ITT: Ask The Opposite Gender Anything

Hey, it's your life, dude. But trust me on this one: out there you'll find literally thousands of girls, just as coll and attractive, if not more, that won't keep you hanging like her. But you won't find them while you're wasting your time waiting for this one.

Because humans are not monogamous. Your instincts are for you to spread your seed.

>But you won't find them while you're wasting your time waiting for this one.

not that guy, but I sure wish I'd heard this sooner in life.

I never said I won't be out looking for others. I just said that I'd rather atleast keep this open and just give one last proper shot.

How much was I in the wrong here?

Girlfriend lives about half an hour away. Her parents went out of town for the next few days. So we have been planning for like a week this romantic evening. I bought candles, chocolates and massage oil. The works. She's at her sisters and tells me shes super drunk and that I should leave at 8. I'm a little ticked off cause we've been planning this for so long and all day I had been packing and planning the trip but whatever. Then she says shes too drunk to drive home, date is cancelled and I should just come over tomorrow. I get upset. She feels like shit and apologized. So we are going to move past it but she said something like "im so wasted I dont know if Ill be able to get home." Which just irritated me. I know this was wrong but I said "maybe I should just stay home the next couple of days."

This then turns into this huge fight where she tells me its unhealthy and shes deeply disturbed because I said everything was okay but was still upset. I tell her to put herself in my shoes and shes all "no if you were drunk with your friends id just cancel the date and not get upset at all. I cant believe youre mad at me for spending time with my sister" so the night weve been planning for so long is ruined and I feel conflicted.

Also I dont think she was with another guy. She was posting pics of her and her sister all day on FB.

>Meet a girl after moving to a new city 6 months ago. We are great friends and talk all the time. Has a boyfriend but is going to break up with him. Complicated because they share an apartment.
>She's in a dnd campaign I run with some friends at my place. She usually gets drunk as an excuse to stay after everyone else has left to "sober up" but I think it's an excuse to spend time with me alone. Last night she cuddles up to me as we watch Netflix. First time we've really had prolonged contact like that.
>Wtf do I do here? Do I tell her how I feel? Wait for her to break up with her boyfriend first? I'm not crazy in thinking she's into me too am I?

Sure thing. But you've only got so much mental bandwidth, is all I'm saying.

Yeah, that's why I'm giving the advice. Been there myself.

>Because humans are not monogamous. Your instincts are for you to spread your seed.

humans aren't that simple. There are multiple strategies for getting your dna into the next generation.

She's wrong, she would definitely be just as mad if it was reversed. As a rule of thumb don't argue with drunk people though. Just wait for things to calm down and sober up and then re evaluate the plans.

ask me again in 10 years

Girls, how often are you supposed to text in a relationship? I started going out with a girl last week but I don't really want to text her for a multitude of reasons. I feel like my life is very boring and it would just be forcing it to tell her that my sandwich had too much mustard on it or some crap like that. I also don't want to seem desperate. But at the same time I don't want to be too distant and have her forget about me.

Does my older sister appreciate it when I send her texts reminding her I love her?

Why do I feel this twinge of shame, disgust, impurity, and self loathing when I allow myself to think about women sexually?

That is true and I'm not denying it. But our instincts are not those of a monogamous animal. The fact that religions worldwide are full of cautionary tales and safeguards against adultery and our society used to be structured to prevent sleeping around should tell you something about human nature.
I'm not implying that you have to act on those instincts. But you asked why temptation is a bitch, and that's the answer.

Yes, and you're a good brother for doing it. It would never have occurred me to do that.

I don't know about that one. Did you have an upbringing that framed sexuality in a bad light?

Well either he's extremely hot and you seem to have a lot in common when you first start talking to him. That's usually a trap.

Or you become friends with a dude, you don't think of him as boyfriend material until maybe a year or more. That should be the way to go, but there's no guarantee the feelings will be reciprocated.
In my case, I just realized how much we have in common and how we help each other in time of need.

