>Dad is blind to emotions of others >Can't tell how people are feeling and can't assess people accurately >Says everyone is happy in home because he is happy, but he can't tell when I'm miserable >He can't even tell what runs through the mind of other people even though he says he can
I feel like my father's brain is more configured toward objects than toward people, and that has made him a horrible father because he shouldn't be raising children in the first place, especially ones that aren't his race.
I feel like Randy Stair's dad is my dad. Even if I bought a shotgun, he wouldn't do anything and would assume that everything is fine.
>Autistic >Can get along well with people of any race of creed >Excellent with his hands and was even in the special forces >Unironically Christian at age 60
I don't think so. I think it's a by product of his schizophrenic tendencies. He's terribly paranoid of the government and all that shit. Him having those issues doesn't matter until he's drunk on alcohol though.
David Green
>That has made him a horrible father He provided for you and was around, even though hes bad with people. That makes him better than half the guys out there.
I guarantee he knows hes aware of his lack of social ability and is making up for it by being analytical towards people. That's why he thinks he can figure out whats going, and it also means hes trying. Tough luck - most guys aren't as tuned towards emotional needs of others as women are. If you are a guy that is somewhat like him, then at least try to learn from him (or his failures rather). Thats what I did.
How old are you? I'm guessing you are a teenager. It's completely normal to feel this way towards parents. Once you leave the nest, you will begin to figure out all the things that are wrong with you and think about how your parents could've done better to raise you. This might leave you spiteful of him, if it already hasn't. But the more you mature, the less you see your parents as parents and more as people. Hopefully when that happens, you will understand that your dad was just as clueless as you now when it comes to raising children, and he tried what he thought was right. The spite will subside eventually and you might even begin to respect him for raising children and maintaining a family (a happy one or otherwise) despite his weaknesses.
Ayden Green
so which is it, are the mutt race child he married into and you mom slept with aomeone else, or did you mother mary some coon/cracker who doesnt look like you.
I'm 21 years old, but I'm mixed-raced, so I have no one I care about deeply except for my sister, and I never get to see her.
I agree that my father is a good man for standing by, but he would've run if my 3rd world mother weren't permissive and submissive toward him.
I think you're right. That's just the way life works, but me and my father aren't on a similar wavelength when it comes to anything. This is because of race-mixing.
I've already chalked up most of my father's failure as a parent to an absence of love due to race-mixing. I don't look like him, so he didn't care that I was alive. He abandoned his children that looked like him because of his prior wives. He doesn't run because life is easier for him in the house he has built where he doesn't have to do house-work and can be financially unstable. I don't hate my father, but I don't intend to follow in his footsteps and bring life into this world.
I know I'm not prepared for the real world. I don't even want to do house-work, and this is a major folly on behalf of my parents.
A lot of my issues stems from being mixed-raced. Most people I know that had their dad/mother in a mono-racial household are more prepared for life, reality than I'll ever be. I still try and love my parents, but they irritate me more than anything. The other day I found myself calling them by their first legal name in my drive-way, and I haven't even moved out yet, and I have no intention of doing so because my life will only get worse if I do.
John Long
Don't appeal to his emotions but appeal to his reason. Most men cannot differentiate between female hysteria and female emotional problems (myself included). Simply going "ABLOOBLOO I"M SAD" will not work with him. But sitting down calmly and rationally explaining how you feel (and if possible, why), will get you progress.
> and that has made him a horrible father because he shouldn't be raising children in the first place,
It's disgusting that you're disparaging your father like this. Really disgusting actually, if you were my daughter I'd honestly stop providing for you altogether and throw you out. He sounds like he's done his best in life with who he is and what he is, and here's his daughter questioning his right to reproduce just because he can't be her personal therapist.
You're a real piece of shit and don't deserve him.
Grayson Myers
I'm the offspring of his schizophrenic christian delusions.
He thought god spoke to him and told him to marry a wife that would say yes to 3 questions.
I think my mother realized that my father was for real, so she jumped at the chance to go to the USA. This might be why I have the genetics for higher intelligence.
