Why don't guys my age bracket (18-21) want to commit?

I understand what your trying to say, i want to save my V card for the right person. I'm not planning on having kids in muy 20s imo, i would like to travel and get to know my partner for a good 10 years before even having a kid. I really want compainship and romantic love.

>I'm not planning on having kids in muy 20s
Why would anyone want to marry you? The whole purpose of marriage is starting a family.

You definitely weren't lying about your age since I haven't spoken with someone this naive since high school.

There's nothing really that anyone is going to tell you that will really change your mind. You just have to live and let your experiences mold you. Learn.

That mythical dude that you're "getting to know" for 10 years might not even be the "one" but you will never know if you dont try.

Just go for the dude you like. Play it by ear. you will not have any idea how things will go if you just sit there planning all fucking day, Go live and experience shit and figure these things out through action and not an advice board on a Chinese cartoon image board.

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>it will cloud your judgement
if you go up to every guy your age thinking "he won't commit", then you won't be 100%

OP (You),
make an advertisement for your "V card" on some global sites. It could give you desirable offers & prospects. Don't waste the time with "video games and anime": a miracle won't happen.

>i already know what i want
lol nope, why do teenagers always think this? ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

you should be grateful that you haven't found a guy who's as short-sighted as you are, otherwise you idiots would've probably been married and divorced already

Have you tried asking him?

There's a lot of reasons and they can be figured out with pretty simple subtle questions. But commonly it has to do with boundaries set upon them by their parents.

You're 18, he's 19, he's been out of high school for probably a year, and is attempting to have the time of his life while it's still new and exciting, i.e. what pretty much every newly-legal dude does for an extended period, and the last thing he wants to do it commit to something that compromises his ability to have fun solo, because if your idea of commitment is automatically something like:

>I'm looking for marriage and whatnot

instead of something like a trial relationship we're you're exclusive for a while, then you probably give off clingy vibes, and he can imagine what you'll do if you call him while he's doing something, and doesn't answer. The fact you're also attaching a lot to the virginity thing also means there's reason to believe you'll make this a major milestone. Some people forget what it's like to not have to go to school for a while, especially since not everyone jumps right into college, or is perfectly fine with community or certs, and the amount of free time to do absolutely everything is an amazing feeling when it's still fresh, and when you consider how marriage and raising a family is more of a chore now than when your grandparents did it, the appeal of opting-in to the financial sink that is dating is pretty low

It's also a lot easier to get laid now in comparison to when I just turned 18 (2006), and he might not want to do anything that signifies something deep, especially since his dating pool is now more than just what high school had to offer. Has this ever actually gone beyond flirting? If he hasn't done anything at this point to initiate something, then he isn't gonna. He'll NEVER admit to using dating apps or talking to other girls if you ask him, regardless of whether it's true, so you should find out if this actually CAN go somewhere that leads to commitment

Messing around with a tweaker girl from high school was all I needed anyway at that specific point anyway, since 2007 was probably THE year for PC gaming

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>what pretty much every newly-legal dude does for an extended period
>It's also a lot easier to get laid now in comparison to when I just turned 18

wut

Thank you for your response, he has flirted with me saying I was cute and whatnot. I'm not clingy with him and I'm trying to take things slowly and not to rush anything because from my experience rushing something leads to a breakup. Sometimes I leave him on read and don't reply until after, just so we can give some air to the convo. He does the same too, he has some issues from what I can tell. His parents are separated and he seems To like to take his time about sex. For example a ex that he was dating brand 20 condoms a month after they started dating and he turned down the offer for sex because he just wanted to get to know her better. He broke up with her. I went on a Facebook break on June the 5th and the next day I see he wrote " I miss you" which was really nice. Idk he does a lot of really sweet stuff to me and he doesn't seem like he'd want to just see my nudes and get away from me. But I have a feeling he is scared of commitment because of his parents which is understandable because to an extent I'm scared of it too but I would like to be commited is just I'm insecure about my self worth and I feel like no one will truly love me.

