So Ive known this girl for a few months now. Shes a bit older than me and a lot more experienced (Im a kissless virgin). I have a crush on her, I never felt this way for anyone before. I told her that I like her her a few weeks ago and she rejected me at first but we agreed on staying/ becoming friends. We text every day and hang out a lot, at least two times a week. Since then we have become a lot closer, talking/ texting about personal and emotional stuff a lot. In the last three weeks or so shes become a lot more flirty. She hugs me really tight and long at the beginning of every hangout and touches me all the time, stuff like scratching my knee, poking my belly, driving her fingers through my hair and putting her head on my shoulder. When I do the same to her she doesnt mind. Last thursday we talked over text about emotional stuff again and I told her that she should stop interacting the way she does with me if shes not doing it out of genuine affection/ interest of any kind but only for either of us to feel better about ourselves. Pic related was her response. Later that day she spontaniously invited me for lunch/ dinner. We shared a pizza she paid for. Afterwards we took a walk through the park where she after a joke about me being handsome looked me in the eyes and repeadetly started driving her fingers through my hair again. When I had to go she called her friend who lives near me if she can hang out at her place and we drove a bit longer together. We hugged when I had to go and she gave me a kiss on the cheek. To me this seems like a date. I feel great but at the same time this is all new and scary for me and I dont know how to escalate into kissing or even holding hands. Ive tried flirting more actively over text and the response is definetly positive. Shes also making a lot more romantically charged jokes, stuff like us getting married etc. We have a lot more meetings planned, maybe Im seeing her tomorrow. Help a clueless guy out Jow Forums.
Dating(?) a girl, what do
OP, here is some advice. The next time you make a thread, use the return key to break your post into a few paragraphs instead of one large fucking clump of a mess.
Doing so may actually encourage people to read what you wrote and give a response.
Cancel the date, make her wait a couple of days to increase her hunger for you, then next time you go out make your move. Don't put her on a pedestal make her understand she is getting something special by getting you
Everything sounds good. Just continue seeing her. Let her know you like her and youre interested in being with her.
Don't do this. A guy who cancels an early date shows flakiness and she will lose interest
Here's an idea, don't play games.
And don't listen to the hoardes of wanna be fuckbois who view women as some aloen creature around here either.
Just ask to go on a coffee date and be confident. That's it.
Im really scared of kissing her. My gameplan for the next date was just to grab her hand or put my arm around her shoulder when we are sitting. When would I even kiss her? Probably after saying:"Hey, I had a great time today." when saying goodbye right? Should I just lean in and do it or ask her if shes okay with it? Im at a loss here and Im stressing out over it to be honest.
Im wasnt going to do that anyways, no worries. She knows that Im mentally ill and have no experience anyways so the "just b urself" approach seems to work if we follow the premise that shes into me.
I would recommend it either when you're saying goodbye, or at some time when you've got a quiet moment alone. It should be a moment when you're already in close proximity. And don't ask, just lean in and kiss her. Or do. That's something you'll have to decide on your own. I got my previous girlfriend by just kissing her when we were alone together at some point.
>"since you're older you have more experience with (whatever it is you need help with), i really don't have much. could you help guide me through it?"
The guy straight up said she used the friend line bud, when they pull that out it is time for action. This is valuable advice I am giving here that works, all humans work harder for the things that they don't have it is in our nature. If you want this kid to be cucked into a friends only relationship by all means keep telling him to ignore that and ask her out, I'm trying to help the guy
There are a thousand videos on how and when to kiss a date on youtube , check them out they will help
I'm a woman bud and here isn't some universal language we all use. We are just people and he knows her in real life as opposed to your assumptions about whatever she could have meant.
It would be better for him to just have confidence and do what he thinks he should do and let it play out. It isn't the end of the world if it doesn't.
The thing is that I dont even know if we are dating. Im probably just freaking out but Im really afraid of her not actually liking me in the way that I like her. I mean she did read my plea for only staying flirty and physical if shes interested and she asked me out on the same day and kinda escalated things herself. However straight up asking her where this is going or if she can guide me through it is something I dont want to ask her but I cant exactly put my finger on why it feels wrong. Im going to ask her for guidance if things should we end up in the bedroom though.
I mean she does seem interested. Do you know girls who would act that way to someone who is just a friend? Its also not like Im always available, if anything she makes time for me since her schedule is tighter by a large margin.
Ok the good news is she still likes you, so the odds are in your favor. But if you want to win her over you need to stop acting like a beta faggot or you're going to dry her pussy up, and she's going to leave.
First off, never tell a girl outright that you like her. You want to keep her guessing, that's what's going to build her interest in you. Your goal as a man, is to make her like you, and keep her guessing on if you like her back. This is going to drive her crazy in a good way, and release a bunch of endorphins in her brain.
