Around 3 months ago I was at a party with a girl. My memory's pretty sketchy, but I can remember that we were both very drunk and she got sick. I helped her stagger back to her place and she insisted I lie in bed with her and she started to kiss me. I kissed back, she touched my groin, and we started to make out and I removed her top without objection. Kissed her tits for a bit, she seemed apathetic about it, stopped to let her rest. Then she started to kiss me again and I tried again, before we eased off in the same way as before. This happened a third time, and as I was sobering up I realised that this wasn't going anywhere and I didn't want to do anything she regretted, so I tucked her in, got her a glass of water, and left.
A few days ago she approached me at a party with some friends when I was with some of my own and accused me of molesting her and being a sexual predator. I basically said nothing, and she was running off of indignation and so on. I'm very straight-laced and usually avoid casual shit, and being called a predator is humiliating and possibly engendering of ostracism.
I have a strong self-flagellating streak and so I've been replaying things ad nauseum in my head for the past few days to try to figure out where I went wrong, if I did. I also feel very embarrassed since a few women acquaintances of mine are avoiding me and openly challenging and talking down to me in public. It's really put me down.
What should I do? Was I in the wrong? How should I go about this to my friends?
The best thing you can do is write down everything that happened in AS MUCH DETAIL AS YOU CAN, this way if she does decide to go to the police you already know what to say, if her story has inconsistencies and yours doesn't it will make her look bad. Other than that I would try to stay away from her, she hasn't done anything yet and might just be mad because you (I'm assuming) didn't get into contact with her for 3 months. I would NOT say sorry to her on a phone, etc., because that makes you look guilty
Oliver Jackson
See her privately. Tell her what happened and how calling you a rapist is not cool. If she doesn't seem reasonable, go directly to the police and file a complaint. Tell them how she came on to you while you were too drunk to consent, you left her alone and now she claims that you acted inappropriately.
Christian Stewart
>Tell them how she came on to you while you were too drunk to consent, you left her alone and now she claims that you acted inappropriately. lol shit like that is how you get two people charged with sexually assaulting the other
Joseph Rogers
I don't think she's planning on going to the cops. Since no penetration happened and there's no evidence, plus we were both drunk, I don't think she wants to. My big fear is the ostracism - and I didn't cave to her, but a few of her friends cornered me afterwards and suggested that I did it. I said I believed she had no reason to lie and my memory was too poor to provide an adequate counter-narrative; I said I had no excuses or explanation for that behaviour, and only that I don't like drinking in general and I've been trying to reign it in. I'm somewhat paranoid they took that as a confession.
There was some attraction between us, but it definitely wasn't consistent or something that we ever wanted to talk about outside of drunkenness. She doesn't like me because she has very different politics to me and is a bit condescending and self-righteous about it, but seems to get attracted to me when drunk quite easily. We don't maintain regular contact outside of occasionally bumping into one another at parties and dinners. So I don't think she's mad at me, I genuinely believe that she believes what she's saying. I caught her from afar a week after the incident and she blanked me utterly, so that fits into that narrative.
I will take the deets down, though. Would be good insurance.
Ayden Sanders
This sort of shit never happened when I was a teen. Millennials are fucked.
Easton Richardson
"Millenials" means like 30 year olds.
Joshua Williams
Him ten years later still not thinking about it...
I don’t get it. What’s the big deal? So you made out with some ho at a party?
Camden Cruz
In the age of #MeToo everything is suspect, everyone is to blame...
Jaxson Taylor
There's definitely no element of exaggeration on the part of butthurt autists due to the fact that dudes are now being held responsible for the shady shit they do in the shadows.
Luke Morales
butthurt autists get butthurt when they start getting shat on despite never even looking a woman in the eyes. It's an understandable bitterness.
Isaiah Thomas
tell her she molested you when she grabbed your nuts. You were drunk too. instant rap
Zachary Harris
>they both go to the cops >both of them get arrested for sexual harassment >both of them spend the next 3-5 years in jail because they screwed around while they were both drunk yeah this seems like a good outcome
John Ward
Yes. Yes it does. Fuck both of them up for being biologically driven reproduction machines. Punish them for fulfilling their most base instinct.
Lets make it 10 years and mandatory sterilization for the both of them.
Not only that but they both are registered sex offenders 4 life...
Lincoln Hernandez
I can't tell if you're making fun of me but that's exactly what I meant. When some guy who never comes out of his basement unless he's working sees articles about how men like him are somehow at fault he's going to be butthurt. Justifiably.
