I'm in a relatively new relationship that started as an affair in that she was cheating on her (now ex) boyfriend of ~4 years with me. She pursued me for a long time while I wasn't interested since I've been cheated on in the past and it completely changed who I was. I simply didn't want to get emotionally involved.
After time, she showed me how much she cares for me: making efforts to share my interests and being generally very selfless. Eventually we'd got to a stage where I began to develop feelings and so made it official.
Then she tells me that she cheated on her ex once before. She told me it with a voice of complete remorse and self-hatred of which I told her to not let herself down over a past she cannot change when she's a different person now.
She promised to me that she would never do such a thing to me, to which I raised the point she'd have told her ex the same after the first time she cheated and he welcomed her back.
She explains that she cheated because he was manipulative and controlling, however I always think these are just poor excuses to try to reassure yourself that it in some way was justified.
Additionally, I know that promises made in the heat of emotions are often unsubstantiated when the relationship hits a bump in the road.
Still, I decided to give her a chance because I believe it is unfair to make assumptions of the future based on their past. I like to believe that people are capable of change, however naive that may be of me.
My question to you, Jow Forums, is: have I made the right decision or am I bound to get hurt in the future by her cheating on me.
She WILL cheat... ahe may hold out for years even, but ahe will cheat.
Brayden Long
apologies for reddit spacing
Bentley Collins
She will cheat and make an accused as to why. She will find a new branch to swing to and her hamster will run on its wheel to find a reason as to why you are the bad guy and what she did was ok. Dont get comfortable and prepare for the inevitable.
Gabriel Bennett
LOL Do you really have to ask this? If she did it on her past bf she will do it with you. Goodnight faggot have fun being with your slut gf.
Josiah King
The only thing for me is that although she cheated on her ex multiple times, he was the only person she'd been properly involved with.
I feel that a pattern can only be properly established when someone repeats the same actions on multiple people. My issue is that I may be that second instance in the pattern.
Oliver Cruz
She will cheat on you and use the good old "but you knew how i was going in to this relationship" excuse. t.happened to me
Caleb Martinez
see this is why I come to Jow Forums rather than asking on some faggot forum where they tell me what I want to hear. appreciate the brutal honesty.
Evan Walker
OP I would suggest to her to enter therapy and work out her cheating issue with a professional. If she’s willing to do that, I think she’s worth a chance. If she refuses, I think you know why.
Cheating is a fucked up behavior and doesn’t spawn in a vacuum. She needs help.
Ian Sanders
She will cheat.
William Morales
relationships which women initiate always fail because they do not ever know what they want, they are fickle beings, secondly, you switch roles and that will come out over time as they still desire men
Christopher Johnson
I did the same thing. I cheated on my ex boyfriend with my now boyfriend. I have asked myself the same question; would I cheat again? I don't think I would, I have no desire to do such a thing. I love this fellow more than anything on this Earth, I cannot speak for the future, but I truly don't think I would cheat again. Our relationship may have started in the right way but everything about it seems so right.
Jackson Jenkins
I had only dated 3 people, including my current boyfriend. I have only cheated once and it was with my 2nd partner. The first relationship was 3 years and the 2nd 1.5 years. Don't listen to all of these people, if she proves her love for you listen to that
Michael Clark
she will cheat. women are children. act accordingly
Colton Gonzalez
>she was cheating on her (now ex) boyfriend of ~4 years with me I'm confused OP. Didn't you know she was pursuing you and fucking you while still with her ex or did she cheat on another ex or did she cheat on another ex and her most recent ex?
If you didn't know she was with someone else and she had to tell both you and her ex she was fucking both of you then she in essence was cheating on you both.
Colton Brown
cheated multiple times with the same guy or cheated with multiple people?
How do you know she didn't pursue the other guy/guys the same she did you and make you all feel special? How do you know she wasn't hoping a new relationship would come from her cheating and the other guy/guys said hell no?
Christian Martin
Hey sorry bro, i know how you are feeling.
Please don't listen to these women here in this thread saying that cheated and would never cheat again. They are just trying to convince themselves that they are not cheating whores.
The problem with this is that you became together with a girl that cheated with you, it's just obvious she will do it again. When she'll feel insecure about your relationship, she will swing to the next guy and do the same, it's just printed in her morals, she think's it's ok to cheat when the relationship has problems.
I've walked into a similar trap, my ex gf did the same. When our relationship had some troubles and i went to work overseas, she took the opportunity to fuck a guy for 1 week, i came home and found out. She cried blabla i wasn't paying enough attention and all this crap.
She found a new guy (we still live closeby) Then i fucker her sooner when she was dating the guy (didn't know they were dating) and i heard a rumor later that she fucked yet another guy in his room, he forgave her and they are still together, don't be that guy OP.
Logan Lewis
What comes around, goes around...
>karma
Daniel Myers
>Then she tells me that she cheated on her ex once before yeah she told you she did it once, but who knows how may times and how long. i was involved with a girl like this, said she'd never bring cheating into another relationship. well guess what, she cheated on me with this guy she dated like 8 years ago because i was too emotionally stable (read: boring) for her. fuck all that dude
Carter Gutierrez
It should be a nonissue for you because you don’t respect relationships. If she cheats, yeah well...
It depends. How old is she? Physically and mentally? If she is 30s with a mature personality then it's less likely. At least partially because her value as a partner is dropping. However a pattern of cheating and/or promiscuity would also raise the risk.
Gabriel Murphy
Why did you guys cheat?
Gabriel Myers
She will cheat in my opinion. She will find someone better than you and then boom. Someone richer, taller, whatever. Be carefull bro.
