My fiancee is molesting me

So I thought I might use some male point of view on this one.

We're together for 6 years. Everything's fine, occasionaly he has problems with being honest which I do not have (in my opinion if honest reply would make you leave me, we're better off single. In his - you might dump me if I tell you the truth, so I'll try to hide it). We were talking about it for the last couple of years and I finally believed we agreed on my point of view - the only rule was we can tell each other everything and the other person will appreciate it and try to understand it.

So 6 months ago my partner announced he has something important to tell me. He was touching me when I'm asleep, sometimes just grabbing my boobs, sometimes even inserting fingers in me. I was horrified, but taking into account what I've written before, I basically told him something along the lines "well I'm glad you told me. It's disturbing and I feel violated, please don't do this again, and if you feel you have to, just tell me and we'll figure something out, maybe see the therapist or something".

We do have sex on regular basis, his explanation for this kind of behavior was "I was curious if you'll wake up", "I just felt the need", and so on.

So fast forward few months. It happened again, 3 or 4 times, maybe more. He didn't tell me- I woke up each time, so I assume it could've been more often. I just don't know what to do. Funny enough, I do mind not having control over my body and what's inside it when I'm asleep, but what hurts me the most is that he repeatedly promised not to do this again, and yet I still wake up to him fingering me or touching me. I'm exhausted. We have a good relationship. I truly believed this is the one for me. But he refuses to respect my boundaries, and what's more, every time he cries and promises to change, and it ends with him doing the same thing over and over again.

I so don't want to break up... But I also don't want to be molested for the rest of my life. What should I do?

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break up
he isn't going to change anytime soon and chances are it'll just get worse
I touch my wife's boobies at night too, but she doesn't mind and I don't do anything else

Talk about making something of nothing. Oh no, a man you're married to touched you.
Did you ever consider he was just as sleep-ridden while doing it? I bet not.

Look, honey. This is not molestation. Molestation is traumatizing and does not just arbitrarily stop at your comfort zone and very often leaves damages.
If you're gonna paint your fucking LOVER red with rape, then just divorce him and be single. A vibrator is what you want, not a husband-- something you turn on, and then turn off when you're done.
But who knows, you're a female, maybe whitey mcknighty will jump to your defense here.

I fondle my wife all the time when she's asleep and she knows it. It's usually in an effort to wake her up for sex, but if she doesn't wake up, I stop. I'm not going to wake her from a hard sleep at 2am for sex. She's also ok with me playing with her ass and her legs and feet while she's asleep, and sometimes I jack off while I do it. Usually we have sex though and none of that happens.

The finger insertion is too much, and he needs to stop that. Would you be ok with him touching your boobs? Or no?

Don't you know that the feminists have declared LITERALLY ALL MALE BEHAVIOR to be outright rape?

Look at a woman? RAPE
Brush past a woman in the store? RAPE
Say hello to a woman? RAPE

I'm not disagreeing that if there's a boundary he shouldn't cross it but calling that crossing molestation is making him out to be a fucking criminal. He probably just has a high libido, and you know what it fucking sucks, because an adult understands that their partner isn't always up for it.
But calling him a molestor is chalking him up to a lot of damage and trauma that never happened.

Well if he asked me if he can touch my boobs while I'm asleep, that's totally different than just inserting fingers in me while I'm unconscious while knowing I don't want it.
I really don't want to break up... But I just don't know what to do.

He's not sleep-ridden. The last time I asked him what he was doing while he was undressing me, and he immediately pulled his hands away and told me "nothing, you're dreaming". He knows EXACTLY what he's doing and he's careful I don't wake up.

It is traumatizing for me. Maybe not as much as it would be with stranger, but the thought that someone is using my body when I'm most vulnerable is horryfing, and I developed anxiety because of it, I need to sleep alone, in locked room, otherwise I'd wake up every half an hour or so, terrified someone's touching me. I want to feel safe with my fiancee, but I just can't, because he's unable to stop this.

I don't know, the general idea of touching my boobs when I'm asleep seems pretty harmless I guess. But in more intimate kind of way, if he was going to get aroused by that, and try other things and come on me without me being aware of it, that's crossing the line for me.