Blake Harris
Anybody who walks out of their basement and is unable to tell the difference between clickbait articles written by extremist antagonists and the real world deserves to be butthurt. Innocent men are not being being hunted down in the streets and being berated into taking responsibility for hypothetical sexual assaults. That shit is nothing but a Jow Forums fantasy that gaggles full of manbabies cooked up to justify childish victim complexes.
Robert King
>Innocent men are not being being hunted down in the streets and being berated into taking responsibility for hypothetical sexual assaults. Rubbish. Just look at the whole metoo movement and tell me that it's never harmed an innocent man. It's such an exploitable tool for any woman with a grudge.
Connor Green
>ust look at the whole metoo movement and tell me that it's never harmed an innocent man. You're a fucking brainlet. There is a massive difference between arguing that metoo has "never hurt a man" and trying to pretend that metoo is going around in defacto death squads, systematically crushing the lives of innocent dudes. Your strawman sucks.
>It's such an exploitable tool for any woman with a grudge. So is a lot of things. It takes a really special kind of dumbshit to make metoo about how victimized you are. If you can give me one shred of evidence, either in your personal life or in the news, that innocent men are having their lives ruined in substantial numbers by false allegations I'll hand over the keys to this argument right now.
Ryan Moore
>and trying to pretend that metoo is going around in defacto death squads, systematically crushing the lives of innocent dudes and you talk about strawmen?
But that's the thing, there's often no evidence either way but thanks to the media his reputation takes a massive and permanent hit. The guilt is assumed regardless of reality.
Easton Brown
>and you talk about strawmen? Second brainlet alert of the night. I merely used the extreme examples to highlight how extreme your shitty examples were. You were the one who made the claim to begin with, user. Apparently your reading comprehension is extremely low.
>But that's the thing, there's often no evidence either way Ok, so there is no evidence that the thing you're claiming is happening is happening, correct? That's all I needed to know.
Noah Jackson
>evidence that the thing you're claiming is happening is happening exactly. Just like the majority of these accusations.
Lincoln Evans
Even before #MeToo, there are a plethora of cases of men being tried for rape as revenge.
My own ex of 7 years went and filed for a TRO on me for beating her. All because I wouldn’t take her back. I only won the case because I submitted my airline tickets showing that I was residing 5000 miles away (she didn’t know I moved away over seas...), otherwise the judge probably would have believed her makeup smeared body shots that looked a lot like bruises. I was permitted to appear in court by telephone because the local police confirmed I was there and not in her city anymore.
Ryan Foster
You were asked to provide evidence and were unable to do so. You're exactly as he said: A man pretending to be a potential victim on the internet for no reason at all. Get some hobbies.
Matthew Johnson
>Just like the majority of these accusations. Hey bud, where's your proof?
Jason Richardson
>Even before #MeToo, there are a plethora of cases of men being tried for rape as revenge. False. Statistically, you are more likely to be raped then to be falsely convicted of rape. You are more likely to be falsely convicted of robbery, assault, murder, kidnapping etc., Your anecdotal stories don't mean shit. False rape allegations are statistically rare. That is an objective fact that isn't up for debate.
Adam Lee
>Guy I went to school with put his dick in crazy, she got pregnant (or possibly was already pregnant >demanding he marries her, she has a miscarriage. >he stops contacting her, she goes to police and files rape charges, her hospital visit from the miscarriage helps corroborate her story. >He gets arrested and charged with rape, only in court when he was about to found guilty did she have a meltdown and crying confesses that she made it up... >still took over a year to fully clear his name. >People still remember him as a rapist.
>thinks that an article about one student being falsely accused of rape is evidence of a pattern you are an incredible idiot
Jose Lee
>provide evidence that it happens >here you go >no provide evidence that there's a pattern of it happening
Ian Diaz
Are you being serious right now? Are you trolling? Be honest. You claimed that there was a pattern of false allegations and then failed to provide any evidence. How are you not understanding this?
Isaac Peterson
Nobody is disputing that it happens, they are disputing the idea that the majority of sexual assault cases involve a false accusation.
Aaron Rivera
>claimed that there was a pattern of false allegations where?
Thomas Collins
Ok, lets take a step back. What exactly do you think an article about one person being falsely accused of rape proves? Like, what point does it make?
