Get over oneself

Get over yourself is one of those phrases people use who are projecting their own shitty attitude on you and assuming that your problems stem from this.

>conceited
I don't really have a high opinion of myself
>you don't take things outside of your immediate surroundings very often into consideration
This is a bit truer. What am I supposed to do, pretend I care about my surroundings until I believe I do?>conceited
I don't really have a high opinion of myself
>you don't take things outside of your immediate surroundings very often into consideration
This is a bit truer. What am I supposed to do, pretend I care about my surroundings until I believe I do?

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yeah, that's basically the starting point.
less me, more them. change from self-centered to self-less.
of course i don't mean don't think about yourself at all, just chip a bit of time into thinking about those around you, or maybe your grandma you haven't seen in a while.

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I dont want an attention whoring OP thread where he replies to every comment but argues with everyone. you are probably superficial.

cultures themselves can be mentally disordered. you can be in step with everyone around you but still fucked up or “not optimal”. it’s just being group fucked up instead of fucked as an individual.

>user...etc
Idk that’s not enough info. I was hoping youd be able to give a real life example.

>you are probably superficial
I guess you're right. I kinda am.
>give a real life example
That's kinda hard to provide, because I don't have many interactions IRL where I could discuss such things. From what I recall, I've never been told that, mainly because I tend to hide this kind of feelings since deep down I know they're considered negatively and I'm afraid they'll judge me.

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There's not enough specificity in this thread for anything to be determined. I don't stand by anything I said about your specific situation, because I wasn't given enough information, you know?

All I can say is that narcissism is typically regarded as a superficial and dramatic personality trait. If you reduce superficiality and drama, I imagine less people will find a need for you to "get over yourself". Your life might improve too.

You could be out experiencing life and meeting people, instead of sitting on Jow Forums and wondering what they think of you. Make sense?

>narcissism
Yeah, it kinda resonates with me.

>reduce superficiality and drama
You know, since I've always been like that, I don't know how to do it. I think, at best, I can pretend to do it, but I think it wouldn't be the same thing. Am I wrong?

>You could be out experiencing life and meeting people
I don't really know how to deal with those things, so I tend to hide myself.

>Since I've always been [superficial and dramatic], I don't know how to [improve].
It might be hard, but you can improve. Insight is an important factor.

More examples would be helpful. I guess you could tell us more details about the core of these discussions you have with user about life.

You said something about looking in the mirror as some kind of manifestation of low self-esteem. That's common. I guess it could be metaphorical for going online and discussing what women might think of you if you open up to them.

>I don't really know how to deal with [experiencing life and meeting people], so I tend to hide myself.
I know what that's like, trust me, and it's not as precious as it sounds.

Christians say it's good to be overly meek. Then, in public school, everyone is supposedly a winner. The combination of these two things misconstrues social outcasts as heroic underdogs. Trust me, it's far from the truth.

If a person spends enough time doing nothing for themselves or anyone else, because of fear and self-doubt, they will eventually become mean. This is clearly evident by Jow Forums.

They're really pathological, though. You seem to have some good things about you. You're intelligent and polite, for one.

Empathy is a hard thing to teach, and you don't sound particularly receptive anyway.

An abridged version of the discussion:
>user: "People shouldn't let failures in dating discourage them from trying"
>Me: "It's easier said than done, since dating has a lot of psychological aspects to it, and each failed interaction takes something from you, so that continuously trying is not easy at all."
>user: "Duh, that's how it is"
>Me: "I've heard suffering is inevitable, but I can't bring myself to accept this"
>user: "Get over yourself faggot. If everyone else does it, so can you"

I'm kind of an outcast because I've had very limited social experiences early on (due to being a problematic child), therefore not developing social skills, and being unable to properly interact with those around me. This, plus inferiority complexes and fear of failure, led to me becoming a shut-in, and the lack of activity eventually made me lazy, so I was even less motivated to get out. With puberty, I became skinnyfat (I used to have a definitely less-than-balanced diet, but hyperactivity kept me skinny until I was around 12), so even more complexes arose, and sexual urges started becoming a thing, but I had no way of dealing with them.

