What’s one thing you’d wish your parents did with you growing up as a young kid?

I’m sorry your parents weren’t there for you

Painful if true

This is really helpful thank you

Taught me how to throw a football. I played soccer as a kid and we did drills but damn do I wish for that instead.

Did you tell your parents you’d prefer that? Or should I just have her do different things?

I wish they would have exposed me more to music. I’m struggling learning new instruments right now because this is the sort of stuff you pick up better at childhood.

We weren't rural. My dad was from the south and when I was born, we moved into the city. I spent my whole childhood wanting to get away from it

not tell me about financial problems. or marital problems. or drinking problems. Yeah basically don't tell/show your kid any sort of major problems it will probably scar them.

Let me pick what I wanted to do and be my own person.

They didn't do a horrible job of this until I was older, but they rarely invested themselves in my hobbies or interests, and when I was in college, they started forcing me to do things.

Fucking hated it. Miserable with my job now. Surprise, right?!

I wish my parents had taught me how to stand up for myself against harassment. My dad tried, but "just do it" isn't really practical advice.

This

"Just ignore it" is also a really shitty argument. My mom was also a "pacifist" which meant I endured years of mental, emotional and sometimes physical abuse in my developmental stage when really I should have been taught to punch someone in the nose at least once or twice in my life.

ESPECIALLY girls op, you can't let her be the type to be paralyzed with fear in a confrontation with a man.

There are a lot of teen-moms because their parents didn't talk about sex problems.

that has nothing to do with what I'm saying. I never said anything about sex. Parents should talk with their kids about sex.

Which way you think I should go? Fight if being picked on or seek help?

I wish my dad let me do me and didn't yell at me for not being Christian and then wonder why I fucking hate his guts

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You think I should be more open about birth control protection ect? Or more open about sexuality ?

My father was like this and I don’t go to church anymore I’m going to let me daughter choose thou

My dad made me ice cream and took me out to the zoo or movies when I got suspended for fighting bullies. He said “There’s lots of vicious cunts in the world, the only thing they respect is an even MORE vicious cunt”.

I might have worded poorly. At some time you need to tell your kids the darker side of life, so they can recognize and prepare.

I feel that from the age of 7 that can be expected of them to understand.

I now realize OP might be thinking much younger and then I agree with you.

But now

Seek help, if the system fails, fight back
I sought help and teachers and admin didn't do shit. Kids gotta stick up for themselves eventually

when rasing kids there is no right or wrong answer you deal with the problems as the arise like every parent(s) does.

My kid's school has a system for solving social problems that I think is great.

If someone is bothering you:
- Ignore at first. If it doesn't stop or can't be ignored:
- Ask to stop politely. If it doesn't stop:
- Ask to stop firmly. If it doesn't stop:
- Seek help. If it doesn't stop:
- Defend yourself and seek help again

Not that user but yes.
The more you hide it the more they will go looking for it. The more you shame it, the more they will want it.

If you tell them straight forward what it is, how to be safe and what the honest to god repercussions will be but that you'll love them regardless, they'll treat it as not a big deal rather than some forbidden fruit that they need to sample

I wish my parents hadn't convinced me I was a freak of nature because the school system said I was "a dangerous delinquent" for drumming on my desk and not being interested in class, eating during study hall, and being the goofy kid that was picked on by others.
If your kid isn't hitting other kids or eating the drywall, he's fine and probably being 10-13 years old like any other.
Instead my parents went "oh my God! He's eating in class?!?! I'm so sorry we let this monster in here. Well we'll just drug him with enough horse tranqs to suit your needs and ship him to a special school for literal retards.
Fucked my future up permanently and now I can't go to a decent college .
Always go to bat for your kid. The school system is for helping a kid learn, sure it's not a playground but you shouldn't always take the word of the school and just roll over and destroy your child's future.

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Thank you I myself am I young parent and my father never told me anything and I was always ashamed about sex so I’ll be more open with my daughter

What made you rebel in school. How should I approach my kid if he’s acting up

My rebellion came from both the feeling of isolation from my peers and the fact that all the shit I did just didn't seem unreasonable to me. I wouldn't say I'm necessarily smarter than everyone but I possessed a very good set of comphrehensive skills. Understanding concepts was never hard for me. Granted looking back on some behavior's I can understand why but eating in a study hall ?
The rest is just kid shit man. You'll realize that unlike you, kids will know nothing and it's easy to forget.
Sometimes it's the way the kid is not necessarily the kid rebelling

I understand. How came I (pretend I’m your parent) could of help you during this time of isolation? How can I make you feel less lonely?

