ITT: Ask the Opposite Gender Anything

Ok, thank you. I'm awful at this. I'm like an autistic teenager trapped in a 28 year old woman's body. I haven't dated in long time and literally have no idea how to read men or take hints. So thank you.

Way overthinking. Calling someone friend or buddy does not mean you have been friendzoned. I have called my girlfriend both of these things tongue-in-cheek, both now and before we were ever dating.

Why do some people just connect and others don't. I met a girl that pretty much liked everything I liked, hated what I hated, and was a dateless virgin like me. We enjoyed talking for a long time, but she would never agree to go out with me saying she hates relationships and does not want to love anyone. Recently she found another guy with nothing in common, but she is willing to go out with him and do everything I promised her I would do with her. And she is paying for it too. I just don't get it and it really hurt finding that out today.

Attached: 1360354242339.jpg (1080x748, 284K)

Whew, ok. Thank you. Any further advice on the "getting to know you" phase of dating? I feel kind of overwhelmed with it all. I don't want to overthink it but feel so unprepared.

Oh, good! That puts me at ease. So, how can I tell if we're just friends or more? We're going camping this weekend and I feel like that will tell me a lot. I just don't know if I'm someone he wants to be with, or relates to as a friend and has fun with.

Sometimes the people we connect with best are the ones we have something to learn from. My absolute best friend in the whole world is similar to me in a lot of ways, but different to me in far more ways. We learn a lot from each other just interacting normally because we have different ways of looking at the world and situations and different personalities and reactions. Direct compatibility does not mean there will be that x factor of interest between two people.

Also don't be ugly, that always helps.

Unironically bee urself. If a guy doesn't like your real personality then you'd be left faking it for the duration of the relationship and what's even the point of that. Remember that it's okay to show interest and be interested in someone and not everything has to be some kind of elaborate game. Also remember that sometimes the game can be fun and you don't need to be one of those people who shoots straight 100% of the time and sucks the fun out of flirting.

Seeing as I got many gay guys asking me out over the years (which led to some free food), I don't think I'm ugly. It just really hurts cause I really liked her, and she just does everything I wished we could of done. And worst, they planned their get together on my birthday.

Show us the text messages if you want a serious answer.

>going camping

Just the two of you? That's a pretty clear indicator he likes you.

I've been totally myself - maybe a little *too* myself - and he hasn't told me to fuck off yet. So maybe that's a good sign, lol. Thanks. Good advice here.

You probably want to ask other anons for specifics, but do keep in mind that sex=/=commitment to men. Don't whore yourself out, it won't make him stay for you.

One of the best ways to avoid being used is to say you wait a while to have sex (never give a set time, since some men enjoy 'chasing'); this filters out the men who would only use your body. Ideally, you will wait until marriage (not even a religious thing, I'm not religious myself), since that ensures you will have commitment on his part, and it also greatly increases the chances of your relationships working out.
I have sources for all of this, which I can post if you'd like. Many people here hate me for it, but they never have sources of their own.

Now that that's all said--
Good luck! You are already off to a great start, and like the other user said, 'bee urself' is really all you have to do at this point. I would also recommend keeping the texting to a minimum if you can talk in person instead.

Attached: waiting.png (1861x122, 19K)

Why do I keep attracting girls with boyfriends? The last two dates I've been on were with girls that hid their boyfriends from me then when it came up that they had a boyfriend, they tell me that they want to break up with them.

I live a very clean lifestyle as far as keeping negative shit out of my life well which makes it even more confusing

>And worst, they planned their get together on my birthday.
Sounds like you're purposefully crossing your wires and imagining that she's doing this to hurt you.

Look, you got told she wasn't interested in a relationship so there was absolutely no lie in the way she treated you. The fact that she found someone to change her mind hurts but ultimately has nothing to do with you and everything to do with her.

My guess is that you give off a "secure and stable" vibe, so any monkeybranching degenerates will think of you as a safe bet.

See, this is a good point that I'd like to discuss. Some of my friends tell me to hold off on sex, but not wait too long because he'll lose interest. Will a guy really lose interest if it's too soon or too late?

I know, it just pains me to lose her, she was my last friend and last girl I liked.

I call the girls i'm into friend or bud as a defense mechanism if I threw myself out there and the girl hasn't reciprocated in a genuine way. You're overthinking it. Have you overtly shown interest to him?

