If you could do it all again what would you do? I want to better myself intellectually...

the only reasonable post itt
people care if you are good looking and have cash. nobody gives a fuck if you are some deeply philosophical virgin math wiz.

I would have ignored every single kid in school and just focused on studying anything I could get my hands on. It's not like the friends I managed to get made me happy anyway, so I might as well have gotten a head start on lifelong learning. As it is I didn't try early on in school because nobody ever told me that I could skip grades and get put into advanced classes if I did well enough, I just did well enough to pass and that was it. I was so upset when I found out that I could have left all of those faggots behind years ago.

As I meant, it's not just about what other people think. You will enjoy life more if you are fit, healthy, have friends and girls and money to pay for the drinks.
I'm doing my PhD in computational chemistry, have no social life, no GF and in an existential crisis right now. I'm planning to commit suicide tonight, but this may be because of my (unrelated?) mental illness.

F

Why would you kill yourself now when we are on the brink of a scientific, mathematical and philosophical revolution?

You might not see it yourself but the cages of theoretical "science" and base 10, set theory "mathematics" are deteriorating rapidly.

>SJW bullshit
it's sad that this has been your experience, probably the fault of your institution. real humanities are fucking metal and just as precious as math and science if you want to truly live a life of the mind. never forget newton didn't do 'science' he was a natural philosopher

damn user sounds grim. i feel for you. but it's always possible that might be right. just keep trying to think outside the box, maybe don't take things as seriously since you're already at this stage. go associate yourself with a music or drug culture or something if u don't want/can't do athletics. unless your an extreme case girls are actually easier to get when u stop caring and get suicidal. there's alot of grey area to play with right before death cause u are completely free. remember, boltzmann killed himself two months before he became a legend. good luck user.

i would do it all the same, but i want it back still.

do it.

>You will enjoy life more if you are fit, healthy, have friends and girls and money to pay for the drinks

All fixable things within 1 year. Truly not a reason to kill yourself. If a problem can't be fixed within 10 years then maybe kill yourself.

Dedicate my life to neuroscience. I would find what causes high intelligence, and then try to find a way to modify that thing. I hate how intelligence is fixed, I hate how someone can always best me no matter how hard I try.

>I'm not an idiot (about top 90%).

This is the best thing to say.

Thanks user, I put in the time. I started university at 30 years old, after I lived 7 (seven) years as a hikikomori (a recluse), and many years of psychotherapy, because I wanted to radically change my life. I became an eminent student, I started exercising, I even got a girlfriend for the first (and only) time (it lasted for five months). But it was too late. I don't like life. I never liked it. I can't stand people around me. I don't know why, it's not their fault but mine. At the same time, I feel life is not worth living alone. That's why I told OP to socialize, and socialize early, and just enjoy life while it lasts.
Thanks for the support everyone. My suicide is scheduled in two and a half hours. This is not my first attempt, but my first serious one. I won't change my mind, everything's planned for.

I will, my man, I will! :)

If by any chance this isn't a joke then good luck. Hopefully it'll be painless, seems like you've tried everything.

I'd start earlier learning math and science. Volunteer more in the community. Practice my guitar and saxophone more consistently.

It gets harder after you're out of school to find all the time you need. Doesn't help that I'm a lawyer I guess.

To all the underage b& kids - high school is a great time to dick around but you can make future you happier and have an easier life if you put in the effort.

>philosophy, languages and history are SJW bullshit
Poor americans

I hope this post isn't too late

I don't want you to go, user. It may not be someone else's fault that your life isn't what you want, but that doesn't mean its your fault either. Some things no one can be blamed for.

I hope you reconsider. Life has so many possibilities for change and forgiveness. I've watched a man who was stabbed 6 times shake his stabber's hand and forgive him. I've seen addicts get clean. We live in a world where almost anything can happen if you just stay open to life.

I love you user, no matter what. We're both people on this rock, and if you go I will still think about you.

>10 years as a hiki
>But it was too late. I don't like life. I never liked it. I can't stand people around me. I don't know why, it's not their fault but mine. At the same time, I feel life is not worth living alone
Oh user, I'm ending my life for these reason soon too.
RIP user.

Try reading some Eckhart Tolle

This is not a joke. Hanging is not painless, unfortunately, but it's the only sure way. But, it's temporary pain anyway.

I suggest you pick up something related to mathematics & statistics & finance (I can tell you what to look at in the math part).
You're doing computational chemistry so you should know something about math and you have work ethic so now think about the best way to make money.

It's not too late to have fun but you have to remember your goals even during bad days since it may take a while to fix your body and your portfolio.
Unironically listen to this: youtube.com/watch?v=91ygyvAXZ8U.
Skip the Bill Zanker parts.

Also fix your diet you need to cut any processed sugar and have a limited amount of carbohydrates.
reddit.com/r/keto/
reddit.com/r/zerocarb/
Have fatty meat cuts and have them rare.
You will be more clear headed, have a better skin. more energy throughout the day and your body fat will melt.

Get also some sun and have proper sleep in a consistent schedule.
This will greatly alleviate, if not cure, your depression.
You probably are also malnourished since you can't afford drinks so your brain is not working as it should.

The Power of Now (Tolle) is a legit book.
It teaches you mindfulness and how to take care of bad feelings.

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Also don't jerk off.
You will be more social with women and with people in general.

Not him but I am somewhat similar to the guy talking about killing himself (at an earlier stage I guess) in that I'm a late 20s loser with basically no accomplishments to his name, who is interested in studying applied math/stats. Just wondering if you think this is a good career path to just get started in at the moment. I ask because big data meme has been here for some years already and there is a lot of demand for people with such skills, but I'm not really sure how it will look in 5-6 years and further in the future. Would appreciate your opinion

I would try hard in school. Like, insane. I had a potential which was ruined by me being retarded and parents who constantly pressured me into olympiad because I shown impressive results. Now I barely scrape C and want to kill myself.