My mother isn't stupid for her race even though she's a mulatto. She sifted right through the great filter of the 1st world.
Elijah Watson
He fed me and clothed me, but he didn't teach me how to survive in this world as a man. Life is even worse for one of mixed-blood than you can possibly imagine.
My life is fucked-up because of this. He even told me that he saw me committing suicide in the future if he were to die.
He knows what hes done, and I have a right to be upset about it. He never taught me how to tie my shoes. All of his reason and thought resulted in nothing because he didn't care that I was alive.
Hudson Sanders
>all this whining about race mixing
Protip: it's not you being mixed race that's the problem. It's you being a huge faggot. I know a lot of mixed race people and I am mixed myself (about as mixed as you can get desu) and we all get along just fine in the world. In fact I find it doesn't really matter much at all, like anything it's more about how you react to it.
What I'm getting from your shitty posts is that you've pinned all your issues on your parents to avoid responsibility for being an ungrateful shithead. Your dad probably does suck at bring social and perhaps that led to his marrying of (what I assume to be) a submissive Asian woman (why is it always eurasians that are so caught up about this shit?). Maybe he actually loves your mom. How would you know if you don't take the time to get to know him deeply and instead blame him for all your shortcomings?
Jackson Barnes
Ah okay, I get ya now.
I too am in a similar situation because my mother not only didn't raise me, but for pity points made out I was worthless and retarded (unable to look after myself, unable to ever ride a bike, unable to ever have a job, etc) to everyone. She was so obsessed with attention that she made me suicidal, it's fucking shit and I often have fantasies of murdering her because of it. I'm just lucky that my father is the one that is understanding.
I'd honestly just pack up and leave. Go live in a cheap boarding house and hold an easy, low stress job until you are used to looking after yourself. From there you should have options. If you stay with your family I think you'll continue having these feelings of inadequacy
Nolan Martin
i dont understand, are they both your biological parents? if so, how is he raising another race?
Sebastian Mitchell
What mix are you?
I know, with totality, that my father is indifferent to my mother. He didn't want to pay for her cancer treatment. He didn't want to pay for her preventive cancer treatment back when she had Uterine Fibroids. She got breast cancer because he didn't care if she lived or died.
You can see reality clearer through actions than through words. My father wanted to molest my sister because 27% of her DNA wasn't his, and that increased the probability of sexual attraction.
I know what I'm saying is the truth. I know it's a broad brush to paint my familial life with, but it's reality.
My mother used my life as fucking sticky-glue to keep her first world life intact. My father raised me to have a stable life and spit in the eye of his own father. Now that I'm working, I've got no reason to keep living because of racial isolation. Why should I be grateful? I'd be better off in Brazil.
Cooper Bennett
This is how. He's 100% Northern European.
I am not. There's a 30% DNA gap from both of my parents.
The father of Chris Harper-Mercer, Ian Mercer, has a 40% DNA gap from him to his son, and this is how he feels about the death of his son
I've noticed that the only people to have congruity with me that are white are people that had lives like yours.
A lot of my white friends came from single-mother/divorced households.
I'm sad that life is the way it is, but I'm glad we can understand one another.
Austin Rogers
You are Asian and white, right? That's what I am too. It's real fucked up that he said he wanted to molest your sister. I heard some sexual attraction from father to daughter is normal, but damn. It's also ridiculous that he allowed his wife to get cancer.
My father is a physicist. Hes slightly autist and doesn't understand people. Hes ridiculously shy. Wife is submissive and is a housewife. Hes done some fucked up stuff in the past to his younger brother supposedly. He thinks out family is all fine and dandy, but it's really not. I was real depressed and was a recluse in my teenage years. He believed in hands off parenting, so he never taught me much. Thats where our similarities end.
Your problems are not because you are mixed race. I'm real proud of my Asian side, I'm decent with women and people in general, and I'm a top 1% earner for my age. I'm not the best looking but I'm above average for sure. I've overcome my mental issues and have long stopped worrying about lack of identity that hapas often have.
