Why, as a man, might others consider you to be defective if you do not have casual sex with women? Why is this the mark of being a man? One would think that being able to control ones urges and desires so that they are not in control of you would be the mark of something "other than" man. Something Greater.
What are your thoughts, Jow Forums?
I think you're stupid.
>Why, as a man, might others consider you to be defective if you do not have casual sex with women?
Only degenerates would think that.
>Why is this the mark of being a man?
It isn't.
I don’t think anyone besides 16 year old boys measure the worth of a person this way. Our bodies are designed so that yeah it feels good to spread our seed around but it also feels good to shit doesn’t mean acting out those urges constantly is something admirable it just is.
What's your story user? Women problems ?
>Why is this the mark of being a man?
Maybe because it's what most men naturally desire? Unless you're gay of course.
>control ones urges and desires so that they are not in control of you
What has this got to do with having casual sex?
>Something Greater.
Get over yourself.
Yeah I've had my share of problems with women along with some experiences i had as a child that might inform my views. I'm well aware of my (for lack of a better phrase) "desires of the flesh" and or my fears and insecurities of being intimate and of rejection. Regardless of that, I do take pride in my being able to control and keep those desires in line. I'm not hungry, i am not desperate, and i think others see this as being outside the norm. Something which they do not understand or are unable or unwilling to do themselves.
See, this, i take to be the underlying thought process behind anyone that is confronted by such a situation. There is no nuance. Its either one thing or another. You're either in or you're out and thus "less than". Thats how i perceive these comments.
>Maybe because it's what most men naturally desire?
Most men do not desire casual sex.
>What has this got to do with having casual sex?
It helps prevent casual sex.
As an aside, i should mention that i have successfully been able to cut out both pornography from my life and masturbation (to a large, large extent).
humans are social creatures
humans strive on social acceptance
sex is the highest form of acceptance as one is the most voulnerable during it
lot of sex = many other humans are willing to accept you at the highest level
get off your high horse and see people as they are
>want nonexclusive sex and to bounce between partners
>want dick in ass with no regard for women
Are those really the only two options?
>Most men do not desire casual sex.
You got statistics for that? I'm pretty sure the vast majority of straight men, who have no genuine reason not to, would fuck an attractive woman if they were given the opportunity to do so.
>It helps prevent casual sex.
You still haven't said why you would want to prevent casual sex? Protect yourself from disease, pregnancy risks, fear of being told your dick is too small etc.
I did the same because I believe porn gave me ED which is obviously a real problem. You're not giving a reason why casual sex is a problem.
It’s not that casual sex in and of itself is a problem it’s that if you’re not consumed by the single minded pursuit of it you are unmanly in the eyes of some.
Maybe you should have been more clear in your OP then.
I never thought of it as a problem per se. It just seems, from the outside, shallow. Why should i chase after that which is ephemeral? I hear of the immense confidence boost it gives to one but i question its legitimacy? Is it merely illusory? Does this mean that men who are either unattractive, undesireable, handicapped, or have any other number of things working against them in this domain are cast out from the kingdom of "men"? From where does their self-worth come from?
I’m not op chill
I don’t see anywhere in the op he says casual sex is wrong. The first line of his post is like why do men look down on men who don’t have casual sex, did you even read that shit?
It's part of your animal instinct, call it shallow if you want but we are what we are. It certainly shouldn't control your life.
Some of the best things in life are ephemeral.
I could see your point and where you're coming from. Thanks for the input.
Reed between the lines, my man. The second line is also part of his first post.
But also remember that while we're animal, we're also something other than.
>From where does their self-worth come from?
Wealth, knowledge and many other things. Thankfully there's more to life than being attractive/having sex etc.
I'll kill you.
He still doesn’t say it’s wrong just that he’s confused why willpower isn’t more admirable, doesn’t really matter either way though.
The best i could find right now is pic related. Note how even among most promiscuous people, there is a concept of being too promiscuous. In most societies promiscuity is regarded negatively.
>You still haven't said why you would want to prevent casual sex?
Many reasons, a belief that it is bad for the individuals participating in it, and religious reasons being some of them.
Very interesting. Thank you for this chart.
yes you understand my point
You're welcome.
Beyond religion or ethics just seems like the sex wouldn’t be as good like long term. Fumbling around in the sheets only doing stuff you know 99% of the population likes vs. playing out your fantasies with your significant other who knows your inner workings and desire. It’s like why is blowing money on single candies better than saving up to open a candy store. I know that most of this is rooted in biology, advertising, and social conditioning but it’s still interesting to think about.
