Is it true than a man shouldn't get too emotional in front of a woman? My girlfriend thinks I bottle my emotions

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This is pretty sad, dude. When you have a partner, you shouldn't be forced to put on a performance for them. Sure, some of those emotions might not be attractive, but relationships aren't about being attracted to one another 24/7. They're also about supporting each other and being there for each other when the other is feeling down. My bf is easily more emotional than me and he isn't afraid to be sad in front of me because he knows that he's allowed to. But no, most men insist on keeping up this macho man illusion and then you wonder why men kill themselves more often than women.

If a man is crying every hour it's quite, just, well, unattractive, the same as when it comes to crybaby girls.

Showing emotions is good but being an emotional wreck 24/7 is plain unattractive. Like I do not mind or think less of my bf if he has a bad day and just want to cuddle and cry a little, but I don't think I could stand it if it happened daily

Godwinson?

you're bf is not a man. he is a little boy and you are his mummy.

Not her but he is a man, but she is his mummy

Women are more likely to attempt suicide. Men are more successful

look, different strokes for different folks. I'm a femanon and I'll give my own input though one i am most likely the exception and two i am bisexual, which probably disqualifies me.

I am so fucking exhausted of this hur dur muh masculinity shit. I don't do well with your average stereotypical ill needy clingy negative manchild, but that's not because it's a man, I think, it's because I'm not good at dealing with people like that in general.

At the same time though this whole men showing no emotion (or if you do, it's only in small appropriate amounts) and being a hardass is so unflattering and starting to get boring, downright sickening. Even worse when you can smell from a mile away it's all forced.

Being a brute cold toxic piece of shit isn't fucking attractive, at least to me. I've gone down that road and it's absolutely awful.
And I feel like most women who do enjoy that are the ones who are going to cuck you for Tyrone's bbc down the street later.

Stop having such a fragile masculinity good fucking god. Be a person first, a man later.

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Women always say they want men who are in touch with their emotions. Note that this is just a female psyops, because they will instantly start to think less of you if you start crying over how hard shit is at work or how much you miss your dad or whatever. They don't even understand it themselves, but the thing they think they want actually makes them resent you.

>Men can be fragile stop putting an act
>Wow you have a fragile masculinity

Stop being a hypocrite or fuck off

Wrong, we want you to be open about your emotions but it doesn't mean we want you to be a huge crybaby, at least where I live in. There is a difference between crying for some time about missing dad and preferring to have some piece and quiet and there is a difference about loudly crying 24/7 and wanting your gf/fiancée/wife to do everything for you because you feel bad. First one would make normal girl like you more as she sees you as a person that isn't ashamed of emotions, second one will make them feel awkward near you

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Nobody likes a crybaby, but that's for both genders.

But if I'm in a relationship with someone I expect him to show me his emotions. How can we truly understand and love each other if one of us is afraid to show how we feel?

It means the world to me when a man trusts me enough to tell me his problems or even cry in front of me.

i legitimately can't make sense of your post. what are you even saying?

yea because in their head, a man solves every problem, his own, the families, sometimes even a wider social circle without whining, because ya know hes a man, who fixes shit and that gives him confidence

you got cancer?
dont worry sweetheart we will fix it
workplace sucks?
dont worry honey i make enough
you did something retarded?
dont worry baby it doesnt matter, i fix it

if said man encounters this behaviour in any other setting than a gf/bf wife/husband he will kick the ass of the idiot or atleast tell them to fix their shit, and these dumb bitches tell us to be a person first, my ass

shes saying you can say you love her when she wants you to say it, and if you are handsome enough because if you dont say it, you obviously are holding back, the fucking ego of whores

I think men shouldn't get emotional.

A gamer girlfriend, for example, is all fun and games until you realise she's blown her mkney away on takeaways and hasn't left the house in a week.

That's true, that's really contradicting what I said, my bad.
Maybe the term I'm thinking of is toxic masculinity rather than fragile masculinity.
basically I think id rather be with a man that admits his fragility than one that completely lies, denies it and puts on a dick-waving act, affecting everyone else as well.

>mfw i am that gamer gf

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I'm saying that there is nothing wrong with being emotional but when a man or a woman is sobbing mess 24/7 for months it becomes a burden and drains down their partner as well

Lmao wtf? I get it, you hate women but at least pretend you tried to understand what I wrote kek

Yeah, but also I believe that both men and women should try to take care of themselves when they are feeling down, nothing wrong with asking for help but making your partner your psychiatrist and mum/dad at once won't make it better

The thing is men have to basically play a guessing game when it comes to exposing their emotions. They certainly can't make themselves as vulnerable as women. There just isn't room in any functioning relationship for both people to be whining about daily insignificant shit and have the other listen. So it's up to men to figure out just how much to bare of their feelings and it's far simpler and honestly preferable to just contain everything and not have to play that game.