So what then do you call unwanted sexual contact? Are you a retarded person? This is molestation plain and simple; granted it isn't as severe as it could be considering they're in a relationship but fuck, don't put your fingers in a pussy that doesn't want you there.

By this logic I could hold down and fuck my girlfriend against her will and not call it rape because I love her.

And one more thing, because I think some of you are not getting the gist of it. He's touching me, ok, I told him to stop, repeatedly. That's when molesting for me begins. I told him 4 or 5 times - please don't put things in me when I'm asleep. How that's not molesting if he is still doing this?

If he's got a sleep fetish, that's one you're not going to really be able to do anything about.

If he's waking up horny in the middle of the night, consider having lighter dinners and having more time between dinner and bed. Unexcreted shit can press up on a prostate in the middle of the night.

Or if his libido is just that high, consider trying to exhaust it more during the day so you can get some uninterrupted sleep.

>do everything except place responsibility on the person crossing the line

Like the whole thing is on you, honey, you're the one who doesn't want your fiance (sic, BTW) groping. I get it, you're uncomfortable, but this is not molestor territory. Do not make it out to be, it is not.
Honestly, do you even like your fiance? To be this disturbed by him finding you sexually enticing-- what the fuck, man?
Like I said, you want a vibrator-- and, apparently, a gay best friend. I get it, I truly do, I have to stop these exact same sessions for a multitude of reasons.

But I think I'd straight crap myself if my lover thought so lowly of me, that me touching her sexually was molesting. I think that would crush me.

I don't know where you're getting this from. I like him touching me and fucking me, BUT when I'm aware what's going on. I just want the peace of mind of being able to relax next to my finacee without him putting things in me when I can't consent to it. I don't know how can you say that touching someone without their consent and knowledge is not molesting, regardless of who they are to you.

>do everything except place responsibility on the person crossing the line
>I so don't want to break up...
Working within the bounds of the OP. If leaving were on the table, I'd have bothered mentioning it.

People are being shitty, if what he is doing is something you haven’t consented to: it is molestation, by definition.

That said. I am not sure why you don’t want to consent to it, but it isn’t any of my business. If he can’t help but do it, he likely either a) doesn’t understand your reasoning for not consenting to it, and you should talk to him about it. Failing that, if this is a deal breaker for you, it is time to move on. It won’t change. B) he might have a legitimage fetish, not just something he is into, but an actual compullsion. If that’s the case, it could be helped with therapy, assuming that he acknowledged it as a problem. But failing that, it won’t help either, and it is time to move on.

Take a "nap" during the day where he's free to do whatever and make nights off limits on the basis of you both needing to be awake in the mornings.

All I'm saying is after six years and a fucking ring, if him touching her bothers her this much I think she doesn't actually really want the relationship.
This exact occurrence is retardedly common and, for most people, having been together for as long a time as 6 years is usually consent enough for some good times rolling. In my relationship the rule is: no waking up before obligations. Otherwise, if neither of us (or the initiating party) is obligated, it's free game; the fact that we've been sexually engaged for six years is all the consent we need.

Like I said, this sounds like OP isn't actually that into her boy. The way she talks about their sexual contact makes her sound more like the asexual sort.

go away, feminist

sorry, but that's just not molestation
Also why would that bother you in the first place, sounds hot as fuck, and every girl I've been with said they'd like it if I did that to them.
If it really bothers you (as in: won't be able to live with it for the next 10+ years), you should break up and find someone who's not into that sort of thing

If you want a logical out, just tell him not to stick anything in you when you're asleep because chances are you'll get a UTI.

But honestly, if he's such a big baby, you need to get your shit in order and find someone who is able to rationalize their own issues and act like an adult.

>giving advice without properly comprehending the situation

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Problem is what you think has fuck all to do with the situation; he's touching her when she doesn't want it. Might've been a simple misunderstanding at first but it's well past that; she's asked him to stop and still he continues. Nigger needs to control himself. "Hurr durr I love you so so much I put my fingers in your pussy even though you've asked me to stop" is childish and creepy.

Seriously
Dude should be euthanized.