Also, when your kid is acting up, bring up the behavior and ask him what he's doing and why he's doing it.
If he can explain, fantastic. Address the behavior and adjust accordingly to how you desire it. Do not immediately accuse him of something unless you have concrete evidence of wrongdoing.
Schools are full of lazy fucks who got their teaching degrees because "I didn't know what I wanted to do so I chose teaching lmao" and will try to push any behavior they deem unfit onto the parent and demonize the kid.

Not do all my shit for me regardless of age.
My mom specially loves to make stuff for me and leaves me without the experience needed afterwards and that became cause for great shame for me, because I feel like a toddler learning somethings I should have seen earlier.

This. My brother doesn’t know how to do anything because my mom always babies him so I’ll be sure to teach her instead of doing for her

Please, please realize that the public school system is a joke. College is not largely necessary any more unless the kid plans on being a doctor or an engineer. And they can figure that out for themselves, as adults, rather than what the past generations have done to every generation so far - shill high highschool grades and college entry as the only means of success in life. Now we have millions of actual fucking kids saddled with over 100,000 dollars in debt.

Think about it, most people are pretty much naive children until they're 26 - and yet most are in crippling debt before that time.

coming back to public school - like that user above who had trouble focusing, realize that kids are kids and being at school for 8 hours a day, with 3 hours of homework is a shitty, broken system meant more for prisoners than children. Getting all A's is cool, but not more important than developing necessary social skills and self management skills.

On the other side of kids that act up, be careful if your kid doesn't act up at all. If they (especially a daughter) is always compliant, helpful, and listens immediately. It's not bad, but if you have a shy kid, you may need to go the extra mile to get her out of her shell. Ask her opinions, let her try things that she will fail at, and engage in conversation like she matters. Sometimes a shy kid will desperately want something, but doesn't feel like they can't speak up. Get them comfortable with talking to you and look for signs of what they need or want. Because shy, compliant, "easy" kids get praised all the time so they think they are doing the right thing, only to miss so many social development opportunities. Treat your kid like the individual they are, whether it is loud or shy, but tailor your responses to how that kid is.

School grades and studying are important, relevant and they should always be taken care of.... but they're not the be-all, end-all.

Sometimes just going together for a walk with the dog is just as important as the math lesson, it allows you the chance to communicate, to ask her what's on her mind, to answer her questions, to give guidance.

Not get me diagnosed with autism and brainwash myself on how I'm perceived in the world while ruining my education and chances to socialize with confidence while growing up.

Everything she sees you doing, she will learn to do it.

The good and the bad,

Encourage me to do what I wanted.

Ended up basically going for my dreams of being an animator, being succesful, but being basicall two years behind all my peers, because the amount of doubt they cast made me waffle for two years before just saying fuck it.

I wish they tried to teach me structure and discipline

Got me more interested in serious literature/art in general. I'm very keen on it now, but all of those years I could have been honing my skills.

I guess my advice is to just let her experience as much as possible so she has a better idea of what it is she enjoys and is passionate about.

t. depressed guy who has no real idea what he's passionate about

I wish my parents would've pushed me more to my interests. I was always computer kid but they never really helped me expand my skills through money and help. I am So jealous for people who got photoshop at the age of 14 or their parents showed them how to code at the age of 10

Some of the stuff I wish my parents did:

>Obligate me to take any type of challenging artistic hobby such as learning guitar, piano, or drawing.
>Give me healthy meals instead of fast food so I grow up not to be fat and had to put double the effort to correct my shitty diet and lose weight
>Not fight too much
that shit is just awkward for a kid, just let your husband/wife have the reason. A person that is dead serious in a decision is never going to back down until they understand their ideas sucks.

Other things that my parents did pretty well:
>making me learn 2 other languages (English and French)
this shit made it easy for me to learn other languages. I see that other people struggle because they take their language as the base for any other, instead of trying to understand the language from the basics up.
>Teach me proper manners and to be polite with everyone.