I feel really embarrassed to ask this but are rape and/or gangbang fantasies normal for women? I don’t want to scare off any guys if I admit it to them but they’re definite turn ons really don’t think I’d ever do them irl though.

>It was only 2 texts in a week,

this is nothing. don't worry about it.

It's way too common and it does scare men.

Yeah I would keep that to yourself. Not judging, I'm into weird shit that I don't put on blast to a girl I'm seeing.

Hmm. I guess not really. See, I'm terrible at this. How can I show him I'm interested, other than being friendly? Should I just kiss him this weekend or something? But then what if he rejects me? I am such a dumbass. Please help me.

Please don't get hitler-senpai started in on the graphs and links. The short answer is that there is evidence to support the theory that waiting until marriage makes people happier.

The long answer is that sex can be an important part of a relationship.

Yes a guy will lose interest if it's too soon or too late. Too soon and you come across as the kind of girl who fucks every guy who buys her a drink and no one actually wants to be the guy who dates a woman that has slept around. You can be annoyed at that and call it a double standard all you like but it doesn't change the fact. If you wait too long then it can seem like you aren't interested in a serious relationship, or that your sex drives are misaligned, or that you are asking someone else to put aside their own thoughts and beliefs on the matter and conform to your own ideas about how long you should wait. Be wary of a guy who won't DATE you just because you don't fuck on the third date, but also be aware that if sex is something he's looking for in a relationship (the vast majority of people are) then withholding will rule you out as a suitable partner and there's nothing inherently wrong with that.

Hard to swallow pill desu

>Why do some people just connect and others don't. I met a girl that pretty much liked everything I liked, hated what I hated, and was a dateless virgin like me. We enjoyed talking for a long time, but she would never agree to go out with me saying she hates relationships and does not want to love anyone. Recently she found another guy with nothing in common, but she is willing to go out with him and do everything I promised her I would do with her. And she is paying for it too. I just don't get it and it really hurt finding that out today.

she lied. And she might be an idiot because the lie you just wrote was the best thing she could think up.

She badly wants to fuck this other guy for whatever reason.

Life is stupid user.

>Will a guy really lose interest if it's too soon or too late?
The answer is yes to both, but with crucial distinctions:
-if you wait "too long", he's leaving not because of you per se, but because he doesn't get to use your body. Not the kind of guy you want to be with. There are a few men who have high libidos, yes, but generally if they like you as a person they'd be willing to wait, and you stand a far greater chance of being used with these types.
-if you don't wait at all, that doesn't make a guy leave (since those who want to wait themselves won't initiate sex), but some men have a double standard where they play the field and then settle down with a chaste girl. If you put out easily, you are marking yourself as part of the former category. That is, they have no reason or desire to commit now.

Basically, some guys will lose interest over any given thing, but what you want is to keep the interest of the right guy, and not someone who will use you. The pic I posted previously is an example of that.

I cannot emphasize enough that you shouldn't just go along with what your friends say--popular opinion in this regard has shifted badly in the wrong direction, and while they aren't malicious in their intent, they aren't correct, either.

Source:
ftp.iza.org/dp4200.pdf
>"Social and legal changes have given people more autonomy over individual and family decision making, including rights over marriage, children born out of wedlock, the use of birth control, abortion, and divorce (Stevenson and Wolfers, 2007). Once again, men may have been able to disproportionately benefit from these increased opportunities: Akerlof, Yellen, and Katz (1996) argue that sexual freedom offered by the birth control pill benefited men by increasing the pressure on women to have sex outside of marriage"

Make sure they stay fantasies and keep it to yourself.

Sound advice. We've talked a lot about it and we both have high sex drives and place a serious emphasis on monogamy. So we do align in those areas.

>if sex is something he's looking for in a relationship then withholding will rule you out as a suitable partner and there's nothing inherently wrong with that.
This is an unfortunate outgrowth of our times, and isn't something she should bow to. Just because men demand sex at her expense doesn't mean she should give in.
>Please don't get hitler-senpai started in on the graphs and links.
Too late. Here are a couple sources for the benefits of waiting (and the costs of not waiting disproportionately affect women, like in my first source):

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2012.00996.x/abstract
>Bivariate results suggested that delaying sexual involvement was associated with higher relationship quality across several dimensions. The multivariate results indicated that the speed of entry into sexual relationships was negatively associated with marital quality, but only among women."

onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.1741-3737.2003.00444.x/abstract
>"I find that premarital sex or premarital cohabitation that is limited to a woman's husband is not associated with an elevated risk of marital disruption. However, women who have more than one intimate premarital relationship have an increased risk of marital dissolution."

psycnet.apa.org/record/2010-25811-011
>"Both structural equation and group comparison analyses demonstrated that sexual restraint was associated with better relationship outcomes, even when controlling for education, the number of sexual partners, religiosity, and relationship length."