Let me paraphrase this: it sounds like the issue runs far deeper and has gone untreated for far longer.
That's just the outside. You're the one clamming up about your six-years partner touching you in your sleep.
My partner of near seven years loves being sexually involved, as do I. We figured, you know, that was inherent to the relationship.
Yes, I have clinical anxiety, diagnosis and all. No, my partner touching me in my sleep does not start my anxiety up. She's my fucking life partner, of course she can touch me.

>clear sexual boundaries are a sign of a failing relationship
>my relationship is just like yours
>I'm okay with it; you should be too

Holy shit, everybody here is fucking retarded.

No way you'd be "traumatized" as you put it by this if you didn't have some issue with him or with yourself already. I don't know what it is, sounds like lack of trust, but could be a number of things. Try to figure out WHY it is that you feel so violated by this. Because most people wouldn't feel that way. They'd be at most a little creeped out.

And then he should figure out WHY he feels like doing this after you specifically told him it disturbs you. Nothing else you can do regarding this other than expressing just how horrified you are by it and try to figure out what are the causes and what can be done about it (and maybe getting couple counseling, sure, but don't put too much faith into it, it's up to you to fix your issues after all).

I guess I kind of understand wanting a male perspective, but what on earth possessed you to come here? You’re not going to find any rational advice here. Everyone on here is a damaged piece of shit who is going to find some way to twist this situation to make you look like a feminist harpy for wanting bodily autonomy. Take your partner to therapy and get some advice from someone who actually knows what they’re talking about. If he refuses to go to therapy with you, then definitely break up with him.

Taking /d/ to therapy isn't going to change much. Best bet is to change the time sleep-fucker goes to work to a consented one.

kys if you cant be a bit considerate.
OUT OF THIS BOARD AND NEVER RETURN.
he is not just touching her but also FINGERING her in her sleep.
if you vrigin gayboys havent had a bit of a brain then you wouldnt have had trouble to imagine how sensitive reproductive parts of women are. moreover, he puts it inside her. he puts it somewhere that doesnt sense anything other than the opposite walls of itself. so it must be even more sensitive to foreign objects.
how can you idiots be so brainless.

I can't think of any reason for your partner touching you causing anxiety than unanswered problems.
But I'm glad insults are your sole contribution, it's good to know you're as one-trick a pony as ever.

You're right I guess ;) Im kind of shocked by all the accusations of how I don't desire my fiancee (i do... while I'm awake), and how the problem is in me.

Maybe I wasn't clear enough about the whole thing. Him touching me when I'm asleep - pretty creepy and I'd like to postpone it for moments when I'm actually conscious, but what really bothers me is him refusing to stop when I told him I don't like it and all the lies and pretending it's not happening anymore when it clearly is.

Anyways, I think therapy is a good call, we'll begin with that, if this won't help I guess I know the answer, unfortunately. Thank you all for your input, I'm sorry I wasn't able to answer each one of you, but I read all the responses and I'm really greatful to you for taking the time to advise me.

>I'm too retarded to comprehend sexual boundaries
>PROBLEM WITH YOUR RELATIONSHIP
>sexual contact=touching
So you're saying you'd be fine with your partner doing literally whatever she wants to you sexually because otherwise there's a problem in your relationship?

And i forgot to make the most important point here: contact in the vagina certainly wakes any woman up. He does it while she SLEEPS thats why its even more unbearable, if it disturbs her too much it can ruin her sleep. and as she has already stated she has already been traumatised.
For op: i think he has sleep fetish, he will keep molesting you till you either consent him at which point it wont remain molestation, make him stop by some means or relieve him from his fetish. i dont know howsomeone can be relieved by fetishes but since it is a concerning matter i would recommend you to go to therapists.
if there's no way to change him you'll either have to cope with it or separate yourself from him.

>"What do you mean you won't shove this fist sized dildo up your ass while I burn you with lighters, rip out your hair, and shock you with a car battery all while this dude watches? D-don't you l-love meeeeee?"

