So since Wednesday I have had three dates with the same guy. On the last date we cuddled and made out. I could tell he wanted more. (I was on my period, and its too early IMO)
He says he's interested in me, but doesn't really text much. Basically only to ask when I'm free, and after to say he had fun.
Should or do most guys text everyday or a lot if they're interested? Or is it possible he just hates texting?
Call him...
Guys are as varied as girl when it comes to texting. Some like it some hate it, some are good at it and others are bad at it.
It's also possible he's had some third party advice somewhere along the line telling him to minimise the amount of texting he does with girls. I know one of my friends got hung up on this retarded self-help book he read about talking to women which claimed that you should set up your dates and not really speak in between, only to find out that people don't actually communicate like that anymore and it doesn't apply to real life.
If you want him to text you more just say "how come you never text me?"
Also worth mentioning is that men are taught that the worst thing we can be is a nuisance to a woman. A strong possibility for his lack of communication is that he doesn't want to be annoying or seen as clingy by you.
Does it matter to you if he texts much? If he agrees to see you and says he had fun, I don't see an issue.
Don't go looking to create problems where there are none. Just keep things chill and see how it all goes.
Thays true, thank you.
I guess I was hoping for more flirtation in between dates
For sure I'm scared of coming off clingy, so I'm avoiding bringing it up.
If he texted you more, you wouldn't be into it.
He knows what he's doing.
>For sure I'm scared of coming off clingy, so I'm avoiding bringing it up.
He feels the same way
Seriously just text him first. You surely can't be so much of a coward that you can't just send a good morning text to a dude who has had his tongue down your throat?
Why is texting so important for girls? It's like they expect you to initiate a new conversation every day or else they get annoyed but they won't even tell you.
How about you try TALKING to him OP, rather than let him guess what you want just to be disappointed he's not a mind-reader?
Texting is a horrible way to communicate in a relationship. In person is always best but a phone call is still way better.
You really should call him... it's more fulfilling. Texting is addicting bc of the anxiety.
Not OP but I'm terrible at talking over the phone, so painfully awkward. Texting is the way to go I'd say
Not OP but I don't get people who think this because I've certainly never met a girl who didn't want to text at least occasionally in between dates. Do people who say this put it into practice? Do you date people and only speak to them when you're face to face?
Texting is good for touch and go stuff or cute little pleasantries, but verbal phone call is much more intimate. I do both... call once a day (maybe every other day), a few texts in am and after work.
I feel like a phone call is aggressive. Like saying I don't have the patients to wait for a reply.
Some people like texting more than phone calls. Some don't.
Dating advice for modern men usually implores them to limit texting to scheduling more dates. If he didnt get any advice he might be doing it on his own. It's not a game, but there could be something to the psychology of texting "too much" as it opens up more room for miscommunication and awkwardness due to lack of tone or inflection.
There is nothing to go off of but letters on a screen. It's ok for normal things but for more intimate things there is no context but emojis. You're missing so many other things that go along with communicating like body language, the tone of your voice, facial expressions all that little shit makes a big difference and is an important part of communication.
I'm not the best at explaining.
See I don't find phone calls intimate in the least, whereas there is something distinctly intimate about maintaining running contact with someone through text. I don't even mean the kind of running contact where it's 100 messages a day, even half a dozen messages per day has the effect.
I also think that speaking in between dates (and this obviously applies to phone calls as well) helps to continuously build your rapport with someone. You develop inside jokes and find out things about each other that make it all that much easier to spend time with the other person and speak to them for prolonged periods. One of the most important factors for me in a relationship is just how easy it is to spend hours and hours with the other person, and texting plays a big role in reaching that level of comfort.
But even when you're talking over the phone, you can't see facial expressions or body language, and even if you hear the tone of someone's voice you can still misinterpret it. Idk dude when I'm texting I always have stuff to talk about. Phone calls are always filled with awkward silence, if you heard me on the phone with my bf of 7 years you'd think I didn't even like him
To each their own... both have their place but a relationship without phone calls would be weird. But otherwise yes, you have to be connected to keep a connection
Those are fair criticisms, except people DO use emojis which helps to provide context and a sort of faux-inflection to what they're typing out. The same way as you have to learn how to express yourself verbally, you can learn to express yourself very effectively through text. You learn what does and doesn't work and how to use phrasing or punctuation or stupid little faces to get your point across.
The thing that I'm really struggling to understand though is that lack of contact in between dates. You phone her up to set up the next date and then just don't speak? That seems really cold and distant to me.
And I'm not saying this as some 18 year old kid I'm 26 and I can see huge value in being able to text or message someone.
No... call her every night or every other night. Text throughout the day but nothing in-depth, just touch and go.
OP here, we a both barely 30. I was in one relationship lasting my entire 20s. Dating now through online and text is new to me, and why I'm not sure what's the acceptable amount. But my friends have told me I can come on strong, so I'm waiting for him to make the moves here...
Don't play games... be yourself. It's his job to figure what he likes, not yours.
What you're saying then is actually more contact that I'm really imagining when I talk about exchanging a dozen messages or so with a girl? Because you're saying to send those messages and then also call her?
Any amount is acceptable, it depends on the person.
>waiting for him to make the move
It's the year 2025 and you're a strong independent woman, you're allowed to make a move. He won't do it because he has more to lose by seeming clingy than you do. If a woman is clingy it's just a case of "that's how women get" and he never gives it a second thought, but if the man is clingy the woman says "wow he's so needy it's a bit excessive" and never speaks to him again.
>I'm not like that
You might not be but every guy I have ever spoken to about this, and I mean every single guy, has been in a situation where seeming needy has gotten him dumped.
Want to text him? Text him. Say "hey how was your day?" or something equally open ended so that it's clear you're just starting a conversation for the sake of starting a conversation.
I agree. I was just offering an opinion on the subject from my experience. The more intimate stuff is best in person imo. That's how you really get to know someone but when you do it over text you're missing all those things in a conversation that might not come up again. Essentially getting the bare minimum of bonding from it instead of the full experience of that conversation.
Probably more contact... I move fast but I'm picky and not afraid to walk away. I don't play games. It's not right for everyone but I'm engaged currently and never had much problems with women before. Just stating my perspective.