The good news is that you would probably look more appealing to single women, too, but you'd need to take initiative with them.

If you haven't put yourself out there and he has then he almost definitely thinks you're being a tease and backed off because he doesn't want to waste his time. I would just send him a text saying that you think he's cute and that you're interested in him and that you want to hang out with him one night. Nothing too aggressive but something that even the dumbest guy will get the point.

>I haven't shown any interest

Read this very carefully: if you don't show some kind of interest then he will have no way of knowing that you're interested.

Seems pretty logical, right?

>what if he rejects me?
What if this question ran through the mind of every guy who has ever had to be the one to make the first move because women expect it and won't do it themselves? At some point someone has to just fucking grow a pair and do it.

>how to show interest
You flirt. Flirting is a lot like being friendly but the intent behind it is romantic. A lot of flirting is non-verbal and anyone who has reached their mid-late 20s will be able to recognise the signs that you give off subconsciously just by intending to be flirty. You don't have to launch yourself at him and kiss him, but sit next to him around the fire. Spend time near and around him (you don't need to follow him like a puppy, but make it clear that you're around him on purpose). If you're going with other people then don't flirt with the other guys or let them flirt with you. Complain that you're cold and see if he'll give you his jacket. Play footsie, be a bit touchy, share hugs, smile, laugh at his jokes, don't be afraid to light up when he's around, reference inside jokes, tell him he's handsome, poke fun at him, be fun, be funny.

>I feel really embarrassed to ask this but are rape and/or gangbang fantasies normal for women?

increasingly normal.

It would be more ok to tell him just the rape fatasy, or use coded language like you light it rough or something, maybe not straight rape. Rape is a scary word right now to most guys.

Gangbang, eeehhhhhh, be careful with talking about that one. A lot of guys would be in a three way with another chick, but if you tell him you want a train ran on you, he might think you really just want other dicks. Or not his dick at all.

One last thing to note, then I'll shut up unless asked about something else--even if you do have a high sex drive, marriage, i.e a stable relationship, is the best way to ensure a steady sexual life as you get older (inb4deadbedroom). When your youth fades, your options dry up as well, and that doesn't bode well for either your sex life (if you're single/divorced, a more likely outcome with more sexual partners) or your overall happiness.
Source:
onlinelibrary.wiley.com/doi/10.1111/j.0347-0520.2004.00369.x/abstract
>"The happiness-maximizing number of sexual partners in the previous year is calculated to be 1."

Thank you so much for this. It'll just be the two of us. I'll try and relax, be myself, and will try this thing that the humans call "flirting."

Thanks for all of this. I'm really torn on it all, so this is food for thought.

I didn't get an answer in the last thread

girls (and wise male anons)

I'm trying to figure out some female behavior from an old friend.

Ok. I've had a female friend for about 7 years. She got married 4 or 5 years ago. After she got married, communication has changed. She rarely if ever messages me first. When I message, she sends 1 genuine reply. Its hard to get a full back and forth conversation via text or facebook messenger. BUT if I call, and she's away from the husband we'll talk for an hour or more. So if she's completely safe to talk, she'll talk at length and with energy. If there is a record, she keeps it extremely brief.

Also, about 2 or so years ago, me, her and another friend met at an anime con in Florida. She made almost no time for us. She envited us to meet her to one thing she knew we wouldn't get into (some sort of cosplay only meet and greet thing).

I don't know, there just seems to be a conscious effort to keep the husband away from us, or to keep us away from the Husband.

I'm thinking that it could be 1 of 2 things.

1. He's the jealous type. And she's trying to prevent him from showing his ass.
2. She's protecting her marriage by not allowing herself to spend much solo time with men.

I want to believe it is 2, but she's lying to herself if she thinks that it is ideal to have hour long conversations on her cell phone with me or any other dude just because its less trackable than a text or message. She could still develop feelings for me or any other guy.

also, I will add that she has a history of dating and marrying abusive men.

