IIT: Ask The Opposite Gender

thank you
and that was my next question, although i cant say for sure right now where i stand

anyways, what are my chances of finding someone like this?

Girls, why don't you choose me like a Pokemon? I'm ready now.

Because you're probably a Weedle

It was OK by I will never again start a LTR with someone based on looks without knowing their personality first.

Both. Physically, mentally, financially. Have your shit together. No one wants to date a child than can't take care of themselves.

This might be a doozy, but holy fuck.

>BF moved here from another country
>owes me about 4000 euros at this point altogether in rent/bills/food/and the 2000 i borrowed him for immigration papers
>before he got here caught him flirting with some nameless/faceless person online
>had a big fight where i self-harmed for the first time out of despair
>be severely depressed/anxious afterwards
>bf also doing horribly
>keep relationship
>have some incidents with each others, a lot of arguments over small things
>he hasn't done anything stupid since then and is constantly regretting it at least, but it affected him very badly too
>he got better a bit
>has lived here for over 3 months now
>keeps forgetting to do shit
>have to constantly mother him because he will not eat, shower or do anything except yell at his computer while playing video games unless i prompt him to or unless he has work
>at least he takes work seriously
>wrong
>gets a work injury out of stupidity that puts him out of work for a week
>on top of this he is never affectionate, we havent had sex in over a month yet he wanted me to suck his dick when he doesnt touch me, ever
>constantly irritated and annoyed with him now no matter what he does
>almost have nothing nice to say anymore

I don't know what to do, we just sit in each our room on our computers and don't interact. He's on sick leave now so I don't wanna argue with him but girls and boys, if you were either of us in this relationship, what would you do?

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Why am I a Weedle?

Abort mission. Yesterday, if not sooner. Let the money go and cut your loses. Cheaper than a divorce down the line.

I didn't even need to read past the 3 line (but I did anyway). He's a useless bum. He's been using you financially, physically, and emotionally since day one. Sorry you fell for his scam but you need to leave him immediately and move on with your life.

How important is love to a relationship? Is it not necessary if you get a good enough dynamic? Like you are good at living together?

You need both, otherwise you're either a failed couple, or housemates.

Break up.
Relationship is bad, has been bad, and shows no signs of getting better.
It's like you are choosing to be stagnant and unhappy.
Why are you even together still? Can you list something good that offsets all this bad? Like is he holding onto an 8x6?

Probably because you compare relationships to catching Pokémon

>guys
What do you see in babydoll, that turn you on so much?
My bf want me to wear one every time we go to bed, even if we don't have sex.
>girls
My bf has babydoll fetish, is this normal?
What do you wear to bed usually?

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>Why are you even together still?
He lives here and owes me money and when things are okay things are very okay. We get along just enough, we have similar interests, he smells REALLY nice to me and when we used to have sex it was probably the only good sex I have ever had in my life.
>Like is he holding onto an 8x6?
What does this mean

now, this is just my personal preference.

the 3 i's of attraction

intellect- can you carry a conversation? are you witty? do you have something interesting to share to other people that would make them walk away more knowledgeable.

intrigue- don't spill all your secrets. shroud yourself with a slight air of mystery. give them enough clues about your personality so they can enjoy the journey of discovering you, thus appreciating you more.

innuendo- tension is the most powerful force in the universe. give them some sexual tension. subtly let them know your intentions.

i've never actually been able to practice this as i haven't been on a date for a long time (i'm kinda shy with women and other problems IRL).

>inb4 "you stole this from a pick up artist"
nope this shit is original content.

good luck man

Babydoll is weird, he sounds like a pedo.

From previous thread.

>lingerie
>pedo
ok

bump for other opinions

Yes you probably are.

Things are very much not ok. He isn't going to pay you back. He only used to get into the country and is now living off you. You are literally mothering him. You already know this.

If you don't kick him out like you should then tell him that you aren't his mother and he needs to get his shit together. He has to pay you back what he owes or leave.

>He lives here and owes me money
Nit a reason to stay with him unhappily
>very okay.
Ok, not great not perfect
>We get along just enough, we have similar interests
Just enough... We both like video games... Sure can't replace that
>He smells REALLY nice to me
Is this enough to offset him being so lazy?
>when we used to have sex it was probably the only good sex I have ever had in my life.
Because of his 8x6
But again not an argument since it happens once a month

Wanting to work on it is commendable, but he seems to not want to work.
Tell him what you want to change, if he makes an effort ,(even a failing one) you have a chance. If he says he will change but doesn't, end it now or look back years later on all the wasted time.

