Ex-faggot

WHAT’S THE POINT OF EVEN GROWING UP NOW? I SUCKED 4 DICKS REMEMBER? Should I even grow up or even put myself to change to become a good person? Is there any point to being a good person if I’m permanently never gonna belong to the good moraled unpromiscuous crowd? Be honest here now, am I hopeless?

But I was bisexual, how do I even fix that? I’m not a progressive I’m not a leftist. Please. I think I should just kill myself.

How do I even be a good person if I tell people I used to mess around with men? That’s a permanent “you belong in hell”. I will never get a good stable woman, I will never get good friends, and I will be a good person for NO ONE but myself.

Calm down man. Don't lie about your past, interact with women you like and see if they like you back. If they mind your dick-sucking history just keep looking for other women. You will never be a pristine hetero guy obviously. But you can be less of a sperg.

I think rejection will be a routine for me. Rejection and disgusts. From conservatives and from liberals who know my ideological leaning. Liking a woman means I will hush them away and they will probably tell gossips badly (he’s a homo).

Why should I even try to become a good person anyway? Other than for career, if I can’t win good woman, why should I even try to be a better person?

>his only motivation is pussy
Seriously? Are all men this simple?

If for you the only motivation to be a good person is external, you are a bad person
and fyi rejection is a routine for almost all 4channers with or without homo past
Get over yourself mate

Are you asexual? Are you so obsessed with your hobby at 35 years old?

No, I'm not asexual, but my relationship isn't the only thing that motivates me to be a good person and when I was single, my motivation for improving myself wasn't to find a partner, either.

I mean you could just not bring it up. I mean who cares. Move if you feel you have to.

Of course it’s external. People don’t steal because of the risks and consequences. I become a good person because I want to deserve good things as well. Why should I be a good person if I will never deserve good things in life? Sucking 4 dicks, forever doomed to not deserve a good woman who is not promiscuous and not a progressive.

Yeah but you’re not a homo, therefore you can always get a good moraled partner as long as you become good moraled. But once you experimented with same sex person, you taint it all and it’s a dead end. It’s even worse than being small dicked, and I’m also small dicked. Small dicked men are already VERY limited in terms of women, me too. Even worse, not only low self esteemed women, but also those who are promiscuous.

Nigga, why would a not promiscuous and not a progressive want to date you? She can date a good dude with the same exact values as you have but who didn't suck 4 dicks. Realistically with your sexual past you can only expect to get a girl with a similar past and hope to lord she doesn't have any STIs.

I formed a really nice bond with a girl I met on Tinder. I really liked her. She left me after knowing about my past. I was being a good person that day, by being honest. She wasn’t being a bad person for rejecting me. Life really sucks. This is all my dad’s fault for shaping me into a bisexual. I’m not anymore though, but it’s like a tattoo and it really sucks. I still think about her. She was perfect for me.

>This is all my dad’s fault for shaping me into a bisexual
How is it his fault? Did he diddle you or what?

Our relationship is bad. He’s not a good father figure. I grew up being scared of him. I still am.

>dad is scary so I decided to suck a bunch of dick
Every excuse works I guess

This stuff usually falls under Don't Ask, Don't Tell: Nobody will ever ask you whether you sucked dick so it is a non-issue and you shouldn't bring it up.

If for some reason it becomes a topic however, be open and don't deny it.

In a romantic relationship however, it’s something that the woman expects to know. Not telling it is equal to hiding it. It’s not the same thing as smoking weed. If the woman finds out about it after 2 years of relationship, she will feel lied to. Also I will always be on “careful mode” to not lie about it. Or I will always be not relaxed, expecting the moment to not come.

In a romantic relationship you are past the point where people think you are the devil for sucking dick and hopefully past the point where she will spread it after a break up. If you bring it up casually, she may even be stupid enough to think that sucking dick was just a phase (protip: nobody will believe you).

Of course she might still leave you for that, but it won't be because of prejudices about bisexuals, but for personal reasons, just like people break up after finding out their partner is divorced and has two children.