The spark is the similarity in interests, the intelligence and if he's not ugly.
The window stays open until the dude turns out to be shite or he's not interested at all.

Don't start orbiting people you're interested in though. Nobody likes that.

Drop it.

>But our instincts are not those of a monogamous animal

You don't know this. Some men and women are monogamous because it allows them to protect their children until they are old enough to have children, further spreading their dna. Others might roam and spreed more seed, hoping for quantity over quality, while in the wild those children would each have a greater chance to die.

Also, as aside, gay men spread their dna by protecting their families. Their mothers and sisters have some of their dna, so by being gay and focusing on their family, they give their sister's children and their mothers future children a greater chance to survive.

And another aside, pedophiles exist because they used to have a greater chance of passing on thier dna because they targeted younger women that normal men wouldn't pursue.

Every day if the girl wants. You gotta find out when she starts getting annoyed.

To the girls lurking and posting here, what is your opinion on guys who own anime merch?
How much of a turn off is it?
Would you date someone who owns a lewd body pillow?

Do I have to get my gf's 'permission' to buy a motorbike?

We've been together about 4 months, both mid 20s. I have ridden in the past but gave it away for a few years.

Not grill but in my last 3 relationships there was an almost-constant text conversation happening when we weren't actually spending time together. Sometimes it would only be a handful of messages in a day, other times dozens or maybe hundreds depending on what we were each doing/free time.

Girls,

Now that I'm older, I've had 4 or 5 female friends admit that back at such and such year they thought I was cute and that I had a chance.

When I do the math, it seems like I only had a few months of a chance. The worst are the ones that name a period while I was dating someone else, or heart broken over a break up and didn't want to be with anyone.

Do you think they're being honest, or just being cunts?

Have any of you been interested in a male friend so very briefly? What caused it and why did you change your mind? Or do you say this as some way to poke or encourage a male friend, knowing that is mostly harmless?

Children are a trap

>Did you have an upbringing that framed sexuality in a bad light?
I mean I guess. I'm having trouble piecing that out. I did feel like girls were more important than I was and repeatedly said no my first time

>Some men and women are monogamous because it allows them to protect their children until they are old enough to have children, further spreading their dna.
This does not contradict what I said. They may act in a monogamous fashion, for some time (divorces), for the most part (adultery). The underlying instincts are still those of, respectively, polygamous males and hypergamous females. And as for the gay men and pedophiles, you are not wrong, but you are ignoring the horny sister hypothesis and also doing some weird double-think by accepting that, but denying heterosexuals nonmonogamous instincts.
Just read more evolutionary psychology, you're obviously somewhat versed in the subject, but not enough to get over your own hang-ups and puritanism. The simple fact that you feel attraction to plenty of other girls besides your girlfriend, which was the point of your initial post, is proof that you are not a monogamous animal. And neither is your girlfriend, by the way. Or your parents. Or anyone else. That doesn't mean you can't control your instincts and behave in a monogamous fashion.

You're waifu is a trap

I don't like anime myself so it's a turn-off, and it's a very big turn-off if he's seriously invested in it.
>third question
No, never.

I agree she's probably into you but what ever you do, do not come between their relationship. Let it end.

Obviously there is something in the relationship that's not working, and when she cuddled up to you she was getting an intimacy fix, but if you hasten their break up there is a huge chance she will end up resenting you for forcing your way in.

Let their relationship end without allowing this girl to put you in the basket with the other men who make her feel good but expect nothing in return. Don't let her do too much lovey-dovey shit until she's left the other guy. Hard as it is I'd recommend you draw a line and don't repeat what happened.

>do I tell her how I feel
It bothers me how much I see this on here. Life is not like your chinese cartoons and you don't just confess to having feelings. You ask someone out on a date, you date them, you go exclusive, then you're fine to admit that you like someone. If you just up and tell a girl you like her then you're putting her on the spot and you will likely get an answer you don't want to hear, especially if she's already got someone.

