Going away

Ya, i hear what you are saying. I will have to show some aversion to her leaving get a little jelly but maybe in a joking way.

Lol thats funny.

Ive been broken before I can handle it. Can't handle aids though.

>Can't handle aids though.

Most people can't

Thats a good question. like I said earlier when she brought it up, I said that sounds cool and just continued on with another conversation. I haven't brought it up since then, and I have not asked to go.

I am not baiting.

Would asking to go sound like I am not trusting her?

No, if you want to have fun, why not do it together?

how long have you two been going out?
you can ask (or more appropriately talk about it) but you can't insist. keep in mind if you go it becomes a social test and you will have to demonstrate that you can fit in seamlessly with her old group of friends and not be a buzzkill

>I feel like a girl who really respected me would not be putting herself into situations like this.
You are correct to feel this.

>Lol thats funny.

Sounds crazy but I'm 100% serious. If you're interested, send me an email.

[email protected]

this

been going out for 8 months now. I do fit pretty well in her crowd. No issues there in the past, that I am aware of.

Good. At least I am not alone in this matter. I fucking hate when girls do this. I feel like a girl if she had any wits about her would not be doing something like this because she would never be cool with the reverse situation.

LOL

just talk to her about how you feel. communication is key to a good relationship. if telling her how you feel causes her to break up with you, it was never going to last.

Oi good luck hopefully you won't be cucked.

Ya but do you think this is a sign of disrespect? Or maybe she is not really serious about the relationship?

it's not even about being "cool with it"
even if my boyfriend was cool with it because we're in a functional relationship and he trusts me, i still wouldn't do it
it's about respect and keeping your legs firmly closed together no matter the circumstance
i'm old fashioned tho

PAY THIS PROFESSIONAL ALREADY
ur relationship is on the line

>I feel like a girl if she had any wits about her would not be doing something like this

>something like this

you kind of sound like you're close to joining islam and not letting your wife leave the house unless she's supervised by a male family member

She isn’t committed to you. Perhaps its just a shit test, but it works both ways.

If i were you, “Hey Megan, I feel we aren’t on the same page and would like to see other people. I hope you have fun on your trip.” Block her number and be done with that noise.

Even if she doesnt bone them, you will always wonder.

Hand him your cash and find out the truth.

I bet for $100 more he would hand deliver a formal break up letter and read it with pride at her door for the neighborhood to enjoy.

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This, if she respected you she wouldnt want to lose you. My girl doesnt do dumb shit because she knows that I could dump her and find a replacement over the weekend.

Why aren't you going with them?
You are just going to let them have an orgy and not even participate?

Shots fired.

that sounds less like respect and more like a hostage situation

It’s the things that go unsaid that bind us, friend.

It's respect, man, why on earth would she want to bring other guys but not her boyfriend
Elucidate

>you kind of sound like you're close to joining islam and not letting your wife leave the house unless she's supervised by a male family member
you're either an idiot or a dumb femanon. In no way is OP not feeling comfortable about his girl going to get drunk with two other dudes comparable to the way Muslims treat women.
Goddamn you.

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Because there's clearly only two states: lets her go out and get drunk with other guys, explicitly without the company of her significant other
Or else you're Islamic

I was specifically talking about this bit

>My girl doesnt do dumb shit because she knows that I could dump her and find a replacement over the weekend.

that's not respect, that's something done out of fear

>that's not respect, that's something done out of fear
Not that user, but 'not drinking out with other guys because you respect your bf and know that he wouldn't put up with that' =/= fear

Why are you so hyperbolic?

>woman cannot go out with male friends
>woman cannot go drinking by herself
>woman especially cannot go out drinking with male friends

are you sure that's not entirely within the realm of islamic treatment of women

I find it interesting that you see it this way. We both habe the same understanding and hold each other to high expectations. I know she would leave me as well if I tried some dumb shit just the same.

