Am I being unreasonable?

what's the market value of it currently vs what you'd still have to borrow to get a new/recent basic bitch car?

have you pointed out that difference to her? even if a basic bitch car is "cheaper", you still have to pay to make the exchange

Honestly I'd tell her to fuck off. If she can't handle it, leave her. If it isn't the car, it'll just be something else.

>>see what she is trying to hint at now?
Yes, it occurred to me that maybe we aren't actually on the same page about kids, that she either pretended to agree hoping to change my mind later, or has changed her mind since we talked about it (about a year ago). If that's the case then I haven't changed my mind. I'm still more of a no than a yes on wanting kids.

>if you want sex again get rid of the lotus. can always buy a fast 4 door car thats practical like a caddilac cts-v or amg wagon.
It's not about how fast a car goes for me. Explaining what I look for in a car is kind of irrelevant but suffice to say that if I wanted to replace the lotus with something that provided me with the same amount of joy, it would very likely end up being something 30+ years old or otherwise equally as impractical.

Paid about 32k, it's worth about 38k now. The capital gain is less than the upkeep but that doesn't worry me. If I were to replace it with some boring shit box then I wouldn't be wasting my money on buying new. I'd buy something 5ish years old and spend no more than 15k on it, which I'd be able to pay as a cash sum after selling the lotus and have no loan to speak of.

Today it's the Sudetenland tomorrow it's all of Czechoslovakia. You can't appease entitlement.
She feels entitled to more of your money and time if the relationship is to progress. It's probably insecurity talking in her subconscious along the lines of 'if he won't give up his car he's not really into me or having kids' that comes out as general irrational rage.
Stonewall her but make it clear you're committed to the relationship despite this.
I can't stress enough that if you appease her on this she's going to use this as a shit test to relieve her own insecurity for the rest of her life. If you don't give up X, Y or Z later on well then you're just not really committed to her and she was right to worry all along.
Your taste in vehicles made me gag on my coffee.

Looks like a really gay car. Her behavior is probably directed more towards your vapid outlook on life than the comfort of the car itself.

T. Carfags should off themselves. A lot of dudes out with their pride and joy old muscle cars this summer and they smell like shit.

If you are willing to end your relationship over something insignificant like getting rid of a car that has nothing to do or even pertains to her, then that's a pretty shitty relationship. Tell her to drop it, you both have issues but more so her. She's arguing over something that doesn't involve her. If she doesn't like the car tell her to get her fucking own.

Since she owns her own car, you're not being unreasonable.
Tell her how you feel if you haven't done so already; how much pleasure you take into fixing and taking care of your car, how it was a dream of yours to own one, etc. If she's still being a cunt about it, then beware.
Do you have any similar issues with her?

The relationship is otherwise solid, she seems to have become stuck on the car. Evidently it represents something for her that I just can't see. And it's not like she's putting her foot down and saying 'me or the car' but she wouldn't win that ultimatum just on the principle of the thing.

We don't have any outstanding issues that I'm aware of. Maybe I need to revisit the conversation about kids.

Is there a way for you to keep both?

>Maybe I need to revisit the conversation about kids.
Not a bad idea. Good luck.

I'd rather keep both. I'm not really sure she'd come out on top of a me-or-the-car ultimatum though, if it ever comes to that.

She hardly ever even rides in my car any more. When we're going somewhere together we take her car about 80% of the time, and I still do the majority of the driving. Of course I drove us around when we were first dating but it's just not true anymore.

Enjoy fucking your car? Or find a new girlfriend that doesn't mind you having a car. Or get a more practical car. Those are your options.

I'm telling you bro, it's insecurity.

You mean just general insecurity about the relationship?

Which would make it really just a shit test to see if I'm whipped/committed the way she imagines I should be?

I don't see what the problem is materially. Get a Toyota and keep the Lotus. The Lotus will stay intact longer if you don't daily it.

why doesnt she get a bitch car herself? never marry a golddigger

...

>telling someone to give up something they cherish and love

Relationships are fucken dumb. If it's something that isn't self-destructive, let people live. Christ

>I'LL be able to free up finances to get approved for a larger mortgage and therefore a bigger house
>SHE has the usual materialistic idea about OWNING a giant house

Something isn't adding up... She wants to wager your finances for her possession? Sounds shady and generally shitty.