From what I can tell this is the first guy she's gotten with that isn't abusive. But now that I've seen this trend, I wonder if she is just trying to prevent his triggers.

What does having a vagina feel like during sex?

>It'll just be the two of us

I'd say he has a good idea that you're into him then. I can't imagine many situations where a guy and a girl would go camping just the two of them where there's no romantic intent happening.

You guys sharing a tent or what?

Sit in his lap and do cutesie shit if he seems into the flirting.

Be warned: if you don't do get honest he will move on. I just went through this with another girl and stopped talking to her because I thought she was being a tease. Then we hung out one night and she got way too drunk and kept saying why do you hate me. I kicked her out of my car then she drove a half hour away to the next town like a mess. I ended up not only feeling bad for her but completely unattracted to her.

That's what I want to try and avoid. I don't want to be an old spinster, or worse, an old, bitter, crotchety cougar with bleached blonde hair in a leopard print dress, with a raspy voice picking up 20 year old men in a bar at 50. I want stability and someone to grow old with.

A couple of degrees warmer than your dick and vaguely tight, like a loose-gripped wank. Your dick isn't tactile enough to pick out the way the inside of a vagina actually feels like your fingers can.

She got married. Things change when people get married. If the husband is not abusive then it sounds like nothing is wrong and you're the only one who can't adjust to the situation.

It's possible that he has complained to her about her friendship with you and so she keeps it under control, but this is just one of those things we do for out partners because we love them and isn't actually an abusive behaviour.

Ok. So maybe I'm overthinking all of this. The texts, his level of interest, and him calling me friend and buddy. I'll be honest with myself and him this weekend, and bust out that feminity that I've been suppressing out of fear of rejection.

Solid plan, men like feminine girls.

Don't panic, user. You have plenty of time to wait, and even if a few guys do bail (which can get demoralizing, I know), you have good odds of finding someone who shares your goals and values eventually. And you'll both be far happier and far better off in the knowledge that you stayed true to yourselves. The point is, keep a level head, enjoy dating while keeping in control of your drives, and it should work out.
>I want stability and someone to grow old with.
A good sentiment to have, and you've already heard how best to find this. I wish you well.

A final word of caution--while hopefully this guy will be the one for you, if this relationship doesn't work out and you find yourself dating again, you should also be on the lookout for lunatics. Unfortunately, girls like you are also a prime target for them, so if something seems off about a guy who shares your values, don't be hesitant to break up. It's dangerous to stay in a bad relationship just because you don't think you can find another (just as it's bad to leave a good relationship because you think you CAN find a better one).

So do girls feel pleased by penetration or no?

Hitler is it okay to hold hands on a first date? We're going rollerblading.

How do I make excuses to compliment girls or talk to them?

And how can I get a gf without tinder/whisper/NSA storing my online dating info in a drive somewhere?
>am 20
>am crazy
>am poor as fuck

If you have a crush on a guy and you see him getting fucked with or bullied by someone you know personally, why don't you say anything?

>holding hands on a first date
Oi, get that smut off this board, we're all Christians here. Her paw should blast your dick off.

Afraid of what other people with think of you

>Why do I keep attracting girls with boyfriends?

Honestly bro, don’t overthink it... st the end of the day, the “why” is pretty irrelevant.

There was a while where I seemed to attract gay girls going through identity crisis... and really, I kind of stated to question it my self because it kept happening... but at the the end of the day I realized that it didn’t really matter. As long as I stuck to dealing with my own shit and kept cognizant of who I was, whatever anyone else did, id be level headed enough to act on it to my own best interests without letting their shit affect me.

P.S. As far as I know, literallyhitler himself has stated that he has no actual experience interacting or dealing with women, so take everything he says with more than a grain of salt.

>1. He's the jealous type
>2. She's protecting her marriage
Probably a little of column 1 and a little of 2.

Shit changes when you have long term relationships and inter gender friendships.

I know I spend a little les time eith my best friend (who is female) and she spends a little less time with me. It’s not even like our partners are jealous or anything, in fact we’re all pretty good friends.. but it’s just the way it goes sometimes.

On top of that, even when we *do* hangout solo on occasion, there *is* a little more conscientious restraint that goes on, because we both know we’re not single anymore and we don’t quite have the same margin for mistakes and liberties as we used to have when we could both do whatever we wanted without worrying about consequences or self-restraint.

