After repeated failure in getting someone interested in me, I took the >self improvement path. 3 years I lifted like a madman, developed social skills, went out a lot and so on. Eventually I got a girlfriend, but I was dumped 3 months after, for a better looking guy. Got bullshitted about the breakup reason too: "oh it's not you user, it's a personal problem that doesn't permit me to have a relationship" 2 weeks later she makes out with the fucker in front of me. I got so fucking attached to this girl and did everything to be her best boyfriend, and got this shit as a reward. That was 2 years ago. Ever since then I'm still depressed about it. I try to find someone else and face continuous rejection. I want a way out of loneliness, but fail continuously. All that effort and the only thing that I achieved was to be more depressed than before.
Should I just say fuck it and play video games and fuck whores to fill the void? I feel like getting a gf is way too much work, and there is no guarantee I won't get screwed over again.
Yea, I like your solution. Just tweek it a little; play video games and fuck whores (and use them as practice) until you find someone worthwhile.
Blake Butler
You gave up after one?
It's like you never played a rogue-like. The next run will be better.
Owen Torres
One girlfriend but a shitload of rejection. I feel like absolute shit and can't take another rejection, and a girlfriend like the first even less.
Lincoln Brown
>can't take rejection Dating might not be for you. Sorry to say, man, but rejection is part of the game.
Levi Martin
Trust me I took so much that I lost count but it gets depressing when there is ONLY rejection
Asher Wright
You were with her for three months and 2 years later you still can't get over it? Would you consider yourself to be a sane person?
Hunter Jenkins
You say that like no other guys have endured and surpassed rejection. What the fuck was the point of all the things you did if you didn't improve a single goddam thing, and you're still just as coddled and expectant of life's handouts as ever?
The whole POINT of self-improvement is to give yourself something to appreciate and love, not to become some object people want. Did you miss the fucking memo about 'it's your personality that takes the cake'? So if you're on here bitching about how working out and improving didn't immediately score you chicks, maybe you didn't really improve that much after all. It's nice if you're good to look at but those guys are a dime a dozen. Girls-- and guys-- want someone who takes the pressure off and makes them feel at ease for being themselves. There's a very high chance your attitude puts pressure on early and makes people feel ill at ease.
Juan Peterson
The best part about constant rejection is your pick up lines can deteriorate with no negative effect consequence.
Ryan Ortiz
If by sanity you mean the level of sociopathy that girls are capable of, no.
Owen Young
>oh it's personality Well in that case nothing can be changed really. I only know how to be myself.
Lucas Collins
>immediate give-up Are you beginning to see why girls might not be attracted to you? Could the idea surface? I just don't understand. You're a complete milquetoast and yet you expect, somehow, that you should have a girl?
On which merits, pray do tell?
Jeremiah Perez
I love my personality exactly how it is now. I don't even think such a thing can be changed. How exactly?
Wyatt Hall
Also you are assuming quite some many things about me, based on literally nothing. I don't even need advice from someone with his head that much down his ass. You can fuck off and judge someone else, I dont give a shit. Milquetoast my ass. Fuck yourself.
Mason Cooper
Simple. Dial back on behaviors that typically generate a negative reaction. My immediate go-to is to use humour to defuse or reroute situations. Similarly, be ready to accept criticism and always be looking to learn and improve off of it.
Without knowing you I can't really help. For instance I have a buddy, he's got his heart on his sleeve and if he wants chicks he's got to tuck it up and tuck it in. It's not that it's even a bad thing, but if you work on mitigating risks in the dating scene, you're doing a little work now to save a lot of work later. It's not that adjusting certain aspects makes you 'not you,' it's just that without the adjustments it may come off as too extreme or such that you don't appear to have a concept of moderation or tact. I'd love to go in-depth to help you but all I can really tell about you so far is that you fold easily, you pass blame and you're absurdly focused on romancing a woman. Those should be painfully evident as to why they're not helping get a woman.
Isaac Martinez
The most important skill in life is judge of character. Don't fall into the meme hole of le everyone is like that, just get better at detecting shallow people. Although that's probably you right now and you're falling for the typical male pitfall of taking the first girl who'll say yes and being surprised when it doesn't work out.