Look little sister, no one in this thread really knows what's going on in your fella's head.

We all have our POV's and we share them with you, but if you take our motivations and assume they are directly related to his you're going to to make a mistake.

Just ask him.

What do I ask him tho!

Do you and him have something in common except "talk about video games"?

I thought this was gonna be a thread about how you guys have been fucking for a while and he's not committing to a relationship, but you're still just flirting? What exactly do you expect him to commit to?

Well we talk about all sorts of stuff
Like how our days are, anime we like, What our lives are like and our taste in porn (´∀｀=)

Yeah true. I'm just awkward around him too, I don't really know how to comminicate with guys. Idk how to make things go further. I'm very scared

Every person's idea of a normal, average person most resembles themselves.

Your first question is in the negative. "Why don't guys commit?"

You ask that as if tendency for commitment is the normal, natural state of affairs.

It is not.

If you want to understand him you must realize that his behaviors are the most normal and natural response to his situation.

Taking time is normal. Reserving commitment is normal. Enjoying a person's company without projecting or assuming expectations is normal.

Now, because you are normal like him ask him about something that is unusual for both of you.

Like, for example, why people seem to crave commitment from someone they like on when they can simply have fun and flirt.

His answer will explain more about himself that the person he's trying to help you understand.

maximum reddit spacing

this.

lol are you the type of person that'd say " relationships are a social construct just have fun and fuck around "

just tell him you love him ask him to marry you informally, guys don't get creeped out by girls who come off as "desperate" unless they genuinely have no feelings for them, if that's the case i'm sorry but you'll have to find someone who wants to love you and be loved by you.

Just don't go fornicating that ruins your ability to pair bond and shows you have no self respect.
sex is the culmination of a relationship not the start of one. I know this sounds absurd to modernist mentalities but it's the reason serial monogamy is so common.You have to love someone's very essence unconditionally, if you try to find love in their appearance or personality the attraction will eventually wear off and you'll think you "fell" out of love, when there wasn't really any love in the first place.

Friend zone. So you both aren't even a thing, but you blame him for not marry you. Great...

How am I friendsoning him?

I mean, I'm not with him so I can't ask him to marry me lol. Plus I'm still getting to know him. I wanna take things slowly.

He doesn't perceive you as a female. Try to increase a physical interaction level and see what happens.

They know both of you are too young. Women whoild mrry under 25 and men under 30. Too much changes afterwards.

I didn't know you weren't even together. You Just have to tell him you have feelings for him, he's probably nervous, ideally girls prefer the guy to do the approach but he might just be as shy and confused as you are.

Not even Jupiter can find a lost opportunity, don't take things too slowly or circumstance may just split you apart by going to different schools or whatever.

Just tell him you have feeling for him, you don't have to ask him out, if he gets wierded out by it it's not a fear of commitment, he's just not into you and probably doesn't have the mentality to ever love you and that won't change.

You are a good person for genuinely looking for love and to be loved, worst case scenario you'll have to find someone else, as a girl it will be a lot more realistic a goal than an average guy.

I hope for the best with the two of you. The best advice I could give is that if a guy has a crush on you or is even attracted to you he'll be head over heels that you really want to be with him, he won't be creeped out about you being "clingy" unless you actually start doing the stereotypical clingy trust issue stuff.

And if you get together don't have sex right away, I know this will be hard but you can make do with cuddling and such. I can't stress this enough, it really is a slippery slope.

You'll get to know him while dating

Why wouldn't he precive me as female lol, and this is online

post vagene and bobs

At 18 you shouldn't even be thinking of marriage. You are moving way way too fast and he's trying to pull you back into reality. Do you seriously think that after only knowing someone for a month or two you are ready to get married? Fun fact: marriages made young are way way more likely to end up in divorce.

Do you at least know what he looks like?

