What should a brother do?

I'm 25 and this year I met my 16yo step brother for the first time.
He lives in a nearby city and has visited me twice already. We have mostly good relations, but last time he has stolen a little bit of money from me. I told him how much does it piss me off, since I pay for him anyway. But the next day when he left I realized he has stolen a knife from me.

Now I'm really mad at him.
Any advice on how to teach the kid how to behave? I don't want to lose a brother, but this behavior is not acceptable.

(also, I was growing as the only child and my father was completely disfunctional, so I never had any models in my life)

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>step brother
abandon the little fucker, he clearly doesn't give a shit for you

He probably doesn't see you as an older brother or someone to respect. I don't see how you could really do much without searching him after he leaves (not gonna happen) or locking your shit up.

Yeah gotta agree with the other user. He's not blood related, so just cut contact. You dont need that in your life. You did just fine as an only child.

>He's not blood related
sure he is. Just as related to me as my grandparents are.

cutting the contact is not an option yet, guys. I'm going to give him another chance.

Classic OP on Jow Forums

ffs, why would I even make the thread if I wanted to listen to your "advice"?

Yeah I don't know. You probably just wanted to hear your own thoughts spelled out by someone else.

is my question really that hard to understand?
if you don't know the answer it's cool, just go away

What do YOU think you should do? Tell us that and we'll share our opinions. I think it's good to not want to cut contact, but I can't personally think of any ways to fix this without damaging the relationship.

well, I wanted to have yet another, more serious conversation with him. This time I'll hide the valuable stuff, even though I really on't want to.
I'm lost here, really. I just wanted to be told how exactly are those things done. What should I tell him? how to show that I'm dead serious, but also that I still want him as my brother and it's only the behavior that I won't accept? Should I show any physical dominance? Should I make him do something (like chores or whatever)?

If you seem physically dominating, he'd probably never visit you again. It'd be scary to be around.

If you make him do chores beyond "picking up after yourself", he probably wouldn't want to visit.

I'd sit down with him, and say "Hey, I know you stole shit from me. I'm willing to forgive you for what you did before, but know that if it's something that happens again, I won't be cool with letting you visit me. If you need help with money or something, ask and if I can help I will. But if you do it without permission you're done here"

Be prepared to ACTUALLY disallow him from visiting for X amount of time. Maybe if he steals again, don't let him visit for a few months. Then again? Dump him, honestly.

it seems you really want to be a good older brother so my advice would be to really get to know the kid on a deeper level. show him you care by being a good listener. ask him questions like, "what did you want to be when you grew up" or "what do you like about the friends you've made in school."
chances are through interactions like this the guy will grow to respect you and stop stealing your shit or at least it will give you an insight into what makes him tick which could be used to better persuade him of shit. maybe the kindness you show him will be an example for him to be a better person in life.
as far as a quick fix show the bugger the consequences of theft in society and realize the implications of being that kind of person.

I really do want to communicate with him properly. I'm a good listener and I have much to say myself as well.
but the problem here is that so far he wasn't open to it at all.
Also, he always comes with his life long friend, who is a good person, but terribly stupid. They talk to each other all the time, which makes it pretty impossible for us to get into some deeper conversation.

I already considered banning the friend from coming along, but I'm a bit afraid that it will scare both of them

The bond you're looking for will only come with time. As you both share more experiences together interactions will become easier.

If you're looking for more 1on1 time invite him out to dinner. I've gotten very close with my older brother after we starting checking out all the local ramen spots and seeing who can handle the spiciest bowls. See if you can bond over something together without explicitly banning the friend because that might bring on some resentment. Speaking of the friend, your brother is probably bringing him around as a comfort zone. Nothing to take personal because you guys were strangers not too long ago and are at different points in your life.

If you're more of a home cooker have them both help you prepare dinner. It's almost a reflex the way people open up when working together toward a common goal.

Hmm. Yeah, I'll try that.
I never thought of that friend as a comfort zone, you're probably right about that.
However, it also seems to me they are just using my house as a free hotel. I wanted to explain that I'm not up for this kind of treatment, but I just don't know how harsh (or whatever else) should I be about it.

You're like a bad father. If you do the whole song and dance of "hurr I'm mad look how mad I am" but you do nothing then all you do is establish with this kid that you're all bark and no bite and he gets worse.
Congratulations on being really classically stupid.

congratulations on giving me no advice at all

I think this one is up to your digression.
Haven't had much experience on housing disputes.
A good rule of thumb would be, "tough but fair."

My final words before I go to father's day lunch with the family is to find men to be models in your life. Maybe not everything about the man, but respectable characteristics you'd like to see in yourself. Things like, charm, open-mindedness, leading by example, challenge seeking, etc. I too have a very dysfunctional father and have struggled figuring these sort of things out. If you wanna do right by this kid I'd say you're gonna have to grow a bit yourself.

Godspeed, user

Smack him I'm the fucking face and take whatever he has on him he's doing it because he thinks you're a pussy

Like you will never get through to the little psycho by acting like a woman. You have to show this fuck that you're the man or he's gonna keep stealing from you because he DOESN'T GIVE A FUCK

thanks for your time and wise words, user. Have a nice day

and yet it's psycho way to bring out your aggression to solve problems

Or here's the best option, you're 25 and he's 16. You're already an adult he's almost there. He's a guest treat him like one until you feel you can trust a 16 year old kid that you don't know around your shit.

Take the knife and run it down his back a number of times equal to the amount of money he took (don't cut deeper than 1/2 inch

I'm not going to fellate you by telling you what you clearly want to hear. Go shit up another board. This board is for advice not your masturbatory quest for self assurance.

bro, we're not on /b/
tell me the truth then and not "what I want to hear" whatever that could be.
as of now you said nothing