My fiance and I aren't overly religious but we do believe that sex should be with the one you love and want to marry...

Not having sex is a bad thing for relationships. It's not healthy. It's not a coincidence that the only ones who advocate not having sex are incels.

Its highly contextual. Chastity and monogamy done for the wrong reasons are just as harmful as sexual behavior done for the wrong reasons. We need to stop pretending like all chastity and monogamy is inherently healthy and get down to the nuances of people's motivation.

As long as you're safe and responsible there's literally no reason to not have sex. Nothing terrible is going to happen if you do. Losing your virginity is overrated anyway, just get on with it and figure out if you're sexually compatible before you try to get married. It's a bitch to figure that out when it's too late.

So your telling me that if OP's sex life is less than perfect she should split up? That's making the whole relationship/marriage hang on the sexual aspect when it shouldn't.

>So your telling me that if OP's sex life is less than perfect she should split up?
That's a pretty weak strawman, user.

Because sexual incompatibility is real.
What if you are in a relationship with your partner all your life and never had sex, then end up getting married only to find out they don't like sex and never want to have it again while you were the one that does like sex? Don't you think that's a big problem for a relationship?

This Sexual compatibility hogwash is always spread by fucking western societies. Your sex drives change its never the same. Compatibility can be worked on. What you people want is instant gratification instant compatibility.

Having a loving monogamous relationship between people who haven't been with anyone else is the best.

Here we go again, a teenager bitter virgin thinking he is an expert on this subject. You obviously have zero experience about relationships, so why are you trying to give advice about them? Your worldview is shaped by Disney movies. I hope you are underaged, because if you are an adult, you are an adult with a child's mindset.

Another person who cannot understand people have different values and principles shaped by their culture. Sex is not just some pleasurable experience, it also results in procreation and you don't think something as monumental as important is that have restrictions?

tl;dr you indeed have zero experience or knowledge about the subject but try to give advice anyway because hurr sex bad

sex is not bad. It's a wonderful and beautiful but also sacred thing that must be confined in the context of marriage, love, family.

You people keep on strawmaning chastity and abstinence supporters as thinking sex is evil when its not. There is just a time a place for everything

No, but every person on earth has both a personal belief about how important sex is to a relationship, and a libido that might differ seriously from their sexual partner. In a relationship where either of those things is in great disharmony, it can be a huge crack in the foundation of an otherwise good relationship. It doesn't necessarily mean it will end, but it could.

My point was only it's important that everyone's on the same page about the only sex you'll be having for the rest of your life, and going into marriage as dewy-eyed virgins just hoping it'll all work out is somewhat unrealistic.

>must be
Says who? And why?

Incels are immune to reason, you're wasting your time.

>It's a wonderful and beautiful but also sacred thing that must be confined in the context of marriage, love, family.
This is just sad. I guess nobody ever had sex or babies before white Christian marriage became a thing, huh?

But OP doesn't want to have multiple sexual partners. You are basically telling her to sleep around first which is anti ethical to her values and principles. You have to understand, people who are raised with these values are usually thought hat sex is not the most important thing of a committed relationship. They also believe in til death to us part rather that stay together until I can stand you. They are thought that staying committed to keeping a family together is paramount of personal needs. Your sex life is small price to pay for the happiness for you children. In the end some problems with sexual intimacy is exaggerated and can be fixed by counseling and communication which usually people who share those values are already thought to by their parents

Virginal Marriage predates Christianity and is prevalent in multiple cultures around the world

There is simply no way to guarantee OP will only ever have one sexual partner. If they are engaged to be married it's as strong of a sign as can be. Why wait, when you know you will be married? There is absolutely nothing to gain from waiting from now until marriage, only causing misery.

As is casual sex. Or harems.

Civilizations with loose sexual morals tend to fall

As do civilizations with strict sexual restrictions.

no not really.

youtube.com/watch?v=UxpVwBzFAkw

Not going to watch some youtube video. Why don't you present actual facts? Oh wait, you can't because you have nothing. The fact is that the civilizations with the most sexual repression today are also the least successful.

It's another "if you don't like casual sex it's because you're a bitter intel" episode
Honestly I'd rather kill myself than take advice from you guys
>inb4 "Then kil yourself xddd"

It's another "if you have sex before marriage it's because you're a whore" episode. Why will you bitter virgins not learn?

>t. sex before marriages whore