It's not that he doesn't think of you as a girl, he MIGHT just think of you as a non-sexual acquaintance, like a family member or a friends girlfriend, he might be interpreting your flirting as banter or might just be humoring you and not interested.

again just tell him how you feel asap. I know it's hard but you aren't going to mess up anything by going too early, if he's not interested he never will be, and if he is you both benefiet.

even if he rejects you you'll find someone you care for even more and who cares you you just as much if you keep the mentality eventually. Time will dull the pain, even if you don't want it to, but it won't dull the love

>Fun fact: marriages made young are way way more likely to end up in divorce

not nearly as likely as marriages made by people who have had multiple sexual partners. Treating yourself like a statistic is dooming yourself to failure in the first place regardless.

The intent of marriage doesn't mean they have to get married asap, although it is a good idea as soon as they are financially stable.

wait have you not even met him in person? Yeah people are going to have commitment issues about bringing internet life and real life together lol.

mate, i didnt even bring that up with him. i am taking shit slowly and getting to know him before i even date him. im LOOKING for marriage but im not gonna fuckin make someone do that wtf

Source: your ass. You're an angry incel trying to spread lies about sex being bad.

here's another fun fact, people with above average IQs are 50 less likely to get divorced

stop trying to drag the girl down to your level.

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here's another one, you are also substantially more likely to be less happy or depressed.

Sex is a wonderful thing, you can have all the sex you want, so long as it's with the same person, preferably in the context of marriage.Again it's the culmination of a relationship, not he beginning of one.

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OP here
Thank you, i agree with you. It sickens me that people think like that. I mean you do you but don't try and force it on others when they obviously don't like it

Wait a minute: are we talking about a cam-whoring???

To be fair it is what's considered more normal nowadays, even if it's making people unhappy and causing relationships to fail. People will try to give you advice to just do what everyone else is doing because you are young and they think they are wise and experienced or whatever. Don't listen to anyone telling you you're desire to commit to someone forever is wrong or that sex is a meaningless emotionless affair for pleasure you shouldn't care about.

There is a bit of a misconception that people these days are all sleeping around or whatever, when really most people will date someone for a good few months or years, never make any commitments to each other, get board of the sex, break up and in a few months find someone new, and over the years this can build up to a lot of people and suddenly you are just shopping for a mate and not really falling in love with anyone. Regardless of what happens between you two just don't let go of the mentality of wanting to really bond with someone, even when the butterflies in your stomach fade away.

Ban evading again, you pathtletic incel tripfag?

what? I've never used a tripcode in my life and barely use this board. Those are common images.

Idk why you keep accusing me of being an incel for making you feel like a bad person. those idiots worship sex and yet are too dumb to realize they can just pay for it.

Everyone's been brainwashed into thinking its irresponsible to commit unless you have two and a half bachelors, a masters, 6 figure salary, and 10 years worth of equity into a house.
In reality potential couples end up pissing away what would be the best years of their life getting "established".

Making commitments like marriage or kids? This guy I like, i want to know him more and more and it's just indescribable on how I feel about him. I really like him, in my previous relationships I was quite obsessed with my partners and didn't trust them but I feel like with him I can trust him and I feel safe and secure with him. Now I'm still insecure about myself but when I talk to him it's just like I want him to be okay and I'm concerned about him but not in a sense that I want the conversation to be better again like my other relationships but I do it out of no like expectations ? Idk how I feel about him is weird and I want to know him more and more. It's like a slow burning thing, and I'm so curious about him. And I'm happy to be patient with him

what happened with the other relationships anyway? trust is earned, it's naturally to feel insecure in a relationship where you think you love that personally much more than they love you.

>Making commitments like marriage or kids?
well yeah but I meant more like making a commitment to really love a person, which is essentially an informal marriage. You have to love someone unconditionally, you really have to love their soul. The technical term is agape. Loving them for their appearance (eros) and personality (phillia) are very important too but they are secondary if you really love a person you can't stop even if you want too, the only thing that breaks it is infidelity, this is sort of the whole basis for marriage, you symbolically become one flesh.

again have you met him in real life? Patience won't work, if he isn't initially interested in you it's not going to work. You need an ember to kindle a flame. again you get to know him and while you are in a relationship.

