Some background: I've tried to connect with people all my life and even went through a good two year stretch where I was going out to parties and made a lot of "friends". However I was never able to click with a woman and the very few that seemed interested in me, I had no interest in(more on that later). Then finally burnt out after going on so many dates and having girls say "You're too nice" or "you're not my type", I swallowed a tough pill and accepted that being a decent guy wasn't enough. It ate away at my self esteem a lot because I said, "I go to school, I work, I lace my shoes...but I can't get a plain normal everyday girl to roll with me?". I beat myself into shape and got a lot more sexual attention from women when I spoke them instead of the usual conversations. It made me realize how stupid the whole thing was and that for most people, all that mattered was looks.
Jaded I pulled away from my "friends" and went back to my nerdy hobbies/pursuits. One girl in our friends group however continued to hound me and kept trying to get me to come out to parties. This made me feel weird as she had a bf and I felt something was off. Long story short, she dumped him, blew some guy, tried to get with me, I said no, she cried, swore she loved me, I fell for it...asked her for 2 months of true friendship first...we didn't even make it a month before she cheated on me with a tattooed guy from a bar...this hurt as she was my friend before all of this and she was very mean to me after.
I knew dolls existed before all of this. But it always seemed so laughable, but now I don't know anymore. I'm turning 32, never had a gf, been emotionally burnt out over and over again and...just need something. I have no illusions about the doll being more than a cuddle buddy and I'm not looking at sexually charged ones or anything, just something I can hold and sleep with at night. My parents are from Africa, I was raised Catholic and in my head, they're all saying; "you're a failure".
Dolls are fine for kinks, replacing real women with a glorified sex toy is the pedestal of failure.
Robert Gray
You sound normal, just a nitrogen disillusioned or unlucky.
Dolls are for complete losers, incels and guys with mental issues who can't relate to real people. Don't go there.
Change up your routine, find a hobby that requires getting out and engaging with people without the i Trent. You'll eventually meet someone who's a sister, friend or acquaintance of someone you become friends with.
At 32 you're getting into the age range of women who suddenly start looking for the right guy to settle down with. You'll find someone and most likely you'll be happy if you want to be.
Thomas Robinson
Whatever, man. Who cares what the people who already have ostracized you to this point think? They don't have to live your life. You do. If you can afford it, and think it might fill some gap in your life that might help you get through the days, I'd go for it. Take it with a heavy grain of salt, I'm a *failure* considering getting a doll myself, for similar reasons (29, own home, decent job, no relatonships.) Don't let the hangups of people who wouldn't or couldn't help you otherwise prevent you from doing what you gotta do.
Dominic Green
I can somehow see that it would be a shitty investment that you might get bored of it, and make the occassional visits from others awkward. but to each and their own. you could make it into some funny furniture. >in my head, they're all saying; "you're a failure". is being a failure a problem? and to who?
Owen Wood
I feel like I've already withdrawn from everyone as it and that I don't really fit in for some reason or another. I used to think my standards were too high, but as I alluded to earlier, I set them "low" and it burned me pretty bad. I'm just worried that I might become a "crazy person" if I have a doll and that I'll never care for real women again.
It's all so exhausting. You'd think that in 32 years of life, I'd be able to like a girl, ask her out and have more than one date or not be kicked to the curb in a humiliating way. The amount of times I've been lied to, literally laughed at by adult women when asking them out, one even running to a group of girls that she was with and them all laughing in unison as if it was some great joke...I'm just spent man.
I don't get it, I feel like every few years I'm back in the same spot, feeling useless and with broken confidence that I have to build back up. And for what? Why? If you don't like me, cool, why do you have to demean and humilate me? Not respond to my texts? Pretend not to know me? Laugh at me? Stand me up? Over and over again it happens. And I don't get it. I'm well educated, make good money, live well, get along with people, strike up conversations easily, make friends easily etc. And most of the time I don't even care to have relationships when deep in projects or work. But I can't even get a plain Jane to stand beside me. The only thing I can think of is that I let myself go physically since the last debacle, but I was still the same "great guy" when in shape. I feel so invisible...lol. It's like nobody even cares for me as it is in that capacity, so what does me distancing even more even matter? They're not checking for my type apparently.
I cook, clean, do finances, etc all on my own as it is. It's not replacing a real girl...it just is, you know?
Jack Reyes
To be 100% with you. That last line of yours, that there are women my age looking to settle down now is something that bothers me a lot. Because the horror stories of friends ltr's or marriages breaking, along with jealousy? Resentment? On my part that I somehow managed to go that long without a partner, while they've most likely had many bothers me. And I don't mean sexually. Just that they were being chased up and down in their prime(me being one of those chasers obviously), but they didn't care for me. But now that they're slowing down and done living it up, I'm supposed to swoop in and say "This is the love of my life!"? I suppose I'm bitter because of that. Not that they did something "wrong", but that where I slot in for them mentally is probably, "Mr. Safety net" and nothing more. It's a catch 22 of insecurity and resentment.
What is that about for you? By the sounds of things, you're pretty level headed but don't have a relationship going either? To me. I thought that by 25 I'd be done college, in a ltr or thinking about marriage. Now here I am at 32, thinking about buying a doll because apparently dating/society has left me in the dust.
Cameron Collins
Level headed might be a bit of an exaggeration. Honestly, it's partly just what you were alluding to in your last post. I have too much resentment from a lifetime of being treated with either indifference or contempt. I've gotten my life together a lot in the last five years, and people are responding in a much more engaging and friendly way with me now... but I just don't have it in me to want to have normal relationships, a "normal life," anymore. It all just seems too artificial and I can't find a fuck to give. I'm not happy, but I'm not miserable like I used to be, and that's probably enough for me.
