Infidelity

I'd feel the same way regardless of gender. However, I would have felt your way in my twenties.

Not because of the cheating and reception, but because the "explosion" forced us to drop a lot of our pretenses and speak more honestly towards each other about what we did and didn't want in a partner.

Its not the fact that you suggested forgiveness but the fact that OP made absolutely no mention of her husband's attempts to apologize or make amends and your entire post was making excuses for him and not addressing or validating any of OP's pain or anger. You immediately jumped on the side of forgiveness without making any mention of whether or not he actually met any of the requirements for being worthy of forgiveness and then spent the rest of your post rattling off shitty justifications for cheating on your pregnant wife. You give shit advice.

why do you women think its ok you attach yourself to a well off dude then pop out a few kids and barely work

you dont love him, you love his money and the security he blissfully blessed you with

let me tell you something about men, if you aint our equals, we use you as a commodity, we may or may not replace you with another, but we sure as hell dont view you as our inseparable better half, you gambled, and after a year of "knowing" him you decided this is a risk to take

yea loads of women go through this, because you have peanut sized brains

So cheating and deception was the catalyst that motivated you two to more effectively communicate. You're both so ineffective at being in a relationship with each other that stabbing each other in the back is what it takes to jumpstart your relationship? Whats it going to take the next time you two are in a rut? A murder? Sure, honey. Your relationship is "stronger". Whatever you have to tell yourself.

*deception
I did jump to the point where I could give advice based on my own experience, yeah. But I think the given details warrant a closer look.

Fuck off back to you wormy little shit.

Wew, sweetie.

The person who replied to you and who you're replying to isn't OP of that post, I am, just thought I'd clear that up real quick.

OP said:
>He immediately told me he slept with her and it didn't mean anything. That he loves me, and wants to be with me and our son to come.
I think the "I'm sorry" was implied there, OP just didn't type those exact words. I didn't make justifications, which is the action of showing something to be right or reasonable, I listed the likely reasons why he cheated to provide some solace to OP, which maybe she can understand more and choose if she wants to forgive him or not.

referring to it as "stabbing each other in the back" makes me think that you and I have different views of cheating. You see it as an act of violence where I see it as a messy part of the human condition, albeit a painful and complex one.

When she cheated on me with her ex girlfriend I was fucking pissed but I also saw it as more than a black and white issue.

I dealt with this for years with my ex-wife. She even cheated on me when she was pregnant with my daughter. I suggest contacting your family. I was literally in the same boat as you. My exwife had me isolated and hating everyone. I didn't even let my parents fly out to see her when my daughter was born. Things are quite a bit better now.

Don't try to make this work, don't forgive him. Do the best you can and the sting will dull in time. Focus on your baby and give him/her the life they deserve.

>incel spotted

The responses in this thread show a clear line of old vs young. When I was in my 20s, the only justice for cheating was the death penalty, now that I'm in my 30s I understand that shit is more complicated and like another user said it's more than just black and white.

Lol you are right on. I'm 35 and I can definitely see my past self in some of the comments here.

Virgin troll, enjoy never finding love

>I think the "I'm sorry" was implied there, OP just didn't type those exact words.
You think, maybe perhaps cheating on your pregnant wife is deserving of more than an implied sorry? You're sure motivated to defend this guy. I wonder why.

>I didn't make justifications
No, that's exactly what you did. You did a lot of it, as well. I also don't know in what universe you live in that giving a pregnant woman reasons why her husband cheating on her isn't all his fault is supposed to give her solace.

>which maybe she can understand more and choose if she wants to forgive him or not.
Don't back pedal. That wasn't your advice. Your advice was encouraging her to forgive him followed by a list of reasons why emotions and events out of his control drove him to do it. In the english language we call those "justifications".

There's nothing complex about a man choosing to sleep with another woman while his current one is pregnant.

Have you been cheated on?

Don't be deceived, people, these posters are undercover incels who pretend to hate incels. So fuck off back to Jow Forums, virgin incels, you're not tricking me.

No, it's ultimately indefensible. Would you call it worse than just up and leaving his wife for the ex?

>referring to it as "stabbing each other in the back" makes me think that you and I have different views of cheating
Its a turn of phrase, user. Drop the Freud shit. It was a deception, yes. I'm not saying that you're not in the right to make whatever decisions you want about your relationship but to encourage someone in OP's position to try to find a way to look at this incredible betrayal as something to make her relationship stronger is incredibly naive. The fact of the matter is that her partner, your partner, thought so little of you in a moment that they betrayed your trust and violated the terms of your relationship. Objectively, this is not a good sign. I'm glad you managed you wiggle some positive out of it but to your average person trust in a relationship is a little more black and white then you're trying to make it. It doesn't matter what way you try to spin it the trust in your relationship is irreparably damaged, not strengthened. It will always be there in the back of your mind. For the vast majority of people not being able to trust your partner is a relationship killer, through and through.