In the situation where her logic plays out:
>you sell the thing you love
>you apply for a larger morgage
>you legally own a more expensive property (generally meaning more space/luxury)
>YOU NOW HAVE TRADED YOUR CAPITAL ESSENTIALLY AS LIQUID FOR A CAR YOU DISLIKE LARGELY BY COMPARISON TO YOUR LOTUS, TO A LARGER HOUSE WHICH DOES NOT ALIGN WITH YOUR WANTS/NEEDS
>She gets to say she owns a bigger house
>She will never drive your car because it was the finances behind it and "practicality" that is driving her to try to drive you to sell it

Dude... There is literally no outcome that you maintain dignity and self-respect, much less any real enjoyment other than keeping the car and telling her that this is really non-negotiable.
>prove me wrong

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sell the car and you'll loose her respect

don't do it op

It literally doesn't matter her rational for wanting you to get rid of your car, nor does it matter that some of us think it's a dorky car, it is 100% the principal of the matter.

It's your money and your car, you can do what you want with it. She's allowed to not like it, as you're allowed to not like something about/of her, that is just how people are. However, if she starts to really push the issue, she's in the wrong and you'd be in the right to give her marching orders. People might think you're crazy for giving her the boot but it's about her respecting your thing and not trying to control your harmless lifestyle (it's not like you're a drug addict and she wants you to quit). Plus you'll be done paying it off in 7 months which is no time. Even in the long term, if a baby becomes a thing, you can just get a cheap people-mover and keep your car in the garage until the weekend or whatever.
One day a month on maintenance is not an unfair amount of 'you' time and even if it's more expensive, it's clearly your hobby and a hobby will almost always be at least a moderate money sink.

This is coming from someone who isn't into cars at all.

Just spitballing here, but do you think maybe it’s a fear of you injuring yourself in the vehicle?

Do not sacrifice that car for pussy, user. If you do than you are fucking retarded. Tell her if she brings the issue up again you will dump her, and follow through with your word, because if you don't, than she knows she can win any argument with you, if not directly than by attrition.

Or just, you know, dump her for a girl that respects your hobbies and interests.

The stupid things a motherfucker will do for that pussy....

STOP.

You can still have a sports car and also a "4 door family car hurr durr"

Options off the top of my head:
M3
M5
Chevy SS
Charger R/T (SRT8 if you have brass balls)
Holden Commodore
Subaru WRX/ Legacy GT or Spec-B
Lancer Evo
Holden Commodore or Ford falcon if you're down under.
Kia Stinger GT (Cue the memes)

Could be, I guess. It's not something I ever worry about. All my life I have driven tiny cars that would be absolutely destroyed in any kind of collision. On the other hand I have never been in an at-fault accident.

I'm at work at the moment boys but if this thread is still up in a few hours I'll update it on the situation once I've spoken to her.

Alternatively pull the real alpha move and buy a Viper.
The marriage destroyer™
The American death machine™
The crisis that makes sure you don't make it 'till midlife™

Please offer to buy a sedan and just get a sports sedan. If you can afford it a Chevy SS/Pontiac G8 looks like a Malibu but drives like a Camaro.

Alternatively a new WRX STI or an EVO X looks like a Camry and drives like a miata.

The only one of those cars I'd consider owning is an M3, and they're pricier than what I've got now. Assuming her problem really is with the money, that gets me nowhere.

I really am not a fan of muscle cars, and the evo/wrx thing never appealed to me.

None of those are performance cars in the way the lotus is. Small and light and handles perfectly is my idea of a good car. It could have a toaster for an engine and I wouldn't care as long as it met those other criteria.

Are you suggesting I buy a second car? I don't see why since we have no need of one and it'd just be another car for me to maintain and I would never want to drive it.

From my understanding it is more the hobby than the car.

You need to sit her down and flat out telling her that you enjoy having the car cause it is one of your hobbies. If she doesn't understand that then tell her you will find another girl that will.

