I keep wishing for death and end to misery and the thought of it gives me relief and joy, but when I'm in the act of attempting it or after the times I wake up, I cry.
But I don't understand why. I simply don't understand why I still feel pain and cry. Is it the despair that I couldn't have had a good life?
Even now, I'm thinking about dying soon. This isn't a call for help or pity, I've made my decision already. I don't think I'll really die anyway, regardless, because I can't even do that right. I think about how it's been downhill since I was born. And I've started crying about it. But why? I don't understand. I simply don't understand.
Why is it that, after a lifetime of pain, I still cry, even though I should be used to it already?
I think it's kinda like you feel your effort is a waste and there is no hope. Hope generally keeps people going but sometimes we even lose that hope and wonder why we keep going. Then a part of us thinks that it cannot possibly be so unfair that we will never feel better.
I don't know what to say to you because I'm the same and haven't found a cure but I have found that distracting myself and realizing those feelings are just feelings, letting them out, accepting them, and doing something can help me keep going.
But you're right that it is a constant battle to do this everyday and it's easier to just give up. Ultimately it's up to you.
At least make some peace if you are set to leave, don't leave with any other feelings than peace.
Samuel Robinson
I don't believe you understand, and I don't blame you. I have tried everything. But when you're cursed, fighting it only punishes me further. besides, after all my failed attempts, in a few years my organs will start failing.
As for peace, I do feel peace as I lose consciousness most times. but that's all gone when I wake up and realise I've failed.
what's the most peaceful painless way to go? ideally I would prefer to simply feel like I'm going to sleep.
Jaxon Gomez
because you sympathize. because you love, the absence is painful. i would write a few words but you seem to be really suffering. You can always smile instead of crying, relax your jaw.
I know you want help, but you have to find it inside of you, accepting help is a beginning
I want help more than anything but there is no help for me any longer I have been in therapy nearly a decade Tried every thing you can think of Healthy lifestyle, gym, sports, friends, different specialists, alternative therapies, religion/spirituality, the options have ran out no matter how hard I try
And I can't even do something like sacrificing my life to save others because I truly am useless and physically incapable anymore
I want someone to help me, not cure me, but everyone leaves me.
I want something to help me, not cure me, but it never works out.
My birthday is on the 27th of June, and I don't want to reach it.
Blake Scott
Life can b sad, but theres always night to a day
Nathan Rodriguez
Smoke some good herb?
Hudson Powell
alway rember happy day
Leo Flores
been there done that, only made me feel worse and nauseated
that doesn't cut it for me, but I'm happy to know you anons can still feel like that. I hope you live on and please, don't live like I have. realise life is just another game that I've simply lost
Adrian Perry
It was short, but the replies kept me a little company. thank you anons
Christopher Harris
forget yourself in something. i dont feel crushed or desperate like you, and i surely dont have problems of your magnitude, but whenever i feel blue i just zone out of all my problems by watching a movie or playing vidya. kinda bad advice i guess, but theres my 2 cents.
Asher James
keeping the mind busy truly is the salvation for your sanity I tell you that.
how ever I reached the point where nothing ever feels good anymore at all. nothing.
But if you or someone else ever feels guilty, I want you anons to remember, in survival situations, one of the most important thing aside from food and shelter and etc.. is keeping your mind busy.
we truly are better off not thinking so much
Levi Flores
If you're still here and can read this. Good luck, see you one day on the other side, i hope it's better than this.
Thomas Perry
i fucking messed up. look at this shit. not even hour and i woke up. i am such a fuckup. see, now im definitely bawling my eyes out as opposed to the time i was slowly losing consciousness. not sure what did I take anymore but I think it was cocktail of xannies, opioids and some ADD shit.
im just going to keep doing it until I really die someday. i cant do methods like stabbing myself, hanging myself (don't have anywhere to attach the rope at home anyway), shooting myself (no guns available here), throwing myself off a bridge be caught my body enters shock and i freeze. e.g. I point the knife at my stomach but my arms start trembling and i keep thrusting but it only pokes the skin at most and eventually my whole body just freezes no matter how hard i grit my teeth and try to do it.
i dont want to go to the er and get tubes shoved down my nose and stomach. my liver is already fucked anyway and im likely to have/get cancer. i feel fine anyway physically for now.
Juan Perry
All we - we who find no way out - can do is tell each other its alright, because, in the end, we're all alone.
Lucas Thompson
drink water asap
Carter Cox
think about what you could do in your life beyond yourself, like volunteering. it's a good place to make friends.
Evan Hernandez
Why do you cry? To release the build up of stress hormones. Go see a therapist.
Bentley Reed
If you're female, crying all the time is perfectly normal under all circumstances. If not, you need to nut the fuck up, boost your testosterone and turn the stopcock to off permanently. Pic related
even if this is bait and i shouldn't reply ay all i am female (i think) and with all due respect feel the intense need to tell you to fuck off and eat shit and shove your "muh biology" middle school textbook up your ass. not because of me but because of "men crying is not normal muh biology". real masculinity is the one that doesn't waver because you have fucking feelings. fucking hell. eat shit. with all due respect.
I have been in therapy for nearly a decade
i cant even do that. im useless. i simply can't. i don't have motivation. i don't have energy. i fucked up my body beyond repair as well. id even join the military and sacrifice my life if i could. but hey. i cant.
