So this will be a fairly long story so stick with me here
I spent a good part of my life home schooled and friendless, had a single mom who was VERY protective and never really saw other kids as "good influences". Unsurprisingly this made me incredibly antisocial and socially awkward. I always turned to old dos games for escape as we were fairly poor and had no internet or decent computers, Doom, Civilization, Rogue, the works, and they brought forth a passion in art. Anyway, i never really got anywhere with home schooling and both me and my mom gave up around grade 9 (im surprised i got that far). So i just sat around doing nothing and half ass looking for a job. Eventually at 16 i ended up getting hired at a wreck hall of sorts, it sucked, some of my first actual interaction beyond my mom and relatives was with omeganormies that i had nothing in common with and some of the guys where way too attracted to my shyness, which just made me even more anxious and every time they said any form of compliment my autist self would heavily blush as i had no idea how to handle it. I kinda started to get the hang of the job and with the new income i tried to improve mine and my moms life, getting internet, a better computer, cheap smart phones, and my own laptop, this is how i found Jow Forums and you guys. I tried to keep my job steady but the issues just kept getting to me and i eventually quit. While i was there however, i learned from some coworkers about a little place called jobcorps (some of you may know about this program) after a few months of degrading living conditions i took it apon myself to finally leave the nest and jobcorps was a good place to start. (Cont.)
After a big fight with my mom i eventually made her sign the necessary papers to go, i couldnt stand the thought of her having to go back to the strain of working multiple jobs to feed both of us, and jobcorps gives full living conditions, feeding, and an officially recognized high school education, along with teaching you a "trade" (being a line of work, primarily construction related trades such as carpentry and welding). I went with Office Administration as i liked computers. The first 2 months where incredibly stressful and degrading, having to live in such close proximity of other people and being forced to interact with them was difficult to say the least. I kind of started to get into the groove about 4 months in, at which point i was 60%~ done with the program and had made a few friends along with plenty of "friends". By the end of the program i was almost 18 and finally had a grasp on social interaction. I was set up with an OA internship slot for when i turned 18 and was sent home. I felt incredibly proud of what i had done and i was happy to come home and have the working drive to help my mom around the house and i waited untill i turned 18, at which point i moved out of state and took up my internship. It was a job, not great, not horrible, it was nice living independent after spending 9 months living in a crowded dorm. But i wanted more, I wanted collage. (Cont.)
Elijah Cooper
I began by enrolling in the local state collage (some of my jobcorps friends where going there) After awhile i got a letter in the mail >Accepted.jpg YES, i had done it, i went from nothing to something, i set up to go as soon as possibly, overspending on supplies and over planing everything i would do, i started my semester and loved it, that love never waned, i went 2 semesters just focusing on my work, hardly interacting with other people on the side, always making some excuse to not hang out, eventually this lead to my friends giving up on me and breaking contact, but i didnt care, i was obsessed. Oh how i miss that. Eventually it all got to me, i started to lose my drive and the increasing difficulty and stress was weathering me, i tried to start up social interaction again but to no avail, other than one friend, lets call her stella, stella was the only jobcorps friend who actually stuck it out through collage, all the others gave up. I hadnt talked to her since the last semester and she was more than glad to have me back, naturally i started venting to her and talking about my problems. She told me about this one guy she knew, lets call him nier, she spoke of him like some sort of magic guru and it annoyed me, she said he could "make your problems go away" and "bring new light to your life" (She is a normie white girl through and through). eventually she invited me to the study hall so i could meet him and i said fuck it. (Cont.)
Julian Peterson
tl;dr Nobody wants to read your life story. Get to the point.