I'm not trying to make a point, I'm just expressing my frustration at people who are completely dismissive of false rape accusations.
Hunter Edwards
>I'm just expressing my frustration at people who are completely dismissive of false rape accusations. False rape cases are statistically rare. Like, its cool that you feel really passionate about people who get bitten by sharks but it doesn't make it less rare. Statistically, there are an infinite amount of more things that should take precedent over false rape allegations. I feel sympathy for the people who lives have been ruined but in the greater scheme of things its just not really a problem, user, regardless of how strongly you feel about it.
Gavin Davis
What about this user...
Xavier Long
while I agree that false rape cases are going to be much rarer than real rape cases the difficulty in determining the truth either way makes the statistics pretty dubious. Perhaps if people who push movements like metoo were willing to acknowledge instances where they've damaged innocent lives and give them the support they're willing to give other victims they might look more sympathetic. Also, a lot of people are scared shitless of sharks.
Jaxon Myers
Nothing that I'm saying is meant to detract from his position or minimize his pain but the emotional devastation of the event doesn't change the fact that its statistically rare. Its the same reason super rare genetic disorders don't have multi-million dollar research grants the same way big diseases like childhood lukemia and HIV does; because the affected group is so small compared to others.
I mean, emotional argument aside, what would you like us to do about a problem that is extremely statistically rare? Like I said, you are statistically more likely to be raped than to be falsely convicted of rape so technically our efforts would be better spent preventing male rape, right? You are more likely to be falsely imprisoned for literally hundreds of other crimes.
All I'm saying is that arguments like these are always more emotional than pragmatic. I really feel for people who are victims but, unfortunately, there are more pressing epidemics at hand. You know, like actual, legitimate rape.
Angel Lewis
y A multi-site study of eight U.S. communities including 2,059 cases of sexual assault found a 7.1 percent rate of false reports (Lonsway, Archambault, & Lisak, 2009).
Thus the probability that an American woman is raped in her lifetime is 2.6 percent.
Brody Stewart
>Mfw I would rather see 100 guilty men go free than a single innocent man go to jail
In the future unless you were together and both agreed to anything before drinking I think it's better not to engage when they or yourself are in a drunken state because your mind simply cannot process things as well. You should have not engaged and let her rest and left. Listing her top off and doing what you did she was apathetic because that's what being drunk does to you.
Jaxson Roberts
I read most of your posts and it is evident that you are incredibly stupid. but i think you are just baiting
Benjamin Hughes
he already said she doesn't plan on going to the cops. but if he goes to the cops and accuses her of rape, like some of the people in this thread are suggesting, she'll probably take him down with her
on the plus side it would make a hilarious news story
Jackson Morales
Deny it. Admit to nothing. Figure out your story and stick to it but admit to nothing sexual at all at any point ever. You just helped her to her room and left.
Angel Powell
women get paranoid sometimes and have hazy memories when drunk. I drank with a girl one time who takes her clothes off sometimes when she gets drunk. She thought I was the one taking her clothes off one time when I was 100% passed the fuck out on the couch next to her. Maybe you should try to talk and explain what you remember.
Grayson Peterson
Considering that you don't actually have any kind of intelligent response to my posts and are merely resorting to name calling as a form of dismissing my points the only one here who is demonstrably stupid here is you.
Mason Brooks
You helping her home indicates you were in a better mental condition than she was. You should have left and not taken advantage of a drunken girl.
Jack Robinson
The biggest mistake you made was going home with her and going inside with her while she was black out drunk. I understand being a gentleman but you should have asked her for her phone so you could call one of her friends to come get her. Any experienced guy would have never taken the risk you did because it's her word against yours and while in a court of law that won't suffice, your school will take her side, the public outrage machine will take her side and you could fuck yourself over all because you went home with some drunk slut you barely knew. If she's that drunk call her friend or a cab, anything more you're putting yourself at risk.
Sebastian Stewart
excellent bait and dubs to boot
Xavier Parker
She's obviously a Crazy Horny Bitch...
And The Double Standard is an even bigger bitch than you think.
That's why you always record Sex Tapes of your Night Stands as proof that you're innocent.
Mad Women will do anything just to see you get your Skull Caved in with a Ball Peen.
Alexander Williams
always ensure you videotape any encounters for evidence in the future and post them on gif
Luke Baker
Never ever go anywhere with a drunk bitch on your own. Call a taxi or leave her passed out on the sidewalk, anything but putting yourself at risk like that.