This is just a red flag for me. Now if you were planning for kids the car has to go. See if she changed her mind about that.

lol it looks like someone got in a front end collision with a real sports car

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I'll tell you what I told my friend that is about to marry his increasingly bitchy gf and ruin his life: if she doesn't like what you do now, she is going to like it even less when you're married. She has to respect your hobby and you hers, within reason. You aren't collecting women's panties, you own a car.

What most people will tell you, and they're right, is that after you get married most of your spouse's habits and opinions will only amplify. My wife became more vocal about things and got more comfortable being messy around the house until I politely told her to stop being a fucking heathen and clean up after herself because I wasn't her God damned maid. Other than that, we've been peachy for the 7 years we've been together. She had a slight issue with my gaming and car habits, but I told her to feel free to find someone who didn't do what I did. Seems like a really asshole thing to say, but it's the truth. If she doesn't feel like the car is worth compromising on so she can enjoy everything else about you then she can fuck right off and find some cuck that drives an appliance. My wife immediately dropped it and that was that.

Now, my friend is going to marry a girl that openly refers to him (and us, his friends) as "losers" to our faces in front of her friends (a bunch of vapid middle class frauds with leased bmws that make less money than we do) because we like to play video games and watch livepd in our free time. It's too late for him, you still have time to make this decision a good one.

Yep. Which is ironic because it's a self fulfilling prophecy in that it drives men away.

fuck i'm just reading this nonsense and fuck what's wrong with girls
come on isn't it a child trauma of cars WHAT THE FUCK

I think she had made rational arguments for why you should ditch the car.
But it is your hobby and she shouldn't stop you from doing things you enjoy.
It seems like she wants more money so she can have kids, and you want a sweet car.
Maybe you can find a cheaper car you'd like or find a way to make more money.

car over everything tell that bitch to sush and enjoy the drive

Fuck man. Thats a nice car.

You need to tell her youre keeping the car, and if she wants a man who listens to her insane demands there's the door.

Just be realistic with yourself as other anons said. The car is a shit test, she'll take the arm and the leg, then cheat on you.

God amongst men.

We're back for an update lads.

Managed to talk to her about it without it turning into shit flinging. Anyone who said "she wants a kid" give yourselves a pat on the back. Lucky for me I had the whole afternoon to prepare my speech so I acquitted myself well.

Things I said:
>I regret letting it turn into an argument
>I don't like how you treat me regarding the car and I feel that, given you're hardly ever in it, you don't get a say in my ownership of it
>the car is part of the broader hobby, but it is also a possession I treasure highly
>you know I don't care to own more than a few things and one of the things I choose is the car
>there aren't many circumstances under which I'd consider selling it while I'm still enjoying it
>giving up the car would be like you giving up the jewelry making
>as far as my math goes we will still be approved for enough money to afford a modest house between us

Things she said:
>I'm sorry that I've always given you such a hard time
>you have to admit it's not practical
>there is no room for car seats
>>please note she dropped that one on the sly, like I wouldn't hear it
>we won't be able to afford to keep it along with a 3rd car once we own a house

I pulled her up on the comment about the baby seats and she said she was still on the fence about kids but felt more and more like she wanted them. I told her I was still not really interested in kids, that if I were to have kids with anyone it would be her, but that I've never once had any kind of urge telling me that I want to take that step.

I have no idea where we're going from here to be honest. I'm keeping the car at the very least, and I think that at 26 I am in a good position to make the call and say I don't want kids. Obviously this is less of an issue for me than her since there's no time limit for me on changing my mind. meanwhile her ovaries are whispering sweet nothings in her ear.

We agreed we'd talk about it more another day.

I wouldn't say it's solid mate. It first starts with the car, then could move on to other things. The more you wait on resolving the issue, the bigger hole you'll dig yourself into. Either have a conversation that it is one of your hobbies and giving it up will change who you are. If she makes issue with that, then tell her that she is moving way too fast in the relationship. I understand you like her, but it should be mutual. Not one way.

There’s something you aren’t seeing. Go see a counselor together. Help you both to understand why you’re jeopardizing your relationship over a car.