>all the lies and pretending it's not happening anymore when it clearly is.
it might not be as you stated, he might not be able to control himself and thats why he must be doing all that. trust me, i know how it is to not have enough control. i sometimes do things unknowingly and regret it or even do it knowingly and still regret it.
you must act as you should but you shouldnt comprehend the situation as it shouldnt. perhaps he doesnt want to harm your feelings but unable to satisfy himself and hold his urges.

>comprehend the situation as it shouldnt.
i mean "as it isnt".

That's pretty bad. But harmless touching isn't.

he is FINGERING her. and it does harm her as it wakes her up in her sleep. moreover learn about consent.

Any breech of consent is bad; just exaggerating a bit for all the degenerates in here seeing as how you probably like to wake up with your girl's fingers in your asshole

Omfg hes not the One !!! Breakup !
What is he going to do next If he cant stop himself ?

Let me stick a finger in your butt everytime you're asleep you psycho !

>harms her
Let's not lie. She hasn't noticed for months and has only woken up a few times because it doesn't harm her and then you tried to compare it to cigarette burns and ripping people's hair out which causes pain and scarring. Truth be told the reason she doesn't like it is because she doesn't love and respect her man. Makes sense because she said he's a crybaby. I've never had a problem introducing a fetish to any of my girlfriends because they love me too much to say no.

You guys've been together for 6 years so normally I'd advise against breaking up on the spot ...

This situation could be tough to handle though. He's not touching himself, only touching you, so his behaviour is probably not a result of being sexually frustrated. Rather it seems like it is his fetish to touch unconsious women inapropriately, or in this case, you.

Fetishes are really difficult to work through though. Most of the times there's a deep seated complex and many different life experiences that accumulated to form it. Even if he went to see a shrink it's unlikely that he'd ever get rid of it, in the best case he'd learn to supress his desires but thats also not a very stable long term plan ...

The problem might actually be that you guys dont belong togehter, as tough as it sounds. He has a very strong fetish that you apparently cannot satisfy without suffering. Not a very good basis for a relationship.
I guess him being dishonest all this time actually got you involved in this dead end relationship way longer than it should have.

It might sound harsh but breaking up is probably the best course for both of you. Otherwise you're just gonna grow frustrated with each other and start despising one another. He cannot void his desire to touch you while you're unconscious and you cannot accept being touched like this while you're not in control. There's men out there who don't behave like that. There's women out there who dont mind being touched like that in their sleep. Go find someone who you can trust. And he should go find someone who can satisfy his desires.

So here's the worthless opinion of some random asshole on the internet. Do whatever you want with it.

Anyone here know what an operative definition is?
Rape-molestation-fondling-groping- or "Happy Sunshine Candy Pokes", doesn't matter. The operative goal has been established by OP: unwanted contact.

OP, don't be offended, but I will just refer to it as groping, consensual or not, and leave it at that.

I myself do not really have a fetish. At least to my (you guessed it) operative definition. But, I am supportive of any fetishes my partners may have. For example: feet. I am not turned on by, nor am I repulsed by them. But I had an ex that REALLY loved having her feet... well, I will say played with. You probably don't want to hear it...
But I indulged her fetish, regularly, because she loved it and that made me happy.

But, there is some shit [sic] that I just won't do. I don't care if a 25 year old Monica Bellucci fell in love with me, wanted to make me the happiest man in the world and had everything in common with me. If she only got off by choking puppies while chewing with her mouth open, it would be a deal breaker. Its a crazy example, I know, but it's useful for the scenario.
THERE IS SOME SHIT PEOPLE JUST DO NOT WANT TO PUT UP WITH.

If the fondling your man is doing is not acceptable to you, don't try to wrap your head around what's wrong with you. It disturbs you, that's enough. And is he actually respects you as a person and really loves you, he will comply and not do it.
We human's love our excuses, and our self-interpretations, but we are simple fucking monkeys. We ALWAYS do what we care about most.
He has the option to not molest/grope/fondle/Happy-Sunshine-Candy-Poke you because even though he wants it, he wants your happiness more.
-OR-
He has the option to indulge his fetish at your expense.

It is not complicated. He is going to do the one he wants to do more. Human programming is really fucking simple. We pretend it is complicated, but we always do what we want to do the most.

He he can't respect you, break it off.