Ian Richardson
Nier was really smart, full blown movie character smart, he doesnt actually look like nier but he reminds me of him cuz of the way his hair looks and the way he always plays with it, he was fun enough to talk to, he was always quick to the punch and great at making jokes out of most anything (he also wasnt a normie which was a real +) i warmed up to him fairly quickly and we studied together allot from then on. After a couple months i actually started talking to him about some more "deep" stuff, politics, society, so on, he was really good at understanding and explaining things, especially when retaining to people, i remember venting to him about how much of an asshole one guy was for trying to hit on me when he was dating someone i knew, and he fully explained his point of view, the physiological reasons why he felt the need to assert himself and why he felt entitled in his own mind to be allowed to hit on multiple women. I ended up talking to him about my own problems and internal struggles and man did i fall into that, he was always so.fucking.good. at putting things into perspective and helping you to accept something as being what it is, and if you cant, explaining ways to fix it or cope with it, this guy was like a fucking genii, he knew it all it seemed.
I started falling for him pretty quickly. (Cont.)
Brody Ortiz
I talked to him more and more, always looking for an excuse to be around him, getting more and more touchy even though he didnt really like it and often got annoyed by it, i started to talk to stella about my feelings for him and she encouraged i tell him, eventually i worked up the courage and told him, he explained to me the reasons why i have been falling for him like he did with everything else, it fucking destroyed me, i left visibly angered and stressed, it kept me up all night and kept me from doing my work. After a few weeks i went back to talk to him, he immediately apologized for making me feels so shitty, which sorta reassured me, but i still felt bad i sat down and talked to him about how i felt and that i was sure it wasnt just a passing thought or phase and that i actually deeply cared, this seemed to get to him, for once he didnt really have an answer but it didnt end with much, he kinda just tried to deflect the conversation after a few minutes of silence. That was 2 weeks ago and he hasnt pushed the matter any further, and doesnt really let me either.
I truely love this man Jow Forums, i love everything about him, every flaw, every little quirk, i love it all, but i dont think he is even capable of sharing such a sentiment, i dont know if it is worth it to try and make it with him, ive never had any sort of love for another person other than familial love and simple friend stuff, this is tearing me apart and i need help from you guys. Is he worth it? or should i just give up?
Luke Adams
Nice blog post.
Jeremiah Davis
why thank you user
Gabriel Foster
Way too long to read. Rephrase your question in like one paragraph
Carter Young
>all day to read Jow Forums shitposts >tldr
>super smat guy im hella into >he constantly deconstructs everything >i hella like him >i confess that to him >he deconstructs that >it destroyes me >i still try to salvage it >he begins deflecting and avoiding the topic
is he worth it or should i give up
Jayden Myers
Rape him with a strapon dildo and dare him to deconstruct why he is such a little bitch.
Anthony Campbell
>i confess that to him >he deconstructs that
i guess he not interested
just give up
Jordan Perez
give up not saying "yes" means no
Anthony Collins
This will be all over the place but hopefully it's decent advice.
I liked this post so much, very inspirational... Anyway I saw some level of similarities between the guy and myself so maybe I this could be relevant for your situation. First off if you have a similar level of sexual interactions/partner that's probably going to be very important. Second it sounds like he's TOO grounded. Meaning he's able to understand the true meanings behind peoples psychology, but not very good at understanding the experience of psychology. It probably makes him uncomfortable. Using light and spectrum as an example... It's like he understands what light actually is... an electromagnetic radiation and color is a certain frequency. That's what light is, but to actually experience light with your eyes and mind is actually a pretty amazing thing and explaining it at that level doesn't do it justice.
Third he might very well like you and not be aware of it. He understands and is made uncomfortable by it and pushes it back probably. If you really want him you could probably take him. Ask him to talk with you in private, get secluded, set up a calm simple environment talk with him for a while, ask about things he likes if he likes girls get closer to him fucking get on top of him kiss him and if he freezes up go slower and make sure you kiss his lips. Try to go at it, if you're inexperienced tell him. you very well may have to be dominant some what aggressive it's like what you gone through you had to go through something for you to get use to it and become better, he has to go through something to become comfortable. So just be assertive but nice, and if he freezes up slow down and say something to take the edge off. This part could totally be wrong and i could elaborate more. If you aren't cool with being the dominant one there is a good chance once he gets comfortable with it he'll take over that roll with time.
Nathan Torres
From one homeschooled kid who sperged out on love in college to another, never under any circumstances put anyone on a pedestal like that. Not saying your feelings for him doesn't matter, but it ain't healthy at all to obsess over someone because you think he's 'the one' or whatever.