Actually I guess I had a very well-rounded childhood. Some of the things my parents got right:

>taught me to eat well, including fruits and vegetables and didn't take no for an answer; a couple of times they did sit me down to last night's dinner for breakfast the next day
>didn't take it to the extreme, I was allowed to dislike some things without them endlessly serving it to me the next day until I ate it

>taught me lots of things; very privileged to have a genius engineer for a father who can use any tool you can put in his hands, knows all about carpentry, plumbing, and electrical work, taught me how to work on cars and do maintenance around the house, how to make lots of different things and do lots of different things

>always took the time to answer my questions

>allowed me to be creative and encouraged me to pursue my interest in writing from an early age

>allowed me to use my own judgement about drinking underage and made sure I always knew I could call them for help no matter what impaired state I was in

Things they got wrong:

>pushed me too hard to not give away certain hobbies or interests as they came and went, I remember it always being a huge battle whenever I'd outgrown some activity or another and wanted to stop not because I was lazy or wanted to spend the time doing nothing productive, but because it wasn't fun anymore

>forced me to go to university instead of letting me get into a trade "you can always do both"

>paid obvious favour to my older sister who was/is not as well-rounded as I am and often needed more help or coaching through the stressors in her life, but always left me to fend for myself; it wasn't until years later that I found out the extent to which she had received their help throughout her years of compulsory schooling when I'd never even had the whiff of an offer to help

I wish they were genuine and accepting of me. They made me feel bad about being me and took their problems out on me. Don't do this.

You're going to get a lot of conflicting information here, but I will say this. Really try and be active in their life. Discipline them. I wish my parents hadn't just let me play video games and watch TV all day. I wish they'd of made me do homework and even done it with me to help. I wish they'd of played with me more outside. You're their best friend, afterall.

What they did do really well was teaching by example. Kids don't really get words or thing when you try to explain it to them. I think too many parents do that. But kids do learn by watching what you do and how you do it. In fact I think most things are learned this way, not just whenyoure a kid.

For a girl, I think it would be a good idea to stress how important staying a virgin and staying pure is. I know it's a talk I'll have with my daughter when she comes of age. As a father, you set the example for everything they will look for in a man the rest of their life. Food for thought.

> dicipline
> manners
> chores
> healthy foods
> brushing teeth and floss daily (I have shit teeth due to a lack of this)
> Don't hate on them for giving up a hobby (I went for Karate for half a year when I was 8 and stopped and mom gave me shit for it to this fucking day 20 years later. Didn't even pick up another sport until I was 15)
> Never throw out old toys or collectibles because the room is a mess (mom threw out 3k worth of magic cards collected over several years because I had stopped playing and my room was messy when I was 12)
> Don't be an alcoholic or daily drug user
> Don't let your psychiatric illness remain untreated
> Do allow pets, and be prepared to take care of them some or most of the time
> Help them with homework and encourage them to study
> Read books for them
> Hold off on the screens until they are at least a couple of years old
> Make strict rules for screen time. Even if you browse Jow Forums 8 hours a day, your kid needs to do "real" things instead of interacting with the interwebs all the time.

Honestly I wish they would have made me play team sports and cared more about health and nutrition. I didn't realize until adult hood how it shapes you and your life.

Teach me another language

Schools could teach that, but I'm a mixed race, neither parent who could speak it never thought I would need it so when I visit my other family my english is too advanced or I can't understand a word they said.

>What’s one thing you’d wish your parents did with you growing up as a young kid?

I wish my mom had treated me like she loved me. She was never the type to hug, kiss or really show any affection. I would draw her pictures or show her things that I was excited about and it was always this dispassionate, "yeah, that's nice now leave me alone" kind of response like she had more important things to do than interact with me. I don't blame her for it. I was an independent roughneck kid and she was only working from the script she'd been given her whole life but it really sticks with me how the few times I really wanted her approval I just couldn't seem to get it.

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I wish they werent fuckups socially so I didnt become one. I got along with other kids at first but I only hung out with people less than once a month. When you’re a child, there’s no way to “arrange a playdate”.

Wow, your school actually encourages kids to stand up for themself? That seems pretty rare nowadays with all the stories of kids getting suspended or punished for fighting back against bullies.

Forced me onto those sports teams and to take up those instruments that I didn't want to do because they're cut into my play time.

I probably could've done with a few more beatings too.

if by fighting back against bullies you mean hitting them its good thats discoraged, because in the adult world it will get you put in jail.

as a bully, they target ppl who do literally nothing. so doing anything but nothing will probably get the bullying to stop.

if it’s some kind of psychopathic purging where theyre trying to get the person to kill themselves via online bullying, it should be taken to the police

I had a great childhood, I don't know what I whished for that wasn't fulfilled.
But there are several things they did right:

Economy:
They never bought me stuff, instead, they gave me a small allowance. At first it was used to buy candy each weekend, but I quickly gave that up because I wanted to do more with my money.
Saving up for a box of lego would take about a year.

