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I want to say that I lied to you. I don't see you as a sister. I just see a woman, a woman I've grown to like and feel strongly attracted to. We're adults and we both know you can't always act on every feeling so I'm just going to let it be for now. I didn't expect this and I'm not sure if I'm ready for it.
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I'm not even mad at you anymore. I'm mad at myself for ever entertaining the thought that you and I could be together again. But the way your personality has changed recently has made me lose respect for and resent you because I know this isn't who you are. You're a sweet loving person who has lot's of goals and quirks that I came to be familiar with and love about you, but the fact you can walk away from me after so long and think about life with someone else mean's something about you has changed, and that's not someone I even want as a friend anymore
You are breaking my heart, M
How is M breaking your heart?
If I don't see a person, literally any person, for about 3 days, I just automatically stop feeling anything towards them until I spend an hour or so with them again. Feelings of love included.
Often I feel like a monster.
She wanted to date up, my man. Feminism lets women have power in the worst of ways.
I have a fat fetish B and I am insanely attracted to you. You have no clue how often I've come home after we've gone to the lake and jerked off to your pudgy stomach. Not only that but you are endearing and comforting and hilarious and brilliant and remind me of home. I hide my folders of chubby men with bodybuilder men with soulless faces because I'm too much of a pussy to upset the status quo. I wish I could make you feel better about your weight. It depresses you and I see all the time. One of these days I'm gonna cave and grab your tummy. But probably not. Most likely I'm just gonna have horrible sex with a body I find boring and void of passion. You deserve someone with the balls, to be honest.
I pray I didn't shoot myself in the foot.
I should be ok though. I gave a false lead so they shouldn't suspect.
Hopefully anyway
M is a whore, I agree wholeheartedly.
I got a job far away from my family as my career is mostly in ny. I also met the girl I wanna marry and have been with her three years.
Problem: we are both super family oriented and love our families. A big part of me wants to move close to my family. I would feel guilty taking her away from her family and she feels guilty for "keeping" me from mine. Double wammy is that shes korean and grew up in a super korean area and im a white southerner. Regardless of who goes or stays where, one of us will end up feeling out of place culturaully. We also worried if we had kids, theyd have confused identities. We tried seperating for six months over this problem, but both found ourselves miserable trying to find someone else to fall in love with.
I miss my family so much sometimes and living in the city is so depressing I see why so many people here are such concetied assholes. When Im old, I want to die in the south, not here. But I also feel a soulmate level connection with this woman and at my age it seems like most women have basically already been ruined by how disgusting the dating world is in our modern time.
I have no idea what to do.
I can't get over how I lied to my friends (well not close friends anyway but still). But I can't tell them the truth, they would be pissed at me or disappointed as fuck and think I'm very weird for making up such a story.
Details user
I just lied about not being a virgin and I feel bad now.
All of my 2 friends are going through hard times at the moment. They're both depressed to the shit and shutting everyone out. I live in another town so they mostly hang together, I feel left out unless they want something from me. I was watching the girls I work with get together with their childhood friends and make plans for the weekend, it just made me realize how I don't really have any true friends. I wish I made more effort to make and keep friends.
I'm cutting these 2 friends out now because I really can't be bothered trying for them anymore. It's very tiring hearing them talk about how depressed they are and expect favors from me all the time.
I hope I make a nice friend soon, god knows I need one.
I can't wait to fucking kill myself. I'm buying rope tomorrow and gonna hang myself in the woods. The only people who will care are miles and miles away from me and every day instead I'm reminded by coworkers that I'm weak and their lives are so much worse but they're fine
and I'm just tired of hurting
The industrial revolution was a disaster for the human race.
r
i need to do no contact to get you to miss me but im craving you so bad
i miss you so much and you really made me believe we'd be something together. i was so happy when you said you wanted to find a good neighborhood to move to for our future kids. i was ready to be the mother of your kids and still am.
youve flirted with me for 2 years, dated me for almost a year and now you fucking hate my guts for something thats your own issue, you tried to put the blame on me with my emotional problems but they only got worse because of your actions
i wonder if you really miss me
m
Oh how fucked it is to be absolutely antisocial in an island where 90% of jobs are tourism related.