Second of all, have some empathy. Look at this from his point of view. I want you to imagine if a guy friend, who you're absolutely not attracted to, decides to confess his love to you. You reject him, because fuck who the hell says yes because it might hurt his feelings. You try to be as reasonable as you could. But now he's fee fees are all butthurt. Well congrats you just enter papa Nier's shoes('merica version ain't need no pretty boy).
Third and last point, that excessive hurt feeling might just be your lack of self-esteem bullshit talking. Might just be me projecting, since homeschooling did messed up my self-esteem a wee bit when deal with other people. But anyway, the point is his rejection 'destroyed' you because it makes you question if you're good enough for him or something. And believe me that shit can fuck you up if you don't get your mindset strait.
Zachary Adams
Honestly this guy kind of reminds me of myself where I make jokes out of anything and intellectualize human behaviour as a coping mechanism because at the end of the day I'm uncomfortable with my own and others emotions.
If he's still at the stage where he just deconstructs/deflects/avoids when someone tries to get close rather than explaining him own experience properly like he would when considering anyone else's situation he's probably not ready for a relationship at this stage of his life.
Do you know if he's ever had a girlfriend before? What age is this guy? Do you know what his childhood/parents were like?
This guy gets it. I've only had two girlfriends and it was from them basically pestering me to go out with them until after a while I'm used to the idea/feeling of being in a relationship with them. And I still never initiate anything romantic, emotional or even sexual, that's all on them.
Which most women aren't comfortable with since you go from thinking this guy's so stoic and self-assured and masculine to oh he's actually emotionally stunted and passive and I need to take the perusing role in any sort of intimacy. Which seems to fuck with most women's self-esteem, feeling that their man doesn't pursue them, in the same way that most men's self-esteem gets fucked with if he feels he cant peruse women properly himself.
Also, OP, if he outright shuts you down if you keep asking him out don't feel too bad since it's all about how his mind works, not his judgement of you, and he'd say the same thing to any other woman.
Gabriel Price
I think this could actually work but im a little bit worried about a couple of things
First off if im thinking realistically, another push on him could cause a rift, im not looking to lose him as a friend, but im also worried about the fact that there may be implications to this, hes never been one for talking about himself so i dont know if i could be awakening some form of bad memory or even trauma he had in his past, trauma would explain his inhuman obsession with understanding everything and hes never deflecting any conversation, no matter how uncomfortable
Second im worried about a less realistic aspect of him, he is calm and collective pretty much always but sometimes he seems to "crack" and seem a bit more sinister and (on one occasion) even sadistic, again unrealistically, i feel like i may not like the ""real"" him if that happens to come out once im close enough to him. Im also worried about him being unable to handle such odd and unknown feelings and ruining both our lives from it.
I do think it is good advice and i am going to try and get to know his history before pushing for my admittedly blind love for him.
Zachary Hall
>Do you know if he's ever had a girlfriend before? What age is this guy? Do you know what his childhood/parents were like?
I dont know for sure, but his whole personality suggests either no history, or a really bad history. He turned 20 in January. Only thing ive found out about his childhood is he was a serious shut in and a drop out. (no clue how he found his way into collage)
The second half was great too and, in all honesty, sounds like something he would say. (hell for all i know he browses Jow Forums and has seen this thread)
I thank you for your take on the situation too, i think you have a serious point about my overzealous attachment and my self-esteem, and i will for sure keep this in mind throughout this experience, but i choose to pursue him as i feel the experience will be worthwhile in the end.
Isaac Sanchez
Sorry for the length of this post, i was pretty heated when i started writing this post and wanted to vent like a generic female.
Isaiah Price
>wanted to vent like a generic female. I just learned a thing. If there is a wall of text on Jow Forums there must be femanon behind it.
First question... When he "cracks" and becomes sadistic, does he make jokes? or is he just unemotionally talking about things that are horrific and tragic. Or is he talking about killing an animal or lighting things on fire in a serious or literal way? because these are two entirely different things and very important to be accurate about and not misunderstand.