It does sound like her restraint is a tiny bit more than normal, but it also sounds within somewhat acceptable range. At the end of the day, this is her relationship though, and you’re just speculating and have no idea what it’s like in their marriage.

How can I subtly obtain information on my girlfriends when I get them?

How can I make them dependant on me so they don't want to go, even if I cheat and get caught?

> he has no actual experience interacting or dealing with women
I interact with them and know plenty of people who do, I just haven't dated.

>There was a while where I seemed to attract gay girls going through identity crisis... and really, I kind of stated to question it my self because it kept happening... but at the the end of the day I realized that it didn’t really matter. As long as I stuck to dealing with my own shit and kept cognizant of who I was, whatever anyone else did, id be level headed enough to act on it to my own best interests without letting their shit affect me.

Cheers man. Only thing you can really do. Luckily I have a bunch of awesome career and life stuff going on so it doesn't bother me too much. I guess it's just a weird phase.

Try not being a psycho. Seriously, you're not gonna get anywhere in any relationship with such a lack of trust. Eventually you're going to have to make yourself vulnerable enough to trust someone even if it means you might get burnt. And even through that there's a powerful experience.

so I'll start by saying I'm super inexperienced when it comes to relationships. I've never had a LTR or anything remotely like that.
last year I developed a crush on this guy and I was too pushy and too needy and basically scared him away.
He began ghosting me on December and some time later I finally stopped pushing since I fully understood my fault (he also messed up but I can only be responsible of my fuck ups).
I sent him a long ass letter where I apologize and recognize my mistakes, but I doubt he has even read it.
So, given all the time that passed, and all the fuck ups, is it possible to fix this somehow?
I feel like I'm stuck because I can't so anything. I don't want to talk to him if he doesn't do it first, because I don't want to push him even further away.

If you notice a guy look at your boobs do you think less of them?
It wasn't a stare or a leer, just sort taken by surprise (usually very conservative dresser) gave them a glance then looked away.

what does it mean i really want to find a girl i trust to cuddle and embrace?

Unfortunately no. If there was he would've contacted you. Since he hasn't, there isn't. But what you're going through now is very important; these mistakes will mold you into a stronger person and are crucial lessons of who you don't want to be. I've been through it several times and unfortunately the best experiences in life are brought about by serious pain.

>can't tell the difference between shy/minimally sociable and disinterested

>girl starts conversation with me on weekend over memestagram
>messaging a couple of hours apart, convo stretches out into working week
>replies end up getting further apart, 24 hours between last messages

I decided she was trying to get rid of me and stopped messaging her, but she was still responding in full and to be fair she's only online pretty sporadically during the week, whereas I'm always online due to work.

For context she was into me years ago but nothing ever came of it because I was chasing someone else.

Please help me with meine autism.

Ask for her phone number

but he is the kind of person that avoids confrontation at all costs, so it's really hard for him to talk to me because it'd be some kind of confrontation... so it's just normal he hasn't reached me by now...

Dude, no. He's not interested and you freaked him out. Just let it be and move on.

Either way it's a lost cause. I know it's hard. I went through something similar and I suffered all summer. But I made it out okay and so will you. Just trust that through this you're being molded into something stronger. To get stronger is to go through pain.

I think you have nothing to lose by reaching out, saying you're sorry how it turned out and want to try again because you like him.
Better than always wondering what could have been

Missed the boat on that. This was about 3 weeks ago, I just go back and forth on being confused about it. I'd have to strike up another conversation and I have no idea how to do that without being lame.

>Luckily I have a bunch of awesome career and life stuff going on so it doesn't bother me too much. I guess it's just a weird phase.

To be honest it probably also does have a little to do with your social circles and who you out yourself out there to and the way you interact with them.

If you’re treating girls in relationships like normal people (because you feel they’re non threatening or whatever), and get super nervous and unnatural around single girls, then yeah, there probably going to be a bias in the types of people that are attracted to you, because one set of behavior is inherently more more attractive than the other.

Using my own situation as an example, I hung out around of gay bars and whatnot a lot, because a lot of my friends were gay. Often I’d be the only straight guy hanging out with a bunch of gay guys and girls at a gay night club. And on top of that, I’d also treat guys people pretty much exactly the same as straight people, double on top of that, gay girls got the same treatment as straight guys from me (which.. you’d be surprised how many it’s are either fucking awkward as all hell around gay girls, or else get some weird as alpha mode where they go all out to try to “conquer” them). So yeah, in a way it kind of made sense that so many gay girls *would* be attracted to me because unlike most every other straight dude they met, I could obviously hang and that deference and normalcy was out of their norm.

