Tfw feel shit after my last gf told me she doesn't love me and just went for some other guy

She lives with her parents so unless she moves out, I can hardly see her actually being a housewife. That said I find it really qt that her hobby is sewing.

For a week so far. Again, having been with a girlhat did cook and she loved it AND she loved sex AND had a really fun job I really loved her. And since I'm actually oriented towards a proper long-lasting relationship, I just don't see myself with someone who won't even so much as cook me a fucking meal after work.

Well I'm really the type of guy who always aims to be the man in the relationship. I know how to do all the male stuff, and I expect my girlfriend/wife to do her job. It's the only way I can see an actual relationship work.

I'd try cooking with her because I really wanted to start to myself but she already told me she absolutely hates cooking and if that's her attitude towards it then I suppose that even if I got her to learn how to cook and even do it for me, it'd always be something she fucking hates. Unlike other girls like my previous gf who just loved doing it, taking pics of what she made and just smiling when I ate it and told her it tastes great.

she doe shave a job though right? just not a 'good' one?

Yeah. Making ice cream. Doesn't even make minimum wage that way.

She was gonna go for some medical stuff but unfortunately due to her depression and self-harm she had to spend few months in a mental insitution which meant her failing a year of school. She's not dumb by any means, she just fell behind with the school stuff. Meaning she's been falling behind with pretty much everything now.

At the end of the day only you know the ins and outs of the situation. Jow Forums is often just a mirror for you to clearly see yourself and decide what you want. If you are having fun I'd ride it out, but it doesn't sound like you're even having fun. so go ahead and move on. I wouldn't over think this. whether you move on or stay you aren't going to be thinking about this moment one year from now.

Well if she hates cooking THAT much then she'll probably hate doing the household chores even more. If you stay with her you'll end up doing all of the work. It sounds like you already know what the best thing for you to do is.

>SHE WON'T EVEN COOK FOR ME AFTER I WORK

well she worked too, so why is it her job?

I suppose I do... I really don't want to say it to her but I guess there is no other choice.

Sex is always fun but I don't want it to end just there. Two years ago I'd probably go for it but right now I just don't think that's what I want. She's younger than me so she's probably thinking similarly to how I used to those few years ago. The previous gf was exactly my age but she wasn't really having it and wanted a guy that's older. I don't really just want to fuck around anymore to be honest.

I'm just kinda scared that I actually will think about it a year from now. Remember it as breaking some girls heart and losing a chance to be genuinely loved for who I am. Because she really doesn't seem to mind my bad sides, unlike all the other girls I've been with in the past. Hell, I'm a thin manlet and even before meeting her when I told her that, she was still like "user it's okay, I still want to meet you. You seem to be a good person"

I don't fucking know anymore

Because I don't know how to do it. I can go grab the groceries when going back from my work and meet her at home and have her cook me stuff while I can do whatever other thing she asks me for, including cleaning the fucking house.

Then why not learn to cook and let her go shopping and/or do the chores? Neither of you know how to cook so why is she the only one who is worse for it.

'not minding your bad sides' is not the same as loving you for who you are. and loving you for who you are isn't all its cracked up to be. yeah it can be great, having someone who loves you as you are, but often times its because they are a 'low quality' person and they simply have no room to complain. in return you just feel bad about leaving someone who puts up with you, so you put up with things you don't actually want to have to put up with. thats not love. thats laziness. Don't get me wrong, the flip side of expecting change out of each other can be just as unhealthy. but even I can see that this isn't a great relationship despite being the one telling you to stick with ti for awhile.

sounds like you overthink this. you are not so important that you will ruin someone for breaking up with them. break ups are the most common modern human experience. we all go through it.

Not knowing how to cook as a grown man is kinda on you, faggot

I could understand this mindset if you were the only one who works, but getting mad at someone for not doing the things you also refuse to do while also working is pretty stupid and really just misogynistic. I usually dont throw that word around because ugh, but expecting the woman to cook and not yourself despite both working is legit sexism.

If OP has a good job, working full time, making a lot of money, and the girl is working part time making sub minimum wage it sounds fair to expect her do more of the household chores.

They don't even live together. they've been together a week. even if they did move in together, she could still potentially pay for half of their shared lifestyle, so its pretty unfair to immediately project that she needs to cook but OP doesn't.

I had a roommate with a similar mindset. we werent even dating, we were both men but hed come home and be mad that the place wasn't cleaned.

>why didnt you clean
>well you didn't clean either
>well I work all day, so you have to clean
>but you do that to pay for yourself
>look in my house my dad works, so my mom has to do the cleaning
>BUT YOUR DAD SUPPORTS YOUR FUCKING MOM RETARD

its basically the same here. its not her job to cook for him.

