligs
Aristides self-own. LOL.
In 482 the last and greatest of the enemies of Themistocles fell victim to an ostracism. On this occasion, in the run-up to the vote, an illiterate farm worker from the countryside went up to Aristides. He handed over his potsherd and asked him to write the name of Aristides on it.
Aristides was taken aback and inquired of the man what harm Aristides had ever done him. None at all, he replied. I don't even know him. I am just sick and tired of hearing everyone call him the Just. Aristides scratched his name on the ostrakon and handed it back without a word.
>Romans invented the forum to be able to live shitpost
Was Pompeii dare I say the ancient version of Jow Forums?
More like /b/ in its golden days and before it was cool.
I secundus this
>europe was lit before the catholics took over
Something that surprised me is how the banter just permeates a lot of old writings. The Edda has proverbs you would expect to hear in a bar, serious philosophers wrote some bitingly funny stuff, Diogenes was basically a walking shitpost.
Vulgar sarcasm is as old as time itself. Its toxic though. Its impossible to have a serious conversation in our current age.
It's the best kind of philosophy.
It is, what I would give to have cafes and taverns where we discuss and debate and duke it out like men.
>VII.1.40 (House of Caesius Blandus; in the peristyle of the House of Mars and Venus on the Street of the Augustales); 1714: It took 640 paces to walk back and forth between here and there ten times
Someone was autistic enough to count?
Its not even just talking. Dark humor permeates our whole culture. You cant forge a relationship with anyone out of sincerity and empathy.
Its always some petty joke or a slick remark coming in the middle.
What a time to be alive I guess.
>Diogenes was basically a walking shitpost.
fuck Diogenes
Of course Rome had shitposters, their flag did feature fucking leaves after all.
Laurel leaves actually. Medically proven to have cancerous properties.
Fitting.
I remember in high school Latin class our professor shared some funny/inappropriate Roman graffiti to translate
One of them was "She's the kind of woman who can only be satisfied by a big, black elephant"
We all had a sensible chuckle
Ancient BLACKED posting. Who woulda figured.
>II.7 (gladiator barracks); 8792: On April 19th, I made bread
How can L*tinbois compete
Diogenes spent his life fighting decadence, degeneracy and weakness.
Yes.
Shitposting never changes
You mean /mgtow/
>May Love burn in some lonely mountains whoever wants to rape my girl friend!
what did he mean by this?
>europe was lit before the catholics took over