Adam Ward
Hate to break the news to you junior, but life is a fucking struggle. And it's filled with fucking pain and disappointment and sadness. If you want to give up because shit gets hard, have at it. But that other guy is right: No one wants someone that lacks personal fortitude. And why would they? Would you want to be with someone that's just going to curl up into a ball the second things get rough?
Go get a life you enjoy and your chances of finding someone to enjoy it with will skyrocket. And if you never find someone, you'll still have a good life.
Ryan Myers
>I want a way out of loneliness,
And that's the issue. You don't act out of love, or even liking the other person. You just want to not be alone. That turns self-respecting people off.
Brayden Martinez
>someone that's just going to curl up in a ball the second things get rough So, women?
Isaiah Russell
>Hurr durrr look at me, I'm so clever and edgy for someone who hasn't finished puberty
Fuck out of here. If you want to sit around and talk about how shitty women are while ignoring your own glaring deficiencies as a human, there are plenty of other places for it. In the mean time, if you don't have anything original or constructive to add to the conversation, I suggest you return to jerking off to cartoons.
Christopher Taylor
Die
Adrian Evans
Look, dude, either you want to make a meaningful connection with someone or you don't. You can't simultaneously want a meaningful relationship with a woman but then take every single opportunity to insult and demean her. You need to pick a road here. You can't have love and your anger. They will never go together.
Lets cut the shit, alright? You're angry. You're hurt and you're angry and underneath all that hurt and anger you're just terrified that you won't find anyone who will love you. You're terrified of being alone. You look at yourself in the mirror and feel this intense, contradictory frustration. On the one hand you're crippled by the fear that you're not good enough and that you're not worthy of happiness and companionship and on the other hand you're incredibly angry and resentful of that weakness and want to tear anybody who doesn't think you're good enough in half because "fuck them, fuck everybody who doesn't love me and fuck you if you think I need you". You hate "women" because you hate your weakness for them. You hate us because we poke at that weakness. You insult and demean and tear women in half because deep inside that intense ball of rage you have you just have an uncontrollable urge to hurt other people before they can hurt you. After you hurt people and push them away before they can get too close and the momentary satisfaction goes away the pain of loneliness always comes back. Anger masks the loneliness for brief moments at a time but it always comes back . I fucking get it, okay? You. Need. Help. I don't blame you for where you ended up, OP, but it is your responsibility to find a way out of it. Do some real hard thinking, dude. You can either open yourself up to risk, get into some therapy and try to work through all of these emotions you're struggling with or you can keep your anger, white knuckle your way through the loneliness everyday and keep pretending like women are the source of your problem. Your choice.
Nathan Taylor
Haha, it's the guy from the "Why do men care so much about women being virgins?" thread. Still a dipshit, still unable to actually hold an argument.
Cooper Powell
Nope, I'd take anyone at this point.
David Barnes
He does have a point though. It's always men who are told to "man up" and improve x and y to get something, whereas a woman can be a 300 lbs hambeast and still get a husband.
Hudson Perry
I have really bad reactions to rejection and also low self esteem due to PTSD stemming from narcissistic abuse, and pretty much never really dated because of that. Dating really does make me quite literally sick.
And yet I've managed to have two long-term relationships. Classical dating is not the only way. Still, a heartless decision on the side of the woman (which I can't control at all) or moving for a job (which I can control, but not very much) might still destroy my ongoing LTR at a moments' notice. I've concluded I'll never have a family and might not try for a relationship again, if my current one fails - I can't trust anymore, and once married or with children I'm reduced to only worst case scenarios.
But it sure is nice to know I was able to have a LTR at some point - and might be able to have one again, if I wanted to.
Do fill your life with something else than women - people are fickle things, don't ever trust them to reliably fulfill your needs. Have needs you can fulfill yourself, treat women as an auxiliary aspect of your life. Don't necessarily choose vidya as the thing that you fill your life with.
Brody Cox
And that's the problem. You think your loneliness is the cause of your unhappiness, and not a symptom of it. You shouldn't just accept anyone, because that's only going to make you more miserable when it inevitably falls apart. You've got to realize being in a relationship is going to fix nothing in your life in the long run.