Also pro tip: girls who are "in the process" of leaving a guy but "it's complicated" are probably not going to leave the guy on any sort of reliable schedule. She's probably not happy but that sort of relationship is hard to get out of.

Slavery is illegal, last I checked. You can do whatever you want, user, you're a free man.

>Implying

I have a 3D gf, but I'll be damned if I have kids.

You know what I mean though, do I have to let her have a say in it? I'll probably get it anyway because I added it up and I'll be saving a couple of grand per year on fuel in my commute, and then will also have a bike again for joy riding.

Then you probably have some self esteem issues, I'm guessing. I'm not a psychologist, nor a therapist, or a psychiatrist, or anything of the like. I would advise you to seek one to talk to, seriously. That being said, keep in mind that you are worth just as much as any girl, user. Don't ever get into the mode of thinking that someone is doing you a favor by spending time with you or anything, they are getting out just as much, otherwise they wouldn't be there.

I think it’s fine. Not a turn off to me, I like anime. Only if I get my own or I get to be the pillow.

If she's paying your bills, yeah, she gets a say. If not, then no, she doesn't.

Thank you for the response. This kinda confirms what I was thinking. Shoe on the other foot, I would hate it if someone started low key dating my girlfriend even if we were breaking up, so I don't feel right about doing that.

Fucking check'd

>Just read more evolutionary psychology
no

Fine then. Stay in the dark.

I've been on dating sites for a while and I don't seem to be getting anywhere.
I've been on meet me for almost 2 years now. Made a handful of nice friends and even met someone in public once. That was a mistake. The biggest problem I'm having with this site is how childish it is.
1. Everyone smokes weed
2. Everyone has a kid
3. Everyone complains that no one wants them
4. No one answers messages
5. Men are constantly pigs on that site asking woman for pussy pics
I'm not an introvert. I'm happy to talk to anyone. However, when I read over people's profiles, it's like I'm talking to people who are still in highschool... These people are mid 20s like me or older and they all complain like children.

From both sexs here, can you explain this shit to me?

There's a reason they're on the internet looking for people, and not out in public.

That's really confusing user.

>3DPD

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Fuck...

>Friends with girl for 4 years
>We've been really close
>May as well be dating with the things we do
>Sleep together (No sex just sleep)
>Wake up together
>Hold hands while we walk
>Cuddle on the couch and watch movies
>Get each other gifts all the time
>Decide one day to completely confess my feelings
>Take her out to a nice place to eat for a change
>Walking back to my apartment after dinner
>Going through the park at dusk
>Everything feels completely perfect
>Turn to face her while holding both her hands
>She's smiling at me as I talk
>Confess that I've loved her for a very long time
>And that she's my entire world
>She's still smiling and even giggling at this point
>Suddenly she backs away from me
>She lets go of my hands
>The next words she speaks will forever haunt my mind
>"user, I could never love you like that, you know that right?"
>Stunned as fuck trying to process the moment
>Eventually ask her why
>"Because you're...you, and I love you more like a brother"
>We walk back to my place in complete silence
>"Thanks for the fun night, user, cya later!"
>She's acting like nothing happened which makes it hurt more
>Lay flat on my living room floor in the dark
>Get up and type this

Tonight was the shittiest night of my life, I have a million questions and no answers

Was she using me?

Was everything we had a lie?

Why would she get this close to me if she didn't have feelings for me?

What friends sleep in the same bed holding each other without any feelings?

Where do I go from here?

Do I just forget all this and act like nothing happened?

Do I push her out of my life?

Do I keep trying?

I don't want to lose her but I don't want to waste my time and be led on.

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I don't like dating sites/apps either, but I did use Tinder for a month and had some success (1 new girl every week). My friends already were using these things for years now, but they still came to me for advice. Now, I don't know if you're a girl or a guy, so it's hard to give advice. I'll tell you how I learned to use the app and went from zero to a new date every week with minimum effort, though:
Googled for tutorials, websites and ebooks;
Read it all and compared;
Went out with a friend to get some good photos;
Applied what I learned and adjusted accordingly.