>are you sure that's not entirely within the realm of islamic treatment of women
absolutely.

because she's living on his threat that he will dump her and find himself a new girl. That's not something done out of respect.

Maybe it's not full-blown fear but it's certainly done to avoid the consequence of that threat.

It's being a fuckin' prisonner lol people in prison still do what they're told by the guards but not because they respect them, simply because they don't want to be put in solitary or other consequences that come from disobedience

I don't know if the two of you holding constantly metaphorical loaded guns at each other's heads is the way I would want my relationships to be but to each their own

>I don't know if the two of you holding constantly metaphorical loaded guns at each other's heads
again with the exaggerations

Ya I am in no way trying to be like an islamic dude

Fascinating... for me its about having been in terrible relationships that i should have left years before i did. Now i have no hesitation to walk away from this relationship if it doesnt meet my standards. She knew this from the begining though. We’re a good fit because she feels the same, doesnt have room in her life for deadbeats and liars. Take that how you wish.

Ya i agree. see I want a girl who has the same expectations of me as I do of her. AKA. I would not go to montreal with my buddy and two single girls without her. And she would not do that either because we both respect the complexities of relationships and do not feel the need to shit test one another.

There is no reason I should make her feel uncomfortable with my actions if I cared about hers. Shit testing is something I think all girls do at the beginning of a relationship however it should end once she has decided to be with one guy and he passed those shit tests.

My girl goes out all the time with her friends when I am not around. Drinking doing coke blah blah blah. I don't have any issue with it. However her going to an airbnb for the weekend with her best friend and two guys is fucked up, and the fact she hasen't invited me and is thinking nothing of it is concerning about her character, and or of her perception of our relationship and where it is going.

I would not disrespect my girl and do something like this if I cared about her. I think this all boils down to respect.

Or perhaps she is so aloof and liberal she doesn't see it to be an issue and expects me to feel the same way.

that's wasn't an exaggeration, that was what we call a "metaphor" in English. There is actually no loaded guns. The loaded guns are the notion that either one would dump the other in the blink of an eye if they did something the other didn't approve of.

like the soviet union and america both pointing nukes at each other

i'd do it for $100

but honestly this sounds like the plot to a movie where the "stalker" turns out to be some creep and ends up killing everyone and eventually OP himself

Im ok with this...

Ya i think i need to man up and show her actions have consequences. If she is too aloof to think this is an okay thing to do while in a relationship, we simply are not a match and maybe she needs one of those open relationship type of dudes.

Such a pain in the ass. I was single for two years before meeting this girl. I met her offline too which was even better.

Not really looking to be single again, but definitely know myself and my standards and i want an easy relationship not something where my girl is gonna leave me wondering about her thought process / actions.

when she goes out and drinks and does coke with her friends all the time, you know that there is way more than just two guys around her then, right?

>However her going to an airbnb for the weekend with her best friend and two guys is fucked up, and the fact she hasen't invited me and is thinking nothing of it is concerning about her character, and or of her perception of our relationship and where it is going.

It's probably just an issue of logistics cause like you said they had planned this ahead of time before you guys were dating right? They already have all the rooms booked and shit and they can't just throw in an extra bed in there it's not like going camping where you can just bring another tent.

no i get that. but its just for the night and nine times out of ten she is coming back to my place after. unless she tells me otherwise.

Ya true she did plan it before we got together but the addition of the dudes is what is concerning me. Originally it was just her and her GFs.

>gf didn't invite you along too upon making you her boyfriend
Uh oh spaghettio

>The loaded guns are the notion that either one would dump the other in the blink of an eye if they did something the other didn't approve of.
That's what literally every single relationship, platonic or otherwise, is based on.

When was the last time you went outside?

>That's what literally every single relationship, platonic or otherwise, is based on.

breaking up with my girlfriend of 4 years because she didn't place the groceries on the shelf the right way

So the answer to my question is "over a decade ago, at least"?