My sweet husband licks my feet at night, whats the big deal? why can't he play around if thats what he likes doing. Maybe your conscious doesn't please him during sex.

Fucking gross

I don't know if this is the right response but if my gf told me she was sticking her finger in my butt when I sleep I would probably laugh and yell "OIL CHECK"

imagine your gf putting her finger in your ass when you sleep. you wouldnt like it.
moreover it is possible that he didnt do it when she didnt wake up. it doesnt mean that he was fingering her every night. he might have done it only a few times and thats when she woke up. btw who doesnt know that fingering wakes up anyone, perhaps only you. btw thats why he might not have done it many times.

Idiot

OP, there's a lot of weird responses in this thread.

Pick related is the definition of sexual assault. You told him never to touch you like that. He did it anyway. Can you trust a man like that?

Leave him before you invest your whole life in him.

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Accept that your holes are there for his interest and pleasure and curiosity.
You need to shut the fuck up and accept it.

and you need to leave this board and never return to avoid contamination of the rest of the individuals by your rabid thoughts. fuck off bloody dog.

Lol nope. I am here to stay. I preach the truth.

OP needs to know her place. She is a second rate human, a human whos sole purpose is to accept men and pleasure them.

You, and your Disney tattoos can fuck right off, whore.

Go clean your sex doll, Jimothy. I can smell the reek through my computer screen.

>I so don't want to break up
Are you disabled

Fucking break up and press charges, shit's criminal and not okay.
Since he's continuing after you told him not to, maybe you should TAKE THE FUCKING HINT AND LEAVE. He's doing it because he knows you won't do shit about it. You offer no resistance, no pushback.

Remember OP, you did not fucking consent to this. Break up. Pack you shit and leave.

Who hurt you?

This reeks of hurt feelings. Sadness and a need for revenge.

What in the actual fuck
I'm giving OP advice and your response is "Oh you must be hurt and you must want revenge"
Just fucking shoot me.

Ima go finger my sleeping wife and make her wake up to a thumb up her asshole and that bitch is going to smile and like it.

Perhaps if you would simply be ready to frequently initiate a good hot, sweaty round of sex to help satisfy the carnal urges men get, yes, even in this Prozac"d world of ours, he wouldn't need to get his fun molesting you. Or he is a perv and gets off with sleep sex... The Fetish is on the internet, many videos online now

Fiancée is a woman
Fiancé is a man

I personally would find it hot if my fiancé did it but if you hate it then tell him that if he won't stop you are going to not share her for a night

That's what being married is fuckboy

>being married immediately means that a person you are married to can molest you whenever they want to

Kek

Which is why I'll never marry. Specially with all the whores becoming r9k here.

Then never marry, you aren't hurting anyone but yourself by that. I am getting married making kids and going to have great life, you don't want to want it

JK. It's on you. Sticking a finger up my wife would get her upset at night. Its a faint surprise reaction followed by getting lustful and wet. Luckily we have thorough and transparent communication as any 6 year relationship should. If she was really against it we would have an open discussion and compromise not potentially put me in prison lol. Congrats on the marriage.

OP you're living with a secret sexual psychopath. I don't think it s about the time of the day (night) it just happens to happen, it's clear he is turned on by helplessness, seeing you vulnerable, unconscious. Nothing stopping from waking you up or continuing when you wake up but he gets off on the LACK of consent, of having your unconscious body in his hands.
Only a matter of time until you're gonna get chlorophorm'd, you better start deveolping a rape fantasy

Take that stick out of your ass and jump on the fun train for once.

My gf loves it when she's asleep and I touch her, grab her around, kiss her, lick her, bite her, finger her, slap her ass, masturbate her or even stick my dick inside. And she either wakes up to those things, or I tell her in the morning about what I did. She absolutely loves it. Even the mere thought of being so much of a sexual desire for the man she loves, that he can't contain himself while she's asleep.
It got to the point where she wanted me to cum on her and show her a video or pics.
That wasn't enough for her, though, and she started waking up in the middle of the night and jerking me off or sticking my dick inside herself sometimes.

Just have fun with it, ya retard.