>last reply
Couldn't agree more with you, holy fuck user. Now you said everything.
That's what I mean by the difference between an overly clingy needy ill manchild and a human being that has emotions and problems.

I agree. I feel like it's always or a girl being or a man being weak, if both are relationship won't survive, although I think that both pairs should try their best to care for themselves instead of pushing it all on the partner

Glad we agree on that

Yeah, I'm glad too.

Wanna fuck?

Nope I'm in relationship

I can actually identify the two of you as female by the worthless drivel you feel is necessary to post.

It's good to always check your intentions when you open up to your partner.

Are you doing it because you want attention or her to solve your problems, or have sorry sex with you? Don't do it.

Are you doing it because you think she needs to know and you don't expect anything in return? Then do it.

Depends on the women, if you're really closed off and break down in front of her in private then she might see the "soft part to you" and could get more attached,

if you tear up at pussy shit she'll probs think you'er a bussy

It's all in presentation. My second girlfriend back I would openly express my emotions without shame. I'd vent, complain, ask her to come over because I was down, etc. I would also drink a lot when I was feeling depressed. She really didn't like that. She told me during our breakup that I was whiny and unstable.

I usually depict my emotions in a very measured, restrained way now. I briefly explain why I'm frustrated and ask for a hug or something and then proceed to handle my problems. My previous and current girlfriends said they appreciated I expressed my emotions and it makes them feel like they support me while I control my own life.

Like at a recent wrestling show, I expressed that I was worried my match was gonna suck and then said "I'm just gonna have to try and pull it together". It did suck but it was enjoyable. My personal performance was good and I didn't let it ruin my night so she had fun. Contrast with my friend who was beating himself up over it and texting his girlfriend to hang out afterward because he was upset. Two girls in that car at the end of the night, only one was smiling

Based passionate British user

>yfw toxic femininity has made men unable to open up about their emotions without risking everything

isn't it the other way around? toxic masculinity that dictates you have to be stronk and hardass hero of the day?

Are you retarded?

Not really, since women despise weakness in a man and think less of him if he isn't a rock 24/7. A man MIGHT be allowed to shed a single tear at his dad's funeral, but she'll still make sure he doesn't show any other cracks in the wall the following weeks.

yes. sorry ;_;

what is toxic masculinity then?

I more often catch men criticising one another for "not acting like a man" than women not letting men cry

Mate you need to go see a therapist. Jesus Christ. Fucking mad Aussie cunt haha.

Yes, it's never a good idea to have a crying bitch fit. If you're close with her it's good to *moderately* open up but don't get too expressive when you do, just talk.

All women are evil so it's not worth it

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They key to "being emotional in front of a woman" is to be incredibly stoic 99.9% of the time and then let slip something that isn't at all emotional but something she will interpret as you "opening up" to her.

>One woman is evil hence every woman is

I guess every man is evil too looking at /b/ and Jow Forums

/b/ and Jow Forums are explicitly angry at women BECAUSE of women's' evil behaviour.

>girls don't fuck me because I'm a boring loser with 0 drive and no redeemable qualities whatsoever
>this makes them evil

>u-ur a virgin
Got anything else, roastbeef?

that's just one colorful example, if you'd actually been close to women in real life you'd know that they do some pretty mean spirited and fucked up shit that most men would not even consider doing

/b/ is literally horny men posting pictures of their gf they shouldn't share or videos they took when other person didn't see and didn't consent

Jow Forums is losers being mad at women because they are more successful and/or don't want to fuck them

>actually believing they're real gfs

>d-dumb virgins
Be less of a stereotype.

I spent whole life close to women and I saw just as many bad men as bad women, without really any side being bigger. The same as women could say "men are so awful, they just think about fucking us and once they dip they don't care about us and then call us sluts. Men hate us just because we don't want to fuck them but then they complain about other women being ugly gross etc etc. Men are awful because they take creepy pictures of us and post them on internet. Men are awful because once they see a nice YouTuber girl they will go to her channel and spam with such an awful stuff the person would stop uploading content for years or just delete their channel"

I don't care if they are real or not, it's men getting off to the fact that they imagine them being real, also there are creepy men who do that irl. Let's not forget about their obsession with children being fucked.

>d-dumb virgins
That's reaching, I never said anything like that. Are you saying that because you are one and feel like whole world is against you or are you saying that because you have nothing else to say but have your favourite "stereotype" insult and want to use it every time

>IMAGINING THINGS IS EVIL
Fucking hell. You're mental.

>u-ur a virgin
>again
Walking stereotype.