>Of course she might still leave you for that
Still not a solution

There is no solution cause you cant unsuck these dicks

But I’m not a dicksucker anymore, why does my past matter that much?

Would you date a girl who ate out other girls in the past?

Because your past is an important part of your personality.

Also if I want to estimate how a person will behave in the future (for example for founding a family) I need to know how a persons develops over a longer period so I look at your past to get some clues: For example you are clearly slightly instable, averse to taking responsibility if you fucked up and prone to lying. And you sucked dick, you think it may be a phase, but what gives her the guarantee that you won't get a second phase sucking dick a few years into the marriage? You are literally a walking risk because of your poor life choices.

Yes

Ok so can it be fixed? Can I fix myself to be a better person? Can I deserve good things and good women in life?

>Can I deserve good things and good women in life?
Why not? Some girls won't be ok with your past but that's normal. Focus on looking for ones that don't care or mind

Poor life choices are part of having a not so good personality, right? So can it be changed so that I can be as good as hetero men? Idk what to do. Love is risky even for me now. I am woke enough to not want to be in a relationship with a man or a progressive woman. But I’m trapped now and everything seems hopeless, the future is hopeless for me. This is the beginning of nihilism for me, I think. By not being able to see a positive future, I will have to just float around sucking up pleasure until I’m dead. One small mistake is forcing me to deserve this bad life, despite me wanting to fix it.

If your girlfriend sucked on another guys cock before having a relationship with you, would you leave her because of that?
No. Thinking about it is pretty disgusting, but still, no you wouldn't.

You mean progressive girls that will someday ask for a threesome with chad because I will enjoy it anyway?

Its more normal for girls to suck dicks than for dudes

I mean a girl how was slutty in the past but isnt anymore

>Can I deserve good things and good women in life?
Yes sure. I admit that my post sounds a bit harsh, now that I reread it.

Everybody has fucked up in his life at some point. You can be sure that everybody over 30 has a dark secret and/or a fucked up personal life. You only have to find somebody who is wiling the risk to trust you. People are getting remarried all the time, even what nowadays counts as conservative is rather liberal compared to earlier. Don't act like a degenerate (i.e., spout that you once sucked dick) and don't center you life around your mistake (as you appearently do now) and you will find somebody who will love you enough to accept this side of you.

But you have to accept that your mistake will scare off some girls, but that is ok, people accept worse defects in their partners if they fall in love before knowing them.

That’s very specific. I’m not familiar with nightlife, I’m very nerdy and introverted. Those girls are usually VERY nightlifey and extroverted. Most girls I am able to connect to are usually the nerdy type who are never promiscuous in the first place. Who are conservatives. What you’re saying is simply implying that finding a romantic partner will be VERY difficult for me. It’s a shame because I’m quite handsome and I dress really nice. I’m supposed to feel like I’m able to date a wide variety of women.

It’s not fair that some people just are naturally heterosexual. I didn’t ask for this. I should be able to choose who I’m attracted to.

I dont knwo what to tell you m8. nobody forced you to suck dicks

Ok so even if I never sucked dicks, I was attracted to men. Most people never experienced it. What kind of credit would I get if I pass the “test”? What if I told the world that I used to be attracted to men but never did anything about it? Is that a good thing? That’s not a good thing either because I WAS attracted to men in the first place. But then I will have to keep it a secret as well, right?

If I’m in a 5 year relationship with a girl, and then she finds out that I sucked dicks in the past, would she leave me? Like, the general consensus of the average girl.

I think the problem is that you acted like a fag

If you tell her yourself and you know how to get that across I guess she would be a bit shocked but ok. I would tell her a lot earlier and especially after she told you some defect of her as a kind of "it is not important, but I want my future wife to know all my past" message but that is extremely dependent on you two.

You would have kept it as a secret like every faggot before 1950. You were tempted and you would have resisted. That is a positive character trait and no Christian would call you evil.

Your problem is that you did not resist and sucked some dick like a fucking faggot and this is why people may see it as a risk.
We all want to kill sometimes, but we only judge the murderers.

