I'm going to be sent to prison for a long time and I have no idea what to expect

>what to expect
A lot of butt sex

>has anyone here done hard time?
You bet nigga
>what state or country are you in?
Cali
>I need advice because I am scared shitless
1) Stop being such a punk ass bitch nigga
2) Wearing lipstick makes you popular

>attempted murder but it's a misunderstanding
Doesn't sound like it is.

You went through a trial yet still think it's a misunderstanding?

Enjoy getting your butthole BTFO.

I was in prison 2006-2012 for drug crimes.

First thing you need to do is beat someone up to establish your dominance.

Second thing you need to do is setup a side hustle. Coffee, drawing tiddays, sucking dick, doing hair, whatever. The prison has it's own economy. Learn to play it like a jew.

If you're white join up with the other whites. If you're black do the same etc.

You will have fun. It's kinda like Jow Forums just no fun.

Are you a nigger?

no, my charge was bullshit and I don't belong in prison with these animals

white masterrace

Stick to Twitter, Mr. President

The prison-industrial complex is run by ((them))). Before, we'd put a white man on a chain gang for a couple of years. hard work but you'd still have your smokes, be able to go see a movie and enjoy a concert once in awhile. And you'd have paid your debt.

Now (((they))) put you in a cage with savages and treat you like an animal. We have to pay for it too. Then use the fact that they sent you there to deny you your rights when you return. best scam the tribe ever came up within the modern era.

Yeah like I said... enjoy getting your butthole BTFO. You sound like a faggot. Maybe this will help you out.

Than sadly (((they))) don't need a reason to imprison you.

for shitposting

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I did 8 years for murder. Dumb fucks let me out on good behavior. I'm going to get every last piece of shit that had a part in locking me up.

My only advice is to find a female guard to fuck. Real pussy, plus she'll vouch for you to get out early

(((They))) fucking love our modern prison system. Imprison white men with savages and treat them like animals. All while other whites finance via tax dollars that (((they))) collect.

i'm tough as fuck but the charges were horseshit. I don't deserve to be surrounded by these lowlifes. I am an honest, tax paying citizen

>yes 3 years, AA charge from a bar fight
>texas

Things to expect.
>the dumbest fucks you ever met in your life.
>don't assume because they are dumb they aren't dangerous.
>things really are broken up by race
>don't play cards or Domino's, you'll be betting quick. And debt gets you fucked up.
>don't just start fights
>don't snitch, even if someone shanks you.
>avoid trying to be the funny guy as a coping mechanism, it will get you fucked up
>keep to yourself or your group
>if you're not in a gang, don't join one. You can affiliate, but joining is guaranteed to get you more time

It's a datamining post, it or a variation of it has been posted for years.

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>I am an honest, tax paying citizen

That's why you're going to prison. The lesson here is being a good goy won't get you rewarded.

>lets talk about how shitty prison is so we can scare these alt right little morons LMAO IM JEWISH
you glow in the dark

Also learn a "inside" skill.
Tattooing, legal aid help, ged prep, even writing and reading for illiterate fucks.

Things that can help you stay neutral but earn side hustle.

Yeah they are lowlifes.

Take it as an opportunity to grow. Read books, workout and distance yourself from the losers in there.

I paid my taxes too, but all I wanted to do was smoke a little weed. Little did I know moving it over state lines would fuck me over.

Don't be such a faggot my friend. Stop acting like a victim.

Begin relaxing your angus in preparation for multibenis violation. Anoint that ringpiece in the finest of oils so it won't tear easily. If you pull it off, you could become a successful jailhouse buttsmuggler. Nothing more valuable than a roomy caboose in the big house!

You're going to have a lot of time to read. Use this time to better yourself. Make a few friends, but be selective.

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I am a victim. I got railroaded by the justice system. in my case, the public and therefore the jury were not interested in facts, they were only interested in emotion, blame, anger and fear, not facts. apparently, in a battle between science and spectacle, spectacle wins

Not this fucking larp again. You've been doing this so long your original sentence should have been served by now faggot

Drunk driver? Saged bait threads

So ya liked getting ass fucked and sucking dick eh? LOL! I got my tax dollars worth out of the deal then!

Where did I say that faggot?

I didn't suck a single dick or have my ass fucked. Because I fought the gay as fags trying to.

Try harder faggot.

>is time to choooose, lil nigga!

>spectacle wins

Nigga don't you know about the Salem Witch Trials? For god's sake you're just going to the pen, they fucking died.

If you really think it's going to be that bad, it will be. That's not some self-help bullshit, it's the truth: it will be what you make of it. Sounds like you'd be better off sawing off your foot and going inna woods and making them take you out in a blaze of glory.

You're also an elitist fuck. "Lowlifes" indeed.

These seem prudent measures. I'd add to find God, better yourself, read, get fit as fuck, formulate a legitimate plan for when you get out. Don't ever fucking go back once you leave.

Come get me cunt. I fucked your X and laughed about it while thinking about you in the box. That bitch swallowed gallons of my cum...me and my bros even talked her into fucking all of us one night. 6 of us did her all night. Fuck you pussy boy...cum get some. LOL!