Second question... What do you want from him? what do you want in a relationship? what do you want in life what are your expectations about those things?
Yeah so... I'll give some more back ground. I have a tremendous amount of trauma in my past as well as direct psychological and some physical damage(nothing serious just some scars) from my childhood.
I'm willing to bet this guy hasn't had trauma as severe but still dealt with enough to mess with what to expect from the world plus being above average intelligence feels the need to understand overly complex and abstract ideas, like people and emotions. THAT'S NOT AN EASY THING TO DO. So he just internalizes.
These things aren't going to go away even if you make them "resurface" just take it easy if they do, but don't step down unless he really gets aggressive about telling you to stop.
as for creating a rift, i bet as long as you're nice, open, respectful and calm he'll forgive you as long as you . a rift is more likely to form by you getting/feeling rejected and you not being able to talk to him in the same way.
Also I could go into more detail about "getting him". I'm willing to be he's extremely open minded, talk to him about random things. i bet there is a lot of topics you'll be able to get him excited/talking about and if you like talking about them too he'll like you even more.
andddd this is extremely important.. be nice/polite, COURTEOUS AND RESPECTFUL that will take some figuring out but i strongly suggest doing that. ask his opinion about dating culture/relationship boundaries. should give some relevant information
Jaxson Evans
I meant to add... people like this are extremely rare. So just another reason to take pursuing it more seriously.
Ryder Murphy
Holy shit the only relevant piece of information was at the end
Christian Murphy
>he deconstructs it Well, yes, two spergos in a relationship is a terrible fucking idea. Yes. You should get out. These people are usually sociopaths.
Samuel Watson
Give up. You guys are not operating on the same wavelength, at least not to him
Parker Harris
What the fuck? Are all women on Jow Forums this autistic? Just ask the guy out, you stupid cunt.
Xavier Jones
Deconstruct his shithole He prob gay
Leo Thompson
Ask him on a date, it is a simple question by which you can gage his interest in you. If he rejects you it"s his loss, since you sound like a woman that has her shit together and knows what she wants. On the other hand it can give you closure and allows you to move on. Find someone else who reciprocates your feelings.
Good luck
Jordan Gutierrez
The way I read this is
>socially retarded because of life choices/reasons/etc >meets a guy who understands things very well, and can see both the subjective and objective points of view >latches on because he gives her attention in a time where she is devoid of it due to stresses of life >falls for him because of this >because of aforementioned understandings, he realizes you like/love him not for who or what he is, but because he's the first convenient outlet for your years of stunted love life >he probably explained what I am explaining in a more in-depth and easy to understand way
Basically, he probably feels like you like him only because he's the first one to give you want you wanted and craved for so many years. This is assuming he thinks like me, but someone like that will eventually cause problems later on in life if he were to date you seriously.
Andrew Ward
by all means ask him on a date op. but things are more complicated than just that and relationships can develop in more ways than one. and a part of life is getting what you want.
Matthew Powell
Yeah this guy sounds just like me when I was about 20, I was a drop out/shut in too. He'll probably be changing a lot in the next 5 years, since most people do in the first half of their 20s, and this specific style of analytical thinking is useful when you're a kid/teenager with little control over your life but starts to not be productive/needed when you're an adult making your own choices.
I think good general advice for anyone is to ask a prospective partner these questions (what their previous romantic and family relationships have been like) and depending on their answers you can gauge your compatibility to them. And frankly if you're not ready to discuss these things then you're not ready for a romantic relationship period.
Although to address this advice more directly I'm not sure being sexually aggressively without first being a couple is the way to go since for me personally when a girl I barely knew did shit like that with me as a younger man it'd make me so uncomfortable I'd have to make an excuse and run out the room and then avoid them after. And like you said, sometimes it can be trauma to blame for someone being emotionally repressed and the wrong kind of physical contact for that type of person can put them into fight or flight mode and he might just throw you off of him or something.