That being said, I really dislike the way the whole thing works, so after a month I was back going to parties and bars. It just feels weird and artificial to me. Not to shit on people who like it, actually, good for you guys and gals out there having fun and all. It's just not for me.

user, my situation is somewhat similar, but due to circumstances too long and complicated to get into, my friend and I used to share a room and sleep in the same bed. I was in love so I thought, why and how could he do this if he doesn't have any feels?
Fast forward to he told me he was trying to date this ho, so I felt this is really over and I have no chance. I met another guy, went over to his house with the intent to screw. All we ended up doing was cuddling.
Even though I barely knew him and barely liked him, the cuddling felt good because I was lonely and there was a warm body next to me that wanted to cuddle me. I was like...oh... maybe this is what my friend was doing to me.

Whether intentionally or unintentionally, your friend was cuddling you because it felt nice, but that doesn't mean she loves you back. Try to move on to someone who can feel the same way. Take it from me, a loser who has wasted four or five years hoping her best friend will fall back in love with her. Now I'm old and may never find love.

>repeatedly said no my first time
that's rape. you should talk to someone about this. trust me.

She cares about you, but doesn't want to fuck you.

Its that simple. But she won't say it because all women, for whatever reason, think "I don't want to fuck you" will destroy you. Like your head will explode.

The kinds of people that dating sites generally attract are going to be on the lower end of the dating totem pole. They either have mental health issues that prevent them from maturing or their lives are just a disaster, and no one that meets them in person is willing to date them unless they're equally fucked up.

>1. Everyone smokes weed
Not intrinsically an issue, but I assume you mean stoners that won't shut the fuck up about it.

>2. Everyone has a kid
They have a kid, and their single. They don't have the time to go out and try to meet people, so they look online until the can find someone they're willing to invest time into that they could be spending on their child.

>3. Everyone complains that no one wants them
Mental Health issues preventing them from meeting people in regular social scenarios.

>4. No one answers messages
They're not interested. Possibly just like the ego boost of matching with people. Or are just inactive.

>5. Men are constantly pigs on that site asking woman for pussy pics
It's a lot easier to be a creep online than in person. These people aren't looking for relationships. They just want to get their rocks off to some fresh nudes.

So very sorry for you, user. I've been there, I know how it hurts. But trust me, you'll come out of this better. Now, for your questions...

>Was she using me?
Yes. Not maliciously, though. Search on youtube for Patrice O'Neal time ho, he'll give you a rundown.

>Was everything we had a lie?
Your interpretation of it was. What you were to her was the female version of a booty call. While men have women as possible romantic partners, women have an additional need from men, which is security. You need a gf, she needs a bf and an emotional rock, so to speak. They don't have to be the same person. You were there for the second part only, unfortunately, user.

>Why would she get this close to me if she didn't have feelings for me?
She did, just not romantic ones. When she says you are like a brother, it means you give her comfort and security, but not lust.

>What friends sleep in the same bed holding each other without any feelings?
Brother and sister. Or women friends. Her mind doesn't register you as a male, user.

>Where do I go from here?
Cut all contact. If necessary, tell her it hurts you too much to be around her. But for the love of everything that is sacred, cut all contact with her.

>Do I just forget all this and act like nothing happened?
No. Her presence will only hurt you more and hold you back from moving on and growing up. You need to get away from her.

>Do I push her out of my life?
Yes.

>Do I keep trying?
Fuck no.

>I don't want to lose her but I don't want to waste my time and be led on.
Then read and follow my advice.

>But she won't say it because all women, for whatever reason, think "I don't want to fuck you" will destroy you. Like your head will explode.
because men are entitled and get hostile if you reject them

>Googled for tutorials, websites and ebooks;

got any of these

...