>If a person spends enough time doing nothing for themselves or anyone else, because of fear and self-doubt, they will eventually become mean.
I actually wonder why that happens.

>you don't sound particularly receptive
Can I ask you what made you think this?

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Your rebuttal to user didn't work, and he ended up calling you a faggot. user is right about one thing: you don't have a choice when it comes to socializing. Someone like you can live as though he were a hermit, but the truth is that you want to socialize and eventually will.

Better to get started now while you're still young, to "get over yourself faggot" as user suggested.

To address what you said about relationships becoming worse after each successful failure, the key is to not have failures. People who are unsuccessful socially tend to think that being rejected by a "qt" is failure, but in truth being rejected by a qt is success in disguise.

A failure is successfully courting a woman who is a fucking bitch. *That* will tarnish your idea of dating and make your life worse. In a way, your avoidance of rejection will hurt you even more when you finally do decide to date. It could end up with you settling for someone weak in the personality department or, worse yet, the morality department.

I want to know if that makes sense to you or not.

If you find yourself making a post on Jow Forums about an interaction you had on Jow Forums, you just need to get over yourself

>you want to socialize and eventually will
I guess that's sort of true.
>Better to get started now while you're still young, to "get over yourself faggot"
Which brings me to the original point. What does "getting over yourself" even mean?(Also, I wouldn't call 28 "young", but maybe that's just me)
>the key is to not have failures
So it's a matter of how you look at it? If you're initiating a social interaction where the intent is to elicit a positive response, how is it not considered a failure if the response is negative?
>being rejected by a qt is success in disguise.
How is that?
>I want to know if that makes sense to you or not.
It does.

Unhelpul, I'm afraid.

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>What does "getting over yourself" even mean?
In the context of what the original user told you, it means "you are not special, you are not exempt from participating in society and experiencing the pain that everybody else feels. To assume otherwise is to act as if you are too good, too important of a person to have to suffer in order to find happiness"

That makes sense. I do kinda see the concept of me accepting such suffering as lowering myself to the level of all the others.
The fact is, apart from this delusion, I have nothing: I'm left with only the prospect of suffering in front of me.
How am I supposed to withstand the suffering until such time as I reach a shred of happiness through it?

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>I guess that's sort of true.
I'm certain it's 100% true.

>What does "getting over yourself" even mean?
Can't you infer it by what all anons have told you so far? If not, that's crazy.

>If the key is to solicit bla bla bla
It's infinitely better to fail at getting a good girl than it is to succeed at getting a bitchslut. Getting a bitchslut is the ultimate failure. Hopefully, if you improve yourself and try in life, you will get opportunities with good girls.

Breakups with good people don't leave you feeling like humanity is shit and you don't want to try anymore. If anything, the fact the fact a positive relationship existed is ultimately uplifting and motivating. Lots of people think "that one time I wasn't lonely" constitutes a positive experience, but it doesn't. Those parts of life, the living and loving aspects, are extremely difficult to master.

I don't know how to be any clearer than this. In case you haven't figured it out yet, the key is to be absolutely willing to face rejection, rather than dodging rejection by either being alone or hanging out with people who are shitty.

Outcome 1 (good)
Stacy: "user, you're cute, but you need to get a car."

Outcome 2 (not good)
You: "I'm going to do nothing for myself or anyone else."

Outcome 3 (very bad)
Jenny Herpazoid: "Wow, look what crawled into my web of regret and chlamydia. It's user."

>Can't you infer it by what all anons have told you so far?
This has seemed to be a good recap of the concept.
>be absolutely willing to face rejection
I see. I'm very afraid of ending up being hurt, but I guess I'll just have to toughen up, somehow.

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If stacy not wanting to hang out with you fucks your shit up then you've got problems like almost like frogposters do

>you've got problems
Well, duh.