>planned it before we got together
W e l l p

what are you talking about

You're socially inept.

yes id start hitting her to establish control

well that's a rude thing to say baka

Go with her. That’s what I did. Met chick at a bar, hit it off, she went to NOLA a couple days later. I decided fuck it and went on my own. Dumb luck ran into her on Bourbon Street, started to rain, soaking wet, kissing on the street, holding hands, back to hotel, fucking - didn’t leave one another’s side for months.

I'm in Ottawa but for $100 i'll go down to Montreal and sleep with her

I'm in France but I'll fly to Ottawa to beat this guy up for $12

Do the guys have girlfriends?

If not your gf is probably gunna get the D

>she did plan it before we got together but the addition of the dudes is what is concerning me. Originally it was just her and her GFs.
Holy shit is that sketchy. Ask your gf if you can come with and see what happens.

fuck some other bitch while shes away

Yeah for sure. It was one thing if the trip was planned out with the guys originally but them joining in later? sketchy as fuck.

>Its almost like this is one big shit test I am suppose to pass

Of course it is. If you let her go and fucked by his "friends" with only making faces about it, then youre a worthless doormat to be mooched on as long its comfortable.

No one in the right mind would EVER accept something like this, much less propose. She doesnt see you as an equal, this is a test to see your availability as a boytoy and a provider.

>I feel like a girl who really respected me would not be putting herself into situations like
This is the part I don't get. I totally understand struggling with emotions and apprehensiveness concerning your romantic partners and with events that test your trust for them but you wandered into very sketchy territory by assuming that your personal struggles with trust in relationships has anything to do with her respect for you.

The unfortunate truth it that, before you die, you will probably experience a thousand more moments in which you're going to forced to trust a woman in your life to be an adult, set her own boundaries and decide for herself who she does and doesn't want in her life. I have a young daughter and every single day is a test on my soul. I want so much to jump in front of everything she does in life and manhandle all of her decisions and relationships but that would ruin my relationship with her and probably drive her closer to the things I want her to avoid. Until she gives me a reason not to trust her I have to.

I'm not telling you that this is going to work out every time. People are weird. People fuck up. People get hurt. What I am telling you is that, yes, being supportive of her going on this trip is taking a chance, however, trying to control her life because of your insecurities or fear is a not taking a chance; it is a 100% likelihood recipe for resentment and relationship death. If your girlfriend has actually given you a reason not to trust her then you need to evaluate more than just this trip; you need to evaluate your whole relationship. If you trust your girlfriend and believe that she is mature enough to set appropriate boundaries with the people in her life and you want to continue having a happy relationship then you have no choice; you're going to have to work these emotions in house and not put that responsibility on her.

Regardless of how you feel about those options they are, incidentally, your only ones.

user, I was like you, I trusted the person I loved more than anyone in the world. She was who I considered my soulmate, my missing piece, my reason for waking up in the morning and my best friend.

I never minded her with other men until she kept talking about one. I thought nothing of it and that nothing would come of it.

Four months later he confesses his feelings and I not only lose my lover of 5 years but also lose my best friend (since he's a manipulative piece of shit and has her not talking to me).

If I were you, I'd say to try to get in the trip with them. Otherwise chances are she will return thankful you trusted her but also hoping you'll be happy with her new choice of mate. Goodluck user.

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>the dangers of anecdotal advice

Pay this guy. You guys have to report back, would be the best thread on adv since forever.

speaking from experience is the only way to really know what you're talking about, plus doesn't hurt to vent a little.