Dylan Gomez
"i cant even do that. im useless. i simply can't. i don't have motivation. i don't have energy. i fucked up my body beyond repair as well. id even join the military and sacrifice my life if i could. but hey. i cant."
It's like you're just describing me :( Except I would never sacrifice myself for this garbage country.
I can't remember ever wanting to live. Wanted to kill myself for several years. For at least a year I think about it daily. It's pretty much all I think about. I can't even distract my mind with things I used to enjoy anymore. I don't even have enough emotion left to cry.
I wish I could help you but I can't even help myself.
Someone linked this here and it's been useful. I've been planning my suicide for a long time and this is helping me narrow down my options.
Jaxon Hughes
sorry for bumping me thread again but what happens when i dont get medical help after oding? i dont want to deeptbroat charcoal
Anthony Bell
hey look, can you really imagine life being all alone for the rest of your life? Someone good might come along
Michael Powell
Yes. I've been alone for 31 years. I'll probably be dead in less than a year so it's easy to imagine. I already know no one would want me. I sure don't.
Charles Murphy
You get to be in extreme pain while you slowly die from poisoning yourself. Depending on what you take you could take hours or days to die while your body shuts down. Odds are you won't even die. Drugs are a poor choice for suicide.
Henry Reed
get a job working for the city. that's another cause that's nonprofit and where you will meet like minded people. if you're already suicidial you may not give a damn about the fuck the police rule.
i wish you luck.
Kayden Sanchez
plus, that's old school
grandpops waz a cop
Carson Long
I can barely work at all due to disabilities. Only work 1-2 days a week. Can't support myself. Always in pain. I expect to get fired soon or just give up because I can't take the pain anymore.
Oliver Jenkins
Have you considered developing an opiate dependency?
Christian Johnson
Hey, i remember in high school the janitor was respected by even the jocks (eks)
Christopher Fisher
And I gotta say with disabilites, you can SSDI, and you can just donate or start your own charity
Grayson Stewart
Your life isnt just worth 250k be honest how crippling and you get alot maybe
Gabriel Phillips
get tatts if you down wddit
John Martin
hell you could even screen your dreams ( i think) and write a movie script
pain is influence
been under 18 years
Dylan Robinson
also my opinion lately:
Having no religion means you are muslim.
Jace Phillips
also something very nice at times:
1 scoop amino acid (i like blueberry) One black tea Some milk
Shadow of Colluses is a fun game, ESPECIALLY if you dont use guides Kingdom hearts definitley made me think with ansem reports and secret endings metroid prime is legit dead space is horrible
Matthew Gray
"skmd"
FML the day i tried to lead and was funny
but you better not fail me Jow Forumssery
Andrew Ross
expect surprises. bitches exist
Ryan Green
its the same as two above. i think i can tell you're not a bitch since you're honest if yea
same person. no human should ever be called a bitch.
Oliver Price
South Korea might die.
Another reason city jobs are important are because they will support the poor which will prevent government collapsing, as they can always raise taxes on the rich. that would prevent wars, as in Nazi Germany
Gavin Nguyen
it is the most invaded country in the world according to some. think about what that makes you think and indicate if its true or not. I'm not asking you to join the Korean army, just to understand and spread peace
just 2c
Wyatt Clark
and if i were you i would not play video games, i just spazzed out on meds.
Luke Thomas
a conspiracy theory.
The germans of krystalnaut were the ones housed in internment camps by the rich who overthrew the govt
Jason Howard
remember the LA riots? what if that guy said demon posses me and they beat him up.
Maybe it could have been cuz he was poor
Samuel Watson
cuz they heard voices
Nathaniel Parker
It's a known fact that supply lines were bombed.
The nazis could have left because theyre efforts were failing and said stay there or well kill all of you
some choice to stay, others climbed the fence
hence reason why pits vs body volumes dont add up
Henry Cox
Belgium helped me figure that i say
Charles Ward
i want my record cleaned and my friends
Thomas Fisher
if you cant do anything let me own a gun so i can protect myself
Adam Morgan
I'm happy with whats I have. Just leave me alone. let the people decide, not you. No illuminati shit on me
I am feeling more or less the same. I have to work 8 hours a day and I hate it, life just isn't worth the effort. I don't find joy anywhere now. I wish you the best nevertheless user.
Jordan Sullivan
any of my hyungs unnihs and jjashiks watching and depressed af
my fav food is naengmyun
David Green
and yo it kinda seems dope to me, but i trust the communist party and Chairman Kim Jong Un
Charles Brown
my guess is theyre nuclear drives are sychronized in reverse
that might be why we never get security leak news from them, cuz theyre encryption is like running on diesal and us ethanol
Easton Thompson
reverse hacking is hilarious. trap. hear them cry.
yo one time for da city of God yea fsho yea been livin under the pits level so high cuz i smoked an oz after a while i do alot adirt shit be like kicking stripping a fucking man of his knives knivin typing a bit slo but no apologo who cares abou t popo yo take it a bit real yo motherfuckers just go slim -
40 for the soul never see them wake stay away 40 feet away going 10 deepp mob all over 4 leaf clover yea i got bars been in the ward now a warden in this trap - yea you know you never got know everything shit comes and goes you just yea