For the first time I’m really nervous about the future. I do want to have a wife and a family. I don’t have the intention to live a nihilistic life. But I guess one mistake will force me to live nihilistically.

It's not really a one mistake though. I sounds like you have bad relationship with your father and couldn't come to terms with it without sucking cocks. It's akin to daddy issues girl who chooses to let some random guys run a train on her instead of working on her psychological issues stemming from bad childhood. It sounds like you have a lot of unresolved problems and as it is now, it doesnt sound like you are fit to be a parent or a husband...

I fucked up. Luckily for me, I didn’t have a good relationship with my mom, so I’m not really longing for romantic companionship. I think I can live the fully celibate life. Of course that would be sad as fuck, but I have no other choice. Good women shouldn’t want to spend the rest of their lives with me.

As said, you have way bigger problems than 4 sucked dicks.

>couldn't come to terms with it without sucking cocks
Idk what this means. But yes I do have daddy issues. I was never close with him, and I often fantasize about punching him.

Will I ever be fit to be a good parent or husband? What should I do?

>bad relationship with parents
>self-defeatist attitude combined with entitlement
>deals with mommy and daddy issues via gay sex, so poor coping skills
>he wants be a parent

Seriously, sort yourself out. Go see a mental health specialist or someone who can help you fix your life, because you sounds like a wreck, my dude.

I really AM such a mess. I’ve given up in trying to fix it. I’ve sucked 4 dicks, that’s more disgusting than any other bad things in me. I am 25 years old already. This past month I was so worked up about self improvement. I think everything seems pointless now.

Go to a fucking doctor. And if you are a shy faggot, go to the get it of your chest thread and write down your problems about your parents and your sucked dicks and that will be a first step towards professional help.

Someday I will go to one. But I’m not optimistic about future anymore though. I hope I don’t live long enough to be old.

Why are you even a conservative, my dude? It seems to me that you're just trying to atone for being a faggot desperately because you can't come to terms with it. Do you even have any serious convictions?

I just believe in it, logically. Not pursuing conservatism would be “avoiding the truth”, for me. No I don’t have serious convictions. I’ve never even been drunk, well I don’t have friends that’s why.

I think even mental health professionals will dislike me. I don’t deserve to be helped, I don’t deserve a second chance. Psychiatrists will say I deserve it, but if most good women say I don’t, it means I don’t.

>someday
Don't put it off too long, friend. It's clear that these issues bug you and make you unhappy, they negatively impact your self-esteem and personal integrity. Many people experience simialr issues due to shitty childhood. It's not shameful and you have 100% chances of sorting your problems out and eventually becoming a good husband and father

Who cares if they like you, it's their job to help you nonetheless. Or talk to a priest if you are more into that, but externalize your issues to somebody who can not fuck your life with that information.

Time heals everything, even past mistakes

Only example that comes to my mind right now is Volkswagen and the Dieselgate scandal. Does anyone even care anymore? no

Thing is, do your thing, take pride in what you do, and keep your past to yourself. Eventually it will be silence and soon after that, forgotten

I just got my first job. I don’t have the money and time yet, so maybe later. But yeah these things really bug me and make me pessimistic about a lot of things. I suffer from anxiety as well, thus making me unable to make friends. I am very lonely, I talk to myself quite often.

I might be able to sort out my problems but honesty is one quality that I preserve. I will have to tell it once the moment is right, once the question is there. And no matter how many therapies I’ve taken, etc etc., most good women can’t tolerate it. I am VERY pessimistic about women.

I really wish living alone doesn’t eat me up. I wish I’m compatible with loneliness.

Does that include lying?

>Does anyone even care anymore?
tagesspiegel.de/politik/diesel-affaere-volkswagens-ex-chef-winterkorn-drohen-25-jahre-haft/21247326.html

Holy shit literally who cares. There is literally nothing you can do to compensate for it. You sucked dick, get over your fagness, faggot, and move on.

Girls do

By “moving on”, do you mean ‘compensating for my past mistakes by making good progress in being a better person’?