Mates

>cant afford to keep it and buy a house
A) it's got a Toyota engine so bullshit because it's basically the same engine that's going to be in the dinky Corolla
B) dont buy such an expensive house

If $2-300 in maintenance a month (which it won't even be that) breaks your budget then you're living beyond your means.

Fpbp

lmao would much rather have a lotus than some roastie bitch

How about this...
...How about she buys the fucking car SHE WANTS. Just because you're together doesn't mean you can't be financially independent. Couples that tell their partner how to spend their money sicken me

This OP!

You're right that the engine doesn't cost me anything. I service it regularly and spend up to $100/year on engine oil. You're also close on the money for how much parts cost me. It cost me $400 in parts for CV boots and some drive shaft seals two months ago when they needed to be replaced. It cost be $150 for a roof latch when one broke. It cost about the same for a central locking system. It costs me about $1500 more per year to insure than the appliance mobile she wishes I was driving for the sake of the hypothetical baby she apparently now wants.

Also it's not fuel efficient. I drive it like a sports car and put 98 in it. It's expensive compared to a regular car, and what she was getting at was that I can't afford to keep it AND own a third, practical car that can take a baby seat.

She's right. Financially speaking it would be better to get rid of the car if we were going to have a baby. I'm not interested in babies, which is why I find no issue with affording the car and the house.

why do you need a house if you don't want children?

they're not very good as investments and sooooo many people make money off of you

Property is a good investment where I live so long as you choose carefully. But that's not really my personal reason, I'm more interested in having a little bit of land that would provide me space to do some small scale farming projects. I love to cook and fresh fruit and veg is incredible, and I would love to be able to supply a large amount of my diet with things I've grown myself.

You sound like a really cool dude. I'm not into cars but appreciate your passion, I also love to cook and also want to grow fruits and vegetables one day. I like you man.

You can have two cars though. No need to get rid of the fun car. Or is it a garage space thing?

Good job standing your ground. If you give in on this the demands will never stop until you're some unhappy shell of a man with nothing to call your own but the garage only for her to divorce you anyways and hook up with a man who can't be led around like a leashed dog.

Thanks man.

The lotus already costs me more than any two normal cars combined, and I know it's ironic coming from someone who owns an unnecessary sports car, but I'm not a big fan of excess. I allow myself things that make me happy, like the car, but am otherwise a stalwart minimalist.

I'm starting to wonder if she has been rubbishing my car all these years to try and mentally soften me up for the part where she does an about face, announces she wants a kid, and tells me I have to get rid of the car.

>about face

Nice, I'm about to get out and attend undergrad. I think my girlfriend and I are in a similar predicament. I'm scrapping my rb26 datsun idea for a more well rounded/safe one post grad. For now I'll probably pull the trigger on an e34 525i/5

I'd like to save money to put elsewhere for now, like the car fund :^)

>be chick
>be scrolling through Jow Forums
>whoa nice Lotus Elise, that's my favorite sports car
>read thread

Man, I'd stand my ground on this one. Fuck having kids and getting rid of something you love that you already own.

Out of curiosity, is your model stick or auto? How high can the seat sit so you can see the road? Could a short chick be able to see behind her without contorting her entire body? I struggle to drive a lot of cars because I'm short. I've always loved the look of the Lotus Elise, but I've yet to find someone who drives it to answer these crucial questions.

I only read the green text because the rest is irrelevant. Ignore her bullshit about your car. Women do this crap all the time. You're not asking her to replace her stuff? Tell her you're not discussing it ever again and hold the line. If you can't do that, then you're a beta bitch. If she leaves then you were going to get divorced anyway. If she lives you, she won't leave.

Ignore her about the car. She can get the fuck over it.

>he doesn't see how the GF lied and just waits for her opportunity to saddle him with kids but wants him to be 100% on board so she won't end up a single mother so the car has to go, the last thing tying you to your bachelorhood

Fucking kek. You got a lot to learn kiddo.

Didn't read past 7 months. 7 months is close to paying off and she should be happy to have a guy that can pay off his damn cars on time. Once again, ignore her about the car and tell her to get herself over it.