That and the fact that apparently if you have zero experience while being just 27yo means I must be always disregarded at first glance.
We know Ted.
So this thread seems to be about M so I'll join
M
I don't miss you anymore. I have bad dreams about you still, but I don't want you. I sometimes miss us, how things were but things can never go back to the way they were but more importantly I hated who I was being with you.
I hated that I compromised myself to please you.
Sometimes I wish things were different but they're not.
We're not friends; I don't want to know anything about you, I don't want you to know anything about me.
In damnatio memoriae,
J
joey fuck off let me bitch and moan about ray
i'm not doing "better," my eating disorder is destroying my mind and body
I'm not Joey
Anons,
It seems no matter how hard I try I will never experience love, not even on this imageboard.
M
I feel way too lucky. I'm happy but also unnerved, like this is just to make me unprepared for something terrible later on.
i think this 17 year old girl at my work is crushing on me. i'm in my 20's and god damn it why the fuck does she have to be cute and charming. also I was like 18 yesterday how the fuck am i in this position now, i thought i was still a kid but now i guess im the lecherous old man. god fuckin damn it why am I thinking about her. i feel so bad that im excited to see her again. and yeah, she's got a bangin' body. like all over. dear god why, what is wrong with me. this sucks.
My parents pulled me out of public schooling before second grade, Mom has had physical, hormonal and mental diseases that she didn't know about until my adult "life".
Dad was in the army and retired after his last deployment, and he himself had a manipulative father. He was pretty much never there for me, even when he was home. And now that I'm an adult, he expects me to have the knowledge to go out into the world, interact for the first time socially outside of family, get a job, put myself through college (he's super in debt because his parents were absolute shit baby boomer credit card mortgaging assholes) and have kids. And I'm a fucking closeted gay, nobody fucking knows.
Literally zero encouragement to do anything related to learning, as they were always away, or asleep. I'm afraid that my ingrained habit of being unable to learn at a normal rate is going to prevent me from passing the "I'm definitely not retarded" high school diploma equivalent test.
Anons, i really feel like my life is worth very little in my current state, but any time i try to do something about it i end up strengthening my bad habits.
I'm super rambly because it's hard to write all of this out, lots of key things are missing from this situation.
And the worst part is, only i can fix my situation. I don't know how to do it.
I just cried for the first time in months. I wish I could call you just to hear your voice. To get me off this state. And somehow, I’ve got the feeling I would just get hurt.
Initials of you and them user
I think Elizabeth Moss is ugly and I can't find anything on the internet that agrees with me.
Cant believe youve been talking to other coworkers about me. Youre pathetic amd disgusting. Go die
Initials user
Finally back to the start of the week. The only good thing about it is I get to see you at work again. I know you have missed me and I have missed you C. I just wish our lives could be together instead of this way. I look forward to it.
R
I lost about 75 pounds but now my boobs are small and deflated. I have a nice ass but now I want large tits. I wish I had Christian Hendricks tits and I'm sad because even though I'm small now I'll never have giant, natural tits.
Why do you care? If you think this is about you stop being a gossiping lil bitch.
Curious that's it. It's not me I don't know you, you don't know me.
When I'm happy, I just keep thinking: Fuck, I gotta hurry up and marry her
If God was a gambler, would you make a bet?
Well, God is a gambler. Does that make you sweat?
Get the damn sequence right already.
It's been a mess ever since you HAD to get something that you missed back then.
I feel like I'm fighting for us and you're just fighting me. If I don't hear from you soon then we're done. Clearly you no longer give a shit.
Is what I want to say but I'll probably just ride it out like an asshole until she ends it.