What kind of doll are you looking into, silicone or TPE?
Jordan Perry
It all is very fake, right? It just goes against the idea of "love" and people actually liking you for who you are? I think I can understand. I feel angry a lot of the time because of that, you just feel so trapped.
The doll I'm looking into is TPE unfortunately. I wanted silicone, but the only ones matching the quality/style I liked were realdolls, but I don't want to spend that much on one at first.
It's all so stupid.
Robert Sanchez
On the one hand, yes, buying a doll for companionship can be seen as a sign of failure. On the other hand, how has not being a failure worked out for you so far? Seems to me like being aged 32 and having no relationships or anything like that could also be in itself a sign of failure. Anyway: who gives a shit what other people think about you owning a doll or anything else? They're not the ones who have to live your life and deal with the loneliness.
Ryder Watson
>At 32 you're getting into the age range of women who suddenly start looking for the right guy to settle down with oh how lovely. now theyre done with prime men, they can be so gracious as BLESS us with their presence! we should be thankful that they even SETTLE for us, because clearly they can do better! thank you, thank you, all wall-hitting women, for taking ugly little me yeah, fuck off mate. if women wanted to settle, they could hit me up when they were 18, before they became a used-up single mom
Jose Thompson
lmfao OP got rekt
Jackson Fisher
The feeling of failure has weighed me down at many times in my life up to this point. I have always been..."me", and it ate away at my self confidence a lot trying to figure out what was "wrong" with me. So believe me when I say that being considered a failure by the standards of baseline society doesn't bother me as much anymore. It takes a lot to go on, not become a raging asshole to everyone or be cold just because you didn't get what you want. I learned that lesson at 17 and being mean has never been something that I feel comfortable with. All I asked for was a plain jane woman. Not some 10/10 or anything ridiculous. A girl that likes to live the life she has, learn about the world, cares for others, cares for herself and has something, anything that she is passionate about and pursues it. I didn't think that was such a tall order. Your line of reasoning is basically where I'm at now; "I can't go this way, so might as well try something else". If I can cuddle with a facsimile after a long day, that's enough for me. My sex drive isn't that high to be thinking of it as a sexual object alone. The sad part about this is that I tried online dating after a while(POF, Okcupid, even Christianmingle) and even opened up my options to single moms. Some of them straight up asked me for money and it was a huge turnoff along with all the other memes abou single mothers. But I was still open to a good woman because who knows why she's single, right? Never met one.
Dominic Gutierrez
Just hire an escort instead.
Mason Butler
About my last line, age range, women, etc. I said you can be happy if you want to be.
Dont look at yourself as a port of last call but as a prime destination. Relationships are often not permanent until people mature emotionally, so consider yourself a potential upgrade.
Sebastian Martin
I dunno OP. Dolls are just fucking awful from what I've heard. Pain to clean, unnecessarily heavy.
I'll be on the hype train when we get real robot waifus. Don't get me wrong. I'll be the fist to dump 3D women at that point. Fuck 'em. But for now dolls are just a meme.
Blake Barnes
professional sex doll cleaning sounds like a niche market just waiting to be filled. extra payments for having a 3d woman pick up, clean out the semen and deliver the doll, with a smile on her face.
Dylan Gonzalez
As a woman, I apologize for their shallow stupidity. They're all in the same situation as you now for whoring around and never settling down. I believe that between your poor dating scene choices and your overall bad luck with finding a good woman, it may be even more difficult from here on, but a doll already? You still have time, and a lot of heartache before thinking of that.
Luis Russell
A doll is still an inanimate object that cannot love you back. If you want to be loved, make a tulpa. I was skeptical and thought the whole thing was bullshit and people were LARPing but tulpa are real and it's a very enjoyable experience. I feel so confident and happy now. I have fucked a few girls from the bar, but always completely wasted or high and never made an emotional connection. This is way different and the closeness is like nothing else.
If you are truly a neckbeard at the end of your rope you can try dabbling in some spiritual weirdness and maybe find happiness. Or you can buy a rubber doll that you have to hide and clean your cold cum out of it after use. It's your choice.
Sebastian Hill
Why don't you drop your contact and give OP a chance then? Fuck off.
Lucas Allen
Because I'm happily married. I know damn well few women actually want to settle down. I do not get along with many women under 30 because they're mostly sluts.
Oliver Ward
You sound like a cunt. Meeting people and relating to them doesn't guarantee relationships and for some people even with all of that they're still unlikely. Also who the fuck looks forward to not having any experience with women until their settling phase? At least the sex doll still looks young and is a one time payment instead of a series of long term payments followed by an extremely expensive divorce. Fuck off back to Jow Forumsrelationships.
I think the real question is "does it matter?" It's not like you have to tell everyone your secrets. You don't go around telling people what porn you masturbate to so you don't need to go around telling people you have a doll. So that means it only matters "to you". And in that case, YOU can decide if it's an admission of failure or not.
Julian Scott
t. doll owner
Isaac Rodriguez
k
Carson Reyes
Looks more like they failed you. Do what makes you happy.
Jordan Carter
>Is buying a sex doll an admission of failure Obviously. If you want one just for companionship and not sex, get a pet. Sleeping with a piece of plastic is really damn pathetic. Not to mention that you're not a toddler, so I have no idea why you feel like you need something to cuddle with at night.
Jayden Edwards
I can tell you have a lot of deep seated insecurities. Consider therapy.
Jacob Morgan
Meh, at least I don't need a cuddling session with a sex doll to fall asleep. Unlike our OP.