Christian Ramirez
There's a reason psychologists consider it a basic human need
Isaiah Bennett
>just say fuck it and play video games and fuck whores
That sounds awesome
Daniel Reed
>It's always men who are told to "man up" and improve x and y to get something, whereas a woman can be a 300 lbs hambeast and still get a husband. The world isn't fair. We are all animals. Whether or not a "300lb hambeast" has a husband or not is irrelevant to you and your life and what you need to do to succeed. It still doesn't make your own happiness any less of your responsibility. Bring up the fact that some other people achieve things easier than you do is only a distraction from the task at hand. Validating his anger is the opposite of helpful, user.
Ethan Rodriguez
If you got that attached to a girl after only 3 months you haven't completed the path of self improvement yet.
Jaxon Collins
Are you the faggot that lurks on here that argues that men need to have mandatory girlfriends because loneliness is a "basic need" like food?
Luis Morgan
That's, like, most of Jow Forums's sadposters.
Landon Martinez
That's nature and life. Females are the selectors and males are the selected. Better males get the better females. There are things in life you can't change, like being short or having a small dick. Instead of crying, accept the truth of the world and get to work.
Jackson Wright
No, there's a specific user who's made the claim it needs to be mandated in prisons several times and has made several threads on the matter.
Evan Butler
Again, I don't think this is as uncommon as you think it is. There's also Jordan Peterson running around now and we get people shilling him, and he believes in mandated marriage. It's not niche anymore, sadly. I wish it were and I wish it were just one guy but this is a legitimate ex-university professor who believes these things. Who believes that women literally deserve that little agency, that they should be married off by mandate.
It's pathetic, really; I never thought I'd live long enough to see a bona fide manchild over 40, and there it is.
Ayden Garcia
You want to know why? Because men are the ones bitching that they can't get a woman. You don't get to change everyone else. You get to change yourself and your circumstances. The solution isn't to expect other people to change so you can get what you want. That's the course taken by lazy idiots.
If you want to be miserable, keep comparing you life to someone else's. Life is not equal, or fair, and bitching about how much easier someone else has it doesn't fix anything. Some people have it easier than others, and always will. That fact does not change what you personally have to do to get what you want. Focus on that.
Also, your issue is with men like OP not women. They are the ones that keep the system running because they are so desperate they'll accept anything.
And for the record, I'd be saying the same shit to a woman.
Luke Campbell
Socialization and human interaction is a basic need, not having a girlfriend. Don't be dense.
Charles Peterson
as a girl i can say we're not worth it, troons and men are filling our roles better than we could just get some trap bf or something
John Brown
>I got so fucking attached to this girl and did everything to be her best boyfriend There's where you fucked up. Never put a woman on a pedestal. If you were more concerned with what you have going on in your own life instead of focusing on meeting someone else's needs a woman could see that and want to be included.
Angel Evans
Nah bro, continue all the self improvement and just fuck whores. If you meet a girl than w/e but don't make it the central focus of your life.
Why were you still chilling with your ex two weeks after she ended it though? And why did you care so much about being her best bf? You sound like a soft bitch who got rolled, so maybe assess some of those weak points.
Nolan Roberts
You're all kinds of retarded, bravo. Normal functioning people get relationships with far, far more ease than this user.
Gutter trash that can barely feed itself without getting injured and the morally bankrupt refuse that swarm for handouts but hide from work all find meaningful relationships as a simple matter of course. You can't honestly think that you need to be some self-actualized ubermensch to participate in an instinctual imperative that 99% of the human populace simply stumbles into.
I've been there, i really have. And for some reason it's always 3 months lol. I get the impression that you're bitter. I was not, i was just depressed. Depressed because i never thought i'd get another chance. Maybe a little bitter, but i nipped that one in the bud, and later i was just depressed. But it's not game over. And to tell you the truth, the attitude that you don't want to "work too much for a girl", is great, harvest it and use it. Be more selective of girls yourself. Believe me, i know what it's like... wanting to love and be loved by a girl, but it's a bit off putting early. I don't know if i'm able to hide it, or if women just have a sixth sense about that. You need to learn to leave the strong emotions for later. I'm not sure i'm able to implement that myself, but i'm trying. I too was deluded, i too wanted to be the best boyfriend i could possibly be, thought she was the one. But my next girl, the one who i lost my virginity to... was 10 times better, and i regret that we left it at a short fling, but hey, we wanted different things. Rejection hurts, but, think of it this way. Those girls will never know what they missed out on.
Cooper Rogers
No, incels are anything but nice. Incels are those who expect a 10/10 virgin gf to appear in their basement.
