Let's talk

Does CBT actually work? I don't want to waste my money on therapy if it won't yield any results.

going away from the internet will only make things worse, because i won't have something to do or an occupation, and i dont see how it will fix all the other points i mentioned earlier

But if he was actually excited wouldn't he do some work to help make it a thing? I have a job starting late June in another state so there's not a bunch of time to pull everything together, and then he tells me today "Hopefully us moving happens". Like I don't know what to say to that when I'm the one doing the work and worrying about getting everything together in time, like if he's not going to help me then I at least need him to be more encouraging than that

Well the question is does pull those stints often? How much does he invest in the relationship compared to you?

It's hard to say because we've been LDR for a while. He's usually the one who drives to see me, and we'll text each other and initiate conversations pretty equally. The job thing isn't surprising, and neither is putting off necessary tasks in general. I just thought he'd be really gung ho about getting this to work because he's been talking about how badly he wants to live together and how he feels like he's going crazy stuck at home

That means he's just lazy. Be prepared to financially support him. Or alternatively you can tell him to get his act together and get a job. Don't move in. Keep him on a short leash before the problem gets out of hand.

CBD > CBT

I do have the option to get an apartment with individual leases. It's more money and I wouldn't be able to help him out if he hadn't found a job yet--both a good and bad thing I guess. But we've been LDR for over 6 years now, and this is the best opportunity for a trial run because it'll be temporary and then I'll have to find another job, likely somewhere else. I won't be getting paid much so having a roommate would be smart.

How do I keep him on a short leash?

kinda. my therapist is really good so it's hard for me to tell if it's him or the methodology. find a good therapist you can open up to and that helps more than anything.

>How do I keep him on a short leash?
By not letting him get away transgressions like this one. Talk to him about how the relationship won't be taken to the next level without his financial contribution. He may suffer from depression in which case keep encouraging him instead of enabling him.

How much money does he charge?

But I feel like that's an ultimatum and I'm not sure if ultimatums are the right route to take. Also he's said himself that he wants to get a job so that I'm not having to cover all the rent, because that'll make him feel lazy and useless. But when I gently asked him if he's applied to any other places besides this one business (that seems like they won't accept him) he said no and that he's out of ideas after that.

Also dumb question, but how do you encourage someone without enabling them? Just telling him that I know he can figure something out but don't go researching jobs in the area for him?

Be nice to your mom. Have you tried talking to her about any of this? Sometimes we build a prison of secrets. We are so ashamed of ourselves that we believe that we were exposed we would be unlovable. Wanting to be girl is not sick. lots of people cross dress. It seems like almost everyone has been molested. I'm not making light of it, it fucks you up, but you can be happy. Take ownership of your life, and be the person you want to be.

Does he add to your life in positive way? If someone is suffering from depression that is sever enough that it is preventing them from working. They shouldn't be starting a serious relationship. You def should be freaking out. DO NOT MOVE IN TOGETHER!

Its not an ultimatum. You're not ending the relationship. It's going to stagnate if your partner doesn't put the work in. You need to give him some form of motivation and it might as well be his love for you. Help him search for a job but don't apply for him.

I think it would be $70 a session if I didn't have insurance

He's had jobs before, and honestly he has a much better track record than me of being able to suck it up and get any job that pays. He definitely adds to my life, and we've already been in a serious relationship for a while now. I do feel like a decent amount of the lack of motivation and depression comes from the fact that he's living with his parents. Honestly they're not very good to him, they always call him lazy and insult him, make mean-spirited jokes about him. He started antidepressants less than a year ago so he's at least trying something to help with the depression. If us moving in was a potentially permanent thing, I absolutely wouldn't do it. But it's only going to be 6 months and then my internship will end and the lease will be up, so that makes me feel like it could be a good trial run. But I'm definitely worried about it

Yeah you make good points. I'll help him look for jobs and maybe tell him that I need him to kind of step up his game a little. I'm feeling pretty stressed and overwhelmed and him sitting around isn't helping anything

I’m so disinterested, in every aspect of life, especially romantically. I wear pretty much just hoodies (I own about 10 I rotate through) and literally refuse to make eye contact with any men. I must come off as awful but they idea of anyone wanting to be with me repulses me. I have one irl friend and I take all my classes online, and spend most of my time sleeping and drinking and seeing how long I can starve myself for. I’ve cut everyone off from uni, and HS besides the one girl I previously mentioned. I know deep down I need therapy, maybe medication but I just don’t care to change, I want to disappear completely.

I think CBT would be extremely effective in modifying behaviour. The person conducting would need a lot of experience so to identify how far to take it to get the desired results.

CBT is a well known acronym for 'cock and ball torture' a BDSM practice.

I can't tell if the response is genuine.

I randomly start giggling for like 2-3 seconds, and at the same time my arms and neck spazz out a little, happens once every four hours, there's nothing that triggers it, it's completely random.
I can't finish things I've started, and I've read all those things on the Internet that claim to fix this and it's never worked, when I went to high school, after being done with 60% of the course I ditched for 2 months and was shut off because of that, I just lost all my willpower all of a sudden, no amount of "forcing myself to go" worked either, I've done this on 4 different schools now, even did it with a work I had between school for a short while, I need an education to not become a burger flipper and it ain't working out very well for me to say the least.
No matter the importance of the thing I'm doing, this always happens.
Oh I also like to damage my body, not cutting but more like lightly poisoning myself and such stuff.
I really enjoy getting cramps, body tremors and bad blood circulation, and generally when my body malfunctions so to say.

I made this joke in rehab and one of the partners of the place in his 40s started laughing his head off.