That's what's happened to you here
>I have a crush on her, I never felt this way for anyone before.
It's a chemical response. That's the "spark" women are always talking about. It's not magic, and it's not something random. You can trigger it in almost any girl, if you know what your doing.
You can trigger that spark buy pushing her primal buttons. Think back to how children when they first discover the opposite sex, before society has put it's hooks in your masculinity, what do they do? They tease each other. If girl likes you, she will start to tease you. This is her indication that she's into you and wants to flirt. She wants you to tease her back. But you're probably not teasing her, you're probably telling her hoe great and beautiful she is, and how much you like and adore her. That's where you're going wrong. You're boring her.
This is where the whole nice guys finish last thing stems from. You need to despel of your fear of teasing or lightly insulting her. When you compliment a girl, you need to give her a light, playful dig at the same time. It's called push/pull. look it up and learn how to do it.
My dude, I might be a mentally ill virgin but Im not a retard. There is plenty of teasing going on on both sides. Im just a bit of a gloomy person and she knows that. Its not like I tell her how great she is all the time, I just wanted to let her know that she has quite the emotional impact on me and I that she should stop if shes toying with me. In our day to day conversations I am actually taking it easier now and I do genuinenly feel a kind of relieve because she does seem to like me. However not talking to her about my emotional state at all because I might look like a weak beta is something Im not willing to do. I can already tell that that would be terrible for my mental health and if anything she got interested only after we discussed personal stuff and got to know each other better. Admittedly she did say that I seemed clingy/ desperate at first and thats because I was. I was going through a really rough time during and after the rejection but I pulled through and started working on myself and I explicitly told her that I was not doing this to woo her but because I wanted out of the dark place I was in. Her showing interest only happened afterwards and after we kept talking.
So just to give you a real world example, there's a girl at work that's been giving really clear signs she's into me, and she's started to tease me lately. I think I've decided i'm going to pursue her and see where things go. Here's my game plan.
Next time she teases me i'm going to respond with this.
"So you've been teasing me a lot lately, you're a little bit of a troublemaker are'nt you"
This signals a few things without even saying them. First, I KNOW what she's up to, I recognize that she's flirting with me, and is interested in me, and just maybe, I might be interested in her too, because i'm being playful.
She may respond to this in many ways, but let's say she says something like
"No, i'm a goodgirl :)"
And I might respond with
"Haha are you sure about that, sometimes good girls miss out on all the fun!"
So let's say she smiles and giggles and says
"Haha, what's that supposed to mean, user?"
I could respond
"You're not very good at this are you, it's probably for the best that you don't know."
If you notice here, i'm slowly building sexual tension, I'm telling her exactly what I want, without saying anything regarding her appearance, or anything openly sexual at all. Most of this conversation is all in the subtext.
You're NOT in a relationship yet though. That's the problem, your unloading you emotions on someone before you'v even built attraction with her.
You SHOULD be toying with each other, feeling each other out. You're being way to serous and open, way to fast. Just date her for a bit, have some fun. No one wants to be loaded with the problems of someone they barely even know.
I appreciate that you are trying to help me, I really am. I think that the girl Im maybe dating and me skipped past the point you are describing entirely though. I am flirting with her, like I said and I dont mean "OMG you are a goddess" flirting. Both of us use banter all the time. Sure, when she does something thats cute Im going to say that its cute but if I can say something funny and still complementing even if its demeaning Im gonna do that instead. Without wanting to toot my own horn Im quite good with words, its just the physical side I struggle with since Im not a physical person in general and especially contrast to her.
Waaaaaaaaaaaaaay too late for that. I know where you are coming and this is something I normally wouldnt do to a girl Im interested in and barely know. I just met her at a really weird time in my life in general, moving out of my parents house, moving to a big city, starting university etc. When I approached her and got her number I didnt even do it with the slightest intention of romance, I just wanted to make a platonic friend. It was only after we already spoke about personal shit that I noticed that I was falling for her and I expect nothing out of it/ didnt even want these emotions. Thats why I told her immediately. She was more important to me as a friend at the time and she still kind of us now. You cant rationalize your feelings however. Think of this less as a girl being clearly interested in me and me blowing it by unloading my mental baggage onto her and more of (hopefully) two friends noticing that they like each other as more than that, even if the time frame for that is a lot shorter than one would think.
Yeah I don't have much experience in that situation, I don't tipically keep girls as friends. If you really valued her as a platonic friend, it is for the best that you were open with her about your feelings. You cant have a real friendship if one person is secretly in love with the other.
But the best way to handle girls, is to let them do the work and come to you. If she is interested in you, she will make an effort to be with you. Don't try to force anything, give her some space to process what's happening. The worse thing you can do is be too eager/pushy and go to hard to fast, and push her away.