How To Get Sick?

I want to get visibly sick enough to miss out on a certain event, but I also do not want to die or shit my brains out for over a week.

Would eating raw meat do the trick? If so, how much should I eat?
I need answers ASAP pls

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Dude, just say you are sick. Stay home, don't go anywhere. You are shitting your brains out.

Of course I would just tell people involved I won't make it to the event. If they ask why, it is because I am exhausted from work and would be cranky as hell or sleep during it which would be rude. I would rather miss it than be a problem.

They live with me. I need to look visibly sick. Wom't work otherwise.

What is the event?

You know their is a syrup that will make you throw up like crazy right ?

Epicac.

Get some.

Licks your palms. Rub your palms on your face.
Blow your nose with 1000 grit sandpaper until desired redness and chafing is achieved. Sniff a lot. Make gross throat noises. Carry a box of tissues around.
Spend an unreasonable amount of time in a shared bathroom whenever you have to poop. Be sure you actually have to poop, the smell sells it.
The piece de resistance is syrup of ipecac, which makes you vomit violently. This is a showpiece that cements your entire story. Get some on their shoes, drama sells.
This is the basic set. Non specific but irritating symptoms. If you need more I can get you out of anything. I Ferris Bueller'd an entire month out of high school and even fooled my doctor.

I've got experience in this, try to stay in bed until the people try to wake you up and groan and say you feel like shit when they do.

Take a long and hot shower to dehydrate your skin and walk around as if you're sick (slowly and pretend you need to put in a lot of effort to do any actions) and most important of all - don't go out of character.

Has always worked for me, I don't recommend making yourself sick by eating raw meat etc.

Just spend a lot of time on the bathroom and say you have diarrhea.
Nobody inquires about diarrhea.

Don't be hydrated, sometimes just run to the toilet and stick your finger down your throat. You will vomit. Should be enough for them.

Wouldn't it be better to be hydrated if you want to vomit?

I've had really bad gastro 3x, twice overseas and once at home. 2/3 times actually went to hospital for it. I wouldn't recommend it to anyone, ever, its always the most god awful 5+ hours of vomit and shit

Raw meat will probably not make you sick at all. It’s surprising how clean the shit actually is.

>I need to look visibly sick.
No you don’t.

Unless you’re underage and talking about your parents. In which case this retardation actually makes a small amount of sense.

It's never hurt me at all ( beef that is), but I always eat it pretty rare anyhow

Better to eat a raw acorn.

The tannic acid will make you throw up, and after you do you'll feel better immediately.

I used this trick to go home from school pretty regularly as a kid.

Of course, it would be kind of pathetic for an adult to do it.

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What did you do with all that time?

When I was a kid I put a thermometer in a candle for a second so it looked like I had a fever. It worked.

Would it work if you left out a piece of cooked meat (sausage) at room temperature for a day and then ate it?

Absolutely not. Sausage particularly. Shit’s packed with wonderful preservatives.

What the fuck? How underage are you that you think food, particularly cooked food, becomes poisonous just from sitting at room temp for a day or so? How the fuck do you think humans survived before refrigeration?

Please don’t use ipecac. It’s quite toxic. In fact it’s not manufactured anymore because of the toxicity and because it wasn’t useful for anything. The only use believed to be reasonable had been to induce vomiting after ingesting poison, but even that’s considered so doubtful that the last manufacturers stopped producing it in 2010.

What about milk? Maybe mix it with some orange juice or alcohol too?

Interestingly soured milk might not make you sick. It’s usually lactobacillus doing it, which is just fucking yogurt bacteria. If it’s so old that it’s gone moldy, then that’s probably not so great, but honestly it’s a bit like how acid-curdled cheese is made. The problem is whether there are other bacteria like shigella, staph, or salmonella contaminating it. In most cases those shouldn’t be present unless you contaminated the milk yourself.

I mean, it tastes gross so you might feel unwell, but I don’t think in most cases that it’s actually harmful.

But, yes, milk will sour pretty quickly.

dont try to kys over an event user, you have any rights to say you dont wanna go
stop being a cuck

I just microwaved it for 2 minutes. I'll probably do the same a few more times tomorrow.
Hoe would I contaminate it?

Do you smoke OP? If not just slam on a fuckton of nicotine patches.

Fuckoutahere with your underaged shit

Suck my negro penis

eat the half of a cigarrette

Bro, google tapeworms.

I've seen this a lot. How does it work? Would it not be dangerous?
Also, I read it only lasts for about an hour or so. Is that true?

Absolutely don't do this OP People have died from that. You can overdose on nicotine very easily, especially if you don't smoke and have a tolerance to it.

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I've smoked about 5 of them in my life. Last one was about 2 months ago. Would eating half of one be too much?

So that trick in Jojo and Cowboy Bebop where they eat the cigarettes can actually kill you?

Get a tall glass of water, pour a shitload of salt into it (until it no longer dissolves) and chug it. You'll almost immediately vomit. Repeat a few times as necessary to keep up appearances. And stay hydrated in between obviously.

You can always throw up by drinking salt water. It's not a pleasant experience.

Drink Visine at the beginning of the event. You'll start having seizures and be rushed immediately to the hospital. You'll recover in about a day or two and people will know that you didn't just flake out on them.

I can't imagine an adult needing to fake an illness.

Just don't go.

Nigga

Nic isn't actually as toxic as first thought. Originally, as much as 60mg was thought deadly but it's been upped to about ~700mg to be deadly (although obviously this will vary quite a bit).

Eating half a cig would probably give you about 20mg, which would give you some unpleasant effect, especially if you're not a smoker. It would likely pass quickly and not be dangerous however.