Working:
My parents have always done stuff around the house. My father usually did repairs and I would help with that.
My mother was doing more stuff like sewing etc and my sister usually helped with that.
We were always helping with cooking the meals, I think we started to help out when I was 5 and we got the full responsibility of a day of the week at 8.
Cleaning the house increased our allowance, so we also did that, but I can't remember what age that started.
We never watched TV just to watch TV.

Interests:
We were always encouraged to take hobbies that lead us out of the house.
We always had 2-3 things/week we went to.

Education:
While we weren't home-schooled, I learned so many things from my parents and grand parents.
If I were curious about animals, they found books and let me study it before they took me to see them, if I were interested in history, they read with me about it and usually made it part of the next vacation.

Everything was either a combination of having me do things with them or do things I wanted to do.
I was never spoiled or given things that were unreasonable and I never got the feeling they didn't want me around.
I was a social kid, I was a healthy kid and I was a happy kid.
My road to recovery is basically getting back into those habits and ideals my parents instilled in me.

I wish they had actually treated me like they loved me. My entire childhood was a mixture of being ignored or laughed at, all under the guise of "tough love". When I got injured, they yelled at me and forced me to do twice the amount of chores despite the fact I had to use crutches because "hurr durr, you would have to handle it on your own if you were living alone! muh responsibility!" Don't do it if you don't want your kid to hate you. I don't even visit them on their birthdays now.

In my experience, don't judge your kids, don't make them feel judged, don't let little things that they do set you off. If they make a mess, if they do something silly or break something, a serious and stern, yet lovingly talk would work x100 better than a belt across their ass. Courage your kids, motivate them, give them the confidence they need to be the best version of themselves as possible, this can be done by encouraging sports or activities. You are their leader, you are raising this little human, and really it's your responsibility first and foremost to ensure they have a safe loving environment to grow and learn. I'm not speaking from experience, I'm speaking from my the memories that have stuck with me when I was a child, and the things my parents did to me that, ultimately, weren't beneficial even in the slightest.

My dad could have taught me portuguese, but he never did. I wish he had.

Another thing is that even if your kid gets good marks at school, make sure she actually works, because what really matters at school is learning how to work in the most appropriate way, not just getting good grades.

I could make a foot-long list of things I want to tell you, but unfortunayely I don't really have the time to do so at the moment.
Have a good day.
Good luck in raising your little girl to the best of your ability. And keep in mind that no one can be the -best- parent ever; but you sure as hell can get close to being the best.

OP please treat your daughter like a gentleman would a lady, and please never abandon her.

My sister was abandoned by our father in her teens, and then our brother bullied her and took advantage of her good nature. Now she is unmarried, almost 40 and has let several guys treat her like shit because she was so desperate for affection / validation. Don't abandon your little girl.

Well as a kid I wished and wished and wished for my mom to come back, and I’d wish my dad would not drink and hit me as much as he did

if you're poor never have a child
i never asked for any of this you two stupid incapable adults

Goddamn that is profound,

respect me and respect themselves

Teach me the value of general fitness and good eating habits. They kind of just spoiled me and I got fat and now its a pain to undo all that thinking.

Outdoorsy stuff like hiking, camping, building snowmen, learning to ride a bike. I’m no longer starved of those things, but I was as a child.

I wish they pushed me more.
I'm glad that they weren't like, insane sport parents, but a little bit of direction would have done me a lot of good, I think.

Read that book by Amy Chua. Later on, your daughter will be grateful.

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Do more listening than talking, I have photos of my dad telling me how to play with a toy rather actually playing with me

Just the fact that you care says a lot. I think a lot of people here on Jow Forums are fatherless or their dad's don't give a shit about them. Generations of men raised by women. Teach her muscle memory to improve reflexes. Practice archery. Make her understand we are all nature and insects also feel pain. Little things like that really stick with a kid. Teach multiple languages. They pick up on it super easily. You have a very small amount of time to fill her brain up with programs and games to enhance focus while having fun. Spend loads of time just being there and explaining why things are the way they are instead of lying or saying "Because I said so." That really fucked up my childhood. I never understood anything, then got mixed up with LSD and all sorts of shit, now my brain is made if caterpillars. Be real. I think this video sums up everything I'm trying to say.

youtube.com/watch?v=G83G0EDE2RY

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NOT switching schools every year, it makes you blind and basic social interactions and make you numb

I wish they had pushed me to greater academic and intellectual levels. I was good at math as a kid. I even asked my parents to teach me higher level maths. But they kinda left me alone when it came to academic things. Now I'm lazy and underdeveloped, and have mostly vidya to remember from my childhood days.