>Then why not learn to cook and let her go shopping and/or do the chores? Neither of you know how to cook so why is she the only one who is worse for it.
I don't like cooking either but given that I can do literally everything else man should be doing at home, I think I can have this one on the girl, right?

>'not minding your bad sides' is not the same as loving you for who you are.
It's not exactly what I meant. I have some shit past and so does she. Given that I think I'm not a bad person despite that stuff, I can look past her bad stuff simply because I believe that if we're there for each other and we're together, we can bring out the best of us and just work. Besides, I'm a manlet and if she doesn't mind that then I'm good with that.

>sounds like you overthink this. you are not so important that you will ruin someone for breaking up with them. break ups are the most common modern human experience. we all go through it.
Probably yeah, but I know how badly I react to being rejected like that and since she has a history of cutting herself and shit, I just don't want to fuck her up even more.

Yeah... I'm looking to learn how to do it. But that doesn't change the fact that I want my woman to do it too.

Uhh.. I'm just looking to build a normal traditional family. That's all. If the girl doesn't know how to cook, she's hardly of use to me. She can be a good fuck friend but not a wife material. Can you imagine a man who doesn't know how to change a fucking tyre or fix a sink?

We haven't even been together, user. It's barely a beginning of a relationship and I'm already evaluating stuff before I delve deeper into it.

>its basically the same here. its not her job to cook for him.
It's not. But it is her job as a woman to know how to do it. And to be honest, don't you think it'd simply be nice for a girl to invite you every now and then for something she has made for you? I've already had that happen to me and by god this was the nicest thing on earth.

she can also do literally any other fucking chore. its not for you to decide who gets what when you both have the same skillset: which is not fucking cooking. its no wonder this is the only girl you can get.

>i can look past her bad stuff
you can't even look past the stuff you have in common. neither of you can cook and you act like shes the pathetic one for it.

>If the girl doesn't know how to cook, she's hardly of use to me.
case and point. its been 1 week, you havent even talked about all this and are already bitching about how she doesn't fall into your sexist demands.

>Can you imagine a man who doesn't know how to change a fucking tyre or fix a sink?
I am a single woman, I know how to do both of those things. Don't get me wrong I prefer to cook and have a husband who does dishes (which isn't even traditional so you're kind of contradicting yourself here) but the big issue here is that you are being a hypocrite. getting mad at a woman who won't cook for you, that you have only 'dated' for a week, when you can't even cook either. this isn't even a 'rah rah' feminist bullshit, its just the modern reality: we don't get married right out of highschool. both genders learn how to fix sinks and cook.

frankly, I'd be annoyed if a man can't cook, its a basic life skill everyone should learn. if I'm just fucking sick the man should be able to boil some fucking noodles or throw a hunk of meat in the oven. its not even a 'skill' its a matter of common sense or at least googling the 5 steps it takes to cook something.

>But it is her job as a woman to know how to do it.
no its not.

cont.

>don't you think it'd simply be nice for a girl to invite you every now and then for something she has made for you?
don't you think itd be nice for the boy to invite her over for a meal now and then?

if you want to have a sexist mindset i doubt i will change your mind, and despite my annoyance I'm not hte kind of person who thinks that a person is ruined, or even just a 'bad person' for being sexist, homophobic or racist, especially since its clearly not done with any malice in your situation. but on the flip side you have to realize that the modern woman (not a feminist, but literally just modern day women) are not going to share your mindset as a whole. You can try to make your arrangements but in todays world it makes way more sense when most people know how to do all the skills so they can take turns as needed. with both parents working, both need to know how to cook to alternate for instance.

>you can't even look past the stuff you have in common. neither of you can cook and you act like shes the pathetic one for it.
You're being an asshole now. I told you that she's had some bad shit going on in her life but I also had some so I can look past it.

>case and point. its been 1 week, you havent even talked about all this and are already bitching about how she doesn't fall into your sexist demands.
We have talked about it. Hence me even creating this thread, user. And it's not sexist. Get fucking real.

>I am a single woman
That explains how emotional you're getting... I can't cook but I'm looking forward to learning how to do it. Regardless of that, I want a girl to cook while I can handle the manly stuff. It's really simple and I can't make it any simpler for you to understand. I'm NOT going to handle everything in a relationship and I'm most definitely not going to let the girl "just be". That's not how relationships work and if this is how it's going to be then I'd rather stay alone than carry the burden of someone else's life aside from mine. Jesus christ can you even imagine what would happen if a child came our way? Not being able to make a simple meal for the kid is a nightmare, and let me remind you - it's women who get the maternal leave, not men. So I'd be at work at the time.

>no its not.
It is. It's kinda funny how you're literally getting mad that a man can't cook but just can't understand how I don't like the fact that a woman can't.