Initials user post initials
im goign to wait for you and i know youre going to wait for me. i see how your status changes and i dont care if your sister wont Iet us taIk im stiII goign to think of you because i know youre thikning of me right now. im starting a journaI of everything im doing, aII the IittIe things that remind me of you and my day. its so hard but im doing okay. i havnt been the same since you died, but i miss you so much rhea, i Iove you - danny
If you don't like me just say it. I'm tired of playing games.
Give your initials user
Is it ever ok to say you miss someone you're not official with?
I haven't seen her in months due to her schooling but classes are over this week. In addition to setting something up, I was gonna comment that i miss her but I feel that's too needy
D
God damnit Tyler just hurry up and leave already. She’s obviously more interested in me and you have to leave soon anyway. So do us all a favor and fuck off
We haven't talked in many years, I don't think we will ever again because I have a husband now and I think you're still upset about the past. But I wish I could tell you how much you mean to me and that I always thought good about you, thought if you're doing well, I was a terrible friend and I you have such a special place in my heart. There's less people like you, Jack if you ever find it in your heart to forgive me. I hope we'll talk again.
Kinda. I don’t like gamba
If you think you might be her why don't you just say something? If you're in a similar situation with anyone why not say something? We can deal with yelling. Its the silence thats fucked up.
Jesus, I hate Father’s Day. I can’t even bring myself to wish a happy one to anybody. I just spend the day thinking about the ectopic or sitting in a dirty underground parking lot and sobbing because it was too dangerous for My ex and I to have kids. I think about how the closest I came was trying to help The kid we fostered and how bad I fucked that up. How not being able to be parents turned every crack in my marriage into a chasm. My dog is the best I’ll ever have, and I’m gonna lose him someday. Christ, that’s depressing. Fuck this day. It only makes me sad because I’ll never be a dad.
There is nothing to get off my chest. Life is good.
Volunteer at the Boys & Girls club
>Hit all the right notes
>Still not a symphony
>Tick all the right boxes
>Still not a passing grade
You have no idea how much this kills me.
It feels like the universe went out of Its way to ensure that we met. While at the same time ensuring that we never become more than friends. It feels like being trapped in some sort of hell and that our first kiss will be the only way out.
Please dont leave me here.
I wish I could figure out my life without you. I want to hate you, but you didn't even do anything bad to me. Just stopped loving me, which is totally understandable. I'm not very exciting and disappoint everyone around me.
I wonder if you will ever think of me as a possible partner in the future. I'm not even that attached emotionally anymore, but I still feel like we're meant to be more than this. You were the most important person in my life. But now I have to lose to gain later.
i liked Jow Forums a lot more when it was so normalfag infested
not all of them are bad people but there is so much circlejerking and facebook tier memes, obvious bait threads that dont die and whatnot now that its really a sad state of affairs and i dont feel like i fit in anymore
Jow Forums still has its good moment for me but its not as frequent as it used to be and it sucks
I want to snug Lauren so god damn badly.
if that girl were my girl I would never cheat on her eevveerrr. I would paint her all day, every day. She's so god damn fucking cute and sexy AF.
AS.
FUCK.
Why do I think about you every night still?
Im so stupid for having these fantasies about you coming back to me, embracing me and saying things like "I know that im the one you love, huh? Good, because your really the only girl I love, im so sorry for what ive caused you after I left. I wish I could reverse time so you could never hurt " passionately
Would you like that?
Because thats how I still feel about you. Ive met many nice guys who wanted me and said I make them happy. But theyre not you.
Would you let me back in your life at all? Would you even let me be your fucktoy?
I wish we were in circumstances where you would give me a second chance. I would be the best girlfriend. I feel like I have improved in my looks and maturity as well. I would genuinely try to make you happy this time
I really wish I could go back and change things even though it probably wouldnt stop you from using me and throwing me away just like everyone else
I hate myself
:(
Real initial?
PTSD is an absolute bitch. Especially when caused by trying to help someone you care the world for.
I'm okay with what happened as long as I can figure out a way to make the flashbacks, nightmares, and distrust in others stop.