Again, didn't read much here because it's not relevant. Ignore her. Tell her you're not interested in discussing it. Be firm and slightly aggressive about it, but not rude. This is a major opportunity to take control of YOUR HALF of the relationship. Women want to rule both halves. Don't let her. Tell her that there will be no more discussion, explanation, apologies or compromises on the car.

Say these things to her next time she mentions it. See if she doesn't fuck your brains out that night.

OP, you don't have to sell the car if you don't want to, what the fuck.
Just don't sell the car, don't break up with her problem solved.
Will she break up with you because of the car or what?

Well, then it's her choice.

and this it really sounds ridiculous

But maybe she is jealous of the car and thinks you love the car more than her?

also this women sometimes test you subconsciously if you are a man or a wimp she can push around
she will get less attracted by you and leave you and find someone with an even more expensive car who tells her what to do instead and she will enjoy it
while you are sitting there with no girlfriend and a toyota instead

be a man OP, don't have to be an asshole, just be a man

In a happy marriage the man leads.

It's not virtuous to throw everything away you love and believe in.
Selling your car because she says so, just makes you spineless.

Bump so that this woman’s very important question might be answered.

If you love her, have a child with her. You need to accept that she will want this more and more as she gets closer to menopause and eventually you will lose her if you don't give her a child.

It’s most likely her friends, they tell her OP only drives to to get girls... other girls love yo fuck with people’s relationships...

Hold your ground on this and never concede. Control her a bit more, honestly. Relationships are 50/50 but not in the way you think, a man and a woman each bring something separate to the table, and while each are worth as much; they are still different. This is the type of thing you have to put your foot down on as a man. Don't even let her get away with the passive aggressive crap either. Just completely ignore it, or confront her on it every time she tries that bullshit. More importantly you guys need to plan exactly how the budgeting is going to work. You can't just split all expenses up 50/50 between the two of you. You need to sit down and make a combined budget both of you can agree on before you even think about marriage; anything else is setting yourself up for divorce. Financial problems are the number one cause of divorce in the US, so keep that in mind. You have a lot more than just the car to work out with this girl, the car is just the catalyst for it. It's gonna be turbulent, but if the relationship is strong it will make it' if it doesn't just be happy you dodged that bullet.

It's a manual transmission. I firmly believe that automatic sports cars should all be put in the bin.

Can't answer the other stuff really, sorry. The seat doesn't adjust up or down as far as I can tell, and the interior is all a pretty tight fit so I don't even know if you could adjust the seat brackets to give you more height (wouldn't recommend doing that anyway). Visibility is pretty okay but I am 5'11 king of manlets and it's not an issue for me. The C pillar is quite in the way but I have previously owned a similar car and am very used to it. Even I have to contort my body to do useful shoulder checks. So long as you're paying enough attention to the road it's nor a problem to take your eyes off it for long enough to do that stuff.

Try going to a local lotus car day and since you're a girl I don't think any of the owners would have a problem with letting you sit in it.

I don't want a kid, not at this point in my life, and I won't bend my stance just to make her happy. The idea of saddling myself with someone who is going to take up a good deal of my attention for the rest of my life just to please someone else is a solid 'no' from me.

Ironically her friends love my car. I hear it frequently and have taken all of them for a spin in it several times.

I don't even think it is a reasonable thing to even think about selling the car if you don't want. The car that you I quote
>love [it] to absolute death
is not the thing that is even at the forefront of this argument. It's the simple fact that you would let something that you love for her conveniences' sake, she will continue to nag you for things you like or like doing, just because she doesn't like it. I am not letting go of my car just because a bitch told me and I don't think you should, too.

>let something
I meant
>let go of something

you're better off buying a cheap lot out in the boonies, your suburban soccer mom associations won't let you grow shit, and will probably shit their pants if they see the lotus out on the driveway on jackstands

That's one of the things we're in agreement about. I've done more homework than her on this and she trusts my judgement, but basically I've got three suburbs pegged as areas that will experience significant growth after a couple more years of staying stagnant. All of these areas offer larger blocks but with smaller, slightly older houses.