>Now I'm old and may never find love.
how old?

Women: Would it bother you if a guy couldn't cum from fucking you (>1hour), but cums from a handjob (

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yes

That's a shitty assumption. I can speak for me and all my friends, if a girl rejects any of us we might get sad, we might get bummed, we might say "welp, it happens", but not one of us gets hostile or feels like a girl "should be interested in us".

The less you allow yourself to be an emotional crutch in a hard time of her life, the less likely you are to be lumped in as an orbiter too. If it were me I'd find a way to imply, without saying anything directly, that I'm not comfortable with that kind of behaviour while she's seeing someone else and that would have to change if she wanted anything out of me.

Ignore that last one
Yeah, I'm only on there because all the people I know irl are taken and I don't know what else to do at this point.

>stoners
yes
>kid
Yeah exactly
>inactive
Yeah I see that a lot
>fresh nudes
This is why I enjoy rule34 more at this point

I had this problem with my ex, we were fucking but then I was embarrased to ask but she was 100% ok to finger my ass. I came in like 2 minutes and she said she enjoyed it too.

no, it's not a shitty assumption. ask any woman how many times this has happened to her. it's really fucking common and this is why women don't come out and directly reject men. literally as a safety precaution.

Definitely. Like the idea of a guy pounding me for an hour straight certainly sounds hot but like I’d def feel self-conscious if I could make him cum that fast with my hands. No offence though!

>because men are entitled and get hostile if you reject them

Everyone is entitled.

I don't know how hostile young men really are, but its becoming more apparent to me that young women are terrified of everything around the bad parts of dating. So much so, they read yaoi where the men are effeminate, and they can read about romance without thinking about all the scary parts that impact women.

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>Everyone is entitled.
i've never felt entitled to another person's body, time, attention, or affection, so speak for yourself.

If you can't cum a woman will automatically assume it's her problem and not yours, and assuming it's her problem would normally imply that you either don't find her attractive or that she's loose.

From what I can recall, Tinderseduction and The Tinder Sheet on Seddit are good. The rest I can't really remember. But, assuming you're a guy, here's what I remember from the top of my head:
- Get 4 really good pictures. No more than that. Girls act by elimination: if your first four pictures are good, but your fifth one is trahs, you're out. So it's a less is more philosophy. Of those pictures, your profile one has to be a classier, looking away, from the waist up. Don't choose a picture where you look too edgy and dangerous, that'll will scare them away. Save that for one of your other pictures. The second, third and fourth, I don't remember perfectly, but I believe you have one "in action photo" (doing something adventurous, or playing an instrument, dancing, or whatever interesting activity you partake), one social photo (party, social gathering or whatever, if possible with women around, but don't be the guy that puts an obvious bait hugging a bunch of girls), and the last one I think is a bull body picture. You can add a fifth one or replace one of the others if you have a dog or cat and can take a good picture with them. Not shitting on you, some girls will swipe right just because of that (seen that happen IRL when I was with some female friends in college).
- For your profile text, keep it simple, keep it fun, and don't be pretentious. If you're tall, write that shit down, it will help out tons.
- When swiping, only swipe girls you're actually attracted. Don't waste your time on profiles, just see you you find her attractive, you can filtrate later. The algorithm, at least back in 2016, worked in such a way that if you swipe on less attractive girls, it starts showing more of that, and you start showing more to them too.
- When talking to a girl, don't waste your time and pitch a date on the second or third back and forth. If she's attracted to you, she'll go for it. If she doesn't, she was just using you for validation. Trust me on this one.

>tfw don’t like yaoi
>love effimate guys
>tfw so little straight trap porn
ree

Does that mean I'm damaged goods?

Ask any men how many times a girl was incredibly rude to him when he just said hi, even when he didn't even mean to hit on her. If we start to base our behaviour on that, the world will be a much shittier place.

no, it doesn't mean that. the feelings you describe about sex are normal for someone with a sexual trauma. there's nothing wrong with you, but talking to a professional can help you deal with those emotions.