I’ll admit that I secretly held feelings for you Ani, you’re pretty even if you told me you didn’t feel like a sexy woman. But I know I made you feel good during our intense kissing sessions. I was selfish enough to almost ruin your fragile marriage. I’ll admit that what I did was wrong in getting you involved with me but I don’t regret what was done between us. I felt that spark of chemistry there in our intimate moments, I know you felt it and sense you wanted more for from me. I want to hear your soft voice, see your face, touch your body, I want feel alive inside you so bad. Unfortunately me never made pass 2nd base. I only hope you’re doing well, I’ve come to accept what transpired and moved on. One day I’ll find someone for me. But for now, I’m personally improving my life slowly and reevaluating my goals. Goodbye, Ani
I am miserable because I am not free.
I know the pain you keep.
You were looking for love. The lack of love and attention you received during your youth made you a bit impatient. Now, you have to live with it for the rest of your life.
You never had a strong father figure. Someone to show you that a real man sticks with his family, through thick and thin.
Maybe join the military. Might seem like a bad idea. But if you aren't entirely retarded. And are able to follow orders. It can be a way out. Might check on Jow Forums for a thread with info.
I can't reveal my last initial. It's too risky.
friendly reminder, my life is not static, I'm looking to move forward both at the personal and career level, I have proved to you already that if a romantic opportunity presents it self to me IRL I will take it, you have also witnessed how far I have come from my neet days, I want you to do the same, don't get bugged down, move forward, I might shit post you at first, but I would be truly happy for you if you do.
ffs don't do what I did and shit post your 20s away.
S
Dear S. I love you. I'm sorry I fell for you. I wish I wasn't 20 years older than you. I would still be with you if you could accept that.
Too late.
we will go to underground Tokyo.
I already have an idea of exactly how you feel about me. The way you act with me lately, especially compared to the way you act with him, says it all. But I just want to hear it straight from you.
If you're tired of me just say it already.
So, you wondered if I was joking but also you're "happily married" and brought your spouse along for the ride this time.
I wasn't joking. But now I have no idea what to do about it. Fuck.
I want to give up on being alive because I'm tired of being sick. I am a burden to everyone.
ㅂㄱㅅㄷㅁㅇㅇ
ㅇㅍㄷㅁㅇㅇ
ㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠㅠ
I've been feeling empty inside lately. I really miss you.
Seeing your face makes me happy, even though I know I will never have you.
I'm a born coward.
I wish you would text back sooner than 6 hours after I text you.
A few weeks ago an user tried to tell me about mindfulness and I accused him of being phony and pretentious. I just wanted to say that I'm sorry. His words actually did get through and things are really looking up for me with that change in perspective. I meditate now and exercise, and it helps a lot. I still have a lot of repressed anger I have to get through but I no longer feel hopeless.
Once again I'm sorry and thank you for your input.
It wasn't like that, entirely.
I just couldn't keep going. You're going to have a great life without me.
I wish you stuck it out longer. Things would've been fine. If only you'd been a little stronger we could've made it work. Without you in my life I feel empty. I wish you were still mine...
Now I just want to thank you
For going insane
Every second that you suffer
Is a loss that I gain
Every breath is a drain down
Down into a hole
And your mind is a shrinking thing:
It was crushed by your skull
Now you feel time unfolding
Deep in your chest
And your body's expanding
Now there's none of you left
So I just want to thank you
For losing your mind
Yeah you burned just like Joan of Arc
Purified by the flames
You're alive! You're alive!
You're alive! You're alive!
You're alive! You're alive!
You're alive!
Now I just want to thank you
For the light that you spread
And magnesium and sulphur
And the fear in your head
And I just want to tell you
You're nothing so new
Every time that you touch it
It'll turn against you
Now your future's a cold thing
Down in the damp ground
And your memory's a lead room
Containing this sound
So I just want to thank you
For killing your mind
All the life that you bleed out
Well I steal it for mine
You're alive! You're alive!