I’m too ugly to get anyway, pretty fat to the point of being laughed at, and socially awkward to the point of constantly being called retarded. I can barely hold a job or be indpeendent because of how anxious I am.

I’m 20 and have moved back wiin h my parents, not doing jack shit.

I feel like I’m too far in kinda-NEET life, Hoyle I just end it or keep going?

how can i muster up the courage? i don't believe in myself anymore

Last year of school and all I do is play tetris and talk shit with mates, have I fucked up?

Has something traumatic happen to you to be this way?

I'll beat your ass in tetris I did the same thing my senior year of high school

I have severe trust issues from my previous marriage. She had cheated on me multiple times with different people.
I am now divorced, and have been in a relationship for about 7 months now. Things are going great, but I keep feeling like history will repeat and it will happen again. She gives me no reason to suspect anything. In fact she's extremely open with me about everything.

But I just can't get over the nagging feeling I'm bound to be cheated on for eternity. This is definitely a self inflicted mentality, and self victimizing, but I can't figure out how to stop it. And I don't want to chase her away

It's just the perfect game also I'm pretty trash so wouldn't be a feat

Just focus on enjoying yourself with her and watch out for her guy """""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""friends""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""""

Lasted 2 and a half hours on lvl 16 endless on tetris Mobil. But I haven't played in a year or so I'm probably trash

I think i care more about tetris than my education

I've stopped smoking and fapping at the same time. Halp

Yeah, cool thing is, she doesn't have any guy friends. Only one is morbidly obese and lives with his mom so i mean... not too worried on that one

How do I deal with sadness from a breakup? I hate that it feels like hell every morning I wake up and right before going to bed. The many thoughts swimming through my head really don't help. I want to just get this over with so I can be happy and pick my life back up again.

As someone in your position, I strongly advise you to choose one, conquer it, and then tackle the other.
Unless your masturbation habit is actually interfering with your normal daily functioning, I’m certain quitting smoking, difficult as it may seem, should take priority for health reasons.
If you’re smoking more than 10 a day, try patches; otherwise you should be able to manage with spray, lozenges etc to get you through cravings or even just go cold turkey. Keep in mind that vaping is preferable to tobacco, too.
Cigarettes are a real bastard but you’ll definitely feel the positive effects accumulate with every day that passes and you’ll never look back.
I wish you all the best.

>24khv
>dating a girl who I'd been crushing on for months
>it was adorable, I felt a real emotional connection with her, it was like teenage love
>never went further than holding her hand because I was afraid of fucking up
>got too clingy and she asked me to just be friends
>we've been ignoring each other for over 2 months, even though we're in the same room at least 3x a week
>sometimes see her staring and when I look back she looks away
>meanwhile I met another girl
>2nd date
>we're both tipsy
>make out
>heavy making out
>tongue, ass grabbing, probably could have escalated to sex, I just didn't want to rush into anything
>don't really feel any emotional connection with her
>seems like she's expecting something serious right away
>don't wanna commit to anything, but I had a lot of fun with her

I don't know what to do. I wish I could get the other girl back, but it seems that ship has sailed. On the other hand, I don't rule out being in a relationship with this girl at some point, but right now I'm just not feeling it. The fuck do I do?

How the fuck do I get laid if I live far away from a city? Can't move yet because of economy.

I like a girl that has specifically told me she doesn’t like me but still flirts with me. I know I’m being used for attention but I can’t stop myself from flirting back. Very annoying.

Ask the girl to hang out. Don't ask her out on a date. Just to hang out. Then start to slowly escalate and flirt as though it's a date.

My ex still does this. Get out now user

>phone in pocket, calls someone
>look at log, 3 missed calls
>"sorry, went off in my pocket"
>no response, thank god
>30 mins later, "you in town?what you doing?"
>respond yes cause I don't like bullshitting people
>in under 10 seconds "wanna hang out tomorrow?"
>respond no in a nice way
>one hour and a half later "ok"
and now I'm thinking about her again
about 2 months since we haven't spoken, we didn't fight or anything, I just walked out cause I wasn't satisfied with her just friends bullshit
we got so close too

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excersise up, if you take it really really slow you could look stunning by age 25, if you go full on you could look stunning in ac ouple of years

>23yo
>decisive and cold
>INTJ personality but managed to become a good salesman by forcing myself to act human
>this comes with obvious benefits
>beautiful girls, cheap drinks, etc.
>only downside is I'm pic related when talking about feelings
>my depression is bad, but mostly manageable

>a year ago
>meet my soon to be girlfriend
>she's gorgeous, high IQ
>she's also extremely agreeable and impulsive

>today
>bad day at work
>didn't reach my target
>accidentally signed up one lead for the most depressed coworker I've worked with in a long time
>I know he's normally extremely motivated so i decided to just let it be
>tried to comfort him throughout the day couldn't get through to him, he kept spewing negative BS

>back home
>gf tells me my coworker claimed I was the cause of his bad results that day
>gf tells me this isn't the first time she heard that
>tells me I'm a bad influence on people and if I can't change that, then "this job isn't meant for you"
>tells me "you're not acting like a senior salesman"

Nevermind the backstabbing and hypocrisy, I got furious when she told me that last part. I have worked so damn hard for what I am. Screaming continued and she told me she didn't want to see me again. I asked her 3 times if she meant what she said, the third time she said "pack your bags and get out". So I did.

Just received a phone call from her saying how she can't lose me. No acknowledgement of how she shouldn't have said things, just that she can't lose me.

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Needless to say I hopped on the bus and told her to talk about it in a couple days. I love her to death, but my pride is more important.