Thanks for responses.

Why though?

Not keen on anal stuff but glad it worked out for you.

Fair enough. I haven't figured out the cause yet, since it was my first time.

That's what I'm worried about. I do find her quite attractive. I'm probably a little under average and she's had at least two other long-term partners. I'm thinking it's probably a mixture of being nervous and the condom limiting sensitivity. I plan on trying thinner condoms next time: it might make a difference.

Nerves and condoms are probably the exact cause. Next time try (seriously) a little bit of alcohol, say two or three drinks to help out with inhibitions but not enough to impair your ability to get it up. Stop fapping altogether, stop watching porn. Real vagina is nowhere near as tight as the grip on a hand.

Yeah I haven't fapped since we had sex, but I haven't quite stopped watching porn yet. Mostly going through and deleting the worst stuff, though. When I masturbate I can finish in a minute or edge for hours, but it's pretty different when someone else is doing it.

Yeah the porn is probably more harmful than the fapping because it connects your arousal to the visual aspect more than anything, and when you're actually having sex the visual side of things can be pretty lack-lustre unless you know how to leave your body and watch from a distance.

Ladies, if a guy outright asked you if you’d blow him for cash.. how tempted would you be? Whether it’s through tinder, IRL, or anything for that matter

Never ever. Maybe if he was my bf and this was a roleplaying scenario, though.

OK girls
If a guy wants to eat your ass out, will you commonly let him?

But wouln't most women want to steer clear of someone who could be considered a female on male rape victim?

Fair enough. When we were having sex there was some random tv show or something on in the background. She also randomly* asked me whether I watch porn and said she hadn't seen much besides a few things people had shown her. Do you think watching porn together is a good idea, and what kind of stuff would women like? Like 90% of what I watch is POV blowjobs so just seeing her face during sex is a turn-on which is convenient.

I dunno about her tastes, so I won’t bother recommending my favorites and just say that you should check the Popular with Women tag on like pornhub or somewhere if you really want to watch porn together. I like some kinky stuff like petplay/catgirl dressup and think it’d be neat to do with a bf.

>GF and I will have been dating for about 8 and a half months
>Going to Disney World with her and her parents
>Wanna bring a ring along and propose during fireworks
>Somewhat discussed this before months ago when I promised her I'd marry her one day

I really wanna try but at the same time I have super nerves. I love this girl. With all my heart, but sometimes she can act out. I also think it would be the last thing I would want to do, is ruin our vacation.

Go for the clit instead.

>proposing after 8 months
Why not just give her half of your things right now and skip the legal fees? This won't end well.

Ladies, you're in a post-apocalyptic world, and you're on your period. You can't find any tampons or pads; what do you use in place using only basic materials?

That sounds adorable! Def go for it!

My parents married after dating for three months and they’re still together, 20 years later.

>anecdotal "evidence"
1 out of 6 people who play Russian roulette with 5 chambers loaded will survive. I could probably point to a guy who won a game like that, but that doesn't make it a good idea to play.
My own parents dated less than a year and are still married, but again, it's not the wisest course of action. If you two are happy together right now, you have little to lose by dating more and really getting to know each other, while you have much to gain.

Well, that just means it’s possible then. Your parents and mine both dated for less than a year then married. So user has a chance then, doesn’t he?

can a girl or guy help me with this?

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Normally the rational man and me would agree with you. I am inclined to disagree simply because I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to go to Disney World ever again in my life. And if by some miracle I was able to afford it again it would not be within the decade.

It is her absolute favorite place on the planet.

Sounds like a lot of excuses.

>she wants to take it slow with you

fucking lmao
shes a liar and big one

I often disagree with this dude but he's 100% right on this one. Marriage is a significant commitment and should not be taken lightly. 8 months for proposing marriage is an absurd time period and I can't help but assume someone is a retarded teenager if they think otherwise.