I know its very scary that you think you will come off too soon and "ruin" it but i'm telling you it has to happen. you can make it see like it's not serious and you just kinda have a crush on him and want to meet him irl if you haven't already, if you do know him in person you are just going to have to confess. it's sad that those who care about a person the most have the hardest time telling them they are interested, when it's not hard at all to ask someone out you just find is attractive.

don't convince yourself you are being patient. You have everything to gain and nothing to lose from telling him you are interested in a relationship.

Teenager virgin giving advice on adult relationships: the post.

Only angry virgins post those meme graphs unironically.

You aren't an adult until you are married with children with a stable job and a house of your own. You should know this by how the older members in your family treat you.

stop trolling and derailing the thread so its about you and your war with some incel tripfag.

Teenager projecting what people have told him to believe: the post.
You mistake avoiding adulthood for adulthood. It would be funny if it weren't so sad.

My other relationships kinda failed,I didn't have sex with anyone I have done sexual things but I did get cheated on and abused by a guy for about a year when I was younger until I finally said enough is enough. The next one was irl and my mental health and other circumstances kind of impacted this relationship. I like this guy a lot, but I just want to wait a bit longer to really confirm my feelings before I rush into things. I kinda feel like he likes me back in a way since he does things to suggest this that I haven't really told about. Unfourtionalkt this is long distance and I know that everyone is going to say it is stupid and invalid but I really can't help but liking him, so I just want to see how things go. I have seen his face before and I did a reverse google search on him and no other results came back so he is real, I have heard his voice too since we called and talked for awhile actually. I think for now i'lol just see how shit goes, I think he might be waiting for me to make the first move since he is pretty awkward about relationships.

You obviously know nothing about relationships so why do you bother?

Nobody cares about tripfags, just expect to get laughed at if you post those meme graphs and expect anyone to take you seriously.

I'm sincerely sorry about your bad decisions but it's blindingly arrogant to assume that just because someone didn't walk down your path that they weren't walking at all.

>really confirm my feelings before I rush into things.
How you you rushing into things? You aren't going to be having sex or getting married right away. Starting a relationship will just let you two spend ore time together, if he doesn't want to you'll have to find someone else. You can confirm your feelings as things go on.

honestly meeting you in person is a big step to agree to so if he agrees he's likely fairly "committed" it's just important to set the ground that you are interested in persuading a relationship, even if it's just as silly internet bf/gf at first.

and for the love of god talk to each other on webcam/videochat or whatever as much as possible. (and don't be an idiot and do cyber sex nonsense)

I don't care if people like you don't take me seriously, I can't reason with the unreasonable.

i'm going to bed OP. tell him you have a bit of a crush on him or something and see where it goes from there. Eventually meet up in person etc etc. Take it as slow as you want just make it clear what direction you are taking it slow in.

I don't want to get your hopes up in worst case scenario but he might be awkward and instinctively say no but actually want to, sort of like a polite person refusing money or food or whatever as a gift, so don't close all lines right away unless it's clear he's just not attracted to you or has someone else he is persuading.

You are the one whose gonna have to confess the feelings. I know it's tradition for the guy to do it but tradition isn't worth potentially letting the whole thing fall apart. Maybe you can get a friend to tell him you have a crush on him or something if you really need to. (not that you tסld them to tell him but that they are just telling the secret"

You literally advocated getting married at 18 immediately after knowing each other. Since I doubt you have actually done that the only other possibility is that you are a sheltered teenager.

>unreasonable
The only thing unreasonable here is spamming meme graphs that have been debunked ages ago that do nothing but show everyone how angry you are that other people are having sex.

lol you are really this triggered those graphs Blew you the fuck out?

You are clearly the black sheep in this thread. go fight the the good fight "debunking" those evil incels on reddit.

guys want to commit, you always choose the popular handsome little shit who has plenty of options and quite frankly they arent grown up enough to even handle that kinda popularity

pull for underage gf

You're trying to hijack the thread your "hurr sex is bad" memeing. Give it up and go back to Jow Forums.

Because 90% women today are whores.