Well he can't stay here forever and currently his paychecks need to be forwarded to MY account since he can't use his foreign one.
Yeah I know I am mothering him, but not so much on the money front. I AM starting to get suspicious that he's only really staying here because he gets third time the pay here than he did back home so he's just trying to amass money here to pay off his debts (something he has talked about) and isn't invested in being in a relationship, yet he feels oddly possessive over me because I HAVE suggested we break up before and he just tells me not to give up.

I kinda wanna sit down with him and be like "hey, it's okay if you just wanna stay here to work off your debt, but you have to be upfront with me about it. Because this relationship has no merit at the moment and is just making me miserable. You can stay here until you've paid off your debts, but please don't pretend anything for me because I'm dead at this point".

>Nit a reason to stay with him unhappily
No, but I really would like the money back.
>Ok, not great not perfect
Sadly.
>Is this enough to offset him being so lazy?
God no.
>Because of his 8x6
Is this supposed to be his dick size? Because his dick is quite average, but I used to suffer from vaginismus and it was extremely painful to have intercourse, but with him and his careful help in the start of our relationship I managed to get over it. I still can't orgasm during sex though, only while masturbating on my own.
>Tell him what you want to change, if he makes an effort ,(even a failing one) you have a chance. If he says he will change but doesn't, end it now or look back years later on all the wasted time.
It's just so hard because then he has to go back home with massive debt and may possibly kill himself (he has talked about it before).

I feel for ya I do, but you should confront him like in the post above if only to find out for sure, offer him to stay there as roommate or something, but living as is sounds terrible

Yeah he's being possessive because he doesn't want to stop using you.

You absolutely need to sit him down and talk seriously about this. Don't let him weasel out of it. Stand your ground and give him an ultimatum.

It's just very frustrating, at this point I've stopped crying and feeling bad that my relationship is one-sided and I no longer ask for affection because I've been turned down so many times I just don't feel like getting rejected anymore.
I've tried a few times, but he just ends up sighing and asking shit like "why are you being like this?" "can you give an example?" "i just don't know what to do".

>friends with girl for about 1.5 years
>grew very close but never got together; because we were seeing other people, because of distance, etc
>argued sometimes but this year it's been too frequent and a few weeks ago we had a huge argument
>we calmed down and decided that we should take a break for a year or so, as otherwise we'll soon reach a point where we are fighting more than being friends, so we need to let the tension die down
>we say that we should have one last day together, to end things on a high note
>but agree that no matter what happens on that day, we will still commit to the break

>the day is perfect and we have an amazing time
>it's the end of the night and time for us to part
>grab her suddenly and say
>"I don't know when I'll see you again, if I'll ever see you again, how I'll feel when I do. But if I don't say this I'm going to regret it forever: 'I love you and I'm going to miss you a lot"
>she takes my hand
>"thank you for today, I had a wonderful time. I really hope you have a great year."
>pauses, looks me in the eyes
>".....I love you"
>she steps off the train

I really don't know what to do now. Part of me thinks I should just message her but we promised to commit to the break no matter what. If I break that commitment so early it just makes me seem impatient and unreliable

This sounds like something out of a movie....but respect the break.

That's called mixed signaling, she's keeping you as backup guy.

Not high, but don't get too closed with those standards.
Life will throw a bunch of different people that might or might not be tailored to your tastes.
So I would recommend not to overlook if there is already someone around you that you might like despite some flaws

Yeah it was a bit dramatic. I had myself prepared for her to respond negatively, for some kind of rejection . "I really like you as a friend too!" or something like that. I wasn't prepared for her to say "I love you". I didn't say anything after that because I just couldn't think anymore, my mind just went empty

How long ago was this?

Sunday.

Ooooffff.

What you CAN do is send her a quick message that you're going to be thinking about her until your break is over and that you hope she'll be waiting for you after it.

>my b b b b bf wants me to dress sexy for him!
>is it normal? Isnt he gay? Or a weirdo?
Women. Women never change.

Young people will tell you that love is all what matters. Older people with kids will tell you that only roof, food and peaceful home matters.

And now the most important question: are you young or older?

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fuck im retarded and thought she was talking about like diaper shit
SORRY, its perfectly normal, shit looks sexy and becoming on you, he has good taste.

It's a barely-there sort of thing. It's also been associated with sexually attractive and available women. In media, if a woman needs to be portrayed as "sexy" she'll probably answer the front door in a babydoll.

Well I think she knows I'll be thinking of her. I hope she'll wait for me but I don't expect her to, a year is a long time and we may both find either people. We agreed that we can send Christmas and birthday cards still, so perhaps I'll just write her a really nice message in a card. Don't know what I could say though

other* people

Spill your guts out, it¨'ll be your only chance.
Also if she really loves you she might wait.