Of course I'm thinking that I'll have 1/4 or 1/2 and acre to build a greenhouse for aquaponics and maybe a shed for brewing beer and she's thinking that we'll be flipping houses and getting our own TV show. It's actually one of those inside jokes that I keep with myself, because I'm the one with all the handy skills and I once watched her try to drill a hole in the wall to hang a clock and she literally couldn't hold onto the drill - it had more torque than she had arm strength - so what she means is that I will be flipping houses and she will be picking out paint colours while the rest just happens around her.

The car will stay forever with you, as long as you treat it well.

The woman will leave you as soon as you have kids, no matter how well you treat her.

I don't know, man. It's up to you. Just to remind you: this is heels over wheels

Keep taking that bus snowflake.

Are you jealous that they have a joy in life?

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You don't know how much I'd love to hit your bike and run you over. Bikers are closet faggots. This is fact.

Never wager your personal finance for another person's potential gain. It is a dead end and she is a piece of shit for thinking this way.

how in the fuck do people just BUY cars in their early 20s? what the fuck do you do?

Explain to her in words similar to this thread how much you like the car, how much working on it brings you joy even though its technically 'worse' than having an appliance car, tell her how much you like driving it, how its your dream car, etc etc

if she still says sell it, she doesn't care about what brings YOU joy, and only wants you to exist as an accessory to her, filling all the 'husband' roles that she needs filled for the sake of having a life that looks good on social media

Honestly from reading the thread you guys think very differently about a lot of big things, like money and house sizes

Thisssssss

You got the dick don't be a pussy

Get the fuck out of that relationship.

It starts with your car but she'll want to control everything on your life later.

Dude, sack her off. If she doesn't like that car she needs to see a shrink.

Find something of hers that she LOVES and ask her to get rid of it, like her hair straighteners or her makeup :-/

You can't change your hobbies and passions. You cam change your girlfriend. It may seem perfect because you're compatible on 99/100 things. But that one thing is too important and you will be miserable with a wife that controls your hobby. You'll find someone else, user.

Don't be a bitch and give in.

I was suggesting you buy a family car and sell the lotus but considering "MUH handling" is your only consideration there aren't many options. CTS-V, Alfa Gulia, or Porsche Panamara maybe and for the love of god don't buy a Beemer.

What's stopping her from having a practical vehicle or you from owning two vehicles?

Nothing special. I work in marketing and though I'm smart and very good at what I do, at an entry-level job it doesn't make much difference. In the lead up to graduating uni I got the cancer and spent 18 months of my life dealing with that, finished my last class and graduated. As an aside, being an inch away from death at 20/21 offered me (and still does, to some degree, especially when compared with people like my gf who have a strong naive streak) a perspective on life that fresh graduates really couldn't compete with.

Other than that I was living at home and had no real expenses to speak of, so I saved 10k easily within 12 months, took out a loan secured against the car for the rest over a 5 year term, and bought the car. Doing all my own work on the car saved me a tonne of money too.

>you guys think very differently about a lot of big things, like money and house sizes
This is the naive steak I am referring to. She is still very much involved in the romance of ideas like owning the white picket fence and having the high powered jobs and travelling the world and all that jazz, whereas I am involved in minimising stress and maximising happiness. I've had enough stress for two lifetimes.

Again, it's hard to explain. Handling is high on my list but I am also interested in the character a car has to offer. Finding a sensible car with character is literally impossible in my price range.

As I said above, the lotus costs me as much as two cars would already and I am not a fan of things done in excess. If I were put in the position of having to either sell the lotus or own a second car, I would sell the lotus. It's a personal philosophy thing without a strictly rational explanation.

Why is this shit still up when I already gave you advice yesterday. Fuck.

Local lotus car day, huh? Is there some kind of site, organization, or reddit that organizes/catalogs these things?

>I would sell the lotus. It's a personal philosophy thing without a strictly rational explanation
Whatever the excuse sounds like you two can't afford to keep the lotus and be financially responsible, its a nice car though.

Buy her a civic for 2 or 3k if she's so set on getting a more "comfortable," car. Otherwise tell her to fuck off, or buy her own. Making her buy her own, assuming you aren't married yet, is the best option. Only retards by their gf a car, or fucking sell their dream car for their satisfaction.