>Reaching so hard
You sure can't stand pressure of making a normal comment. It's a 18+ board and acting like teenager before being hit by real world doesn't make you sound cool

>u-ur a virgin!
>u-ur underage
zzzzzzzzzzzzzz

Cry more, maybe it would hide the fact that you are most likely both of them

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People on /b/ aren't real but nice try roastie

All women think that shit about all men. Instead of her telling you to stop bottling up your emotions, tell her to stop puking her emotions onto everyone else. Women just can't leave people alone.

I've always worked on the basis of showing people as much of whatever they want to see to get them to give me what I want from them.

Someone wants steady support? Stoic and constant it is.
I need to convince a female professor to give me more time for an assignment? Panic-edged voice, clear distress, general picture of "I'm sad and pathetic please give me time".
Same with male professor? Deferential, calm argumentation, "I know you have no reason to... And I fully accept responsibility for... But nevertheless, I ask... Because XYZ".

Showing everyone the same picture means some people will like it and give you what you want or need, but some won't. Figure out what you need to show people to get them to do what you want to do, and show them that.

I honestly can't remember ever showing people emotions or feelings beyond what I thought would lead to the best outcome for me. I've made mistakes, but it's pretty simple once you get the hang of it.

People fundamentally want to feel good. If they feel good they're vulnerable, they're more likely to give you what you want.
You can basically divide everyone into three groups, though obviously which group they're a part of varies moment by moment, depending on other circumstances. If you can recognize what it takes to make people feel what they want to feel, you can have them eating out of the palm of your hand.
> People who want to feel like they're saving someone
Show enough desperation to make them feel like a hero, not enough to make them feel like you're a weakling that won't be able to ever do anything in turn
> People who want to feel like they have power
Be deferential, make them feel strong, lead their thoughts to where it's their idea to make you happy
> People who want to feel protected
Show sympathy and strength. Be a pillar of strength to lean on, create dependency.

A person shouldn't get any more emotional than the person needs to to get what they want. Man or woman, audience, doesn't matter.

Don't know much about women, but in general, you don't want to overdo it.
On one hand, you don't want to bottle everything up, so you basically never need your partner.
However, you shouldn't open up about things all the time as they don't want to have all your negativity.

I used to live very close to my parents, so I could drop by whenever I wanted.
There was a while where I only dropped by when I was depressed over living alone and didn't have anyone to talk to.
One day, they had enough.
They told me to stop dumping all my problems on them and give them the impression that my life was so sad all the time.
It was a good wakeup call as I never needed to visit them when things went well, but I started to talk to them when things were going great so we could have a good time together.
Obviously, I can still tell them about my problems, but when it is all they heard, it was annoying.

I assume a romantic partner would feel the same way.

I would say in general it's a bad idea unless it's something incredibly significant like your mother dying. Otherwise what women say they want and what they actually want are two different things they're influenced way more by emotion and subconscious than men are.

There's a big difference between a man being open with his emotions and bawling his eyes out. The latter for any reason, is not a good idea in a healthy relationship

I used to think no, but now.....Yes. getting to be weepy and whatnot in front of a woman is generally not a good idea.

Well put. ALL women are messed up emotionally. They are looking to you for strength. If you pussy out and start weeping over everything, the will find it VERY unsettling.

I don't think it IS "putting on a performance", its trying to be strong, even though you just want to sort of pussy out and curl into a wee little ball of flannel and whiskers.....You have to be a bit strong or a woman is going to be disturbed.

I tend to cry when Im angry (dont ask why, I never yelled in front of my ex) and I can tell you definitively that while she may want you to be more emotional, as soon as it happens its unbecoming.
Out of all the times I shed tears I never once got a "good for you for showing emotions", more of a, "cant believe hes crying" kind of thing.

Bad idea. Don't fucking do this. Learn from my mistakes op.

This is why I keep platonic female friends, I can get the female comfort and not have anything to lose by breaking down emotionally on occassion.

The trick is to implode instead of explode, so you only die on the inside.

But what if I'm already dead inside?

Why do people act like it's the hardest thing in the world to be a rock. You literally just need to take a step back and chill out.

abosolutely this. If you couldn't handle seeing your own father break down in tears without being greatly disturbed and lose massive amounts of trust and respect in him then imagine how a woman feels seeing the man she relies on to be strong, controlled and comforting. As a boyfriend, husband, whatever you are the patriarch and a defacto father figure to her, any amount of emotional weakness shown will ruin your relationship.
I'm not saying you can't have emotional breakdowns but for god sake that's what your mother is for, not your fucking wife.

I unironically agree with you, the people shitting on you for saying this are doing it because they don't like the truth.