>be me, stupid and mildly thirsty
>keep talking to woman over and over, obsessing over her and all
>This leads up to a dinner date
>It ended with me not succeeding in any way, and went nowhere, with her saying she's not the dating type
>The friend shtick lasted until a few months later
>I go silent on her forever basically, 5 months and counting
>Somehow she holds a grudge and is obsessing over me now, wanting me to talk to her and she's glaring at my current friends for some reason, especially my only other womanly colleague
>She seems to keep holding back tears and anger while she's around me, all while also giving me death glares as well
>keeps talking behind my back about me for so long,I forgot whether or not I was the nutty one

So what the fuck? What did she want? I don't just give my body away to people, but I doubt she ever wanted it at all. I just think she wanted my attention only, and while it hurts me, I don't care because it's been the truth to me for the longest time.

That being said, she shouldn't be so nasty to my current friends. I understand why at me, but still, what a bitch.

She's a bit too unstable to go for, tell her to fuck off.

Hah, funny thing is I did the other day.
Probably reinforced her bitchiness, but it felt good to me.

How do I ask someone if they want to be FWBs? I'm friends with a girl I find attractive but her personality isn't compatible enough to be real friends with or a girlfriend.

Girls :
Hey, I often ear that if you're looking for a girl you should go in the street, a bar and stuff like that
But how do I break the ice ? Can't just go between you and your friend(s) and say "Hi, what's up ?" can I ?

Really anyone that wants to answer can. Matched with tinder girl, we proceed to have great conversation. She asks if I want to text, we do. We text most of the day for the past 6 days, she randomly added me on snapchat on the second day or so. Never replied to my last text on Tuesday night, looked at my story on Wednesday. Is it too soon to just double text and say hey, whats up?

You don't ask anymore than to make friends or to date, dude.

I'd say it's worth a try, If she's interested in you I don't think a single double text will ruin it anyway

You've been texting for 6 days and you haven't met yet? People are fickle user.

Do you have something to say or are you just making sure she is not ignoring you?

would like some second thoughts on this if possible

But I don't want to come off as desperate or intense or overzealous or whatever.

Although, she's the only girl I've ever known who I've genuinely considered whether I'd like to spend my life with them. I've had other relationships and some were nice, but I always knew they weren't going to last. But with her I think about marriage and kids and stuff

...but telling her all that would be weird

Thinking that is weird.

She was busy this past weekend so it's kind of just carried on with the texting.
Yeah, kind of. I want to see if she actually wants to meet up...so I guess I should just text her and find out. Wow, that was easy.

I know. But I just mean despite having had other relationships, she's the only girl I know that I'd want something permanent with and not just a passionate fling for a few weeks or months

Don't ask about why she didn't reply and just ask her out.

>hey what days are you free this week?
If she gives you any answer that isn't a day she's free, move on.

If
>she's 5'3,
>likes taking an 8 incher balls deep,
>literally orgams at the push of a button
>was on the pill the first time of meeting, is she a hoe?

He problem is that you have never really dated her, so you don't know what she can offer. And your time together has grown worse and worse.

This doesn't look good for you two.

Why do girls pull at their hair when I talk to them? I was chatting to 3 girls at once a few days ago and they all started pulling at their hair at once. What am I doing wrong?

Imo the most universal part boils down to knowing how to make your attraction and your sexuality part of the interaction with others without it being forced, a gimmick, creepy etc. E.g. the difference between a guy quickly looking away when you catch him checking you out, vs throwing you a cheeky grin or a glowing look. Obviously this is hugely about confidence, being at ease with yourself and your sexuality. Confidence also creates space for tense silence and the kind of languid play between people where you don't have to talk over sexual tension surfacing or quickly shrug it off with a joke.

It is also about not trying to be someone you're not. Rocking your own personal appeal, whether that's loud and cocky or silent and passionate below the surface (and anything else), working with what you've got and branching out from there instead of trying to copy behavior that doesn't suit you. A shy girl trying to be bubbly is going to be obnoxious.

Then there's isolated traits/abilitites that are sexy. Humor, intelligence/eloquence, passion/zest for life, you name it. Being healthy and happy is probably the single most universally attractive thing.

Well, yeah I know that's just weird to do.Cool, going to use this then.

Do I seem creepy when responding to messages quickly? The girl I'm talking with usually responds at lightning speed.

>there's no significant correlation between height and vagina depth, she could just be physically deep, even if you are trained to relax at will and push your limits that will very quickly get undone if you don't keep it up (at least with a vagina, anuses are slightly different I guess because they have so much less muscle)
>she most likely was faking it trying to impress you and give you a hell of a first time - this is still disregarding that it's kind of odd you think getting off easily is slutty
>lots of women are on the pill since their teenage years for various reasons ranging from menstrual pain or parents wanting them to be 100% safe, to skin issues, they are prescribed/suggested at the drop of a hat

I mean, all of these sure can be paired off with being promiscuous and what not, but nothing you mention doesn't have to mean anything.