You're alive! You're alive!
You're alive! You're alive!
You're alive!
I still love you, you know. In another life...
I think you're in love with G.
It hurts.
You criticize him but if say something about him you don't like it lol it's actually adorable...
but I want your love.
I'm jealous.
I'm torn.
I want your happiness but I need mine. I feel like I need you.
I actually need to finally accept that you're just my friend
but I'm so stubborn and I want it...
so much
I'm going to lose my best friend of 4 years tomorrow and that hurts.
I'm going to die here. They are going to torture me to death and no one is going to do a damn thing about it. They will just keep delaying my release every single time. Delay after delay after delay and no one will do anything about it.
I'm going to die here. They stole my life from me. They stole my dreams.
I'm losing romantic and sexual interest in my gf, although I still care for and love her in a platonic way. I am also crushing madly on a girl whom I'm not that close with. They both share the same birthday.
I feel anxious about her not keeping in contact. I truly think I waited too long and she lost interest.
I texted her a few hours ago and I'm feeling antsy. Granted I still have the rest of the day but I'm not sure if I should text again on Wednesday
Where is here?
Huntington Indiana.
A hellhole they are keeping me prisoner. They don't let me earn any money and then punish me for not having any money. They refuse to give me my medications. Every day they lie to me, they pretend like everything is completely normal when it clearly isn't. They are psychologically abusive, manipulative, and they are literally torturing me.
I need to get the fuck out of this town. I need to get out of this state. I need someone to come and get me. To tell me what is going on. I can't do anything. It's literally impossible for me to make a move on my own. Not until someone tells me the truth.
I'm dying from illness and they know it. I have a heart condition and degenerative brain disease. I think they are hoping I either die from these illnesses or end up killing myself from the severe depression they are inflicting on me. It's literally torture.
I have no idea what I did to deserve this. I have done nothing but help the people I loved. I supported them, cared for them,and did what I could to help them succeed.
I don't know what I did to deserve this. No one will tell me. I didn't do anything.
I want to go home. I don't know where that is but I want to go. I want to try to find it. But no one will help me. They just watch as I'm being tortured.
I kind of dislike and admire myself at the same time for being able to easily let go of any close relationship I had with any of my close friends. Like a 5 or 10 year friendship that I can be fine with even if it's gone just like that one day.
And it's kind of scary to know what else I can easily let go of, short of a romantic or familial relationship that is.
I recognize that I am also to blame for what I am today but let's be honest, if it wasn't for you I wouldn't have hit this rock bottom. I don't care what you say I will always blame you. Everyone knows you're guilty, you know you're guilty and I hope to God the past haunts you with guilt and shame. I will make sure that I will remind you from your past disgusting self every time we meet and how lowly and awful you were and the many people that you have hurt because of your delusions of grandeur. I know you will remember it forever, cause the things you have done is not something you can't forget. A part of me wish that you will never change because I know things won't be as easy as it was back then when we were kids, because you are losing your good looks, which let's be honest is your only trump card in acting as horrible and negligent as you see fit, already before 30. I think your over drinking has finally caught up to you.
Also stop dying your hair like you are 16, it makes you look like an actual whore.
Women lie all the time for profit off guys over the amount of guys they've fucked, only thing men have is pride. If you can chip away at that, your fine.
Yea Military. may not be the most fufilling, but it will help you get a sense of purpose and a little self respect if that also gets you Jow Forums.
thanks for ruining my life from the very beginning. I really fucking appreciate you drugging me against my knowledge (or will) to turn me into the grotesque... freak I am now.
I truly fucking hate myself.
I don't get why you refuse to see that no matter what you say, do, or how much time passes, I will always have this feeling of disgust toward you at the very center of my being, I told you this before, but you embody everything I hated in HS, and everything I hated about myself.
continue to put your life on hold at your own risk.
