I go to sleep without any plans for tomorrow.
I wake up without knowing what to do for the day.
Nothing drives me anymore, so I just spend my days procrastinating at home.
I've been living my life like this for almost 7 years now. No cash for therapy. No family members and/or friends to talk to.
How could anyone escape from a life like this?
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Get some ambition.
If you had one shot. Would you take it? Or just let it pass?
How does one get ambition/motivation? I've been trying over the years, trust me
Maybe get some depression medication.
By having goals.
What would your perfect life look like?
Imagine somebody being somebody like Tony Stark. What would he tell you to do in your situation?
>What would your perfect life look like?
No idea. I don't know what I'm like and what I want to be. Some people told me a few things they liked about me in the past, but I can't really depend on that.
I just want to live a happy life, or at least one without anxiety.
I'll answer for you then based on my own life.
You want money.
You want respect.
You want pride.
You want comfort.
You want purpose.
To do that you have to have the ambition to aim high. If you just want to be content then you'll get that kind of life early in your work.
Use the internet to look at ways to reach the level you want. Personally I'm not content with anything. I always want more. I like business so I always study what I can do with the resources I have to make more money.
Stop lying to us, you know what you want. You just feel embarrassed to say it. Everybody wants something
Maybe I want those, I really don't know. Whenever I think about my future or my dreams, it's like staring into the void, I see and feel nothing. It just doesn't work for me somehow, almost as if I'm unable to have goals or lack the ability to think of them.
I'm not lying. If I wanted anything from life, I wouldn't have started this thread
The alternative is to be miserable. You said you wanted to be happy so I'd start by wanting the things I said.
People like you repulse me, OP. It's like you are an empty shell of a person with no identity or personal integrity, and fuck me, I don't know how sone people mane to fail at being human on the most basic level
>no goals
>no ambitions
>no sense of self
This situation should enrage you, you should feel mad that you are like an inanimate object... and yet you are meek and lethargic
Fucking disturbing
Thanks for the advice
There is no motivation like fearing for your life op. There has to be some way we can use this information to help you.
Do you feel depressed/numb my man?
I do, almost every day
Have you ever tried one of the following?
1. Medication
2. Meditation
3. Healthy Diet Change
4. Exercice
5. Regular sleep schedule
1. Nope
2. I have, but due to constant noise in the area where I live, I just cannot focus or be calm while doing it
3. I'm on a fairly healthy diet, keeping my calorie intake in check
4. Every time I decide to start exercising at home, I usually stop after 2-3 weeks because I don't feel any stronger or healthier, also there's that "I suck at this" feeling to it that I can't shake off
5. Tried it, insomnia is a bitch though, I usually go to bed when I almost faint from mental fatigue
Why do you get that feeling that you "suck at that"?
Long story short, my mother was a teacher in the school I went to when I was around 12, and the expectations were high from her part. If I didn't get the best grades, I was beaten by her. I didn't study for myself, only for her, to not get physically abused by my mother.
Ever since then, whenever I start doing anything productive or start a new hobby, I eventually get to a point where I feel so anxious about not being good at said thing, that I just leave it altogether. I guess I can't deal with failure.
It's not fear of failure, it's not being able to accept that your best won't always be perfect. Or something like that. I'm still not sure.
I had kinda similar thing growing up. With the grades thing. It didn't matter that I passed my classes, if I wasn't getting A's I was getting beat physically and verbally. Eventually I just gave up completely and failed out because nothing was ever good enough. Parents tell you you're worthless enough and you start to believe it.
I got no words for you Op. Just keep hope. I'm not really hyped about life either, never have been. If I was, it was too long ago to remember. Just gotta keep going becasue there's shit else to do.
I think I'll gather some cash and go see a therapist. Professional help is the only way out of this imo.
Thank you for your advice