But at the end of the day, like I said. Irrelevant. That didn’t really have any real reflection on me, nor did it mean I had to adjust my lifestyle, or my personality. whatever their issues or interests were, it didn’t have much of anything to do with what mine were, and it was up to them to take care of themselves, the same as it was my responsibility to take care of myself.

>you're the only one who can't adjust to the situation.

I've adjusted. I give them plenty of space. I don't make the same flirty jokes I made 7, 6 years ago.

But the thing is, if things continue as they are, we won't be friends. She no longer initiates conversation. But it isn't because we aren't friends. We can literally talk for hours, if I call her. And she's fully engaged. Asking questions. Making jokes. We laugh at each others jokes.

But if I'm not the one that calls or text, our friendship is over. She will not text or call me. And she will not have a conversation online or via text message.

Its a weird situation to be in. Like I'll never talk to my classmate again if I leave this all up to the two of them.

you get it, though this doesn't solve anything. Though I suppose that is how half this stuff goes. I'll never know unless I ask, and it isn't really appropriate to ask while their married.

>I just went through this with another girl and stopped talking to her because I thought she was being a tease. Then we hung out one night and she got way too drunk and kept saying why do you hate me. I kicked her out of my car then she drove a half hour away to the next town like a mess. I ended up not only feeling bad for her but completely unattracted to her.

no, this sounds different from what she plans to do.

>men like feminine girls.

men like girls

Huh. I like that. Since you expected no result out of the situation, you were free. And that's attractive.

I think with me it just happened to be the most attractive girls in my class and they both just happened to be with someone else. I'll be moving to a big city soon so my circle will be much broader.

>So, given all the time that passed, and all the fuck ups, is it possible to fix this somehow?

Here’s the thing... even if there was a way for *him* to forget about it, there’s no real way for *you* to forget, and to not fall back in the same pattern of behavior.

The truth is, that kind of behavioral change and reset usually takes years to occur, and it’s only after that that people can really forget and start anew.

Right now, the fact that you’re obsessing and still thinking about him is a pretty clear indication that really, not much has changed. And that probably will still be true until you eat a couple more notches of dating experience under your belt.

>you get it, though this doesn't solve anything. Though I suppose that is how half this stuff goes. I'll never know unless I ask, and it isn't really appropriate to ask while their married.

I mean... about the absolute stupidest way you could approach this is by making this a black or white “him vs me” confrontation that’s about her marriage... because that *definitely* makes you a jealous home wrecker type rather than a concerned friend.

If you genuinely want to keep your friendship and aren’t secretly lusting after her, then your focus in the last couple of posts is completely fucked up to be honest.

Your focus shouldn’t be about her marriage—because that’s not your business—, but about your shared friendship.

I don’t want to give you words, because at this point I’m not sure where your intentions lie (or if even you yourself know what they are) but if you truly *do* miss and value your friendship, you should be able to find your own words to express how much it means to you, and your own reluctance to let it go.

Meh I've been wrong about a lot of stuff in my life. Just wanted to make the worst possible scenario known in the hopes that she will make a move.

What do girls think of a guy that likes futa hentai?

>I mean... about the absolute stupidest way you could approach this is by making this a black or white “him vs me” confrontation that’s about her marriage... because that *definitely* makes you a jealous home wrecker type rather than a concerned friend.
>If you genuinely want to keep your friendship and aren’t secretly lusting after her, then your focus in the last couple of posts is completely fucked up to be honest.
>Your focus shouldn’t be about her marriage—because that’s not your business—, but about your shared friendship.
>I don’t want to give you words, because at this point I’m not sure where your intentions lie (or if even you yourself know what they are) but if you truly *do* miss and value your friendship, you should be able to find your own words to express how much it means to you, and your own reluctance to let it go.

I think you might be bringing a bias into this from something else in your life or neckbeard behavior you see elsewhere on this forum, maybe redpillers on Jow Forums

I never asked if I should confront him or her. I think I made it clear that I didn't even think that was on the table.