Advice discord that's good for venting discord.gg
thanks for ruining my life from the very beginning. I really fucking appreciate you drugging me against my knowledge (or will) to turn me into the grotesque... freak I am now.
I truly fucking hate myself.
Let's list household bills:
300 for rent
250 for electric in a bad month
60 for water, if that
30 for trash
80 for internet
That's 720 in a particularly expensive month. You make just over 14 an hour at full time and I make just barely over minimum at full time. After taxes you're getting roughly 300 more per pay period than I.
Now, personal bills:
I pay...
35 for phone
70 for insurance
You pay...
250 for your car
220 for your smartphone
30 for YoutubeRed and Hulu
and your girlfriend pays the insurance
Despite me paying less and having far less financial obligations due to purposefully sacrificing the amenities you drown yourself in daily, you ask me to pay $600 a month to live with you. That's fucking ridiculous; you're using me to subsidize your stupid fucking decisions by paying you what I could easily pay to live alone and still you have the AUDACITY to ask me for grocery/weed/drinks money? No wonder your girlfriend is on my dick; you're embarrassingly ill-equipped to be an adult. Maybe try grocery shopping instead of fast food 4 times a week and you wouldn't be teetering on 400 pounds and have a body covered in cystic acne, you fuck.
Maybe it's me, I don't know. Maybe I'm just a slow learner and I have too many mistakes. But I won't keep apologizing constantly like this for too long. I know I'm driving a fucking car, but I'm also paying for your service. I'm getting yelled at for shit that I can fucking guarantee is not as much of a deal. Sure I can toughen up, but for crying out loud, stop making me angry at the fucking wheel because worst things can happen. I'm not that social, I just want my fucking license, that's it. I'm respectful to you so be respectful to me, because after all it's not fucking cheap and I can still just pull out and find somewhere else. When there's real issues, scream at me, otherwise just stop being like that. I ain't going to spend hundreds of euros just to get frustrated.
Just tell them, you are being sadistic and petty if someone cares about you and you hate them that much but wont release them with the truth.
I am so fucking done with this shit. Alright, so about 3-4 weeks ago, I got a job. I didn't really like it, but I was committed to making my life better by getting a job and sticking with it. I worked in a restaurant. I have severe social anxiety and this job involved many different steps that involved lots of people. It was tough, I cried, but I did it. The job started out with me only working a day, then they said they would tell me the next day that I could work. I didn't get an official schedule, so they texted me when they needed me to work. After a few times, they required me to get a bunch of different certifications, all of which cost money, and were very draining to do. But again, I did them because keeping the job is important.
Now I currently live with my mother. It is too expensive to live on my own where I live, and I don't have the money to go get my license. I only worked around three or so days before getting really, really sick. I was bed ridden, but after about a week, I told my boss I was feeling better, and sent them a list of days that I could work. They didn't reply for two weeks. even though they said they would text. I waited, and waited, and they finally replied and said I could pick up my paycheck. I went in, and the environment felt cold. No one was smiling at me, and no one waved or said hi... It was not a busy day at all.
Now, when I picked up my paycheck, they said they would once again text me. It has been two weeks, they have not. I tell my mother I am going to search for a better job, one that will actually give me a schedule and treat me with respect, and she flipped her shit at me. Telling me I am being "snotty" and "rude" and that I am not leaving gracefully by saying that if they do end up texting me, I am not going into work... Keep in mind, I would be very polite when saying that I am choosing to part ways with them, I was just letting out a little steam about how I was feeling...
I fucking hate everything.
>trying to get apartment asap
>have a list of questions to ask cuz aspie
>call apartment, get through some questions
>thrown off because lady isn't answering questions in the order i'd written them
>unintentionally set up appointment because can't say no
>ask if there's any way to start application online, get denied
>forget to specifically ask if there's a way to start the background check, hang up
>realize date and time of appointment is a terrible time, probably should call again
>at least this time i can make sure to ask about the background check
>call back, get appointment moved, hang up
>still never fucking asked about background check
damn it feels good to be a gangster