Sure you are fag boy. Bend over and grab your ankles bitch.

Attempted murder, what a joke. They don't give a Nobel prize for attempted chemistry.

Liar...I can smell cum on your faggot’s breath from here. Your mouth was everyone’s cock holster when a dick was in your ass squirting.

You’ll be fine bro, just like this guy
youtu.be/-Pb9dNl4SHk

Finding God is great advise because there is no God and thus your search will be time consuming and endless which means time will pass rather quickly. Just enjoy the passionate orgasms that are gonna get blasted into your stinkhole.

>Is time to choooooose, lil nigga!

Just watch what this guy did. There are a lot of people who post here that are currently in prison. You’ll be fine

Have you ever had sex with a man?

No?

You're about to!

Cum’n is cum’n in the dark user. No one needs to know you did it with a dude. Everyone in prison does it...anyone that says otherwise is a liar and did it more.

I got banged up in Ibiza for punching a cop during a bar brawl.

Put me in a cell with a load of Sengalese immigrants.

Have AIDS now.

>is time to chooooooooooooooose, lil nigga!
Sam Hyde, everybody

Good

How long?

>"Your Honor I slipped and my knife accidentally fell inside this man's ribcage"

Did you fuck kids?

I got them back. Only one of them had AIDS but now they all do thanks to me

OP is larping as James Fields

OP fucked kids and should probably blow a 9mm hole in his head

Story time?

I did a few years in a tough prison.
It wasn't that bad.
Whites stick with whites and niggers with niggers.
You will get the dog shit beat out of you if you eat with a nigger.
Mexicans have the same rule.
However, there is no rule about eating with Mexicans.
I had a lot of fun while I was there.
I mean it's a huge waste of your life, but not that bad .
There were a few tense moments and you willl definitely be tested.
Don't be a pussy or go around looking for any trouble and you'll be fine.
G'luck.

watch the movie felon, listen to the wisdom
carefully, watch everything they do with
care as if your body depends on it.

read prison stories about what to expect
inside prison, it should remove the fear
aspect. what you don't know going in
is what will get you.

find some free stuff on your bunk?
you're being bought as a wife.
spend your time watching prison
documentary. learn all the prison
slang, watch the after prison show
on youtube. youve got so many
resources to use to remove
fear so prison won't be anything
but another day in school.

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Just leave you maniac. Why are you choosing to go to jail? Get a greyhound to literally any place and start anew. Faggot

When you first go in, you're going to be tested. Somebody's going to fight you.Whatever you do, don't pussy out of it. Fight as hard as you can even if you know you'll lose. Show heart. Getting beaten up doesn't hurt that much. Also, take a monopole compass in with you. Disguise it as a watch or something. Might help your escape later.

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ah don't worry bro, prison is not that bad, I never served but got close - it's all about your attitude and your mentality, remember your goal as an inmate is to become king by any means, and that includes being kind and peaceful as much as it includes busting a fool's head open for trying to steal the pudding cup off your food tray, wherein such an example implies he is trying to test you or otherwise goad a fight out of you

don't waste your time working to violate the NAP, but spend as much time as you can from here to there getting in fighting shape

> dragondoor.com/pdf/Convict_Conditioning_SUPER_FAQ.pdf

just remember to use your intelligence and your cunning to gun for the throne, certainly do all that you can to become the king of the inmates and then be peaceful

frankly prison is not randomly deadly, you don't randomly get raped, you get raped if you are a rapist, or you are raping others, or you are a pedophile or similar such perpetrator against humanity. just crack jokes, be friendly, stick to your colors, and have no fear if you are pushed into a confrontation

READ THIS

SHILLS I HAVE SOMETHING FOR YOU, YES FOR YOU, THIS POST IS NOT FOR OTHER USERS:

THE ONES THAT PAY YOU, AREN'T TELLING YOU (YES, YOU, THE SHILL, NOT TALKING ABOUT ANYONE ELSE AT THIS THREAD) EVERYTHING

TEST IF THEY ARE LYING TO YOU WITH A SIMPLE STEP

pastebin.com/cFa6x8M8
OR
100777.com/nwo/barbarians

1-If you are a shill, open this link, there is the pastebin choice if you are afraid of someone logging you.
1.1-If they dont allow you there is something shady going on and you should be afraid of it.
1.2-The text is called new order of barbarians, if they tell you the site have virus, ip logging or something like that, search at your prefered web search site and read it at another site, there are more than one with the text. There is also the pastebin, I posted before.
2-Read the entire text.
3-The text is not so huge, this was not made to make sure you read something and stop working while doing it, you can do both at the same time.
3.1-If they dont allow you yo read the text saying you can't read external links at work time, read at home, remember the text is called new order of barbarians, again, new order of barbarians.

If they aren't telling you everything they wont allow you to read the text.
If somehow not even them, know everything, and allow you to read it, then read it anyway, the way you act will be influenced by the text and they will force you to quit or whateaver and you will see they werent telling you everything.

James Fields?

God damn your fucking retarded.

I did 6 weeks in prison for a fight outside a pub.It was pretty chill desu.I was expecting to get bummed in the showers but nothing happened.Spent most of it playing pool and watching tv.