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The fact your gf loves it doesn't mean that OP does. The same as if your girl liked spanking it doesn't mean that it's okay for every fiancé ever to hit their fiancée's butt until it's bleeding or purple from hits

OP should learn to love it, because right now she's a no-fun-allowed cunt.
Probably the type of bitch to hold her pussy hostage and only put out when she sees profit in it, otherwise expecting her man to be asexual (although still worshipping her and her body, and putting her pussy on a pedestal).

>purple or bleeding butt
I'm bad at spanking like that, so it's never gonna happen anyway.

Literally no feminists think that. If you need to exaggerate their arguments to make them look dumb maybe they weren't that bad.

She can have fun during the day? I can't comprehend the fact that you think it is okay to force sexual activity on a person that isn't conscious over and over again after promising you would stop.
She said that they have sex everyday, did you even read the post? She just isn't comfortable with being used when she isn't conscious. You actually sound like rapist in making and I'm glad you have a girlfriend thay enjoys it instead of just forcing it on people and then blaming them if they don't want to be used sexually without consent.

>finger in your ass when you sleep. you wouldn't like it
Don't project. Regardless though, anal requires preparation. It's not actually something you can just do. So that's not a working analogy.

Putting finger into ass needs preparation of licking it or putting lube on it.

Also putting stuff in vagina requires preparations (gasp!)

You are just reaching because you know you would be a hypocrite if you did that to your gf without her consent but would be mad if she fingered your ass when you sleep

Literally none huh?
google.ca/amp/s/witchwind.wordpress.com/2013/12/15/piv-is-always-rape-ok/amp/

My bad I misread the first post, but this is pretty damn close.

Not that user but
>girl calls molesting a fiancée forcing his fingers in her without her consent when she is not conscious

>Hahaha stupid feminists think that looking at someone is rape


These two aren't connected.

Gotta be kidding me...

You know, and I mean this.. just look at people who have different beliefs than you and their behaviour on dumb things.. this is truth...

Sometimes things are offensive and hurt you because *you think it should*. Your head's so full of rape garbage you think what you're going through is traumatising or some shit.

It's not. You're married. He's not a random at a bar, he isn't hurting you, he isn't drugging you.. he's your damn husband with whom you already have a sexual relationship.

You are offended because you're being dramatic, and you're going to ruin both your lives over it. Stop doing this.

>anal requires preparation
and Vagina's don't??? hahaha i'm pretty sure you're an angry incel and your gf is imaginary


If you hadn't been together for so long OP I would say break up immediately but I agree with the therapy sentiment or take a break. Sleep in separate rooms for awhile or something if you can.

I know it's scary to break up with someone you love and trusted but the fact of the matter is that he's broken your trust. I really respect that he was honest and open with you but that doesn't excuse his current behavior.

Despite how fucked up Jow Forums is there are a plethora of men who would happily respect those boundaries. It's not asking for much to be able to just sleep.

Are u mentaly ill?

You sound like a rapist's friend that tries to defend him by "uh but they were such a good friends he would have never raped her"

This. Most grills need foreplay. No wonder OP hated it if her fiance just started sticking stuff inside her when she was dry.

This is normal you ungrateful bitch.

It's not hypocrisy. I don't think you understand the biological and psychological differences between men and women. Men need to be sexually satisfied and women need to emotionally. If my girlfriend stopped satisfying me sexually then I'll stop satisfying her emotionally. Also women are subservient. If my girlfriend said can I finger your ass while you sleep and I said no that'll be the end of it. I can do whatever I want to my girlfriend because she loves me and wants me to be happy. The reason OP doesn't want to let her fiance fondle her is she doesn't respect him. She needs to find a man she loves enough to let him fondle her while she sleeps

Women need to be sexually satisfied and men need to be emotionally satisfied as well.

No, he doesn't respect her because he thinks it's okay to molest her even after promising he won't.

If I were young girlfriend I would have molest the shit out of you during your sleep if you did that to me kek you would have woken up one day with 5 pencils up your ass and if you don't like it then oh well you don't respect me and you need to find yourself a woman you live enough to let her push pencils into your asshole while you sleep

*Your
*Molested
*Love

>A finger is equivalent to shoving sharp and dangerous object up somebody's rectum and potentially killing them in their sleep.