Your father is a shit person for leaving your mom to get cancer and talking about molestation. As far as "not teaching you how to be a man", suck it up and go learn for yourself. Dive into the deep end of the pool. Why blame your state of being on being mixed race? Blame it on your father if anything, or blame it on yourself and use that as impetus to improve as a person.
Oliver Cox
I think the difference between me and you is that I've got like a 100-110 IQ, and you've probably got a 135+ IQ as you're the Eurasian son of a physicist.
The problems that come from race are nothing to you as you've quickly mastered social skills from what little experience you've had, and you also probably don't have my anxiety genetics.
It's observable to me that people that are mono-racial have an easier time connecting with others, but you've never had to think about that before, so you don't think it the source of your issues because it was never a problem for you.
"top 1% earner" probably means you're not like most people. I've got a feeling that Elliot Rodger's IQ was about 105, and this is what caused the show.
Kayden Cruz
I do think you're handing me solid advice though. It's evidence that skills, experience matter more than race, and it's a window I really need to look through.
Carson Thomas
Also, I'm not Eurasian. I'm I can see where we would live similar lives despite this.
Levi Thomas
But I absolutely do have the anxiety genetics. To elaborate, I used to hide in the corner of my middle school so I can eat where nobody could see me. Even in college I couldn't go to the dining hall if somebody I knew was working the counter for entry, so I would go hungry instead. I was a pathetic person in general. I did well in college but I flunked my way through middle school and half of high school. Me being decent with people has mostly to do finding things to like about anybody, and I'm too apathetic of a person to get angry (interpreted as being chill).
You have to chase the experience down yourself if you didn't have somebody help you gain int. In my case, social anxiety was my biggest issue so when I went on a self improvement phase, I sought out things that would push me out there. I did door to door sales for a few months. I literally shat underneath a bridge due to nervousness. But I kept at it, and though I didn't get any sales at first, it was a win for a shut in like me that I was out there at all. After several years of brute force treatment, anxiety isn't that bad anymore.
It's good that you are analyzing your childhood and identifying issues. That was step one for me. I also pinned some blame on being mixed race, but now it seems silly from where I stand.
Gabriel Lee
Also, I did have lots of self hate about being Asian growing up. I wanted to be white like the cool kids around me. I couldn't interact properly with white people before college. But that goes away with exposure to people and getting confidence. If anything, I admire Asians more now.
So to sum it up, I did have issues with being biracial. I do have anxiety genetics and I do worry a lot, so does my sister and so does my father, but I managed to mitigate social anxiety. I haven't mastered social skills, but I've improved via self help books (like Dale Carnegie books) and sheer exposure.
I started working on myself 5 years ago, and though I still have lots to work on, it's exciting to think about how much I was able to change over the years. It gives me hope for the future and helps me be confident. Remember, success is relative to yourself. Though I did sales and was mocked at first for shitty performance, it was a huge success on my part for even trying. Don't look at other people anymore. You just have to be a little better next year than yourself this year.
William Mitchell
I always read Carnegie books and think they can't possibly work on a human being, but I've yet to try them. I see people use them in real life, and I can't help but see right through what they're doing.
I think you're telling me some of the best advice I've ever received on this website because you can actually relate to me and understand how my life is even if yours was a bit worse.
Thank you, and I'll be sure to take your words and use them in my life.
Robert Martinez
Yes, people who follow Carnegie's rules come off like a car salesman, but it made me think a lot about essentials in dealing with people.
It comes off as unnatural if you are trying to imitate the person in the book. It can become natural if you just take to heart what is important. I'd forgotten that remembering names and being interested in people's lives was something people care about. I used to not do those things deliberately because it would hurt if I seem like I cared but I wasn't liked back.
I'm glad I can help. I browse Jow Forums because giving advice helps me give structure to my own progress in life. Know that working on yourself is difficult and it hurts a lot to face your own shortcomings. But next year when you are feeling down, just think about what you can do then that you weren't able to do today.