I wish my mom, in a depressive episode, wouldn't have told me at the age of 12 that I was a disgrace to my family and she was ashamed of ever having me.

Other than that nothing much. I think that episode really scarred me emotionally, especially because I really liked my mom.

I'm thankful for my dad for teaching me the almost sacred value of a man's word/promise.

Teach her how life works and what everyones place in society is. Set her up with Good Friends and a Good Environment. Teach her WHY bad things are bad. Give her an honest, healthy, realistic view of life (With a lot of love added of course). A delusional child is not gonna have a Good life.

Don't stress how others will see or think about your kid. I'm a lonely antisocial mess now because I constantly tell myself "Who cares?" And I worry more about what others will think

One good thing my parents did though was only allow us to use the computer during the winter when it was too could to go outside or for school projects

Don't do things for her because it's faster. Let her learn and be patient with her.

Encourage her to pursue education.

I liked how strict they are while raising me especially on my academic standing but I wish they didn't discouraged me on every decisions I make.

Now, I'm 18 and I don't know what I want in life. I keep thinking about my decisions and if that would satisfy them or not. It's like my whole life depends on them.

For me it looks like they want to create the perfect daughter they can boast to everyone but to be honest, they are just destroying me. Limiting me on things I can do so maybe I should just jump out off the window and die HAHA.

Sorry for the messed up thoughts and all, it's hard to put ideas if your native tongue isn't English and sleepy at 3am lol I hope u get my point tho

I wish my parents had let me invite friends over to our house for sleep overs and stuff like that. We were poor compared to most of the other families at my k-12 and my dad was an alcoholic, so my mom said she didn't want kids to come over and tell their families how we lived. When I first started living on my own as an adult, I never invited people over because it just always felt weird, took me a little while to get over that feeling. Don't make your shame your kids shame I guess.

Why the fuck is someone with such a good childhood browsing this shithole?

Don't tell them you're proud unless you mean it.

My dad used to say that shit all day every day until it became apparent that he wasn't really and he actually detested me. Like he would occasionally let his real feelings slip out and the whole facade would break down. Saying shit like "can't believe my 18 year old son is less fit than his 55 year old father." And then 30 mins later say some bs about how proud he was.

My dad was a jock growing up, so when I couldn't throw a baseball straight after a week of practice he straight just gave up.

I liked video games. He didn't think they were good for anything.

I DID do shit that was physical he just didn't support it. I swam every day. Hung up a punching bag and taught my self how to punch. Even when I went out of my way to get him involved he would just fuck off and drink. Usually he would even discourage it by saying shit like "I don't think you could handle being punched in the face." Even though I had been fighting since 3rd damn grade.

So be straight up with your kids. Don't lie.

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Maybe you only remember those because those were the mistakes your parents corrected, you ungrateful brat.

Or it could be the opposite, my wife was never taught about sex, stayed a virgin until 29 and now she is pregnant and it has opened up a Pandora's box of bullshit. Good or bad, just educate your child.

>Do not lie to your kids
>If they don want to do *insert thing here* don't make them.
>Teach them internet safety.
>Educate your children on sex and uncomfortable shit.

I'm having a mix baby with grandparents who only speak their native languages. Already told my wife the first few years we will only use our respective native languages with the baby. Can't stand the thought of it not being able to hold a conversation with the grandparents, aunts and uncles.

i wish they would've listened to my warnings, they ignored it because it required effort to fix some problems
i ended up with more than a decade long severe depression which practically left me with no friends, without any good memories and halted my personality development
i can't fit into society anymore, even though i recovered

I know how you feel man. That's why I'm living in an 8,000 shitty beat down house in the middle of the mountains of Maine without heat and shit like a fucking animal. I would fucking kill those bastards if I could

Be honest. The earlier your child understands the complexities of the world the earlier they can deal with it. Your job isn't to shield them from reality, but to help them comes to terms with it and ensure their future happiness. If they don't understand the world they might do something they regret.

Also, please, please don't heavily medicate your child, especially at a young age. That ruins lots of lives.

8,000 dollar house I mean, fuck. It's about an acre though so I suppose it's worth living here

any spoops happen out there user?

I wish my father would never have hit me and my brother. I wish he would never have yelled at us most of our childhood. I wish he would have been more understanding of our life choices or at least try to change us instead of just yelling.

Learn her to be emotional and to express them.

There's nobody around. I have to walk for about a couple of hours to town whenever I need something. Haven't eaten in a week, just living off of water and food rations