>I don’t want to give you words, because at this point I’m not sure where your intentions lie (or if even you yourself know what they are) but if you truly *do* miss and value your friendship, you should be able to find your own words to express how much it means to you

I don't know about that. I don't think there is anything that can be said that can't be misconstrued. People didn't use to have computers and phones that allowed them to stay in touch. People just got married, and if they were shitty at life, made their marriage their life, and woke up at the age of 40 or 50 with no friends. So if that is the standard until recently, anything I say can be seen as a romantic interest, when really, I might just want to stop doing all the initiating and get a call every now and then.

>I don't know about that. I don't think there is anything that can be said that can't be misconstrued. People didn't use to have computers and phones that allowed them to stay in touch. People just got married, and if they were shitty at life, made their marriage their life, and woke up at the age of 40 or 50 with no friends. So if that is the standard until recently, anything I say can be seen as a romantic interest, when really, I might just want to stop doing all the initiating and get a call every now and then.

cont.

Really, I think its lose lose. There isn't a way for a straight male to say that he cares about a relationship with a straight woman, and for it not some other motive be assumed. Men in the US aren't suppose to care about friendships to that level. They aren't suppose to talk about it.

So, I guess I'll just go back to what I was doing. Nothing. Talking every six months or so. And one time I won't make that call. And it will be over. Because even though she really enjoys the calls, it isn't my job to maintain all the initiation.

people cross the street when they see me walking. While walking from the station one day, the exact same route and time I take every day, someone ahead of me thought I was following them and *ran* away. I don't understand why I am so hideous and scary and I don't want to frighten or harm anyone ever. After work I pretty much just go home; I have no friends anyway. I don't know what to change or how it all went so wrong.

So I was friend with this girl... I ended developing a crush on her andshe friendzoned me.
I told her i really wanted to remain as friends but she ended up ghosting me and ignoring me all the semester...
Should I accept that this friendship is over and move on?

>There isn't a way for a straight male to say that he cares about a relationship with a straight woman, and for it not some other motive be assumed.

Sure there is. I’ve done it at least three different times with three different female friends. In the end, I lost contact with two (though the second was partially my own fault, and it was me who kind of faded away, inspite of my own wishes. Life gets busy sometimes) and still maintain a close friendship with the third (the aforementioned best friend).

I think you’re bringing your own biases in to this. Friendships (and any other relationship for that matter) are what you shape them to be. There are no concrete rules when it comes to life and human dynamics. it’s all a series of compromises and complex interactions that can have way more give and flexibility than people give them credit for.

That being said: the point still stands. You are overly focused on *their* relationship (you’ve brought it up, directly or indectly, in every single response), rather than *your* friendship.

Don’t do that.

people people 'ghost' others it is often because they feel threatened or uncomfortable. In light of the recent tragedy in the US it is 100% reasonable that a woman might be uncomfortable or even afraid around someone they have turned away.

I'm not from USA and that was like 6 months ago my dude

I'm currently in a ldr

I'm a neet with no friends and have 1 friend I made off of tinder I had when I was single who is now my platonic bff

Scale of 1 to 10 how wrong is it for me to make a tinder account.
I just want to talk to people and make friends. Obviously I wouldnt tell my bf cause how jealous he gets

>You are overly focused on *their* relationship (you’ve brought it up, directly or indectly, in every single response), rather than *your* friendship.

well fuck me I guess.

I guess you missed the line about her history with abusive men.

Lets see, when we first became friends, she hid that her bf of the time would lock her in his bathroom until she did what he said.

Then the next one verbally abused her for her interest and made fun of her when she got upset over deaths of friends and family.

And her first husband was mentally abusive.

So, yeah, I'm concerned with 'their' relationship. Because she has a history of hiding the bad behavior of her men. And I'm seeing a behavior contrast that suggest she is hiding something.

How do I avoid becoming bitter with a friend of mine who told me we should be more than friends and that she has feelings for me, but then rejected me at every turn?

I took all of your advice and cut off my ex and it felt like I'd broken up with her again.

Fuck this.

10

I'm so lonely :'(

Go to some discord servers, then. Why the fuck do you want to use tinder of all things?

It's where I made 2 really great friends. And I was able to meet up with them since they lived in my area. Also I knew they were kinda normies

Why do girls ask you if you are a virgin. Like wtf do you care, it resets every hour

Fuck you. Fuck you. Fuck you fuck you fuck you fuck you. Guys ask this 10x more often.

maybe, but guys are less likely to make it a deal breaker.