>don't you think itd be nice for the boy to invite her over for a meal now and then?
Sure, it would be. I'm not saying no to that. So what?

>I'm not saying no to that.
Then learn to cook. then you can expect your partner to cook. otherwise you're just a hypocrite.

>i can look past it
>except for how i also say shes of no use to me
PICK ONE AND ONLY ONE

>remember that if you get annoyed ITS BECAUSE YOU ARE A WOMAN.
Its no wonder you can only attract someone you see as no use to you. going to go ahead and just disregard the rest of that paragraph. you are a man after all, so that explains why you're acting retarded.

>Then learn to cook. then you can expect your partner to cook. otherwise you're just a hypocrite.
So what, I'm supposed to expect her to do literally everything else I know how to do? Don't you see that I'm simply trying to make a relationship that would be an effective cooperative team of "I do this, you do that and we perfectly compliment each other and need each other"?

>PICK ONE AND ONLY ONE
Not everything I can look past. There's a lot of shit I can accept but I can't accept my future wife not knowing how to cook anything and absolutely hating it.

>Its no wonder you can only attract someone you see as no use to you. going to go ahead and just disregard the rest of that paragraph. you are a man after all, so that explains why you're acting retarded.
Look at other posts. They are cold-headed and nobody's getting mad at each other. And then comes you, spouting all that "muh misoginy and sexism and raycism" and other shit simply because you can't handle someone expecting a woman to be a woman. I'm a man and I do male stuff, I want a woman who does female stuff. I wouldn't want a woman with a dick, nor do I expect any woman to want a submissive guy who is or has a fucking pussy.

That said, I did attract multiple other girls who knew how to cook, like my previous gf. Things didn;t work out between us for other reasons but that's another story.

> he is a man and does male stuff , his gf is a woman and should do woman stuff.
^ what the actual fuck.
Are you being serious? It's 2018.

Yeah well there are countries where people still want that. I'm in one of those countries.

Im from one of those countries too. But this is because of people like you that those countries are the way they are D:

Suggest you take up learning to cook together
If she's adamant about not cooking tell her there's no way you're going to be the sole cook.

You're the one not making sense. What OP is looking for is perfectly fair. You're pushing your fickle political opinions and memes where they don't apply.

op said he can't cook but expects his gf to be the one cooking although she has a job. fair you say ?

Why don't you just make instant ramen or a ham sandwich.
Not everybody has precious life minutes to waste cooking something when they can yeet into Mickey D's to get some chicken tendies.

What the fuck does cooking even have to do with having a job anyway?

op wants her to be a housewife basically , you cant be a housewife and work at the same time. Makes no sense.

and why doesnt he learn to cook himself tho ? if she sees his effort , she wont let him cook all by himself anyway. Problem solved.

I'm OP and I asked that question. No. It's not about being a housewife. It's about having a basic fucking skill to cook a simplest fucking meal. I had a girlfriend that worked HARD as fuck and still had time to bake cookies or make a decent meal and she genuinely loved making it. It's possible. And that's what I want.

Read the thread

She has a job right now. They don't live together yet. OP is searching for a girl that can potentially be his wife. He's thinking long term right now. He doesn't want to waste time with a girl that he can't see himself having a lasting relationship with.

Well then don't date her, it's not rocket science. I don't to the dishes or any chores relating to water, that will never change and my boyfriend understands that, she will probably never change so you're going to have to accept that or forget about dating her.

God, what an annoying thread this developed to be. Look, OP, cooking is a basic skill and it's decently important you learn it, at least some easy stuff, it's just a good skill to have, relationship or not. That said, relationships are different for everyone, you can't just impose your expectations into other peoples relationships, so no, he is not being a sexist pig if he wants to share the work and assign to the girl a skill he does not have yet.
But i am maybe giving OP too much trust, he's contradicting himself sometimes.
>>"It's about having a basic fucking skill to cook a simplest fucking meal."
Doesn't know how to cook.

If she is a nice girl, try talking to her about this, see if she tries. If she doesn't or you can't reach a middle ground about it, go away, no problems there.

Op, do you have enough money to support her plus her children, while she goes throughout life without a job? If you don't you're being retarded and should stop pushing your beliefs onto her. You can't say you want a traditional household but still want her to have "decent future job perspectives", TRADITIONALLY WOMEN DIDN'T HAVE JOBS, you can't skirt the line so you're the only one that benefits, that's just stupid. It's either:
>at home gf/wife (NO JOB)
>does chores
>cooks
>takes care of potential children
OR
>working wife
>does half chores
>half of cooking
>nanny

>she absolutely hates cooking
he already talked to her about it, it seems

She will probably start cooking after long relationship, how do you know she hates cooking? Maybe she said that as a joke and you took it very seriously, other than that just talk together about your future and if it won't come out good then you decide if you want to stay with her or not