David Flores
Once and always, nibbz. All it takes for a cheater is finding the excuse.
Lucas Walker
Dudes on Jow Forums have never been in love or real relationships so take it all with a grain of salt.
With ANY relationship. You just don't know. You can either keep it or cut it based on the past. You literally just never know.
Angel Robinson
>you just never know That's true of 100% of life. Things happen all the time. There's the notion of spontaneous death, even. That being said you can at least attempt to glean some sort of idea using information you have.
Brayden James
I poisoned the last girl who cheated on me
Colton Stewart
$600 worth of monero
at least admit your wrongs when you get caught whores
Andrew Nguyen
Bro, just enjoy the moment, start to thinking on this, when it happens, otherwise just let it be. no one its safe of to be cheated, but your decision when you discover such thing that really matters.
Jordan Harris
Besides the obvious answer everyone is giving you, let's assume in her past she cheated. Even still any relationship that started as an affair is doomed to failure, because it has already been established as accepted behavior. If she doesn't cheat she will relapse from guilt.
Joshua Nelson
This should also be a life lesson for you OP. If you like someone, and they like you more then their current partner you should convince them to have a conversation with them and break up properly. Initiating an affair tells them that it is okay to cheat if you are unhappy.
Evan Phillips
I don't think the once a cheat always a cheat can be applied across the board. I was very unhappy in my previous relationship and cheated with my current. Who i would never in a million years cheat on. If you are with the right person the thought will Never enter your mind
Matthew Powell
Right but she will be more likely to be cheating on you...
Asher Johnson
I Agree with what you post, but consider your values vs hers.
How old are you? Do you see yourself living with a person like that? Do you see yourself leaving home and coming back at 5-7 pm while shes at home alone? Do you see yourself having children with this woman?
Hows the pussy game?
This thoughts you have will always be in the back on your head
Jose Cox
The problem is no matter how unhappy you are in a relationship you always have the option of ending that relationship properly. Cheating alongside other actions that are major breaches of trust (especially towards someone you are close to) are seen as some of the lowest and most immoral actions
Yes I agree that people can be redeemed if they learn from their mistakes, but that involves taking ownership of wrongs committed and making amends. There is never a justification or excuse that makes such an action allowable, and yet many people who have done it then go onto claim they would never do it again always try to make excuses as to why what they did was okay instead of; owning up to their actions, apologizing to the people they have hurt, and vowing to do better going forward with whomever they go out with next.
. The OP is correct to have a massive problem with it, moreso because that is how the relationship started. Starting a relationship that way signifies to both her and the OP that it is okay to do such things to the other should they ever become unhappy in the relationship.
Carter Nelson
We became really close, our interests were more in sync than they were with my now ex. So we were spending a lot of time together and became quite close.. The build up of our relationship was a form of innocence.. There was no sex, it was kind of like a high school build up.. After about a month of closeness (we had known each other for a year before this) we kissed... Then we kissed a lot. I feel so close with him that I decided to break it off with my now ex.. Still after the break up my now boyfriend and I didn't have sex for months.. Everything about our relationship was an innocent build up.. Apart from the fact that I was with someone else.
The reason I wasn't loyal to my ex is the same reason your current gf wasn't loyal. He was controlling and manipulative as all hell, he stopped me from feeling like myself (I am aware that is my own weakness), he changed me a lot.. Then the time I spent with my now boyfriend made me feel like myself again, we just have so much fun together and laugh a lot and the joy felt is indescribable. Everything that was lacking in my relationship with my ex was present in my boyfriend. Another reason my ex and I didn't work is we disagreed on things on a fundamental level. It was not going to work. I had planned to break up with him before my boyfriend ever came along.. I guess that was just the push.
I understand that I should have been stronger and went about things differently, but it is what it is. I love my boyfriend and I would not cheat.. Our relationship isn't based in lust, which in a way makes it more substantial in my opinion.
Levi Murphy
Iirc studies show it tends to fall in to one of two categories:
Once and never again. Or Repeat, habitual offenders.
Up to you to figure out which she is and how much you want to trust her.
Luis Baker
I don't think the "Once a cheat, always a cheat" thing is necessarily true. There's LOTS of reasons someone might cheat. It's shitty behavior and the correct option is always to break up with the person but sometimes it isn't that simple at the time. To be frank, you just can't know how cheating feels until you've done it, in the same way you can't KNOW what something is like until you've tried it. There's a lot of emotions that come with cheating and while some people don't have an issue with doing it, another person might easily come to the conclusion that it's not worth the emotional hassle and decide it's not for them.
That said, once it happens in a relationship, that relationship may as well be a write-off because the damage is already done. So in my opinion, if there isn't a history of multiple partners then it shouldn't necessarily be a sign they'll re-offend.
Robert Butler
samefag i think that everyone who wants to change, it changes. only takes time and effort, if you're a good guy filled with real love, then you will not worry about she cheats or not. real love is about givin without expecting love in return, if you think like this samefag or multiple introvert faggots, you relationship will be full of unconfidence and stuff. if she cheats on you and you notice that, just leave her and move on. real love is a big trip, and i think you'll find no advice in this moron lair
greetings from chile
Juan Butler
I ultimately cheat on every bf I've ever had. whats wrong with me? everything can be fine and then, whoops
Kevin Thompson
If she cheated with you she'll cheat on you
Cooper Gutierrez
Cunt
Dominic Kelly
I was in your situation with my ex, OP. Hell, maybe you're even dating my ex.
If she's anything like my ex, she cheats because she hasn't the spine to simply break things off when she wants to leave, and insists she has to cheat in order to truly burn the bridge.
Do what you will, but don't expect it to be smooth sailing.