Enlist. Being in a sub, or any ship would be massively better than where I was, and it would get me to better places than were I am now.

I wonder how could I improve if I am sort of retarded. If you are in top 10%, I am in bottom 10% then.

I would have gotten that ADHD diagnosis earlier

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Useful idiot detected. There's a reason why totalitarian regimes heavily suppress or censor the humanities every time they take hold.

I'm in my late 20s as well; I'm a NEET with a good STEM degree but I don't want to wage-slave.
My book picks may be different from yours since I'm a bit more experienced in mathematics.

It may be very difficult at first to learn it so I suggest you start with some good but easy books.
Your brain will change along the way, you won't have to "learn proofs" you will pick naturally what needed.

Some books you might use:
[You can download them from LibGen when it is up again]

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[1] Basic Mathematics (Serge Lang) has been suggested here many times. There's bound to be exercises so do them.
[2] Undergraduate Algebra (Serge Lang); you could use this after you're done with Basic Mathematics.
You're already required to figure out things yourself here so take your time to reflect on those parts.
[?] Some book on linear algebra. You could first check Linear Algebra (Lang). It's easy but I don't like it much.
The Linear Algebra a Beginning Graduate Student Ought to Know (Jonathan Golan) is well made but more difficult.
[3] Naive Set Theory (Paul Halmos). Use this to get familiar with sets.
[4] Mathematical Logic (Donald Monk).
This might be overkill but you do need some logic.
I'll leave it here as a reference because it's a well made, fast "Logic for mathematicians" book.
[5] Measure Theory (Paul Halmos). This is a great book but you should to learn Analysis first.
[6] Probability and Measure (Patrick Billingsley). I'll look at this when I'm done with Halmos.
[?] Analysis.
Once you're done with something easy go through Principles of Mathematical Analysis (Walter Rudin).
The book is not made to learn Analysis for the first time but you need a good reference.
[7] Topology (James Munkres).
If you ever plan to get into Functional Analysis please have a look at this book first, it will make everything easier.

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This is the part about mathematics.
You want to know to program as well but I can't help here; any language would do first so look at C++ & JavaScript.
They'll both help for learning to program & employment; you can pick whatever else needed later on.

Can't say about economics, finance and whatever.
I'm not there yet but I have my own plans.
If you learn mathematics (math skills never get old) you'll have the basics for learning anything else.

Another thing is that once understood or solved I rehearse both exercises and theorems.
You'll have to work for hours every day but don't rush or you'll only get frustrated, you'll get to a point where you are mature and independent.
Also enjoy the ride.

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Thanks m8 I appreciate it

except its not anime and you wont break any barriers
mentally you cant improve much, physically it gets into diminishing returns zone quickly, unless you want to be olympic athlete or ibbf bodybuilder its better to just do moderate

wow that sucks ass

>mentally you cant improve much
False.
>physically it gets into diminishing returns zone quickly
R-tard.
In what fucking mental prison are you trapped you mong.

maybe go to gym/do cardio for more than 2 years and youll notice your limits

about mental performance i wasnt specific - you cant improve your intelligence but you can acquire skills and knowledge

so do your cardio and strength training - itll slow down mental decline but dont bother with "iq boosting puzzles"
also never stop learning

>maybe go to gym/do cardio for more than 2 years and youll notice your limits
I've played football (soccer) for half my life.
I am fit and aesthetic I don't need to become a bodybuilder or a marathoner.
What do I care about my biological limits.
>about mental performance i wasnt specific - you cant improve your intelligence but you can acquire skills and knowledge
This is debatable.
If you improve diet, physical condition, sleep, etc... you are more clear headed and score better in any test.
If you train your focus you score better.
If you do a lot of mathematics you shape your brain into solving problems.
How is this not becoming smarter.

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Shoot up school before I'm old enough to be held legally accountable for it

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I would probably take better care of my health.
I thought I had to reinvent the wheel, but it turns out my parents gave me a perfect upbringing.

It is the most obvious thing to cut out without losing anything.
Eg learning about how systems work so you can build better systems is much more valuable than spending a decade just to learn Hitler is dead.
Humanities is a waste of time and people justify it by saying "we need to preserve the arts" or "we need to think about ethics" but in reality, you can do those things without a meme degree and also build new systems that actually make the world better.

first of all, i wouldn’t waste almost 4 years being a dumbass neet shut in and wasting my parents’ money on a literature degree when i never wanted to be a teacher or a translator in the first place
i would try to get into business/economics in the only university in my country which allows to earn some money and get out of my godforsaken euro country
i would read more books even though i already read quite a lot back in hs
i would try and establish meaningful relationships instead of hanging out with junkie idiots because i didn’t wanna be alone and thought i was too ~weird~ to befriend anyone resembling a normie
i wouldn’t attend art school knowing damn well i’m shit at art and have no creativity, i would instead attend an hs which is coherent to what i’m good at, aka stem stuff and languages
i wouldn’t spend so much time on shit websites like tumblr and facebook
i wouldn’t waste time doing internet scams when i could just get a degree as quick as possible and get a decent paying job
i would get my driver’s license early
i think that’s it.

I would definitely start dating and having sex earlier and more often I would have been even more successful with women than I am now and it would have gotten me over some of the hurdles of dealing with breakups and rejection faster where I'm still dealing with those later in life because I started later.

The best thing you can do with your life is to improve the lives of others

I'd get better at selling. Persuasion is the ultimate ability. Even spending 10% of my time on it 10 years ago would have paid serious dividends.

id finish law school, thats pretty much it

> "top" 90%
>not an idiot

Ok buddy.

Handle bullying a lot better. Be more honest with people.