What does it mean if girl says I'm inhuman, unreal, don't make her feel right? I was told that twice by 2 different girls.

Not unless your messages are creepy. At the very least it shows you're interested. Don't listen to all the BS about message timing.

It means there's something about your personality that makes them feel unsafe. Maybe talking to a therapist would help you find out what it is.

I'm a psychopath, but I thought we are supposed to make everyone feel comfortable

Ask a few good friends, they will be able to make a much better estimated guess regarding what set these two girls off. Are you on the spectrum by any chance? Not being entirely in tune with many nuances of interaction can make it feel "off" to people, especially when they can't pinpoint the reason they feel strange about it.

You're right I suppose. But it's only been getting bad for the past few months and part of that is because our lives have changed drastically and I've been incredibly depressed this year.

I know we haven't dated but we have spent a lot of time together and it's the little things that make me think she'd be a good long term partner. H er surprising me by cooking my favourite meal, going into her bedroom and seeing a framed picture of us, doing absolutely nothing all day with eachother and still having a great time etc

One girl said I was making her crazy, other said I was insincere. I don't have close friends. But the dates were great, they said it after 2nd dates only

thank you sir, i wont. i just hope i can find a girl like this.

You still had to separate because of the fighting, man. You know how she is as a friend (and it made you fight) you don't know her as a partner.

You are overinvested.

These kinds of psyhopaths are often superinterested in human psychology and very ambitious in "cheating" the system to use people. So they have great social skills and a lot of charm. They are not inherently very engaging/charming and despite their skill level many people can still "sense" something is off because human beings are finetuned to pick up social cues from each other and our communication is crazily subtle. Basically the charming psychopath is still always manually compensating and plenty of people can tell.

This is still running with the Hollywood type psychopath, many just lay low and have no desire to fuck others over, they are just regular people with little empathy who still don't fuck with others because it takes an investment of energy and a risk.

If you hear kidnappers/killers about their victims they will also sometimes say the victim definitely knew they were off (before clear red flags arose), they were just too socially conditioned to act polite to listen to their gut and run.

No, at most a little pushy if you respond much fast than they do. Make sure you don't stray too far from their pace and it's all good.

It's a personal tic for many (like fidgeting with a bracelet or biting nails), but can also be a sign of either feeling attraction or discomfort/self-consciousness.

How do you know? Have you been diagnosed with antisocial personality disorder? No professional is going to use the term psychopath or sociopath.

How is anyone supposed to feel comfortable around these people? If you are a psychopath you literally have no conscience or empathy for people. All you would do is manipulate and use people. No one wants that.

There are high-functioning "sociopaths" that know how to manipulate people but not everyone has that skill.

If you're self diagnosing here then go talk to a therapist/psychologist first.

Ty

Lasses, how much does being wrong about how a guy is affects your attraction towards them?

Let's say you think a guy is sort of a "player" because of his appearance and mannerisms and that's why you like him, but in reality the guy is autistic as fuck and sort of asperger-ish.
Is this a "deal breaker" for women?

>people think I'm really friendly
>people think I'm funny; I've had complete strangers burst into laughter at things I've said, many people that consider me one of the funniest people they've ever met
>told that when I bother to groom myself and dress nicely, I can be quite handsome
>people think I'm intelligent and interesting and witty
>people often look to me for guidance and leadership, even my boss told me recently that he thinks I'm future manager material
>apparently I'm very charismatic, I can tell a simple story and people will still be hooked
>apparently I have an "aura" of charm and confidence
>last date I went on, she said it was one of the most romantic nights she's ever had

So why do I struggle so much to get a girlfriend?

How can we know? Tell us how things fail for you and we might be able to help, but listing the pros doesn't let us see the cons.

Ladies, how often do you look at guys crotches in public and what do you think if someone has a boner in such a situation?

Well I mean I struggle to even get dates. I use dating sites but I rarely have a conversation with anyone on those that lasts. And yet last Saturday I went out on my own and got two girls numbers with minimal effort, I didn't even need to ask them for it

So what's the problem? Go out with one of those two girls.

Unfortunately I live hundreds of miles away from them. Was just an example of what I'm like. I don't think I'm some creepy beta autistic or whatever but I don't know what it is that I'm missing

So you get digits when you have no chamce of asking them out, and you can't hold a conversation when you could potentially go out.

Is that a good summary?

Can someone please explain how dating works? I'm very inept

Ever had a friend? Like that, only you can have one max. in a lot of places and you fuck them.

Going off of a previous question,

How many times do you femanons usually orgasm during sex.