I think the fact that most people assume that all men are on board with this or agree with it as a benchmark of masculinity is actual a little sexist.
>and religious reasons being some of them.
Boing! Opinions discarded.
I don't think the chart really helps your argument.
>In most societies promiscuity is regarded negatively.
Maybe if it's a very conservative society and definitely much more so if you're female. However we are not female and it's our natural desire to spread our seed far and wide. Nobody has to know about your promiscuity anyway. Just because you chase the pussy doesn't mean you're going to get it all the time either. etc. etc.
>Fumbling around in the sheets only doing stuff you know 99% of the population likes
Just how many casual sexual experiences have you had? Or are you just imagining that this is how it works?
Don’t cut up every word like I’m prepping these statements and thinking seriously about my wording, I think you get what I mean though. Are you honestly telling me someone with a guro fetish or rape fantasy will get to play that out with a girl they picked up from a bar and only met three hours ago? Sure, maybe they’d get lucky and the girl would be into it but what are the odds of that?
>Don’t cut up every word
I'll do what I like, m8.
>what are the odds of that?
What are the odds of a guy having that fetish in the first place? The majority just want to slap some tits around and get their dick wet until they pop.
You're not defective if you DONT have sex with casual women, but there's a problem if you CANT have casual sex with women, because we all have the same biological urges.
You don’t think people get better at pleasing someone the more they fuck that person?
Not OP, but specify exactly what you mean by "CAN'T".
Can't get it or can't do it? Because I've been offered it multiple times so I can "get it"; yet I can't and won't do it for moral reasons.
Obviously there's no problem here imo. Just wondering if *you* think this is a problem.
>we all have the same biological urges
Yeah, no. I don't.
Usually the answer is probably yes but that really depends on the people involved. Whether or not they want or are willing to learn, experiment, put effort in, actually communicate their likes and dislikes etc. They might also just be not very compatible sexually in which case it's not going to improve no matter how much they fuck.
But if your goal is pleasing a woman then I would still say casual sex will help with that in the long run since you'll probably learn a little from each short term partner. Both in regards to what pleases them and what pleases you.
>Yeah, no. I don't.
U gay
or just low on test
OP is a fucking fedora. Men love fucking lots of women.
Due to religion I'm remaining celibate until marriage. That's not a problem. Not having casual sex is completely fine. If you try to but can't you might want to get your testosterone levels tested
>depends on the people involved
How is that a valid answer now but not before when I brought up fetishes
So normally people constantly feel the urge to fuck?
This must be hell for you.
Got lucky out on test lottery.
Sorry you didn't make it.
Because you're a sick freak.
Not constantly. But unless there's something wrong with you, you should generally be 'up for it.'
>Sorry you didn't make it.
Nice try, homo.
Always "up for it" sure.
Only with my wife though, that's the key part.
The discussion isn't really about people who are happily married, thanks for the contribution though.
18 yrs old, just graduated HS and still a virgin. Don't really care about being a virgin, but more about the complete lack of experience regarding romance and women. Right now, I'm trying to keep in touch with this junior girl, and I can't get a read on her. We're friends, but we text somewhat often. Her friends are envious of this, especially because she doesn't respond to their texts but she responds to mine. What does this mean? She also has absolutely no experience either. She couldn't even fathom that a guy would be into her at this point in her life. What should I do? I honestly like her.
Then honestly tell her
This.
You guys over think and complicate things way too much.
I have, but she said that she wants to he focused on her education, citing her parents as the main reason. I should've mentioned this earlier. Anyhow, when she comes back from her vacation, I plan to organize some sort of hangout with her and her friends, so as to no creep her out. I'm willing to wait until she graduates to ask again, but if she shows that she does want to date, then I'll make my move sooner.
I have a friend that has had sex 20+ times.
He's not exactly very popular, he's ruined plenty friendships and is not exactly seen very well in our group.
To the point where he told me he feels unwanted and no one really cares about him and that a lot of people in his life are trying to get rid of him.
If so many people are able to "accept him at the highest level" how come things are how they are? Not trying to start an argument here, just curious what people think.
Nobody thinks this except high schoolers. Fucking graduate before you spout dumb shit.
As a guy who more or less chose to not date, I have gotten a lot of weird comments.
Not all were negative.
Mostly, I get negative comments from women.