She's grown up and she made her own decisions run away with that other guy. From an outside perspective it looks like she was only with you because she didn't think that other guy had feelings for her. Why else would she immediately jump to him when he confessed his feelings. If she really loved you and was really your soulmate and all that bullshit then him confessing his feelings would mean nothing to her she would have just told him to fuck off and laugh it off and still been with you. It sucks that 5 years went down the drain but there might have been warning signs before that and maybe a bright side is you at least you didn't waste 10 years until she found another guy she liked better and jumped on him. Women are not children although sometimes you might think they act like it they're grown adults and they need to be held accountable for their decisions. If your partner doesn't straight up reject other people when they flirt or anything like that then they're probably a shity person to be in a relationship with and nothing you should look at as serious. Because in my experience if you really care about your partner and want to be with them no matter what and all that stuff you're going to work on things through the bad times and no matter who comes along saying they want to be with you or do this or that you're not going to go because you don't want that you want your partner. For the op dude if she really enjoyed your company and care about you that much she would probably invite you on the trip. And she might be somebody that just wants to use people and run around behind their backs doing whatever she wants and I don't know how to explain it, we're all fucking adults here we all know what questionable behaviors are. nobody deserves trust right off the bat it's something they have to show that they deserve it's okay to not trust somebody because they haven't earned trust yet I don't see why a lot of people get that fucked up

nigger

(Poster here) that puts things into perspective a little. Nonetheless I still would want to become the person she'd want all over again, call it sad but I love that girl. If I ever do get the chance again I won't make the same mistake twice.

>going somewhere without you
>with a friend
>and two guys no fucking less
>alcohol being involved in any way shape or form
Jesus Christ OP do we have to spell it out for you? She’s a whore and she’s going to get drunk off her ass and fuck one or both of those guys
Kick her ass to the curb

Jesus Christ I almost wanna pay this guy just to feed the flames. Can we get a pool going?

I agree with this user, this thread has the seeds to build a memorable experience. Three hundred dollars is a small price to pay.

>I feel like a girl who really respected me would not be putting herself into situations like this.
Ok, then be done with this.

Hey look man I'm trying to help you here. She's not the person you think she was. I don't know your situation specifically here but I'm just talking in general from my life experience. Now looking for a woman like the one you fell in love with that actually real and not a fake motherfucker that's going to run away if they get an offer that they think is better in their eyes that's a cool thing to do. But fuck that one bitch. Even if you did become this perfect guy who was everything she wanted she sounds like she's just too, I don't how to put it, she doesn't care about other people as much as she pretends to. And no matter who she meets or who she's with she will probably fuck around on or run away for something she feels is better for her because all she really thinks about no matter what she says is herself and what she's going to have and what people are going to provide for her and what they're going to do for her and how she's going to manipulate things to get what she wants. this isn't all woman this is just the type of woman that the lady you describe sounds like. And yes I know she made you feel like she was true and really loved you or something like that but when you weren't around she was doing that with other guys like a Walmart greeter they seem very open and friendly to you but they seem like that to everybody and to them the openness and friendliness is just a fake fucking facade. And I know it's shity and it sucks having some like that play games with you but fuck'em don't think about it no more their piece of shit you deserve better so I can go find an actual woman that isn't going to lie to you play stupid fucking games when you're being honest and real anyway I wish I could find some honest and real girls or people is very few not there's none just very few.

What are the sleeping arrangements that you can't just come along and share her bed?
Do you not like the activities they're doing or why would she not toss you an invite?

Telling people that "my girlfriend broke my heart and left me therefore your girlfriend will break your heart and leave you" is not advice or speaking with experience its just projection.

>Hey look man I'm trying to help you here. She's not the person you think she was. I don't know your situation specifically here but I'm just talking in general from my life experience. Now looking for a woman like the one you fell in love with that actually real and not a fake motherfucker that's going to run away if they get an offer that they think is better in their eyes that's a cool thing to do. But fuck that one bitch. Even if you did become this perfect guy who was everything she wanted she sounds like she's just too, I don't how to put it, she doesn't care about other people as much as she pretends to. And no matter who she meets or who she's with she will probably fuck around on or run away for something she feels is better for her because all she really thinks about no matter what she says is her

Well I can agree on a lot of that but I don't think she cheated prior. Sure she thought of it but that's just human, if anything she left because I was too distant, got anxious before moving and then got angry. Nonetheless though, I should look for someone like her(I have found someone) I just don't want to be hurt again.