Rebuilding trust is DEFINITELY one of the hardest parts of getting past the infidelity and lying, yes.

i have a girlfriend and far from being an "incel", apparently you are either whores guilty as charged or white knighting said whores, pretty sad

Playing in hypotheticals is not productive. What he did was indefensible. He prioritized having sex with his ex over the well being of his wife and unborn child. There is no justification under the sun for that.

No, but don't try to make this focus on me. This is about your shitty advice and subsequent back peddling.

i thought there weren't any incels left after r/incels was cancelled!

Thank you everyone, reading your responses made me laugh and smile.... as expected from Jow Forums...
I need to relax and think about this clearly before making any decisions, update, he keeps massaging me saying he is sorry, and it was closure for the both of them, It angers me more, really closure? I don't want too see any of his messages anymore. Im going to block him temporarily

I mean this with no hostility, I'm happy to debate you on this.

>I think the "I'm sorry" was implied there, OP just didn't type those exact words.
>You think, maybe perhaps cheating on your pregnant wife is deserving of more than an implied sorry? You're sure motivated to defend this guy. I wonder why.
If you're implying that I've cheated or my ex's have, I'm sorry to say you are mistaken, but back on point, I don't know what else someone can say other than an apology, or what other form of forgiveness there is, but it's something that has to be good enough for both of them to be satisfied.

>I didn't make justifications
>No, that's exactly what you did. You did a lot of it, as well. I also don't know in what universe you live in that giving a pregnant woman reasons why her husband cheating on her isn't all his fault is supposed to give her solace.
I pulled that definition straight from Google. I did not state ANY justified reasons like "oh you were a bitch so this is why he did it", justification goes with righteousness, and there is nothing righteous about his behavior. I stand with my argument of stating that guessing the thought process that lead him to cheat might help bring peace to OP

>which maybe she can understand more and choose if she wants to forgive him or not.
>Don't back pedal. That wasn't your advice. Your advice was encouraging her to forgive him followed by a list of reasons why emotions and events out of his control drove him to do it. In the english language we call those "justifications"
I said that personally, I would, not saying that she should, that's for her to decide, the personal "I would" was just that, a personal note. The rest of my retort here is summed up with the above argument.

I'm the "maybe forgive him" user and I think you are making a great decision. If there's one thing that I've learned over and over again it's that I should always think about my actions before I take them.

On the flip side, blocking him is the best way to be able to concentrate on yourself and make the best decisions for yourself. I wish you the best of luck.

Women cheating with women isn't real cheating. It's easy to forgive that.

Yes it is, the same as a man cheating on his wife with another man.

Sup incel? Enjoying your day off from r9k, huh?

Lol I used to think that but actually I fear her with women more than guys. It's that emotional connection that girls seem to have.

I know that it's a totally unfounded and ridiculous but I yam who I yam.

Dear god I hope you're the same user as these:
That way we KNOW you're retarded and ignore all your inane banter

Yeah, I'm going to head over to /ck/ next! How about you?

Tell that to gay men.

It seemed like low effort bait to me but then again we do live in the hworst timeline.

Might check out /sp/. But get a load of this angry incel

For sure. When a gay coworker propositioned me she FREAKED out.

that incel is so angry that I bet he goes out and crushes pussy to act out after this

I like this guy

Is four months pregnant too late for you to abort because you probably should

Did you sleep with him?

No, I tried that shit in college and it never did anything to me. I basically mentioned it to her to check if she was interested in seeing something like that (she used to read and write gay fic when we met) but she more took it as disrespectful to her and our relationship and was mad that I didn't immediately tell him off.

You should have gotten him to wear a wig, close your eyes and let him blow you.

I was sure at the time that I wouldn't even be about to get it up.

Now that I'm older and have been introduced to certain drugs tho...

Also, no wig would have covered the feel of his facial stubble against the base of my dick.

He said something very similar, it worries me soo much, how can I trust him again to go see his kids and thos not happen again?

>how can I trust him again to go see his kids and thos not happen again?
You can't. Your instincts are right on this one.

Actually when we first met, he had just lost his job because of drug use. I helped him get over that, he found a better job. We were botj working, up to the point where I got pregnant. And it has not been easy for me. The pregnancy has taken alot out of me, i can't seem to eat, im constantly throwing up, my body is randomly rejecting water. My doctor does not want me to work.