You're really reaching for that one, huh.

But you're just LARPING as a girl. You're a man and have testosterone and are aggressive and combative. If you were a girl you'd be too emotional and physically weak to dare challenge me on anything. You'd be crying from stress at work or your family or from friends. You'd need me to comfort you and then you'd let me do anything I wanted to you.

>flat part of pencil will potentially kill me
Speaking of reaching, you must be a giraffe

I'm not a man though? I do need emotional support but I respect myself enough to not let creepy guys molest me and get away with it

Your boyfriend is just some creepy guy? I feel bad for him. I'd say I'm lucky my girlfriend respects me but if you were with me you'd worship the ground I walk on too.

what the fuck is it with you people

Can't remember calling him creepy, I am calling you creepy. Haha, I can already see you are all bark no bite
>worship the ground I walk on
Sorry I want relationship not to cater to your god complex. Your girlfriend must really hate herself to let you molest her and still to "worship" you

Can you be consistent. If your boyfriend said he wanted to fondle you in your sleep would you let him yes or no?

I personally would lol, but I'm speaking about OP and if I felt the same way as she does

So my original point stands about how OP doesn't love her fiance. Look at how she describes him in the first post. She says the relationship is "fine" she complains about him crying and wants to send him to therapy. Does this sound like a woman who loves her man? Nope. I don't even know why you're arguing yet you agree with me.

Bait threat nicely baited. All the spergs here don't need advice, just a vibrator and emotional validation.

We can't know that. But if she isn't comfortable with something he does he shouldn't do it if he loves her or respects her.

He is crying because she is rightfully mad he does something to her without consent. Maybe he wouldn't be crying if he didn't keep on breaking the promise he makes to her.

I would let my boyfriend do that but I do not agree on the fact that every girl ought to feel the same way as I do

The only good response in this thread. This is only an indicator of who knows how many bundaries he's willing to break.

I see the issue, here. You said that you enjoy having sex when you're conscious and fully aware. However, you also said that this makes you uncomfortable and causes anxiety when he penetrates you in your sleep. So, what would be the issue here, one may ask?

You're not into sex for purposes of love, plain and simple. If you were, you wouldn't be so deeply troubled by this. The simple fact of the matter is that you two are into sex for different reasons. You're into sex for purposes of pleasure. Unless you get something out of it, you don't want it. Whether he enjoys it or not doesn't matter to you. Your consensus on sex is focused on self. One-sided. While I don't judge you for that, I can't let the truth go unspoken. You said he's been your partner for six years, and you're engaged.

The fact of the matter is, you have an entirely different set of sexual desires than you think you do, or it's a trust issue. You're likely into sex for purposes of pleasure, not love. Thus, you must consider where the issue lies. By engaging him and having sex with him, you probably led him on to believe it was out of love and cherishment, which you never intended to do. The best option here is probably to just leave him. You don't serve his interests, he doesn't serve yours. If you loved him, you'd be completely fine with what he does. You simply don't love him, or at least don't trust him. You aren't getting what you want, neither is he. The faults lie with both. You made a mistake, got into a serious relationship with someone you don't want, he touches you without your consent. That, or again, it's trust issues.

Leave him if it's the love issue. Don't feel bad about it. We all make mistakes. You aren't getting what you want out of this. If you loved and trusted him, you'd be fine with it. The issue is either trust, or love. If it's trust, you need to evaluate the circumstances of the relationship. I'm sorry that you're going through this, and I hope you do what's best for you.

She agreed to marry the man, her holes are now his property. Look up the historical context of wife.

If OP doesnt like it, she should leave and get her own roof and pay her own billls. But you and I both know she wants to be a princess, nothing in this life is free, sweety.

His behavior is normal, what kind of pretentious prude are you?

This.

If he is putting his hands on you in a way that you have not consented to, then he is in the wrong here.

Wanting to wake a partner up with sex/touch them while they're asleep isn't inherently a bad or weird thing IF both parties discussed it beforehand. I'm perfectly fine with my partner doing this to me, but if they had done it WITHOUT asking first, then it would have been a problem.

(you)

you are a bloody psychopath