Girl im dating liked a guy from tinder's insta photo

So this girl and I have been going well. Had a bit of a rough weekend and a couple conflicts. I know shes into me and we're exclusive, we've been banging for ages etc. There was a guy who she added on tinder when I met her (he asked her out on the same day but she chose me) on there whom she never caught up with but added on fb and insta because they had a mutual friend.

I just saw today she liked a photo of his on instagram... She liked on a couple weeks ago and I asked her and she said its all about the followers and likes? Seems to me shes keeping him as an orbiter? We did argue a bit on the weekend but have a 5 day trip planned for this weekend coming up..

Should I be worried or am I being a beta?

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People like photos on instagram. That's what it's designed for.

Realize that as long as social media exists, petty problems like this will also exist.
Just do the best you can in the relationship. That's all you can do anyways, right?

Just taking a second to rant, social media is ruining the fucking country. Good lord just put the shit to bed.

On a petty level: What kind of picture was it? A harmless sunset/dog/landscape pic or a sensual muscled/chiseled/shirt-off pic?

On a real level: It sounds like she's immature. If she's exclusively seeing you then she has no reason to be associating with other people from tinder that she's never met before.

it was some pics of him in europe just standing near statues etc

as i said, i quizzed her last week and she said that it was nothing and "its all about the likes" .. she doesn't like that much in insta tho.. just that and a handful of pics of her girlfriends... so it seems odd. i thought maybe given the drama we had on the weekend, shes looking to monkey branch? but she booked a holiday for my birthday in two months and seems pretty invested in me even though she isn't committed to me yet.

i feel like that is a valid way to look it? why spur this guy on? he is a stranger?

bump

He tried to fuck her once. That's what Tinder is for. She knows that. She knows he wanted to fuck her. Are we to believe that suddenly he isn't willing to fuck her just because she picked the other Tinder guy (you)? Of course not. She's actively communicating with a guy who wants to fuck her and she knows he wants to fuck her.

What are you going to do about it?

so you think liking a photo is communicating with him?

i will focus on having fun with her and what brought us together in the first place. after last weekend, she might be having doubts about us.

Check her messages homie. You'll see his name

yeh i need to but i dont know if i wanna? when i initially asked her who he was when she liked some of his shit, she tried to weasel out of saying she met him on tinder with "just through messaging" so i said "tinder?" and she said yeah he was the guy who wanted to see her the night we had our first date.

i dont wanna be crushed. maybe shes keeping him as a backup unless her and i don't work out?

>keeping as back up

Prevents her from fully committing.

bump

what do you mean? her actions all point to her investing in me.. shes booked a holiday for my birthday in two months for us.

bump

>in two months for us
you'll never make it
You say her actions prove her commitment to you but cultivating other men proves the contrary

so you think liking an instagram photo is cultivating other men? i see your angle here but there are so many variables. i hope you're wrong.

I see her like 4 days a week and she is clearly invested in me. do you not think booking a holiday is a strong action towards us?

Tread carefully. Instagram boi might have his name where yours used to be on the reservation

is liking a photo on instagram from a previous tinder match really a big deal though? my feelings don't like it to be honest, but im trying to work out if its just insecurity on my behalf. eitherway, i will just remain strong and secure and proceed.

Honestly if you're trying to date a girl that sas "its all about the likes" then I don't think you should keep dating her. She is obviously vain and obsessed with her image on social media, and she will therefore post anything for "likes". I would drop her user.

yeah that comment was pissweak. i didn't know what to make of it. it kind of annoyed me.. she doesn't post much to instagram though, mainly snapchat .. not even facebook much. do you think thats some copout to justify her keeping orbiters around? i know she doesn't talk to him on facebook or snapchat, i regularly see her messenger list and she snapchats me to her stories etc. but its just instragram, i haven't sussed yet.

i cant see how she'd have the time to be gaming someone else, she spends so much time with me and the first time i noticed she liked one of his posts, was the day she booked this holiday for my birthday. since then her and i have organized to go away in a campervan for 5 days. she is pretty open with what she wants but just thinks that i am going to pump and dump her so she is scared of that. she also said she wants to meet my friends first before committing to me to make sure im genuinely the same person around her. which i think is pretty mature. i had been telling her i want a relationship with her up until friday night when we had this argument and when i said to her "i just want to keep getting to know you, i dont wanna rush in either" she got really annoyed and said im the most confusing person ever, then slammed a door...

i took that as her having her power stripped away from her which she thought she held over me. she said some nasty shit to me like calling me an idiot and then i said im done and i was getting ready to leave and end this, then she was crying. like crying so hard, she couldnt even breathe properly. it took her like 30mins to say sorry and she still wants us to work... but then i noticed today she liked this fag's pic... so maybe she feels EVEN MORE insecure about me now?

how do i proceed? im just gonna focus on being nicer to her and trying to actually romance her and have fun on this trip... what do you all think?