Thank you, one of my thoughts was to leave and disappear. For him not to have anything to do with our baby, but it also makes me sad, to think thats what is ex did too. And it makes me upset that he put me in this position.

if the roles were reversed here, everyone in the thread would be telling you to dump that bitch and leave forever.

i would say the same thing, but the fact that you're pregnant does change things. Do you really want to be a single mother? you may make things harder and put yourself in a bad relationship with your child, also of course you'll have to go through the dating process with a small child, and speaking from experience it kinda fucks you up.

if you can find it in your heart to do so, i'd say either forgive him this one time or get an abortion and break up. Please don't raise a child alone.

I have god tier empathy and communication. I'm not threatened by girls in that regard.

I'm not. I'm not the jealous kind, butneven the slight sting with other guys isn't there with girls.

Do you have dick pics user? Something about you greatly arouses me. I wish we coul swap saliva.

Bunch of arguing in this thread.... should point to the fact that OP it’s up to you. Welcome to life, where you get to make decisions sometimes.

Are you personally able to forgive the cheating? And the lying? And the “It meant nothing” herpa derpa? If the answer is no, then it’s time to consider practical matters about pregnancy, can I have this kid, do I still want this kid, etc. etc. Those are up to you because obviously you can’t trust the man who helped you make the kid.

So you have some decisions to make and you gotta make em alone... or with your parents / other truly trusted people at your discretion.

As for the Father, well not many positive things to say there.... stop making excuses for him, he obviously doesn’t care about your well being, he obviously doesn’t know how to make prudent life decisions - sleep with ex. Vs. honor voluntarily made marriage commitments etc.... so not much positive to say there.

If this isn’t a troll, good luck. Time to make some decisions for yourself and live with the consequences. Seriously, best of luck.

He's a piece of shit and you can't trust him ever again.
Cheating is a like a dog that bites. Once it get's away with it once it'll keep biting people until it's put down. You're either in control of yourself or you aren't.

t. Cuckold ahahahaha

Whoooooore

Call him first. Then meet him if you decide to go back which you probably will. Jow Forums is here for you user. Nice of you to come here for help.

This, start obtaining cats and reading feminist lit now and hope they eat you in your sleep before your 60.

>marrying a single parent
Every damn time. You stupid shits never learn, you always convince yourselves THIS single parent is going to be the good one that you can change. It's not even a gendered thing, it's just that retards can't seem to grasp that you avoid single parents.
I know a guy just like your husband, he does the shit in your post to the letter and is on his third pregnant wife right now, with divorce papers imminent.

But consider the fact that, if you divorce rape him out of anger at his infidelity, you will thus be a single mother and the same type of garbage he is now. Is it unfair? Somewhat, and I am being harsh (not at you per se, but at the mindset that results in your situation), but then again you did freely make the choice to get with him to begin with. What did you expect? It's the same thing as a guy being surprised an ex-prostitute gf gave him an STD.

Keep him on a tight leash. Tell him that because he fucked up this bad that you don't want him to see them, unless they come here and JUST the kids, not the ex, she can drop them off then go do her own shit while you visit with them. He fucked up now he has to pay the price.

No, 100% of the time, no exceptions whatsoever. Adulterers deserve six feet of soil in an unmarked grave, nothing more or less.

>meet a guy
>marry him a year later
>something goes wrong

>why did this happen to me

A classic, really.

Not only that, but he had kids from a previous failed marriage.
"The past doesn't matter", my ass.

Dumb people like OP deserve this kind of life. Stupid people never learn

Ironically, not having adequate male and female role models is how incredibly fucked up people like literally hitler are made.

Both of my parents are people who would get along with Jow Forums normies just fine, try again.
I come from a stable and loving household in a well-off community.

I think you've been cheated on in the past and you're letting your emotions get the best of you

Sounds like a Pyscopath

>I've decided that your argument is incorrect but instead of providing any kind of counter argument I'm just going to call you over emotionally and give myself a gold star for winning a debate without using my brain

New to Jow Forums?

Tap the brakes bro

Also why the fuck is this thread still around? We helped OP, and she's fucked off now. More replies is just bumping pointlessly..

Hitler actually had great parent role models, he was not a fucked up person. He had a good idea but executed badly

>(I've waited for this)
So what you're saying is....
Hitler did nothing wrong

COPE
O
P
E

Not at all, if you had a little bit of reading comprehension you would understand I said he had a good idea, but badly executed. Implying he did do bad things.