Justin Gutierrez
OP here I have to apologize for the silence, friends are being demanding atm
Robert Lee
The last time he "cracked" was about a month ago and heres the context: We had started talking about politics in the middle east, northern africa, and eventually southern africa, he was normal for the most part, but tone always changed when talking about how kids affect the politics of africa and the rest of the world, something like an egotistical chuckle but in a tone of voice if that makes any sense, it was very odd and kind of creepy. The time he seemed sadistic was one of his strange bouts of emotion i stumble apon, hes hella into music, specifically some of the saddest and most resonant stuff he can find, ive "walked in" on him singing these songs a little before, but one time i showed up at our spot (a little shack outside campus we moved a couple couches into and would usualy stay as the dorms are fairly unwilling to allow opasite sexes to mingle, he was sitting on the couch with his headphones on, absolutely covered in sweat and tears, with a massive grin on his face, looking up at nothing, shit was scary at first, but he calmed down once he noticed me, said he was "dealing with something" and left it at that, that whole day he was off and creepy, odd tones, odd changes of pace and topic, just odd and it creeped me out.
Noah Hall
How attractive are you on a scale of 1-10? be honest
Angel Jones
7 if i tryhard with my appearance, affectively a 6
Josiah Butler
a 6 eh? are you white, asian or what. You shouldn't be hung up on one guy.
There is plenty or other men to mingle with if you're moderately attractive.
Adam Jones
Half~ German Half~ American with a little mix
This is why im torn, i know logicaly that these feelings are likely fleeting and circumstantial but the feelings are very strong and encourage me to make rash and stupid decisions, honestly dont know how or expect anyone here to know how to help with these feelings but i guess its just blind hope that someone can explain this the same way he explains things, which makes me realize just how deep in this hole i am with him.
Julian Roberts
ROASTIE THINKS I'M READING THIS SHIT HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
Honestly, I was a stupid guy at your age and even when 10 years older. I kept looking for these girls with artistic, unique views and kept ending up with selfish girls or nutjobs. Took me a while to understand I needed a girl who is just a good person. The rest didn't matter since everyone is unique in their own way (but those who keep it better hidden are usually not self-centered, while those who advertise their uniqueness are self centered).
I think you find him interesting, even unique and very smart, but all I see is that he is self-centered and good at reading you (probably at reading other people too). Also conceited.
You need a guy who has it in him to take a bullet for you (if you deserve it, not right now since you don't want a doormat, either). Is Nier like that? If the answer is no, then my advice is to give up on him. If the answer is yes, then try for him again, he could open up.
Camden Foster
This is good advice, take it OP.
Gavin Thompson
I could say a bunch of mushy stuff, but im not gonna bore you, this is great advise and i will use it. Thank you guys.
Eli Carter
Nah, let that loser go.
Isaac Hill
op reading the last part of this turned me off. About that sweating and shit. i agree with you will really have problems later on. i advise you to drop it. But you are the one to make the choice op.
Jayden Richardson
post feet
Jack Bailey
you tell the guy you love him and he sits on his butt and anylizes why: >>he just aint that into you lifes like that sometimes...
John Reed
Lmfao, that guy is a massive intj autist, even more than i, possibly asexual. If you get him to love you it will be yours forever, but its incredibly hard to do that, for example, i dont even love my mother, you need to show him you are worth to the next level
Chase Ramirez
>confess feelings >breaks them down into ammunition and throws it at you like you're too stupid to understand why you like/love him >and then has psychotic breakdown
Never put anyone on a pedastool just expect them to reciprocate and treat you as the most precious thing in their world.
I'm going to say you file this under lessons learned and run, not walk away. This guy isn't as smart or benevolent as you he may be.
>Mother intentionally retarded child. >Child couldn't cope with real world. >Real world throws sexy but asshole guy at now retarded woman. >Woman goes to Jow Forums.
You remind me of a friend of mine cranked up to a million. I hope you have kids and treat them better (and integrate them into society more) than your mom did to you.
As for the man, give up. Find a better man. And find a better you too. Get some confidence.
Michael Murphy
Please try and tell me you could do better in my situation, many people (likely inducing you) are neets that have never and will never get anywhere and they didnt even have a shitty upbringing.