It's a slippery slope that can lead to other things. Just be safe. I could see if this was a personal friend, but it was a potential tinder hook up. There's a difference

Yeah, I feel you. Its not like it was a mate. Thats what bothers me?

I would sit down with her and have a proper talk. Tell her how you feel and ask her how she feels. Be honest and open and try not to let it degrade into a shit show. It just sounds like you were both confused and upset and ended up talking shit to each other.
If she says she is still not looking for commitment then you really have to assess if you want to wait or not.

As a girl, I would never like another mans photo on instagram (unless they were famous and the pic wasnt of their body, or a mutual friend of both my partner and I). Too like someones photo randomly seems strange to me, given the history between them as well. I know you asked her, but honestly I would also ask her why she cares so much about likes in the first place- especially if she doesnt post often.

Just watch for signs bro. My exwife cheated on me for years with multiple people before I found out. Even had to get a DNA test to make sure my daughter was mine. She was fucking my "best friend" while she was pregnant with my daughter.
So naturally I'm a bit paranoid anyways. Some of it bleeds into my current relationship, but this girl I'm with gives me no reason to think history is repeating. Thank fucking god.
Just keep your defenses sharp bro.

well after the last weekend, i feel like there was high conflict and dont want to upset the applecart just yet by bringing this up so soon after. the fight on friday started because when i went to meet her in the city, after she had finished work, there was a guy from her instagram who was walking like 30 meters in front of her so he walked past me and i noticed him. i have stalked him and know he was the same guy. she was all affectionate to me but i straight up asked her if she was just with him and she said she didn't even see him? he does work right near by though and she does have bad eye sight. she genuinely didn't see him and ive seen him walking around before there when shes up in her building. so i'm sure it was just a coincidence.

my ex would never do that either. so thats why i am a bit wary of this chick, but as i said, she is more into social media than my ex. she was really pissed off that i didn't initially take her word for it and asked a bit more. i then said i don't fully trust her yet since we're not committed and she said "Well how can we be in a relationship if you don't trust me?!". so emotions were heightened due to that.

i think she is invested in me (do you think?) due to her time and effort she has put in. she says she doesn't want to rush in but hanging out 4 days a week and booking holidays says otherwise right?

how do i approach this without sounding controlling and insecure?

im sorry to hear that. that is horrible. ive been cheated on too so im kinda a bit paranoid as well. my last ex was fine though, i trusted her.

do you think this is a red flag?

i should also add, that after friday, we had a fun saturday and sunday together and everything went ok.

>red flag?
Potentially. If it walks and talks like a duck, it's a duck.
Just stay mindful op

yeah true. i have stalked him since the first time she liked one of his photos and hes posted a couple of times and i was monitoring them to see if she liked those but she didn't.. it was just today since that first time when things were fine between us.

I feel like she is invested in you but doesn't know what she wants yet. Which is why she is keeping other people around, even if it is subconsciously.
Seeing the other guy in the city....eh that is hit and miss. Some people can be that oblivious to their surrondings but its also kinda rare not to notice a friend who is walking in front of you for a while.
I also feel like trust is gained by being in a relationship with someone. It flucates depending on what they do and how they act. You could trust her 100 percent right now but not during your relationship. So that comment is redundant.

Look, I like controlling guys. I would rather have someone say I dont like X, stop please. But if I was you I would give it a few more days of just nice and normal activitiy. Perhaps one night while youre watching TV and cuddling just casually ask her how she is feeling about everything. If you approach it in a casual manner without the whole "we need to talk", she will probably feel more comfy and relaxed about opening up. Once she has shared with you, mention how you feel. Don't put to much pressure on her because women seem to get stressed out by it. Just say in simple comfy terms how you feel (keep snacks and shit close by to keep it light hearted) and perhaps just say that you need to adjust to her social media habits since youre not used to them. This will plant the seed in her mind that you arent keen on it, but wont outright stop her from doing things. That way when she goes to like a picture she will think "oh user said he wasnt keen on this...should I really do it?". And she will assess if she really needs to like the guys pic. At the end of the day either she will decide to follow you or continue to do what she wants. Either way you dont look insecure or demanding, but you will be able to learn more about her in the process.

Also, enjoy the holiday. Like I said, I think she likes you but hasnt decided on commitment yet. Has she been single for long?

Just trust your intuition with that. Before my girlfriend broke up with me, she added this dude from work on all of her social media and I knew it was coming.

He's the back up guy in case it all goes to shit with you